Thursday, December 31, 2009

'Twas a good year

Well this is probably going to be my last post of 2009 unless something great pops into my head before I start celebrating the new year. I posted a total of 131 posts on my blog this year (actually 132 if you count this one) during a span of 145 days. I started my blog on August 8th so I had about 21 weeks of 2009 to cram as much useless nonsense in. Not too bad for my first few months, that breaks down to a post a day with roughly 2 weeks leftover. I wish I had wrote more in November and December but there is no going back now unless I develop a working flux capacitor and find a Delorean in good shape.

I decided that I need to set some goals for 2010 (in life as well as for my blog). I need more consistency and accountability in my blog. My goal for January is to have 20 posts, that's about 5 posts a week. That seems very doable since I averaged about 22 posts in the last 6 months. I also would like to have someone from another blog write something to post on here. I would like to extend an invitation to the author of I Think Its Interesting to be a guest writer for 'Just the Cheese.' I would use their real name but I'm not sure if they want me to, you know who you are.

I want to actually make some money writing this blog but that seems like a lot of work. I haven't decided if I'm going to go full force into this whole thing yet. I need to work on securing a better job in the real world first before I can do anything major with this project.

As a final word for 2009 I would like some input from the masses. What did you like/dislike about my posts this past year? What can I do to improve my blog? Add anything else you want to say, positive or negative. Tell me your thoughts. See you again in 2010. Over and out.

Want a free burial?

First off I just have to say WTF!! You will probably share the same feelings after you are done reading. There is a funeral home in Rome, Georgia offering a free burial to anyone that drinks and drives on New Year's and dies in doing so.

Apparently they are trying to raise awareness on the subject of drinking and driving but in the most unethical and fucked up way. First off to get the free burial you have to sign a contract that states that you promise to drink and drive during the holiday. Who is going to sign this dumb ass contract? It's probably some sort of sting operation and you will get arrested for conspiracy to commit drinking and driving or some crazy charge.

Now what if there are other victims in the drinking and driving accidents, are they covered under this contract? This doesn't seem like it should be legal. There is definitely some kind of law being broken here but it's in the south so probably not. If you can own a slave then you can do anything. I think George W. had something to do with this scheme. What is happening to this country?

How about you just do the old fashioned thing and have a designated driver or just sleep wherever you are going to be that night. Don't be that moron that thinks they can still drive perfect when they are drunk. Most of the idiots on the road can't even drive when they are sober. Let's be safe out there folks.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sarah Mclachlan needs your help

Has anybody seen that ASPCA neglected animal commercial with Sarah McLachlan? It makes me want to go out and adopt a few cats and dogs. I've seen the commercial a few times before but every time it gets me a little choked up. The faces on those animals are so sad and adorable at the same time. It made me want to go pet my pussy cat.

I also get a little sad when I see the one about saving the polar bears. I'm not sure what they actually use the money for. Polar bears are going to be extinct soon, make a donation!!

My mother can't even watch those commercials. She has a soft spot for animals. She is always taking in other people's pets that they can't take care of anymore. In our house we have 9 cats and 3 dogs plus some goldfish and frogs. It's our own little petting zoo. Admission is only $3 but to use the bathroom will cost you $10, $1 per sheet of TP. Also pet at your own risk.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Life is like a hurricane.....

One of my favorite cartoons growing up was DuckTales. I also loved the video game for Nintendo. I'm going to throw out some trivia for you.

What is the name of the little girl that Huey, Dewey and Louie played with?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

School's out for........ winter

I took my last final last night so this semester is in the bag. No more school for a month. I can concentrate on other things like blogging which I am way behind on. One post a week just isn't cutting it. I am still getting a lot of traffic from people Googling "dirty mad libs." I don't care how they get here as long as they do.

Anyone remember the video game Battletoads for NES? Well my fiance gave me an early Christmas present and you guessed it, Battletoads. Man that game takes me back to elementary school. I remember that game being so awesome. I played a little the other day and it was just as I remembered. Battletoads had pretty advanced features in the game like picking up weapons, turning into a wrecking ball and having giant feet to crush the enemy. Someone should remake that game for Xbox 360.

The sequel game, Battletoads: Double Dragon was pretty sweet too. I love playing old video games. My mom bought that after market system that can play both NES and Super NES games on it. It plays the old games like brand new, you don't even have to blow into them. My games have been sitting up in the attic collecting dust until this year. They hadn't been played in years and they worked right away.

I want to try and re beat all 3 TMNT's and Yo Noid! Some of those old games are hard to beat because you can't save your progress so you have to play all the way through. It's kind of funny that if the NES system or the game didn't work all you had to do was blow in it or bang it a little, worked every time. Nowadays if you're not careful you can burn a hole in a PlayStation or Xbox game. Technology has come a far way but has gotten way too sensitive.

I can talk for hour on this subject of old video games but I'm gonna stop here but you can reminisce with yourself about the good old days.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Best X-mas decor

You have probably seen this floating around the internet. If you haven't, it's some guys Christmas decoration. He had to take it down after 2 days by order of the police. It was a big traffic distraction and some old lady tried to actually help the dummy by picking up the 75 lb. ladder and climbing it, she wasn't too happy when she found out it wasn't a real dude.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Bob Barker or Drew Carey?

According to the polls no one wants Bob Barker as their hero. He is my hero. I used to watch The Price is Right everyday before school back in the day. Ever since I was a little tike I've wanted to be on The Price is Right. I wanted tickets to the show for my 18th birthday but sadly my wish was not granted. Now I have missed the boat because Drew Carey is the host and Bob is somewhere getting a lap dance from a 19 year old girl "working her way through school."

I don't like Drew as the host, he tries to be funny where as Bob was classy and suave. Did you know that Bob had a few sexual harassment suits on the show? He was a little too touchy feely with the stage girls; very naughty. I still want to be on the show but it won't be the same without Bob. Anybody share my feelings?

I started this post to talk about my 2 polls not to talk about Mr. Barker. Somehow My little Pony is winning as people's favorite cartoon. Either there are more ladies visiting my blog or people are just trying to be funny. I thought TMNT would win out by a landslide, it's a closer race than I figured. I loved DuckTales, that show was awesome and so was the game for Nintendo. I can still recite the theme song to it; yup I'm a loser, but one with good cartoon taste.

If you haven't voted yet there are only 1-2 weeks left and we need a clear cut winner. I don't want My Little Pony to win and Bob needs some votes. Spongebob and Batman are tied, who will be victorious?

Friday, December 11, 2009


A magician comes to a small bridge carrying 3 pieces of gold. A sign if front of the bridge reads "Weight Limit 180 lbs." The magician weighs 178 lbs and each piece of gold weighs 1 lb each. After thinking for a bit the magician is able to cross the bridge with all 3 pieces of gold in one trip. How was the magician able to cross the bridge with all 3 pieces of gold?
In this scenario let's say that the bridge is weak enough to collapse with 1 extra pound more than the limit.

Answer to Riddle

Here is the answer to the CleverRiddle since nobody was able to solve it. The way to get the ping pong ball out of the pipe is to pee in the pipe. Yeah it's gross but that is the answer. I'm sure it would be tough for a woman to do it and also would be pretty funny to watch. Better luck next time folks.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

lazy, lazy, lazy

What is going on with me? I am definitely slacking on my blog. When I started it back in August I was writing like 2 posts a day, now it's down to like 2 a week. I only have 2 posts for December (well 3 if you count this one) and it's already the 10th. I think I try to be productive during the day and writing a blog post is last on that list plus I'm not generating the ideas like I was before. I didn't think this would happen. I was all excited when I started my blog and now I don't care as much for some reason.

