Today's battle is going to be an epic one, one for the ages, for the books (which books I'm not sure but they will be written down in something, maybe your diary) one you will surely not forget. Fighting today are Tony the Tiger and Cap'n Crunch.
Our combatants were really talking trash in the locker room so I let them interview each other. I hope they can keep their cool during the interview. I will listen in.
Cap'n: What is the capital of Uruguay?
Tony: What? I don't know. Why are you asking me that?
Cap'n: Just curious to see how smart you are.
Tony: I'm smart enough to know not to wear a pirate costume in public (snickering).
Cap'n: I'm under contract, I have to wear this ridiculous thing wherever I go.
Tony: Watch what you say man, you don't want to piss off your sponsors.
Cap'n: F@ck, Sh#t, God dammit, Motherf%cker!!
Tony: Whoa buddy, you curse like a pirate. Oh, wait...
Cap'n: Between you, me and that camera man, I don't even like the taste of Cap'n Crunch cereal. It tastes like Count Chocula's arm pits on a hot summer day.
Tony: That's Grrrrrross!
Tony: Why do we have to do another interview, I thought we just did one?
Cap'n: That was me interviewing you, now you have to interview me.
Tony: Who says?
Cap'n: Powdered Toast Man said.
Tony: Who the hell is he?
Cap'n: That tall dude that has a piece of toast for a head.
Tony: That douche?!?! Who put him in charge?
Cap'n: I think he owns this place but I also saw him cleaning the men's bathroom so I'm not sure.
Tony: Well I don't like him. Let's kick his powdery ass after our fight.
Cap'n: I think you might need to go to anger management. There are people that can help you there.
Tony: Looks who's talking, wife beater.
Cap'n: That's it, it's go time!!
Powerful stuff. I better go hide at my hotel room and watch the fight on TV, I'm no match for a pirate and a tiger. Vote now or forever regret that you didn't vote. Polls close on Sunday at 11:59pm. Next Tuesday I will reveal the winner and our next two combatants for the semi-finals.