Right Turn Clyde

It has been awhile since I did any sort of crazy rant. Most of my rantings have been about driving and this one isn't any different. Why do people suck at driving? This is the question I pose at you.

Is it because I live in New York and there are more assholish drivers here? Why do people feel the need to ride my ass on some back road where the speed limit is 30 and I'm going 35? Nobody has any patience anymore. Where is every one headed in such a god damn hurry?

And for Pete's sake people, learn how to use a friggin' turn signal. Is it really that hard to flip a bar up or down? Is humanity this lazy or was nobody properly taught how to operate a motor vehicle with respect to others? If you are making a left turn, signaling 1.3 seconds before you do it is not enough time.

I wrote this in another post but there should be a law that requires you to retake your driver's test every 5-10 years or so to cut down on the amount of assholes out there.

It is getting to become a rarity that I come across courteous drivers. People are getting more and more selfish and inconsiderate of every one else. Did we not learn the Golden Rule in elementary school? This rule applies to every aspect of our lives.

Is this just me or does every state have this many dumbass drivers? Speak to me my fellow bloggers (I find it funny that Blogger underlines 'bloggers' as not being a word).

Shit Happens

I should of wrote this post on Monday but it's not time sensitive so I don't care that much. The reason I say this is because something happened over last weekend that should of sparked this post right away. I'll show you some pics first and you can imagine what could of happened.....

So my fiance Nicole and I were driving up to see my buddy Jon in Syracuse last Friday. We were about 75 miles away from his house on the Thruway around 6 o'clock with a decent amount of traffic around us. When out of nowhere there were 3 deer just chilling in the road like someone just dropped them off there. We were going 65 mph in the right lane so there wasn't much time to stop. We slammed on the brakes and swerved left (which in retrospect was probably a bad idea if there had been another car in the left lane.) Obviously we hit one of the damn things, we clipped it's ass and it did about $2000 worth of damage to Nicole's CR-V. I don't know what happened to the deer. He's probably in a wheel chair now with a broken coccyx (tail bone) and dislocated legs. I hope Bambi's cousin has health insurance.

I have no idea how we ended up hitting Bambi's cousin seeing how there were cars behind and in front of us and we were in the right lane. These deer were walking from the left side of the road and somehow maneuvered through traffic right in front of us. I think some guy with a tractor trailer is dropping off deer on the highway at random points, dude if you are reading this, you are an ASSHOLE!! The only good news is that the car was still drivable minus a headlight and part of the bumper.

A trooper stopped to help us and he was definitely related to Barney Fife and Gomer Pyle. He was dumb and didn't know what to do. He asked us if we wanted a police report. We asked him if we needed one and he said that he didn't know. What a jackass!

The kicker is we had just come from Mavis for 4 new tires and an alignment and now the car is going to be in the body shop for almost a month. Luckily there is collision on the car and Nicole gets to drive a 2009 Camry rental. That car is a smooth ride.

Deer are unavoidable, you are better off gunning for them and fucking them up as much as possible for being in your way. I have hit 3 in my life with 3 different vehicles. I'm going for the record. Anyone hit more than me?

Weird Laws

I downloaded this application on my Ipod called 'Weird Laws.' It is pretty amusing, there are some crazy laws out there in the states. There was one in Texas that struck me as the oddest one. Apparently a recently passed anticrime law in Texas requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

What kind of dumb ass criminal is actually going to do this? First of all the reason why they are criminals is because they don't obey the law. "Hello is this Mr. Smith, I'm just calling you to tell you that I plan on breaking into your house tomorrow and stealing some things, ok? thanks, bye." Them Texan law makers are pretty bright..........not!

AT&T versus Verizon

I have lost some respect for Luke Wilson. You are probably wondering what did he do? Well it's the new AT&T commercials that he has been doing lately. He states that AT&T has more coverage than Verizon, I beg to differ Luke. I have Verizon and I very rarely drop a call or don't have service somewhere.

That's the main reason for this post. In one of the commercials he talks about AT&T cell phone users being able to talk on the phone and surf the web at the same time and that Verizon doesn't have this feature. Why would you need to talk on the phone and go on the Internet with the same phone? Who is using this feature? The only time I would see this coming in handy is if you are talking about going to the movies or something and you need the show times. Do people really multitask this much and have that much ADD?

Is that the only thing that AT&T has over Verizon, a phone that lets you update your Facebook status while you are talking to your BFF? If I see someone using this feature on their phone I'm going to punch them in the kidney and throw their phone into traffic. Some technology we do not need. Stop pushing this on people Luke Wilson.

