Thursday, September 30, 2010

Rare Interview

I have here today two special guests. Henry Thomas and E.T. from the classic movie E.T.: the Extra-Terrestrial are in the studio today. Henry played the main character Elliot and E.T. well played you know. I sat down with these two and asked them some questions.

PTM: Welcome fellas, glad to have you in the studio today.
Henry: No problem PTM.
E.T.: E-l-l-i-o-t
Henry: Dude, stop calling me that. That was my character's name. It's been 28 years already, it's played out. Enough is enough.
PTM: I see that there is so animosity between you two.
Henry: Sorry but he is still living in the past. I know that E.T. was a great movie but I have done a lot of other things since 1982.
E.T.: Points glowing finger at Henry.
Henry: Do not touch me with that thing. I don't know where it has been. I'm pretty sure you have alien finger herpes.
PTM: Don't you think you are being a little hard on him?
Henry: No, he does this all the time. I can't go anywhere without him acting like this.
PTM: You two are still close?
Henry: Unfortunately yes.  I ran into him on the street one day, he was homeless so I did the humane thing and let him stay with me until he got back on his feet. That was three years ago.
PTM: So E.T., why haven't you been able to get back on your feet yet?
E.T.: E.T. phone home.
PTM: Do you need to make a call? We are in the middle of our interview.
Henry: Don't play into his mind games. He likes to annoy me by slipping into his E.T. character.
PTM: Do either of you keep in touch with Drew Barrymore?
Henry: We get together a few times a year to catch up on old times and what's new. Drew has a restraining order against bozo here. He's not allowed within 250 feet of her. He got a little too touchy-feely during a cast reunion 5 years ago. It's sad really.
PTM: I never heard about any of this. They must have kept in under wraps.
Henry: Yeah, Steven Spielberg didn't want the press to catch wind of it and have his movie tarnished at all. Frankly I don't give a shit anymore. I'm tired of this bum.
PTM: E.T., do you have anything to say to Henry? He seems to have a real problem with you.
E.T.: FUCK YOU HENRY!!
Henry: Fuck me? Why don't you go probe yourself, you piece of shit.
PTM: Whoa, watch the language, this is a family show
Henry jumps out of his chair and dropkicks E.T. to the floor.
PTM: Well that is all the time we have for our show. Tune in next time to see who we will have next.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Calculator Fun

Remember when you learned this stuff in middle school? It was like the coolest thing to find out you could do this on a calculator. Now you may have learned it a different way but this is how I remember it....
There is one girl, she is sixteen and she sixty-nined a guy three times in a row. What is she?



x 3 =




She is LOOSE!!! (35007 upside down, 11669 times 3)

There is another one....
Try this on your calculator, not your cell phone calculator, you need a real calculator. Find the big ass one you used for school.
There are 29,004 women times 2 equals what?
(flip the calculator upside down)
The answer is 58,008 boobs!!


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hooray for the Weiners...... I Mean Winners!!!

I have the Trivia Corner winners and the cereal mascot battle winner to announce.

In a surprising twist of events, Dawn, a.k.a. Baygirl32, a.k.a. Miss Maple Syrup (okay I might have made that last one up) fought tooth and nail and tied Pat Tillett for first place in Trivia Corner. I did not see this coming, I mean what are the chances? Any statisticians out there? If you figure out the odds, let me know by carrier pigeon. If you want the answers to the last round tell me in your comment.

I had stated in the rules of the game that the first place winner could choose between a guest post or for me to write a post about them. The second place winner would then be left with what the first place winner didn't pick. Since they both tied for first place I will let them both choose from either option. See what a nice guy I am? Don't believe what my Grandma tells you, she's just mad that she didn't win. So Pat and Dawn, you get to choose either a guest post here on JTC or for me to write a post about you and your blog (I would choose the guest post cuz I don't wanna write anything about either of you....lol). I want to give a shout out to RawknRobyn for trying her best, she might not have gotten a lot of answers right but I'll give her a pack of pretzel m&m's for effort.

Here are the final Trivia Corner Standings:

Rank............................. Points

1. Pat Tillett.................. 143
2. Baygirl32 ................... 143
3. Chuck ........................ 92
4.Geof............................79
5. Marlene ..................... 44
6. Nippy ......................... 42
7. Guilty of Gossip............ 32
8. RawknRobyn .................22
9. Ian ...............................10
10.
Cruella Collett.............. 5
11. Copyboy......................... 1
12.
Sara Beth...................... 1
13.
Jana................... 'A' for effort


I know that most of you have been waiting on the results of the final cereal mascot battle between Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam. Well, wait no more, I will tell you the winner after a message from our sponsors. What, we don't have any sponsors? Then who is funding this thing? It's free? Then who is sending me those paychecks? I need to get to the bottom of this. Oh yeah I was about to tell you who won the mascot battle.

