Monday, November 18, 2019

Starting Something New




Image result for youtube





I decided to venture out of my comfort zone and start a YouTube channel. I can finally be one of the cool kids and sit in the back of the bus. It is essentially going to be an extension of my blog. It is called Reviews You Can't Use. I will be reviewing Pop Culture from the 80's, 90's and 2000's. I will also have random reviews about whatever pops into my head like giraffes or pumpkin pie. I plan on taking some content from here and also making some new stuff. It will be silly, funny and head scratching.

I will continue to post here as I normally do. I will still visit and comment on your blogs as I already do. I need to keep those creative juices flowing. You will finally see me as me instead of Powdered Toast Man. My name is Jamie, nice to make your acquaintance.

I have only posted two videos and they are kind of terrible but hey you gotta start somewhere. I reviewed Paw Patrol and The Goonies. If you frequent YouTube a lot or even a tiny amount, check me out. Hit me up with some love in the form of likes and comments. Subscribe if you want to see me make an ass of myself.

Click HERE to be transported my YouTube channel.

Thank you in advance for the support. Do any of you have channels?





Friday, November 15, 2019

Failed Marketing - Trampoline



Failed names:

Bouncematic

The Paralyzer

The Jump-Around

Boingity-Boing

Elastic Hammock

Sprungster

Tigger's Best Friend

Lawn Ruiner

Coil Up

Hoppin' High


Failed slogans:

You'll bounce so high you could grab a cloud

More fun than jumping on the bed

Who need s a pool when you can jump high

The Pogostick's worst enemy

Something even grandma can enjoy

Safe for the entire family

Now everyone can be a gymnast 






Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Today's Dad Jokes




Yo mam is so strong, The Rock calls her paper.


I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eye. Now I have Heinzsight.


Q: Why do dogs run in circles?

A: Because it is hard to run in squares


Sweden doesn't export its cattle because it wants to keep its Stockholm.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Unusually Great Words


I came across some unusual words. Some you may know but most of them you probably haven't heard of, until now.

Xertz

Kakorrhaphiophobia

Ulotrichous

Winklepicker

Tittynope

Yarborough

Quire

Nudiustertian

Jentacular

Impignorate

Halfpace

Agastopia

Scrumptious

Gobbledygook

Serendipity

Blogger doesn't believe most of these are actually words.


Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Dad Jokes of the Week




What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

 - Frostbite


What kind of animal meows and has eight legs?

- An octopuss


Have you heard of the famous composer who would only work from his bed?

- He made a lot of sheet music.

Friday, November 1, 2019

Reviews You Can't Use

 

RE-POST FROM 2011


Fast Five - I know I waited too long to review this one but I don’t care. Maybe my review will sway you to rent or buy the DVD. I didn’t get my hopes up in seeing this movie since it was the fifth movie of the Fast and Furious series. I have to say I was blown away. It is the best Fast & Furious since the original. Very action packed plus it had The Rock in it and how can you go wrong with that? I gotta tell ya, if I had a vagina I would get all hot and sweaty watching Vin Diesel and The Rock (or Dwayne Johnson for all you non wresting fans) duke it out. Maybe they have a kissing scene in the movie. You won’t know until you see it.

The Hangover: Part 2 – Obviously this one can’t match what the first one had but it was still pretty funny. I think a lot of people are being too critical of it. The only thing I didn’t like is that Justin Bartha got the short end of the stick again. They must have caught him stealing the boom mic or something. I heard they are already in the process of making The Hangover: Part 3. If they try the hangover plot again then it will suck. They need to do something totally different in order to be awesome.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides – Johnny Depp is always awesome in whatever he is in and you don’t have to see the first three to enjoy this one. As an added extra for the guys and lesbian, Penelope Cruz looks hot in it. See it, don’t see it, I’ll sleep at night either way.

Now what if Alan from The Hangover somehow stumbled upon The Black Pearl from Pirates of the Caribbean? This is how I think it would play out.

Jack Sparrow finds Alan sleeping in his bed, he nudges Alan with his boot.

Jack Sparrow: What is the meaning of this? Who are you?

Alan: (mumbling in his sleep) No, mom, I want scrambie eggs, not fried.

Jack kicks him harder and Alan falls out of the bed. Alan wakes up.

Alan: What? Where am I? What did you do with Phil?

Jack: You are aboard the Black Pearl. Who’s Phil?

Alan: Phil is one of my best friends. I’ll sing the song in a minute. What did you do with my pager? What if Phil was trying to get in touch with me?

Jack: I don’t understand what you are saying. How did you get aboard my ship and into my bed?

Alan: I don’t know. All I remember from last night was there was a lot of drinking and a monkey. Why are you dressed like a pirate? Are you in some sort of play?

Jack: I’m Jack Sparrow.

Alan: Who? Do you do Disney on ice too?

Jack: I am Jack Sparrow, Captain of the Black Pearl. He pulls out his sword for emphasis.

Alan: Cool sword, do they give that to you or do you have to buy it yourself? I have my own light saber but it’s at home.

Jack: Crew, tie this idiot to the main mast.

Alan: I get to be in the show? Thanks Pete.

Jack: My name is Jack, you idiot.

Alan: Sorry, Jack, I’m not good with names.

Jack: Never mind, don’t tie him up. Just toss him overboard. I can’t take another minute of his mouth.

Alan: Way to stay in character. You are a good actor. I tried to be an actor once, I went by the name Jonathon Bobbit but everyone always laughed when I told them my name so I never got any callbacks.

Jack: Throw him overboard before I stab him to death first.

The crew lifts Alan up and prepares to throw him overboard

Jack: Any last words?

Alan: Do you have a Jack in the Box around here? I’m starving.

Jack: Throw him over

To be continued….

Find out another week what happens to Alan.

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Not-so-well-known driving laws



You only need to stop for a full 3 seconds at a stop sign if there is a cop nearby.

Cutting someone off or tailgating is permitted if you are late for work or if you have to take a shit.

There is a limit on how many times you can flip people the bird within a week. That number is 3.

If you are over the age of 65 you are allowed to drive whatever speed limit you want.

Using your turn signal is optional if you are an asshole.

If you don't understand the personalized plates on the car in front of you, it is legal to ram them.

Speeding during a rain or snow storm is encouraged.

 It is illegal to park in front of a fire hydrant except on the 3rd Tuesday of the month, if it is raining and you are left handed.

Having a bumper sticker that read 'Proud parent of an honor roll student' will result in suspension of driver's license and 10 days in jail.

Between the hours of 2 am and 5 am red lights are optional.

Deer, cows and penguins have the right of way on all highways.

The only safe way to transport a mattress is tying it to the roof of your car with flimsy rope.

Speeding is legal if you just watched any of the Fast & Furious movies.

Having a blow-up doll or mannequin in your passenger seat does qualify you to use the carpool lane.