Want a free burial?

First off I just have to say WTF!! You will probably share the same feelings after you are done reading. There is a funeral home in Rome, Georgia offering a free burial to anyone that drinks and drives on New Year's and dies in doing so.

Apparently they are trying to raise awareness on the subject of drinking and driving but in the most unethical and fucked up way. First off to get the free burial you have to sign a contract that states that you promise to drink and drive during the holiday. Who is going to sign this dumb ass contract? It's probably some sort of sting operation and you will get arrested for conspiracy to commit drinking and driving or some crazy charge.

Now what if there are other victims in the drinking and driving accidents, are they covered under this contract? This doesn't seem like it should be legal. There is definitely some kind of law being broken here but it's in the south so probably not. If you can own a slave then you can do anything. I think George W. had something to do with this scheme. What is happening to this country?

How about you just do the old fashioned thing and have a designated driver or just sleep wherever you are going to be that night. Don't be that moron that thinks they can still drive perfect when they are drunk. Most of the idiots on the road can't even drive when they are sober. Let's be safe out there folks.

Waiting for.....

You know what sucks? I still have fucking dial-up!! It's like I'm still living in the 90's. Now I know I live in the woods but it's not the deep woods, I just have some trees surrounding the house, I do live off a main road. It's not like we are behind the times otherwise, we have flat screen tv's in the house, we all have cell phones, fairly new cars, and XBOX 360. But for some reason my mom doesn't care about the internet connection. She tells us that highspeed isn't available where we live.......... bullshit!! You're telling me in the year 2009 we are subjected to use dial-up? I need to talk to my congressman about this.

What sucks more is that for some reason it doesn't log on when it's raining. It's not like the phone goes out when it's raining. Stupid old technology. I feel like I'm the only one that still uses dial-up. Oh yeah I forgot, when the phone rings it kicks you off. I also can't watch any videos on my computer because they take too long to load, it will play like 5 seconds and then go back to buffering. I hate this computer!! It also has a ton of viruses on it so it runs extra slow. I'm lucky that I can access blogger on it. That's the main reason why I don't put any videos on my blog, I can't view them before I load them up.

If you are reading this and for some reason you still have dial-up let me know so I know I'm not the only one out there. Fuck all of you with highspeed internet, I hate you. I don't mean that, I'm sorry, don't leave me.

Big Blue, where are you?

Somewhere along the way the Giants forgot how to play professional football. They are playing like the '08 Detroit Lions or the Detroit Lions of any year in the past 10 years for that matter. They are not the same team that started this season. What the fuck happened?

Their defense has been non-existent, teams are finding giant holes in their secondary and they are racking up too many points. I mean both Aaron Ross and Kenny Philips are injured but still that's no excuse. Also what happened to all the sacks this D-line usually gets on opposing QB's? They need Steve Spagnuolo back, he shouldn't of taken that Head Coach job for the Rams, they suck. He's better off coaching the Giants defense then the struggling Rams.

Eli is acting like an inexperienced rookie out there on the field. He is taking way too long before the snap changing up the plays trying to find the perfect one. He is always on the cusp of a delay of game penalty, he received 2 last week against the Cardinals. I'm not sure if him and his WR's aren't communicating but a lot of his passes have been way off mark and a lot have been overthrown. Maybe he should let that foot injury heal and have David Carr take half the snaps. I think they also need a veteran wide out to replace Burress and Toomer. Is Jerry Rice available?

The G-Men need their bye week right now. They need to regroup and watch the last 3 games on tape very closely. I have never been so pissed at their shitty performance. I found myself cursing at the tv yesterday at the Giants and I barely curse in real life. I wouldn't mind them losing if they at least put up a fight. Luckily there was an inkling of a comeback against the Eagles when they scored 10 points from the fumble and kick off recovery but that was short lived after the Eagles scored in the next 20 seconds. I figured they would run over the Eagles with Westbrook out with a concussion, I was dead wrong.

And to think I was going to write a post 3 weeks ago right before the Saints game on how awesome the Giants are that no one could stop them. I would look like a total asshole now. I might have to start rooting for the Raiders again soon, I used to be a fan of the black and silver pre-2002 season.

Tom Coughlin, give the Giants a stern talking to, make them stand in the corner and think about what they did wrong if you have to. Somebody has to start doing something right already.........WTF!!