I remember when I started using Sitemeter and I was all excited when I got 20 visitors. Now I'm almost at 2000 visitors and it doesn't phase me that much, I'm like "ehh." I have come to realize that any new thing in my life turns into a phase. For example I tried to learn how to juggle, I played computer scrabble for awhile, chess, certain video games, well you get the point. I am trying not to have blogging become just a phase. I want to keep up with it.

I don't really like to talk about current events because everybody does that. I find things unusual and different to discuss like the fancy toilet post and complaining about people. I need to reformat my blog and get into a routine of writing posts if I ever want this to make me any money or turn into something big. I also haven't put up a riddle in awhile. I think school and homework might be getting in the way. Do I really need a better edumication?

I'll sit down and come up with some ideas for you loyal readers. To the drawing bat cave!!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Pet Peeves

I have come to realize that I dislike and am annoyed by the general population. The things people do and say really irritate me. For example: more and more people are driving way too slow, especially on the parkway. If the speed limit is 55, don't go 40 you freakin' jackass! Even more annoying are the people that like to make their turns at 2 mph like they have premature babies on top of their car and they are being extra cautious. Please learn how to drive people or I'm going to have to go Tonya Harding on your ass.

My pet peeve isn't just slow drivers, it's also slow people. No, I'm not talking about mentally challenged people, that's cruel and I'm not Satan. I'm talking about people that don't understand what you are saying after you have explained it 10 times over and are just plain dumb. Those people are very annoying and ask the dumbest questions. Talking to them makes you want to give yourself a frontal lobotomy with a rusty butter knife.

Am I too cynical? Am I the only person that feels this way? I feel the general population is getting dumber and relying too much on technology to help them out. Maybe it's because I view myself as an intelligent person and look down on the morons. I recently took an IQ test and scored a 142. It says that I am border-line genius. Einstein (I think, don't quote me on this) only had an IQ of 178. I feel I am destined for great things, I have no idea what those great things are just that I am destined for them. Okay I'm starting to ramble and that's my cue to go invent something awesome.

So stop driving so slow and stop being a moron. Good day.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Great "first kiss"

I'm going to change things up today and share my feelings instead of being sarcastic. It's a rare event so you might want to soak it all in. This post is going to mainly be about my fiance Nicole, well because she deserves it for putting up with me. Okay on to the serious stuff.

As you may already know (if you follow my blog) Nicole and I are recently engaged, a month to be exact and things have never been better. Giving her that ring has brought out all my feelings and emotions. I have been more loving, affectionate and well, girly in a matter of speaking. I am always thinking about the future with her which puts a big smile on my face. I can definitely see myself growing old with her.

The main catalyst for this blog post is a kiss we had the other day. It was a goodbye kiss we had in the parking lot after having some subway before I left for school. It was one of those amazing first kiss type kisses where you really connect with the person on an emotional level. We kiss a lot but this one was different, it stayed on my mind for the next few hours. It was very passionate and deep and I hated that I had to leave for school. It was a kiss that would of turned into some great love making (especially for conception.)

I love kissing Nicole, sometimes it's better than sex, yeah I said it. And I'm not talking about making out because that's what horny teenagers do. I'm talking about passionate kissing that lasts so long that your mouth is all dried out. I find the best kissing comes when you know there isn't going to be any sex. When sex is involves the kissing tends to get cut short and other parts get touched instead. However sometimes the best kissing comes during really great sex. I guess it's one of those in the moment type situations.

You know how you get a craving for food, well I get cravings to kiss Nicole. A lot of times I will be on my way to see her thinking about kissing her hello and I will get all excited and anxious. Very often I will just turn to her and plant a big one on her lips and she will say "what was that for?" I had to satisfy my craving. I love her very much and we are very happy together. I can't wait to be her husband!!

Monday, November 30, 2009


Marriage is like a 3 ring circus,
First comes the engagement ring,
Then the wedding ring,
and finally the suffering.

It's been awhile

I have been slacking on my blog this week. I only wrote one post and it wasn't even humorous, it was serious and sad. I have been unconsciously writing less and less for some reason. Usually I come up with some ideas and make a draft about them but I haven't had anything funny happen to talk about. It doesn't help that I'm trying to bring in some extra cash with my ads on here. I'm not suppose to talk about the ads so that's all I will say. I need to get back on track. Now what to write about.......?

Let's talk about something interesting now. One of my favorite unthought of thing in life is the elusive cold side of the pillow. Like most of you I can't sleep with a warm pillow, it needs to be nice and cold. Somehow even with the heat on my pillows still manage to stay cold. I don't even have special pillows or pillow cases. I've always wanted one of those special cold comfort pillows that are suppose to be cold. The things they make nowadays. I could of invented that!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Memory of my Father

Yesterday November 23rd marked 13 years since my father passed away from Diabetes. I was only 12 years old when I lost my dad. I think about it more nowadays than when I was younger. It sucks thinking about the future without a father figure in it. I know my life would be a lot different if my father was still alive today. I probably wouldn't be that sarcastic and wouldn't have such a good sense of humor. I could probably write a whole lot on this subject but I don't want to make myself cry or become too saddened by this. My heart goes out to you if you have lost a parent, it's very tough on the children.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Fourth Kind

I was going to write this post yesterday but I took a nap instead, who doesn't love a good nap? We need that implemented at work, instead of a break we should have naptime with juice or milk and a blanket like in nursery school and kindergarten. I actually have memories from nursery school, ahh being young....

Okay enough about taking a nap, more about movies. Nicole and I saw The Fourth Kind at the Poughkeepsie Galleria on Friday night after some delicious Chilis, 2 for $20 baby, can't beat that!! That spicy cajun chicken pasta is very tasty, it was even better as leftovers at 3:30 in the morning. Oh yeah I'm suppose to be talking about the movie.

It was a decent movie, I thought it would of been better. They kind of showed all the good parts in the coming attractions. It was kinda scary and made me believe in aliens more than I did but I heard that the woman that was suppose to be the real Abigail Tyler (the psychologist) was actually an actress. I can't believe movies based on true events anymore, it just seems like a ploy by Hollywood to trick society into going to see their films.

One of the things I thought was interesting about this movie is Elias Koteas is in it. Remember Casey Jones from TMNT? That's him, you probably didn't even now his real name, he also played Kirstie Alley's brother in Look Who's Talking. I think Look Who's Talking Too is better than the first one, Bruce Willis has a great little kid voice. Look Who's Talking Now wasn't as good but still funny.

I learned something from watching The Fourth Kind, Milla Jovovich is pronounced Yo-vovich, the "J" is pronounced as a "Y." The film was pretty freaky, Nicole was holding onto me tight and covered her eyes a couple times. They never really showed the Aliens though, they always were shadows or blurs or something you really couldn't see them. I like the movie Signs cause you actually got to see the Aliens. My opinion is wait for the DVD or go see the matinee for $7. I can't wait to see Sherlock Holmes, that looks awesome!!


It's about freaking time the Giants won a game. After 4 straight disappointing losses the Giants finally get a win. It was a nail biter 'til the end. They actually almost lost again with the Falcons coming back from 14 points down in the fourth quarter to tie it and send it into overtime. However Eli did what he does best and drive down the field for the victory, well a drive that ended with a Tynes field goal.

