Today's battle is brought to you by the symbol "^". In the red corner weighing in at 63 pounds from Kellogg's Froot Loops, Toucan Sam. In the turquoise with a hint of yellow corner weighing in at 42 pounds, from Kellogg's Smacks, Dig 'Em Frog.
Before the fight I had our combatants interview me in the locker room.
Toucan Sam: So why am I interviewing you?
PTM: Do you want to get paid for this fight or not? Just do the interview.
Toucan Sam: This microphone smells funny.
PTM: That's not a microphone, that's a hairbrush. Did you graduate High School?
Toucan Sam: No, I dropped out in the sixth grade.
PTM: That explains a lot. Just pick up the microphone and ask me at least one question, we don't have a lot of time.
Toucan Sam: Why did Julianne Moore play Clarice Starling in Hannibal and not Jodie Foster?
PTM: I think it's because Anthony Hopkins gave Jodie Foster crabs.
PTM: Do you want to get paid for this fight or not? Just do the interview.
Toucan Sam: This microphone smells funny.
PTM: That's not a microphone, that's a hairbrush. Did you graduate High School?
Toucan Sam: No, I dropped out in the sixth grade.
PTM: That explains a lot. Just pick up the microphone and ask me at least one question, we don't have a lot of time.
Toucan Sam: Why did Julianne Moore play Clarice Starling in Hannibal and not Jodie Foster?
PTM: I think it's because Anthony Hopkins gave Jodie Foster crabs.
Dig 'Em: How did the interview go with Toucan?
PTM: He's a moron. I hope you can do better.
Dig 'Em: Am I invited to your wedding?
PTM: Why would you be? This is the first time we have met.
Dig 'Em: I never get invited to weddings. I bet you would invite me if I was Tony the Tiger.
PTM: But you're not Tony the Tiger, so deal with it. Next question.
Dig 'Em: Why did Julianne Moore play Clarice Starling in ....
PTM: Toucan already asked that question. Are you f@cking with me?
Dig 'Em: Toucan put me up to it. He didn't know if you meant the actual crustacean or the STD.
PTM: I need to lay down.
PTM: He's a moron. I hope you can do better.
Dig 'Em: Am I invited to your wedding?
PTM: Why would you be? This is the first time we have met.
Dig 'Em: I never get invited to weddings. I bet you would invite me if I was Tony the Tiger.
PTM: But you're not Tony the Tiger, so deal with it. Next question.
Dig 'Em: Why did Julianne Moore play Clarice Starling in ....
PTM: Toucan already asked that question. Are you f@cking with me?
Dig 'Em: Toucan put me up to it. He didn't know if you meant the actual crustacean or the STD.
PTM: I need to lay down.
There you have it fans. Pick your poison, either a frog on speed or a coked-up bird. The polls close on Sunday at 11:59. Anyone trying to rig the votes will be tar and feathered. Come back next Tuesday for the final opening round between........
15 comments:
TOUCAN!!!!!!
I think you need a picture of the giant gold Dig 'Em statue that Adam West buys for the town in Family Guy.
Well, I would have gone with toucan Sam but after reading the interviews I feel that Dig 'em clearly deserves this win. He's the got the nicest disposition of any of the characters yet.
I think Sam would just eat the frog and be done with it!
I pick the coked up bird!! I LOVED Froot Loops as a kid! The bird gets it! :)
Dig 'Em! Even though I like Fruit Loops as a cereal better, Sam is an uppity mofo who looks his NOSE down on everyone. Oh yes, I went there.
Link from ETMC is live!
Fruit Loops leaves the milk a warped pinkish-yellowy faded out color. Dig 'em leaves the milk a little sweeter, with the perfect brown sugary hue. The little green frog gets my vote.
xoRobyn
I give it to Toucan Sam. Dig'em is a wigga poser. Besides, he couldn't keep them from re-naming his cereal Honey Smacks instead of Sugar Smacks. I say Dig'em kicks Toucan Sam around with his powerful frog legs, but then Toucan's bratty nephews start playing Eminem and Dig'em gets distracted. That's when Toucan beats Dig'em to death with his huge beak
Go on! Kick some toucass! D'E.
Toucan can can-can, can you? Dig'em...bury'em.
Toucan Sam!!!!!! That frog always bugged me, probably because I hated the cereal, but hey... I am permitted my biases.
Being a Brit, these references confuse me. Over hear we have Tony the Tiger (Frosties), the Coco Pops monkey and the Corn Flakes rooster. We are pansies, Mr. Cheese. Pansies!
*here
Toucan Sam FTW
I don't know if I'm allowed to vote, since I am an employee of the symbol "^". Conflict of interests? I don't know, but no one has stopped me from commenting thus far, so I vote for--
...ack!...
CRASH
...ugh!...
help! help! I'm being repressed!...
BAM
...they're...choking...me...
...
Sam...
...
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