Monday, July 8, 2019

Where are they now? - Six Flags Old Man

Once in a while there will be an exciting spokesperson or mascot for a company that we all fall in love with, then suddenly they disappear and we forget about them. 

I have done previously posts about The Dunkin' Donuts "Time to make the donuts" guy and Wendy's "where's the beef" lady. Today, I am going to discuss the whereabouts of Danny Teeson, the Six Flags Old Man.

If you don't know who I am talking about then watch the Youtube clip. Okay even if you know who I am talking about you can watch the clip.

We all loved the Old Man (Danny Teeson) when he first appeared in the Six Flags commercials. He sure had the right kind of spunk and that tune was annoyingly catchy. 

Have you ever wondered what happened to him? Or maybe you just didn't realize he was gone. I did some research and found out some interesting tidbits. He is not really an old man. He is 22 years old and suffers from HGPS (Hutchinson-Gilford Progeria Syndrome) which is the rare disease that ages your body very rapidly. He has the body of a 91 year old man now.

I was visiting my Gamma in her assisted living community and I spotted him across the room eating tapioca pudding. I knew I recognized him but couldn't put my finger on it. After chatting with my Gam Gam I found out that she was having an affair with him and told me all about his disease. Even though he looks 91, he has the sex drive of an 18 year old. My Gamma is such a slut. 

I tried talking to him but he has a body guard. I attempted to get his attention by playing the Six Flags commercial on my phone. That was a terrible idea. The body guard snatched my phone and smashed it against the wall. So I stabbed him. I have to appear in court in 3 months, I am facing criminal assault charges. Any one know a good lawyer?