Now the Giants have a very short week because they have to play the Broncos on Thanksgiving. Denver has an unfair advantage being the home team, they get an extra day of practice and rest since the G-men have to travel on Wednesday. Let's hope this win against Atlanta sparks a big winning streak. Dallas almost lost to the Redskins but they had to go and score a touchdown in the last 3 minutes. A Dallas loss would of helped New York gain some ground.

It sucks that Antonio Pierce is out with a neck injury, he's like the Quarterback of the defense. Luckily Chase Blackburn filled in nicely for him today. For some reason the Giants are always flooded with injuries, especially on defense. I'm gonna use my excess football energy to play some Madden.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Waiting for.....

You know what sucks? I still have fucking dial-up!! It's like I'm still living in the 90's. Now I know I live in the woods but it's not the deep woods, I just have some trees surrounding the house, I do live off a main road. It's not like we are behind the times otherwise, we have flat screen tv's in the house, we all have cell phones, fairly new cars, and XBOX 360. But for some reason my mom doesn't care about the internet connection. She tells us that highspeed isn't available where we live.......... bullshit!! You're telling me in the year 2009 we are subjected to use dial-up? I need to talk to my congressman about this.

What sucks more is that for some reason it doesn't log on when it's raining. It's not like the phone goes out when it's raining. Stupid old technology. I feel like I'm the only one that still uses dial-up. Oh yeah I forgot, when the phone rings it kicks you off. I also can't watch any videos on my computer because they take too long to load, it will play like 5 seconds and then go back to buffering. I hate this computer!! It also has a ton of viruses on it so it runs extra slow. I'm lucky that I can access blogger on it. That's the main reason why I don't put any videos on my blog, I can't view them before I load them up.

If you are reading this and for some reason you still have dial-up let me know so I know I'm not the only one out there. Fuck all of you with highspeed internet, I hate you. I don't mean that, I'm sorry, don't leave me.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

From the Future Mrs....

I'm the ONE
Well, I'm the fiance of Powdered Toast Man...that's right...jealousy, I feel it all around. Well actually I'm just here to say a little something about my engagement to Jamie. We have been together for 2 years and to me it still feels like the very first time for everything. I got to say I was a little surprised that he popped the question when he did. I mean we have talked about it and we knew we wanted to be married but I didn't think he was going to do it as soon as he did after talking about it and picking out my ring. (BTW I love it and I have been getting compliments left and right).

I have been getting comments like "its too soon" and " your going to wait right". Maybe its because I'm not even 21 yet and its hard for people to believe that I found my soul-mate. That's exactly what he is to me. I know he probably doesn't believe me fully but I knew he was the one as soon as 2-3 months after dating. I don't feel I have to justify anything so I'm not going to.

I'm so excited to be the future Mrs Powdered Toast Man. I cant wait to start planning my wedding...the colors, dresses, flowers, music, cake, family...i want nothing more then to plan it now. I love that he wants to make this commitment and i cant wait till the day we are standing at the altar. Before when we were just talking about it i felt so close to him and so happy about what's going to come next. Now that its here I'm super anxious and even more in love with him which i didn't think i could be. I would do anything for him and its a nice feeling knowing i have someone that will do the same for me.


Monday, November 16, 2009

Is there a doctor in the house?

Why can't scientists just go and cure the common cold already? I'm sick of these damn sore throats!! I am just getting over a cold I had this week. By "getting over" I mean I still possess the illness but only show some of the symptoms. I have a nasty sore throat which is as dry as Barbara Bush's happy place. I have no lubrication in there (that's what she said!) Yeah I know that's played but I had to throw it in there. I also had a stuffed nose and chest congestion but that was tolerable. I don't get sick too often but when I do it hits me like a sack full of doorknobs.

The only reason I'm telling you I was and still am ill is because it's the reason for minimal posts this week. I have been delirious, mainly due to the Tylenol cold I was taking. That stuff made me pretty loopy, I thought I was drunk without the nausea and constant urge to pee. The damn day medicine made me tired and the night stuff kept me awake, I think someone screwed up in the factory. Luckily I don't think it's Swine Flu or Rhinoceros Flu or whatever animal Flu that is going around now. Another day or two and a couple more Vitamin C and I should be as good as used. (You might have to read that sentence again to get the punchline.)

Well it's 5:45 AM and I haven't gone to bed yet. I should get some rest, I have work and school all week. I just wanted to throw in a blog post before i hit the hay and so this be it I guess. Not a masterpiece but what is? Why does this seem like a diary now????? Note to self: Starting tomorrow, write better posts.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Clever Riddle

You are in a concrete room. There is a steel pipe 3 feet in length cemented into the center of the concrete floor. The pipe protrudes about 1 foot out of the floor. A ping-pong ball is dropped down the pipe. There is a fraction on an inch clearance between the ball and the pipe. Your task is to get the ping-pong ball out of the steel pipe undamaged. The only items that are available are a wooden ruler, a ball of string, a pocket mirror, a paper clip and a small magnet. Since nothing else is allowed into the room, how could you get the plastic ping-pong ball out of the steel pipe?


Thursday, November 12, 2009

Saved by the Nip/Tuck

Any Nip/Tuck fans out there? I love the show. It's packed with crazy freakin' shit. If you do watch it then you will know what I'm talking about in this post and if you don't watch it well go rent the first season right now but you will still find what I have to say interesting.

Starting this season Mario Lopez (from my childhood show Saved by the Bell) has joined the cast of plastic surgeons. If I was a girl, I'd do him.... hahaha. Anyway last week's episode starred an actress who looked familiar and was named Jenny Juggs because her boobs were size G!! She used her breasts to knock people out and break shit, like a pumpkin and a phone. After watching this chesty woman through half an episode I realized who it was, Jenny Juggs was Kiersten Warren who played Alex on Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

Mario and Kiersten reunited after 16 years. I kind of liked The College Years, not as good as the original but still had it's moments. The series only lasted '93-'94.
Now out of the original show I have seen the other actors and actresses in other films and tv shows in the past decade.

Mark Paul Gosselaar is on that show Raising the Bar. Tiffani-Amber Thiessen had her run on Beverly Hills 90210 and Just Shoot Me. Elizabeth Berkley was in Showgirls and had a small part in S. Darko (the Donnie Darko sequel, it sucked.) Lark Voorhies was in Def Jam's how to be a player and I know I've seen her in a few other things but can't remember. Mario Lopez has done the talk show thing and was Greg Louganis in that documentary. Now Dustin Diamond is kind of the one that fell off the map. I believe he was in the David Spade film, Dickie Roberts but other than that he has been under the radar.

Holy shit!! I totally forgot about Saved by the Bell: The New Class. I don't think I really watched that one. I looked it up on IMDB, it ran for 7 seasons and got a rating of 3.7!! Dustin Diamond was on that show with Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding) as the Dean's assistant or something. I also didn't realize that the original Saved by the Bell was only on for 4 years ('89-'93,) then came college. I thought it was on longer. Didn't they start in Jr. high and then high school? What happened to the other kids that didn't stay in the show in Miss Bliss' class? Ah the good old days with Saved by the Bell.....

Monday, November 9, 2009

Postgame Thoughts

Even though the Giants lost, I had a lot of fun at my first NFL football game yesterday. The Giants are playing better but still not up to snuff. Too many penalties and poor red zone offense. Once they get these problems under control they will make a come back and retake first place in the NFC East. Their bye comes at a crucial time, they need to go back and work on the basics. I could talk for hours on this subject but I had a different agenda for this post.