That final round was a nail-biter. I tallied up all the votes and it was tied. That can't happen, I don't have a tie-breaker system. I looked over the votes again and realized that there was a late ballot for Tony on Monday, the polls closed on Sunday. So if you haven't put 2 and 2 together (you must have ridden the short bus to school and maybe to work), the winner of the cereal mascot battle is Toucan Sam!!! The parade will be next week, it will circle Tony the Tiger's block. Thanks to everyone that voted and participated. Toucan Sam couldn't of won without you. That's not true, he could of bribed me with tickets to The Price is Right but only if Bob Barker is guest hosting.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A Little Somethin' Somethin'

I am way behind in my blog writing and reading. Since I started school this semester my sleep and blog schedule have totally changed. I haven't adjusted to it all the way yet. I am also sick this week which doesn't help with the creative juices. I meant to post the trivia corner winners and the cereal mascot winner today but didn't have the time to write what I wanted. I will get those up tomorrow hopefully.

I'm still here, just busier than before. I will catch up sooner or later. Thanks for being patient.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Top 10 TV Shows Blogfest



Alex at Alex J. Cavanaugh has come up with another awesome blogfest. I loved the last dirty dozen movie blogfest so I jumped right on board with this one. If you haven't signed up yet or have no idea what this blogfest is about, go visit Alex's blog. Now let's get down to brass tax.

In no particular order.

Friends
- This is by far my favorite show. It is one of the few I followed from the beginning. I watch reruns almost everyday on TBS. I still haven't gotten around to getting the entire show on DVD.

Seinfeld - I just love the stupid humor of this show. I find you either love or hate this show.

The King of Queens - I think I might have a thing for Jerry Stiller.

Scrubs - The Janitor is my favorite character.

That 70's Show - This is before I thought Ashton Kutcher was a douche.

The Price is Right - Bob Barker is the only host in my mind.

Family Guy - I don't think I have to say anything about this show. Sooo funny.

House, M.D. - I am behind a season but thanks to Netflix I'm catching up. I hope there is a real Gregory House in real life.

Nip/Tuck - My sister got me addicted to this show. Every episode was crazy. They could of done another season.

Still Standing - You can't go wrong with family humor and Jami Gertz as the hot mom. They canceled this show way too fast. Then they stopped showing reruns. Damn somebody!!

So there is my list, short and sweet. Now go make your own if you haven't yet.

Trivia Corner #10: FINAL ROUND

This is the last round folks, it is for all the marbles and let me tell you they are some shiny marbles. Now, fight to the death. I am extending this round until Wednesday morning.

There will be 2 winners this series. The first place winner will get to choose whether they would like to guest post here on 'Just the Cheese' or have me write a post just about them and their blog. The second place winner will receive what the first place winner doesn't pick.

RULES: The rules are very simple. Try not to use the Internet, these questions are to test your knowledge of useless information. Please DO NOT leave your answers in a comment. Let everyone playing have a fair shot at answering them. I WILL ONLY accept answers in the form of an email. Email your answers to reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com. Let's have some fun out there.

1) What year is it on the Jewish calendar? (1 point)

a) 5771
b) 4226
c) 5094
d) 2010
e) 4858


2)When it comes to animals, what are the addax, bongo, puku, and lizard? (2 points)

3) What was the original name of the popular dice game Yahtzee? (3 points)

4) What actor has won three Oscars, all of them for films for which his leading lady won Best Actress honors? (4 points)

5) What TV canine, with the help of a TV writer, pawed an autobiography entitled My Life as a Dog? (5 points)

Bonus Question: What popular candy was developed and marketed by a man who had once worked as a dairyman for the Hershey Chocolate Company? (3 points)

Bonus Question: What is my Mom's first name? (10 points)

Answers will post Wednesday morning.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Battle of the Cereal Mascots: FINAL ROUND

Wow, that last round was intense. Tony and Trix were neck and neck but then Tony realized he was a tiger and just ate the rabbit. I apologize to all you vegetarians for the graphic image I just put in your head.

This is the last battle to determine who is the greatest cereal mascot of all time. I assumed from the get-go that Tony would be in this last round but Toucan Sam is kind of a surprise. Personally I was rooting for the Cap'n to make it all the way. I have a thing for pirates, I'm thinking about getting a wooden leg.

Treat this final vote like it was for American Idol. I don't watch that show but I hear people enjoy it way too much. I decided to talk to a 3rd grade class and see if they had any questions for our mascots. I brought in the kids with the best questions to interview our combatants. Stick around after the match, we will be giving out free boxes of the winner's cereal.




VS




PTM: Okay Toucan, all these questions are from 8 & 9 year olds. Are you ready?
Toucan Sam: Fire away.
Jake: Where do babies come from?
Toucan Sam: Do you know what a vagina is?
Jake: The state next to West Vagina.
Toucan Sam: Yes, babies come from there.
Sally: Why doesn't my daddy live with us anymore?
Toucan Sam: He probably doesn't love you anymore.
Ricky: How do you wipe your hiney?
Toucan Sam: I use SpongeBob.
Melissa: Where is Mrs. Toucan?
Toucan Sam: She left me for the Sonny the Cocoa Puffs bird. That guy is a real douche.

