Thursday, August 19, 2010

Inside the Actor's Studio

We have a special treat for you today. First, I will be filling in for James Lipton, he has come down with a bad case of Pacaderm flu. Second, today on the show we have a special guest. Wile E. Coyote has dropped by to give us a look inside his real life.

PTM (Powdered Toast Man): First off, I want to thank you ahead of time for taking some time out of your busy life to talk to us about the real you.

Wile E Coyote: Not at all my good sir, not at all. Glad to be a part of such an illustrious tradition.

PTM: My first question I know is on every one's mind. What does the "E" stand for in Wile E. Coyote?

Wile E. Coyote: It doesn't. That is to say, it doesn't stand for anything. Wile is a common coyote name. When I first started out in the business, Hollywood was flooded with so many other coyotes that you had to find a way to stand out. That E got me my first job.

PTM: Interesting., I thought it stood for Egbert. What is your life like when you aren't chasing the Road Runner?

Wile E. Coyote: I'm chasing down life. Last year I participated in a triathlon. I was the oldest contestant there. Sure I only placed fourth, but it's not about winning, it's about giving what you've got and enjoying what you're given.

PTM: Good for you. Do you have any kids?

Wile E. Coyote: [smiling] I'm proud to say that I am the father of 3 wonderful kids. I also have 16 grandchildren and 31 great grand children. It was 32 but my son mistook one of the children late at night for a pot roast and devoured it.

PTM: I'm sure that kid tasted like pot roast. Are you friends with Road Runner off the set?

Wile E. Coyote: That depends on which one you mean. In all there have been 7 Road Runners. I was close to the original till he died last year. The other 6... well maybe the last one. The rest though were royal pricks.

PTM: I had no idea, they all looked the same to me. Do you do your own stunts? If yes, have you ever gotten hurt?

Wile E. Coyote: Yes and yes. You may remember about 20 years back I won that lawsuit against Acme after nearly killing myself with their rocket roller skates. We wrote the scene where I slam into the wall, into the script. But that shot was real, as was the pain.

PTM: I ordered those skates once, they were hard to use and there was no instruction manual. If you could make a career change right now, what would you do?

Wile E. Coyote: At this age my next move is to retire [laughs] but I'll tell you, when I was a young pup I considered becoming a chef. I was vegan before anyone knew what that meant. I think I could have revolutionized the world of professional cuisine.

PTM: A vegan coyote? Now I've heard everything. I heard a rumor that your wife had an affair with Foghorn Leghorn, is that true?

Wile E. Coyote: [looking wistfully towards the stage lights] Claire was always looking for something. When she couldn't find it with me, she looked elsewhere. I haven't seen her in a few years now. I just hope she found whatever she was looking for.

PTM: That's sad, I would of eaten that over sized rooster. Do you get tired of chasing that Road Runner? Do you wish that they would just end it and let you catch him?

Wile E. Coyote: No, not all. Everyone knows people lose interest in a show when something actually happens. It's all about the tease.

PTM: Like how Trix Rabbit doesn't get the cereal. This last question is from one of our audience members, Gayle Prudent from High Ridge, Colorado writes: I love you Wile, you are the reason why I became an Ostrich farmer. My question is, how do you feel about Linda McMahon running for senator of Connecticut?

Wile E. Coyote: What does it matter? Everyone knows the senate is fake. Real politics happen in the house.

PTM: Well said sir. Well that's all the time we have today.I want to thank Wile for sitting down with us today and also for not eating any of my camera men.

Wile E. Coyote was played by T.S from The Non-Review, he also came up with the idea of it being "Inside the Actor's Studio". I (PTM) came up with the questions. I am sure you all follow T.S. by now but go give him some love anyway but first give me some love.

If you haven't yet go vote on the 3rd round of the battle of the cereal mascots. Polls close on Sunday at 11:59pm.

Something else to enjoy.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'll never look at Wile the same way again...

Copyboy said...

7 RRs? Amazing. Glad you filled in for James to ask the tough questions.

TS Hendrik said...

Thanks again man, that was a lot of fun.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Glad to be here. That was hilarious! As I write this I am looking at a coffee mug in the shape of Wile E's head that my husband uses for his pens and spare change. I guess Wile E is also building a huge merchandising empire. Do you think he'll come out with a clothing line or maybe poultry marinade? - G

Pat Tillett said...

That was funny guys!
I'm glad to see Wile E Coyote managed to keep such a good attitude.
I loved the cartoon! Poor guy...

The Invisible Seductress said...

I now would like to have a moment of silence for the dead Road Runner...

Don't you people even care?? This is devastating news!!

Marlene said...

I wish he'd eaten Foghorn Leghorn, too.....dang rooster drives me nuts with his drivel.

Daisygirl said...

Interesting interview! Seriously I think you have too much time on your hands ;)

Cheeseboy said...

Now that was flat out awesome.

"I'm chasing down life." So metaphorical, so deep.

m. said...

how very, very fun.
what an excellent idea. said...

I didn't take that Wile E. for such a smart guy. He sounds like a mensa coyote E to me E.