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of people go to sporting events for the concession stand. Way too many people getting up all the time to stuff their faces.........sit down and watch the damn game!!! I had to pee once I sat down 10 minutes before the game started and I didn't go to the bathroom until the middle of the 3rd quarter, I didn't want to miss anything. If you're spending $100 for a seat you might as well get your money's worth.

There was a couple next to us at the game that got up and left randomly for like 10-30 minutes at a time, where did they go and what the hell where they doing? People in general bother the shit out of me, I don't understand why people do what they do. Is it just me or do people's actions bother you too?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Some 'Cheese' on Google

It's definitely cool to see my blog in a google search. I wrote a post titled Dirty Mad Libs back on September 13 of this year and if you type in "dirty mad libs" into google my blog comes up in the top five! There seems to be a craze of people looking for mad libs that are dirty. I don't know if anyone is having fun with what I wrote because no one is leaving me love on it. I guess that's okay as long as I get traffic to this bad boy.

If you haven't read it here it is: DirtyMadLibs


I took this from my MENSA puzzle calender: Replace each letter below with the correct digit to make a correct multiplication problem. Each letter represents a different number.

x I

Saturday, November 7, 2009

NY Tix

Nicole got me Giants tickets for our anniversary and a Brandon Jacobs jersey. We are going tomorrow (Nov. 8th) for the game against the Chargers. I have never been to an NFL game before, I'm so excited!! Going to a football game is in my dream book. I didn't think I would be going anytime soon. We are also going to be doing a little tailgating before the game. I'm currently cooking up some BBQ and Buffalo chicken..... mmmm.

The G-men better play a good game tomorrow or I am not going to be a happy camper. Eli better step up his game and not throw any interceptions. I'd rather David Carr play instead of an unwary Manning. I'm predicting a rushing massacre against the Chargers, Jacobs is going to chew up that D-line. Giants need this win. I'm not sure who I want to win the Eagles/Cowboys game, I hate them both!! I hate tough decisions.

I finally did it!!

I haven't written much in the past week. I have been focusing a lot on my relationship with Nicole. It was our 2 year anniversary on Thursday, November 5th so we booked a hotel room in Fishkill for 2 nights for some much needed alone time. I bought a ring on Tuesday that she picked out about 2 months ago and I proposed on Thursday (she had no idea), she said yes, of course.

It was definitely an experience to buy an engagement ring and propose to the one I love. It was very scary, nerve racking and exciting all rolled up into one. I think my voice cracked when I asked her to marry me. She didn't believe me at first, she was like "are you serious?" I was a little thrown off guard and said "so is that a yes or no?" She started crying when she realized I was serious.

I'm still kind of shocked that I did it. I never really pictured myself proposing, not that I didn't want to, I just still think of myself as a young lad. I want to be a Toys 'R' Us kid but I guess it's time to grow up and do grown up things now. We haven't set a date yet. We want to wait until one of us is out of school, so probably another few years. We have been talking a lot lately about our future, getting married and having kids so it fit to give her a shiny ring.

The hotel we stayed at was a lot nicer than we expected. It was one of those extended stay deals with a kitchen. It was great to get some privacy since we both still live at home. It was very good times if you know what I mean (wink, wink.) I'm very happy, I have a fiancee now. I had to look that up, "fiance" is a man who is getting married and "fiancee" is a woman who is getting married. I didn't know there were 2 different spellings. You learn something new everyday.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


I know it's only a small step but I've surpassed the 1,000 visitor mark on my blog. I have only had my blog for 3 months now but I'm slowly making progress. It's all thanks to you so pat yourself on the back. I'll keep writing if you keep reading. Another achievement I recently hit was 100 posts. The new goal is 5,000 visitors. See you then.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Big Blue, where are you?

Somewhere along the way the Giants forgot how to play professional football. They are playing like the '08 Detroit Lions or the Detroit Lions of any year in the past 10 years for that matter. They are not the same team that started this season. What the fuck happened?

Their defense has been non-existent, teams are finding giant holes in their secondary and they are racking up too many points. I mean both Aaron Ross and Kenny Philips are injured but still that's no excuse. Also what happened to all the sacks this D-line usually gets on opposing QB's? They need Steve Spagnuolo back, he shouldn't of taken that Head Coach job for the Rams, they suck. He's better off coaching the Giants defense then the struggling Rams.

Eli is acting like an inexperienced rookie out there on the field. He is taking way too long before the snap changing up the plays trying to find the perfect one. He is always on the cusp of a delay of game penalty, he received 2 last week against the Cardinals. I'm not sure if him and his WR's aren't communicating but a lot of his passes have been way off mark and a lot have been overthrown. Maybe he should let that foot injury heal and have David Carr take half the snaps. I think they also need a veteran wide out to replace Burress and Toomer. Is Jerry Rice available?

The G-Men need their bye week right now. They need to regroup and watch the last 3 games on tape very closely. I have never been so pissed at their shitty performance. I found myself cursing at the tv yesterday at the Giants and I barely curse in real life. I wouldn't mind them losing if they at least put up a fight. Luckily there was an inkling of a comeback against the Eagles when they scored 10 points from the fumble and kick off recovery but that was short lived after the Eagles scored in the next 20 seconds. I figured they would run over the Eagles with Westbrook out with a concussion, I was dead wrong.

And to think I was going to write a post 3 weeks ago right before the Saints game on how awesome the Giants are that no one could stop them. I would look like a total asshole now. I might have to start rooting for the Raiders again soon, I used to be a fan of the black and silver pre-2002 season.

Tom Coughlin, give the Giants a stern talking to, make them stand in the corner and think about what they did wrong if you have to. Somebody has to start doing something right already.........WTF!!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Sorry guys. you're wrong

I like to give advice from time to time, when I have advice worth giving of course. Something, I'm sure many guys are aware of but still need reminding, is that the girlfriend is always right. Now in actuality us guys are usually right but that never works out in our favor. No matter what you are fighting about it's not worth it to be right. You just have to swallow your pride, bite the bullet and say five little words: "Honey you're right, I'm sorry." Girls, you're welcome. Maybe I just averted a few unnecessary fights.

Guys you have to pick your battles. In the long run there is no advantage to being right. Even if you are right, in her eyes you are still wrong and she is still mad at you. Now what do both sides really want? For the fight to be over so you can have some good make-up sex. Really the only reason to put in your two cents is if she cheated on you or something of that nature. But even then being right is still a bad thing.

Stop having stupid fights over meaningless shit. Who cares who is right, it is not worth the agony. As a guy this is really hard to do but we want to make our ladies happy and it's going to involve some sacrifice. Next time you are about to have a fight think about what you really gain for being right....... nothing!!

Joke with a twist

Joke: What do you put in a toaster?

Seems easy enough, right? You are probably thinking toast, well that is wrong. The answer is bread. Toast is what comes out of a toaster. It seemed so easy and then you blew it. Now you are probably going to use this joke on your significant other or little brother. Most people get it wrong unless they actually think for a second. Be sure to call someone a dumbass when they answer with toast. Have fun and don't forget where you got this lame joke.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Saw VI review

I have been waiting for this installment of the Saw movies since the last one disappointed me a little. This one was a tad in a half better than Saw V. The original Saw still trumps them all. Ever since they changed the policy on student discounts for the weekend I now go to the theater either on Sundays or Mondays. I don't have the same urge to go because I think everybody has seen the movie already and now my reviews are going to be written a few days later then I want them to be. Enough with my feelings on ticket prices, you started reading this for some sort of review. And we're off....

