Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Battle of the Cereal Mascots: Round 3

It seems as though Lucky isn't that lucky after all. The Trix Rabbit kicked the ever-loving snot out of that leprechaun. The match was over before it even got started. The Rabbit figured he now has the rights to Lucky's gold but luckily before the match Lucky said that if he died his gold would be donated to Wesley Snipes, to help him with his taxes.

Today's battle is brought to you by the symbol "^". In the red corner weighing in at 63 pounds from Kellogg's Froot Loops, Toucan Sam. In the turquoise with a hint of yellow corner weighing in at 42 pounds, from Kellogg's Smacks, Dig 'Em Frog.

Before the fight I had our combatants interview me in the locker room.



Toucan Sam: So why am I interviewing you?
PTM: Do you want to get paid for this fight or not? Just do the interview.
Toucan Sam: This microphone smells funny.
PTM: That's not a microphone, that's a hairbrush. Did you graduate High School?
Toucan Sam: No, I dropped out in the sixth grade.
PTM: That explains a lot. Just pick up the microphone and ask me at least one question, we don't have a lot of time.
Toucan Sam: Why did Julianne Moore play Clarice Starling in Hannibal and not Jodie Foster?
PTM: I think it's because Anthony Hopkins gave Jodie Foster crabs.




Dig 'Em: How did the interview go with Toucan?
PTM: He's a moron. I hope you can do better.
Dig 'Em: Am I invited to your wedding?
PTM: Why would you be? This is the first time we have met.
Dig 'Em: I never get invited to weddings. I bet you would invite me if I was Tony the Tiger.
PTM: But you're not Tony the Tiger, so deal with it. Next question.
Dig 'Em: Why did Julianne Moore play Clarice Starling in ....
PTM: Toucan already asked that question. Are you f@cking with me?
Dig 'Em: Toucan put me up to it. He didn't know if you meant the actual crustacean or the STD.
PTM: I need to lay down.

There you have it fans. Pick your poison, either a frog on speed or a coked-up bird. The polls close on Sunday at 11:59. Anyone trying to rig the votes will be tar and feathered. Come back next Tuesday for the final opening round between........

15 comments:

The Invisible Seductress said...

TOUCAN!!!!!!

Steve G. said...

I think you need a picture of the giant gold Dig 'Em statue that Adam West buys for the town in Family Guy.

TS Hendrik said...

Well, I would have gone with toucan Sam but after reading the interviews I feel that Dig 'em clearly deserves this win. He's the got the nicest disposition of any of the characters yet.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think Sam would just eat the frog and be done with it!

Marlene said...

I pick the coked up bird!! I LOVED Froot Loops as a kid! The bird gets it! :)

Geof said...

Dig 'Em! Even though I like Fruit Loops as a cereal better, Sam is an uppity mofo who looks his NOSE down on everyone. Oh yes, I went there.

Link from ETMC is live!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Fruit Loops leaves the milk a warped pinkish-yellowy faded out color. Dig 'em leaves the milk a little sweeter, with the perfect brown sugary hue. The little green frog gets my vote.
xoRobyn

Monkey Migraine said...

I give it to Toucan Sam. Dig'em is a wigga poser. Besides, he couldn't keep them from re-naming his cereal Honey Smacks instead of Sugar Smacks. I say Dig'em kicks Toucan Sam around with his powerful frog legs, but then Toucan's bratty nephews start playing Eminem and Dig'em gets distracted. That's when Toucan beats Dig'em to death with his huge beak

Copyboy said...

Go on! Kick some toucass! D'E.

Michael Jones said...

Toucan can can-can, can you? Dig'em...bury'em.

Hart Johnson said...

Toucan Sam!!!!!! That frog always bugged me, probably because I hated the cereal, but hey... I am permitted my biases.

M.J. Nicholls said...

Being a Brit, these references confuse me. Over hear we have Tony the Tiger (Frosties), the Coco Pops monkey and the Corn Flakes rooster. We are pansies, Mr. Cheese. Pansies!

M.J. Nicholls said...

*here

Ian said...

Toucan Sam FTW

Reputation@Stake said...

I don't know if I'm allowed to vote, since I am an employee of the symbol "^". Conflict of interests? I don't know, but no one has stopped me from commenting thus far, so I vote for--

...ack!...
CRASH
...ugh!...
help! help! I'm being repressed!...
BAM
...they're...choking...me...
...
Sam...
...