Friday, September 28, 2012

Rant and thou shall be saved

I have not ranted in a really long time. It is time to express my feelings about the annoying dumb asses of the world. I recently just moved to Connecticut from New York, about a month ago. I am not going to tell you what town/city because I have enough stalkers already and I cannot fit anymore into my busy schedule. Now I thought New York had terrible drivers, most of them speeding all the time and always in a rush. I have quickly learned that Connecticut has worse drivers. In the Connecticut driving manual there must not be a section on how to use a turn signal. I am almost certain that drivers in Connecticut don't even know they have a turn signal stalk attached to their steering wheel. I am just going to cut across three lanes of traffic and you will be notified exactly as I am doing it. And I am not talking about turns that are slow and you know they are turning. I am speaking of the ones that seem spontaneous and abrupt.

Besides not knowing how to operate a turn signal there are many motor vehicle operators that cut you off like they are in a hurry just to turn onto the next street. Wait your fucking turn!!! I am boggled by how much terrible driving goes on in Connecticut. I have said this before but I think that people should have to retake their driving test every 5 years. Maybe that would cut down on bad drivers. Driving gets so frustrated when you are surrounded by assholes. I apologize for this rant if you live in Connecticut and are a terrible driver.

On second thought fuck you if you live in Connecticut and are a terrible driver.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Simple & Fun Question Monday (on Tuesday)

Q: If you couldn't eat a certain food for the rest of your life would you give up chocolate or cheese?

Thursday, September 20, 2012

More Failed Slogans

Product slogans that didn't last that long. You probably don't even remember seeing them.

Heinz - "For the record, it's fucking pronounced KETCHUP not Catsup"

Netflix - "Going to the movies sucks, watch one at home"

Craftsman - "Don't let a woman touch these tools"

Hanes - "If only walking around in your underwear in public was acceptable"

Pizza Hut - "Made with 70% imitation cheese"

Maybelline - "If you are already ugly, our products won't help you"

Dannon - "We put the fruit on the bottom because we are lazy just like you"

Apple - "We could promote a cardboard phone and you would buy it"

Toyota - "Eli Manning is our sponsor because Peyton and Archie declined our offers"

Colgate - "For whiter teeth, go to the dentist"

Monday, September 17, 2012

Simple & Fun Question Monday

Q: What is your biggest goal in life?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Stay Tuned

I finally got my Internet installed this week. Been busy moving in and stuff. 'Just the Cheese' will be back to it's regularly scheduled program next week. Be careful if you plan to be on the edge of your seat.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

They Can Suck It

Nicole and I just moved this past weekend. Yay for us!! Unfortunately the cable company screwed me over with my installation date and I won't have internet access until next week. I had it scheduled for yesterday and somebody dropped the ball and entered the wrong date. Sons of bitches. I ordered them to not charge me for installation, we will see how that goes when I get the bill. I am writing this post from the library. I didn't have a library card so I flashed the clerk and she let me use the computer for an hour. What I am trying to say is no posts this week nor will I be able to read your blogs that I love so much. I will miss you all.

P.S. All the neighbors have their internet password protected if that is what you were thinking. I already tried that.