Saw VI basically starts off where the last one ends. If you still haven't seen the last one I will try not to ruin it for you. I think that Tobin Bell has some contract with the Saw films. Even though he died in the third one he still manages to make appearances with full dialogue, same for his helper chick (the girl from the show Becker.)

More and more pieces of the puzzle come together and loose ends are tied up. Remember the mystery chest from Saw V that Jigsaw's wife opened but we didn't get to see what was inside? Well they finally reveal the juicy secrets. The contents of the chest revealed that ................... yeah I'm going to be a douche and ruin the movie right here, what do you take me for anyway?

I'd have to say that this one didn't have as much gore as it's predecessors but maybe I'm just getting used to this gruesome shit. The main character is faced with more life altering decisions. The merry-go-shotgun was pretty screwed up, the one from the tv trailers. This review is going nowhere fast and I haven't even told you that much about the movie. Maybe that's what I meant to do so I don't spoil anything, yeah I'm gonna go with that reasoning. They are reviews you can't use, what did you expect?

It's definitely a fucked up movie. Who thinks of this crazy shit anyway? They must consult some serial murderers or they have some seriously disturbed writers on hand. I enjoyed this flick. 3.8/5 stars, don't ask me where I come up with my rating, it just happens.

Oh yeah, there might be a Saw VII.

Web surfing

If you are looking for random blogs to read check out

Monday, October 26, 2009

Nostalgia at it's best

Does everybody remember Celebrity Deathmatch? That show was awesome!! What ever happened to it anyway? I caught a marathon on MTV2 last night. In one of the fights Stone Cold Steve Austin killed Vince McMahon with a tombstone after of course he put him out with a stone cold stunner.

It would be cool if Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond were real people, they would make awesome hosts in real life. I thought that the show would make a good video game and I found it for PlayStation 2 but it kinda sucked. There were only a handful of characters and I never understood the controls. It was fun for a day then it got boring. I think I sold it on ebay. I love finding old tv shows. Good times, great oldies.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Sidewalk Etiquette

Society needs to adopt the laws of the sidewalk. People should learn some sidewalk etiquette. Here in America not only do we drive on the right side of the road but we also walk on the right side in general. I'm tired of walking at the mall or in an amusement park on the correct side and have people walking on the same side directly into me. They never move out of the way either. They end up bumping into you or you have to quickly go around them.

What I hate more is groups of people walking side by side with each other taking up the whole walkway. It's like they are the kick return wedge in a football game and I'm the kicker.

This happened to me last night at school when I was walking on the sidewalk along side of school. A mother and her 2 kids were walking towards me taking up the whole sidewalk, they didn't even move and I was forced onto the grass. Damn people have no respect these days.

If you find yourself in one of these situations, you have my permission to tackle somebody.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Who doesn't like a good Riddle?

You enter a cold, dark room holding one match. There is a candle, a gas lantern and a wood burning fireplace in the room. What do you light first?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

OCD much

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a chair or table I'm sitting at/on is wobbly. This is extremely annoying and if you are like me it bothers you to the bitter end. I am always finding myself shimming said chair or table to stop the wobbling. I learned about what shims are in construction. Normally they are a slender piece of wood that is used to make something level or flush.

I never have an actual shim handy so I use whatever is around me. In math class last night I folded up a piece of paper and stuck it under one of the legs of my desk to make it level. I had been sitting at this desk since the beginning of the semester and I couldn't stand it anymore. Problem solved for now, I just hope the paper shim is still there next class. So far; Jamie: one, desk: zero.

Just another Grievance

Blogging should be about your own ideas and thoughts. I have seen numerous blogs that just post a lot of youtube and music videos. I have a problem with these posts. It's lazy and unoriginal. People take the time to make their own video and certain bloggers are stealing their idea just to have people look at their blog. Anybody can just copy a link and post it. It takes some effort and creativity to make something worthwhile for others to read and comment on. You can't expect people to comment on your blog if you are just stealing other people's work. Now if you are posting your own youtube video then good for you and great promoting idea.

I am guilty of this myself but I think I have only one youtube video clip on my blog and it's a Jim Gaffigan stand up bit. I was just stealing someone else's stolen idea from Gaffigan but I didn't know where else to find the bit.

I take time and effort in coming up with my original posts. These are my ideas and thoughts. If you are going to post someone else's idea then at least write something about it. Tell us why you chose that video and give us some comments on it. There are too many lazy bloggers out there that are just looking for attention. You are ruining it for the rest of us. If you don't have any ideas for a few days then don't post some stupid crap just to post something.

Now there is a difference in posting just a random video with your own catchy title and posting a video because you want to discuss it. I respect people that want to write about something they found and are just using the video as visual evidence.

I know the point of blogging is to write about whatever you want but people need to be more original. I would hate to see blogging turn into just a different form of youtube. How do you feel about this subject?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Email Correction

Some fellow blogger recently informed me that my email was improperly stated. My email was listed as when it's actually I somehow forgot to put the "s" in reviews. The correct change has been made. I'm sorry for any inconvience this has caused to you, my readers. Please feel free to email me whenver you like. Thank you and have a pleasant and fun filled day.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Cutting hurts everyone

For some reason a cut version of Paranormal Activity has been released and is playing instead of the original. The cut version is missing a lot of scenes and it is way too short. I'm hearing from people that the cut version sucks. Why the hell would they do this? The movie was fine the way it was. Was it too scary? Were people actually shitting their pants? This is an outrage!! Well actually I don't care as much because I already saw the movie but it blows for everybody else that had their little heart set on seeing it. Try to find a theater that is still showing the original otherwise wait for a bootleg copy to fall into your hands.

Law Abiding Citizen

Law Abiding Citizen is a cinematic masterpiece. Okay I don't know if it is actually that but it is pretty awesome. My expectations weren't that high going into this flick because IMDB only had it as a 7.5 out of 10. I checked out the votes and some people actually gave it a 1 out of 10, freaking morons!! I would give it 5 out of 5 stars. It blew me away. Usually I can find something about a movie that I didn't like but not this one.

It has a phenomenal storyline and cast. Gerard Butler is really becoming a superb actor. I found myself rooting for him even though he turned out to be the bad guy. Jamie Foxx wasn't too shabby himself as he was trying to figure out Butler's mind games. The death scenes in this movie are crazy, shocking and a little gruesome. You are probably wondering how he continues to kill while he in locked up in prison. Well I would suggest getting to the theater as soon as possible before your friends ruin it for you. There is always that one dick of a friend that tells you the ending. Don't be that friend.

This movie really breaks down our justice system and how it's structure is corrupt and criminals aren't rightly prosecuted. Butler takes matters into his own hands as he takes revenge on his family's murderers and the people that didn't serve them justice. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see who Butler would kill next and how he would accomplish it. F. Gary Gray directs an action packed thrill ride of excitement. F. Gary Gray has another film coming out soon called Armored that looks pretty cool too. Don't wait for the dvd, go see it in the theater. My opinion matters.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Fancy Toilet

For some reason I was watching The Tyra Show and some woman was on talking about the new innovations in toilets. What could they add to a toilet that it doesn't already have, internet access? Well apparently there are some high tech toilets out there that make your porcelain bowl look like a shit bucket. In Japan they care a lot about their toilets. This woman from Toto Toilets was demonstrating the features of this high tech toilet. It had a motion sensor seat, night light and was even heated for those cold winter nights. To operate this bad boy there was a giant control panel that I guess would be installed on your wall. A control panel, really, for a toilet?

That's not all folks. Now the next feature is mostly for the ladies however it could work for guys. After you are done doing your business, with a push of a button a spraying wand comes out from under you to clean your private areas. Then after that a blow dryer to dry you off, no more wasting time with toilet paper.

Are we getting that lazy and spoiled as a society that we need fully automated toilets? Don't get me wrong I thought it was pretty cool but get this, it comes with a $5200 price tag. I'll spend 2 or 3 grand on a t.v. but not 5 grand on something that I shit in. Other features included music and sounds for more privacy to cover up when you're dropping a deuce.

I understand the concept, it's more sanitary because you are not actually touching the toilet with your hands and it's more convenient. I don't know about you but the toilet is the last thing I'm worrying about in my house. As long as it flushes, I'm good, if not I'm taking my business in the woods.

Who wants movie advice?

I created a movie advice column over a month ago thinking it would be fun to share my opinions with people. I wanted people to email a movie they wanted to see and I would give them my review on it. My review would be humorous, random and probably not as helpful as a real review but it would be entertaining. Unfortunately no one has bothered to shoot me an email. On the side bar of my blog on the left it shows my email address and short description of my advice idea.

I guess other people aren't into movies as much as I am. This blog was mainly going to be about movies but it contains mostly random ideas and thoughts instead. Do I have any movie buffs that read my blog? Be the first one to receive a zany, entertaining review from Powdered Toast Man. Someone needs to get the ball rolling. There might be a prize incentive involved.........

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Ooooo that smell, can't you smell that smell?

If you smelled really bad would you want someone to tell you? There is a new guy at work, let's call him Burt and he reeks of something fowl. I'm not sure if he doesn't believe in deodorant or he is coming from another job that requires him to bathe in fecal matter but he needs to take a long shower pronto. I had to work next to this man the other night and I could not stand his stench. I stayed as far away from him after I felt the nausea kick in. I can't pinpoint the smell but it kind of smells like really bad B.O. If by some miracle he reads this post I hope he gets my subtle hints.

On another unrelated note, do they make adult footsie pajamas? Remember the days when you sported the zip-up cloth body suit? I was told by somebody that they do make footsie pajamas for adults. Who is wearing these things? They cannot be fashionable although I would wear them around the house cause I'm always misplacing my slippers. I love slippers. They make boot slippers now. Need to get me a pair of those.

I have a somewhat good idea. The feet should be removable by like a zipper, snaps or velcro. I haven't figured out what would work the best though. I believe the zipper would be difficult and annoying and the velcro might lose it's stickiness after too many times through the wash. I think snaps would be the best option. I know my feet would probably get all hot and sweaty so I would need to give them some air by taking off the feet for a second. You can go and steal this idea if you want, I don't think it will actually catch on but if it does I get some of the profits.

These are things I think of when I'm at work to pass the time. My head is full of zany ideas. Let's make footsie pajamas happen for adults. To the drawing board!!

Here's a Joke

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Mr. Rabbit do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replies, "No I don't, Mr. Bear." So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

Paranormal Activity

Holy crap!! That movie gave me the heebie jeebies. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I went to see Paranormal Activity last night. I didn't know anything about it, my girlfriend Nicole wanted to see this flick. The closest theater it was playing in was at the Poughkeepsie Galleria, so we took the road trip up route 9. First we stopped off at Chili's across the street for my some dinner. We took advantage of the new 3 courses for $20 deal. Well worth it, I got the Cajun chicken pasta, which was delicious and Nicole got the buffalo chicken ranch sandwich, also delicious. Always a good time at Chili's (Chili's plug, I want a free dinner now.)

The movie had a Blair Witch feel to it. It was shot on a handheld camera by this dude Micah, weird name, I thought so too. The movie was basically a random series of paranormal events over a span of 2-3 weeks that happened to this couple Katie and Micah. She was being stalked her whole life by this spirit or haunting and he wanted to have proof on tape. Half of me thinks it could be true and the other half thinks it's Hollywood bullshit.
It was set up to be a true events type story. It scared the hell out of me. I can't stop thinking about what took place in that movie. The scenes just keep flashing through my mind. I checked the backseat of my car before I got in it and once again before I started driving. I got the Ghostbusters on speed dial if anything should go down.

I didn't believe in demons and ghosts before but I think I do now. I want to talk about a scene or two but I don't want to ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it yet. I'd be pissed if someone spoiled the movie for me, I won't be a hypocrite.....this time.
It's not playing in all theaters so you might have to do some research. I definitely recommend this one if you want to almost shit your pants. Nicole had a ninja death grip of my arm because she was so frightened. I'm not going to sleep anytime soon............fucking demon ghosts!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Riddle me this

There is a hole that is 3 feet wide, 4 feet long and
7 feet deep.
How much dirt is in the hole?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Wet & Shiny

I recently took a trip up to Fishkill to get my car washed at the Foam & Wash. It's a pretty sweet set up there if you haven't been. It's totally automated, no employees to annoy you. You just put in your cash like a vending machine or swipe your plastic and enter the bay at your own risk. There aren't even any stupid tracks you have to drive onto. Just some red and green lights to tell you when to halt or proceed. After the wash it's time to vacuum and shampoo the inside of your car. FANC-Y!

There are also 4 or 5 other bays with all the necessary equipment in case you want to manually wash your car. Lots of doodads and gizmos to play with, I used the foaming wheel and tire brush along with the high pressure water wand. Got the Monte Carlo all shined up and no place to go.

One thing I thought was kinda odd is that it's a 24 hour car wash. Tell me who is washing their car at 3 in the morning? Drug dealers that are also neat freaks? Out of all the things that could be open 24 hours a day, I don't think a car wash makes that list. Rarely do I get the urge to get my car wet at the late hours of the night, usually there is only one thing I urge to get wet........ if you catch my drift. Hell maybe that's the new hangout spot where all the cool kids go to smoke and freestyle. Did they get kicked out of the Shell station again?

I want to go up there at 2 or 3 am to see who is actually washing their car. I will interview them and make it the follow up to this post. Will hilarity ensue? Find out next time: same bat time, same bat channel.

Will the real Chuck Norris please stand up

For fun, type Find Chuck Norris into Google and click on "I'm feeling lucky."

And if for some reason you have been living in a cave for the past few years you should check out: ChuckNorrisFacts

Did Chuck Norris approve this stuff? If he did than he is more awesome than Walker Texas Ranger. Wait, Chuck didn't approve this post, will he find out about it? I'm kind of scared.............he's everywhere!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Don't put it off, procrastinate now

Ever find yourself wanting to accomplish something and you end up polishing off a bag of Doritos in your pajamas watching reruns of Seinfeld? It happens to the best and the worst of us, you know who you are. The easiest thing to do to fix this side affect is to create a 'to do' list. I know what you are thinking but you would be surprised how much you actually accomplish by using a 'to do' list.

I started using one when I had a sales job and I still use it. The worse thing you can do is compile your list in your head and not write anything down. Have you ever thought about what you need to do the next day before you go to bed and then you wake up and forget half of it? I highly recommend writing it down so it's there when you wake up. I use a white board so I can easily keep it updated. For awhile it was working and then I kept forgetting to look at it and I turned into a couch potato. Why is it called a couch potato? Is the potato the laziest vegetable? Why not couch asparagus or couch carrot? Does anyone know?

Back to my point....
To try and change my ways I kept erasing what I wrote and writing in different colors thinking this will make me look at it. It did work for awhile until I forgot about it again. I recently thought of a clever, simple solution. I put a check box next to all my 'to do' list items. When I accomplished something I could check it off instead of erasing it like I was doing. Seeing what I accomplished helped a lot and gave me a sense of satisfaction.

If you don't have a white board you can use index cards or one piece of paper that you carry everywhere. Don't use several scraps of paper, that's just stupid.Do your most unpleasant tasks first thing. Otherwise, they will occupy your mind most of the day and you won't be productive. I know this from experience, you end up putting it off and you tell yourself 'I'll do it tomorrow.' This brilliant idea never works out.

Create your 'to do' list today, it could change your life. That sounded cheesy. How about stop fucking procrastinating and just do something productive already, you lazy bastard!! Too harsh? Hmmmm....... Do whatever you want, I don't care what you do. That works.


Okay readers I'm going to be honest, I'm a little frustrated. I figured after 80 or so posts and over 400 visitors I would have more than 6 comments. Does anybody have any thoughts after they read my blog? Frankly I don't care if you think it sucks, I still want to hear about it. "You suck" comments are more entertaining but don't be a dick. I spend a decent amount of time coming up with interesting things to write about and I'm entitled to some feedback.

The whole point of this blog is for me to share my thoughts and ideas and for you as the reader to tell me what you honestly think, good or bad. Most of my comments are from my girlfriend and she doesn't even like that I have a blog. What do I need to write about to get some kind of reaction? I've read other blogs and I have seen numerous comments, so what gives?

Should I offer some prizes? Do you want to be entered in a raffle? I can't read your minds!! Even if for some reason you are pressed for time at least vote on the poll. I thought that would be an easier. lazier idea to get some feedback but apparently no one cares. Any ideas?

If you leave a comment I will send you some cookies.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Joke of the Week

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through
the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts."
The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot!
You're sitting on the mop bucket!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Send a friend big bouncy boobs day

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Is it Bologna or Boloney?

I have never understood the English language entirely. For instance who the hell decided on the spelling of words? Was it one guy or like a board meeting type of situation where everybody gives their idea and then it's voted on? One word I never understood especially when I was younger is "colonel." What happened to the "R?" Other words like bologna, knife, phlegm and cough. Why do we need silent letters in the first place, do they help us at all in school when we are learning how to read?

Okay Timmy spell the word 'knife.' Timmy sounds it out and says N-I-F-E. No Timmy I'm sorry but there is a 'K' at the beginning. What the fuck you talking about 'K' at the beginning? It's not KA-NIFE, who put that 'K' there? You're telling me the 'K' is silent? Oh like KFUCK YOU!!

How come we don't have silent letters in our names? I'm going to add a 'Z' in my name so it's JAMZIE now, don't forget that the 'Z' is silent. I have actually thought about this before but I forgot about it until I saw a Katt Williams stand up where he does an entertaining skit involving the pronunciation of words. I kind of stole it from him but I'm sure he won't sue, I'm not getting paid like he is. Also Jim Gaffigan does a small bit about it. I love Jim Gaffigan, I think he's hilarious, he talks about the most simplest things and makes them funny like hot pockets and bacon.

Maybe 'colonel' is spelled that way because we already have 'kernel' and nobody wants to be a 'kernel' in the armed forces.

Why can't words just be spelled the way they sound? I would really like to find out the back story on the spelling of these ridiculous words. The ironic thing is that I'm a stickler for spelling words correctly. I used to edit my texts so they the words were spelled right and it would bother me if I didn't do it. I'm better now but I'm still a little anal about it. You know what is bullshit, my Microsoft Word is screwed up and I can't use spell check on it. It sucks for doing school work, I have to email it to myself and spell check it at the library or Nicole's house.

Okay I have wandered away from the subject once again but that's what makes it interesting or something along those lines. Wherever I was going with this is now gone. I might write a follow up piece if I can remember what I was talking about. "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

NASCAR BEEF part deux

I decided to post my NASCAR beef post on this auto racing/nascar discussion site to see if I could ruffle a few feathers. And it worked, I got a few negative comments about my post from NASCAR fans and I am currently in a debate with this one dude. Here is the link:
I know, long name but amazing results. He has made a few good points but I think I one upped him on my last remark. I love messing with people, they get so emotional and into it like you are making fun of their child. I wonder how long I can keep fucking with this guy. I think I do make a good point with my NASCAR beef post. I'm not sure why I keep bothering to CAPS LOCK nascar, it's not that important.

What I don't get is that nascar is the most followed sport by a fan.....even bigger than football. People check on stats of the drivers and buy all the stupid nascar shit, what gives, what is wrong with this world? Am I offending anybody sporting a mullet yet? I hope Obama doesn't like nascar, my position on the subject would be futile. I guess I will wrap this up before it becomes a short story. Click on the link and read up if you haven't yet, it's good times.

Saturday, October 3, 2009



Son of a bitch.....

Who would of thunk it?

It's official, I've had over 200 visitors to my blog since I started it back in the beginning of August. It's exciting to know that people like what I have to talk about. Although I really don't know that for sure because no one wants to comment on anything I write. What do I have to do to get some love? I have a theory that people will only express what they have to say if the subject is controversial. I don't really write stuff that is sketchy at all, maybe I need to start talking shit. My subject matter is comical, random nonsense that I come up with spontaneously while taking a shower.

I also thought that putting a poll on my blog would help me find out what people like to read but I only got 6 votes. People apparently like to be anonymous and keep things to themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate people taking the time of their busy lives to check out my blog but it would be nice to get some feedback. I didn't start this post to complain like a bitch but that is what is has turned into for some reason. I just wanted to show some enthusiasm for my 200 visitors. That number is probably peanuts compared to the more reputable blogs but I'm still a rookie and have a lot of catching up to do.

I will probably wait til 500 or 1000 visitors before I declare that I am awesome. So tell your friends about 'Just the Cheese.' Tell strangers on the bus or on the line at Dunkin' Donuts, mention it to your grandma on the phone or to your gynecologist during a pap smear. Spread the word!!!

Okay maybe I'm being a little greedy and I am asking for too much but it's a free blog, I'm not getting paid for this shit.

Friday, October 2, 2009

For all you Madden fans....

I was down 21-10 at the end of the 3rd quarter. I was playing on All-Madden difficulty, I'm thinking to myself that I'm probably not going to win but I'll give it my best. So I score a touchdown in the first few seconds of the 4th quarter and go for 2; I get it, 21-18. I hold them on defense and get the ball back. I end up on the 2 yard line, 4th and inches with 2:30 left in the I go for it or kick the field goal? I played it safe and kicked for 3 points. Tie game!!

On the ensuing kickoff they return it for a touchdown, son of a bitch, 28-21 with 2:03 left. I unfortunately turn the ball over on downs with 1:37 left to play. They run the ball twice for 5 yards total and I burn 2 timeouts. It's 3rd and 5, they run and I tackle Willie Parker in the backfield for a loss, yes! but there is a penalty: offsides on one of my linebackers......first down. Three kneel downs and they win the game all thanks to an offsides penalty that was not my fault. I could of came back and tied it up for overtime. My first loss of the season.
I play as the Giants and I was playing the Steelers. I love Madden!!


You have 83 fish in your fish tank,
27 fish drown,
How many fish do you have left?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Don't @%&$ with Veterans

Now normally I don't blog about current events unless I'm involved in them but I heard something on the radio and I thought it was amusing.

A 21 year old dude went down to his local bar for a drink where a lot of the war veterans hang but forgot his ID. The bartender refused to serve him without identification which really pissed off this guy. As some sort of moronic revenge the man cut down the American flag from the VFW flagpole and set it ablaze.
The veterans in the bar at the time were not pleased at all. The veterans tracked this man down a few days later at a soccer game, confronted him and gave him three options: 1) They could turn him into the proper authorities, 2) Kick the crap out of him or 3) Duct tape him to a flagpole for 6 hours and hang a sign from his neck stating his crime. He decided on option number 3. After he served his punishment, the local VFW post commander said that he would never disrespect the flag again.

What a jackass!! I'm not really that patriotic and I would run off to Canada if there was a draft but I would never disgrace the American flag especially near the VFW hall. It would of been more embarrassing if he was taped tot he pole naked or in his briefs. It goes to show you how dumb the average person actually is.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

When you're bored...

I was just flipping through my phone and came across these pics.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Riddle Time

David's father has three sons. Their names are Snap, Crackle and _______?

Answer: Pop is the wrong answer. The answer is David...duh!

The Internet is Awesome

"Have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion."

I found this on texts from last night and thought I would share it. If you have never been to the site you should definitely check it out. It has some pretty funny and fucked up shit on it

Monday, September 28, 2009

Shallow Pockets

This semester I didn't have any money for books so I had to cash in a government bond that I've had since 1985. Damn crooks, jacking up the prices of textbooks that only change by a page every year. They need to be stopped!! If only we had real live superheroes........................or do we?

To the bat cave!!

Expect Shit

Nothing is 100% in life, anything can happen and probably will according to Murphy's Law: whatever can go wrong will go wrong. I have learned that everyday 50% of the things you do or plan will go wrong. You have to expect shit to happen in your life. You have to plan for things to go wrong so that when they do you are not surprised. I'm not saying to want things to go wrong but life is always throwing us curve balls and most of the time the sun is in our eyes. AND stop worrying about everything, that is going to get you nowhere. Worrying does not solve anything, it's like trying to solve a math problem by chewing bubble gum and it probably causes cancer.

If you expect and plan for obstacles in your life then it will be that much easier to conquer them. No one said life was easy and if they did well then they are an asshole. Life sucks and you have to make the most of it with the time you have. You can take this as advice or some sort of life lesson, frankly I don't care. I am just trying to educate the world one post at a time. I actually have no idea where I'm heading with this, I had a good idea and I hoped that it would lead somewhere as I typed but I'm drawing a blank. Give me a second..........

If I was to offer you one piece of advice it would be to wear sunscreen.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

"Driving" Me Crazy

What is the deal with MiniVans? They are either driving way too slow or they are speeding and tailgating on the highway. It has probably happened to you where you are driving on the parkway and a MiniVan comes flying up behind you and starts tailgating the shit out of your car. I have a theory about these MiniVans. I believe that the ones that are speeding are being driven by the husbands who hate having the Minivan so they decide to beat the hell out of them. Now the ones that drive like your 90 year old grandma are being driven by the soccer moms with too many kids.

This theory brings me to my original topic: People do not know how to drive anymore. Today's generation of motorists barely qualify as licensed pedestrians. I don't think anyone knows what the purpose of a turn signal really is or how long you should wait at a stop sign before proceeding. Now I am not a perfect driver, I break the law from time to time and account for my fair share of non-signaling and erratic behavior but I am far better than most of the jackasses out there.
I vote on implementing a new requirement for owning a driver's license. I believe that everyone should have to take a driver's test every 5 years (free of charge of course, the DMV gets too much of our money as it is.) This will hopefully weed out those who passed their first exam by accident. It's a miracle that certain people even received a license. This will also cut down on automobile accidents and breaking the law such as speeding and rolling through stop signs. I cannot stand the dumb asses that are out there on the asphalt. I just want to run them off the road and beat them with a sack of potatoes until they learn their lesson.
Let's drive safe out there............or do you like potatoes that much?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Surrogates review

Are there any students out there that use their student ID to get a discount at the movies? I am among those students. Once again the movie theater is trying to rape us with their so-called prices. For one the price for a student just went from $8 to $8.50 and now it's only valid Sunday through Thursday. That's right, you can't get a student discount on Fridays or Saturdays anymore folks. I, unfortunately had to learn this the hard way last night when I went to see Surrogates with Nicole.
This is an outrage!! I'm no longer going to the movies on Fridays, I am not paying full price anymore. I am organizing a worldwide boycott (well actually just the U.S.) of the theaters on Friday and Saturday, now who is with me? Anyone? Okay a one man boycott is not going to be as effective.

Enough ranting, I started this post to review Surrogates, let's get started.

I have been waiting for this movie for awhile, I saw the trailer for it like 3 months ago during Funny People I think. (If you haven't read my review of Funny People yet you should, it's my first post in August called Reviews you cant use .) No wait that's wrong, it was probably Public Enemies, I don't know, it's not important now. Any who, the film looked really cool and original and it had Bruce Willis in it (you can't go wrong with him.) I had high expectations for this one and it didn't quite meet them. The movie was good but it seemed like there was something missing, either it was too short or not enough action.

Is the future going to have robots that we control with our mind and go to work for us and do our errands? That would be awesome technology to have. However people would become a lot more lazy than they are now with their hover rounds and jazzys. In the movie 98% of the population used a surrogate. You never have to leave your house.....ever, it does everything for you. Even picks up the ladies for you and "entertains" them. Now you can get the basic model with just sight and sound or the fully loaded deal with all the senses, not too shabby. I wonder what the price tag on one of those bad boys is? I'm going to put a down payment on mine now....where did I put my checkbook?

I think my reviews are turning into crazy rants instead of actual reviews of the movies, whatever. I'm probably not going to get Roger Ebert's job anytime soon. You should still go see Surrogates anyway, it was very original and well because I said so, and that's good enough for me. I'm planning on seeing the new Michael Moore documentary/movie; Capitalism: A Love Story, so look forward to that review.

Next time you are at the concession stand at the theater order just the cheese, no nachos, just the cheese.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Joke of the Day

After 15 years in prison, a man escapes. He breaks into a house to look for money & guns but finds a young couple in bed. He snatches the man out of the bed ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and kisses her neck. Then he gets up & goes into the bathroom. The husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's a dangerous escaped convict! He probably hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants to Fuck You, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you or he might kill us. Be strong, honey. I Love You." The wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I LOVE YOU TOO!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Jurassic Park IV?!?

The one movie sequel that would be the best idea is probably not going to be made. The Jurassic Park 4 script has been written already but nothing has become of it. Steven Spielberg has been involved in this project but for some reason dropped it at some point. Jurassic Park and The Lost World were very good but they dropped the ball on the third one probably because it wasn't directed by Spielberg, it was directed by Joe Johnston. Jurassic Park 3 was too short and didn't have enough action, I think they rushed it. They need to finish off the series with a bang. Jurassic Park is one of the most original movies ever and a fourth installment, if done right, would be awesome.

I'm not sure where the movie would take place. Maybe on the first island again? Also who would the cast contain? I think they should bring back the grand kids as adults, that would connect to the original. They should get the original cast back together too: Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum. I really hope they decide to make this movie. I'm getting tired of pointless and crappy sequels. If Speilberg knows what's good for him he will direct Jurassic Park 4: The Extinction. Give me the damn script, I'll direct it if I have to.