PTM: Okay Tony it's your turn.
Tony: Hurry up, I have to take a dump.
Jasmine: Who is your favorite superhero?
Tony: Captain Planet, I hate pollution too.
Nick: How do I get a girl to like me?
Tony: Have lots of money and stop picking your nose.
Penny: My mom says I'm not allowed to eat your cereal, too sugary. Can you talk to her?
Tony: Is that her in the leopard spandex? Tell her to meet me at the Super 8 motel at 7 tonight.
Mark: Why don't you wear any pants?
Tony: They don't make any with a tail hole and nobody seems to mind me walking around nude.

Now that we heard from the kids, let's hear from you. Will it be Tony or Toucan? Polls close on Sunday at 11:58 pm. I will announce the winner on Monday or Tuesday next week. Vote now.

Trivia Corner #9 Answers

Congrats to Baygirl for getting a perfect score and getting the extra credit question right. Pat was one point behind her.

1) How many red roses are in the garland of roses that's draped over the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby? (1 point)

a) 106
b) 275
c) 422
d) 554
e) 700


2) On what continent is the Skeleton Coast located? (2 points)

Africa

3) What was the intent behind the first Labor Day parade, held in New York City in 1882? (3 points)

It was a protest rally sponsored by the city's Central Labor Union to demand an 8-hour work day and other labor reforms.

4) What famous American funnyman portrayed the "first gravedigger" in Kenneth Branagh's 1996 film version of Shakespeare's Hamlet? (4 points)

Billy Crystal

5) What have scientists determined was inaccurate about the physical appearance of the terrifying velociraptors in the 1993 sci-fi chiller Jurassic Park? (5 points)

They should of have had feathers.

Extra Credit: 2) What country is the Skeleton Coast located in? (2 points)

Namibia

Monday, September 13, 2010

Personal Ad

I am currently going to school for marketing and this semester I am taking an advertising class. Our assignment this past week was to create our own personal ad. The teacher said that we should be creative and have fun with it. I treated it like a blog post and let my creative juices seep into it. This is what I came up with.

26 year old male nostalgic movie buff desires spunky female that doesn’t mind eating some chocolate cake during a rousing game of strip scrabble.

I have a 10 year old kid trapped inside of me. He loves rooting for the NY Giants and has the time of his life jamming to Green Day Rock Band.

Do you like to laugh at random sarcastic humor? You should read my blog for a closer look at my sense of humor (reviewsyoucantuse.blogspot.com).

I want to have nine rug rats so I can pursue my dream of starting up my own baseball team

Movies are my life. I want to kiss the person that created Netflix unless it turns out to be an ugly dude. I am currently working on creating a movie based board game.

I would love to marry a woman that will support my creative side. I am currently after a marketing degree and my brain is overflowing with ideas and inventions.

There is a lot to pack in a personal ad. I hope I don’t waste this last line on something silly. I love food, sex and animals, in that order.


What do you think? (If you want to play trivia, scroll down a post)

Trivia Corner #9

I hope everyone had a relaxing weekend watching football. Time to focus and score some points for whoever you want to score points for. This is the second to last Trivia Corner round. Next week is the last round. It's getting down to the wire.

There will be 2 winners this series. The first place winner will get to choose whether they would like to guest post here on 'Just the Cheese' or have me write a post just about them and their blog. The second place winner will receive what the first place winner doesn't pick.

RULES: The rules are very simple. Try not to use the Internet, these questions are to test your knowledge of useless information. Please DO NOT leave your answers in a comment. Let everyone playing have a fair shot at answering them. I WILL ONLY accept answers in the form of an email. Email your answers to reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com. Let's have some fun out there.

1) How many red roses are in the garland of roses that's draped over the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby? (1 point)

a) 106
b) 275
c) 422
d) 554
e) 700


2) On what continent is the Skeleton Coast located? (2 points)

3) What was the intent behind the first Labor Day parade, held in New York City in 1882? (3 points)

4) What famous American funnyman portrayed the "first gravedigger" in Kenneth Branagh's 1996 film version of Shakespeare's Hamlet? (4 points)

5) What have scientists determined was inaccurate about the physical appearance of the terrifying velociraptors in the 1993 sci-fi chiller Jurassic Park? (5 points)

Extra Credit: 2) What country is the Skeleton Coast located in? (2 points)

Answers will post tomorrow morning.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Missed Connections

Have you ever wondered if the 'Missed Connections' on Craigslist ever get a response? Here are some real missed connections with responses that may or may not be real.

Beautiful woman at the Labor Day Parade - m4w (Bienville Square/Mobile)

I saw you today and was just in aww! You were wearing khaki capri pants, white blouse and had blonde hair. It was you, your daughter and apparently your mom and dad accompanying you. Your dad was wearing a orange magellan shirt. You and your mom were pushing your daughter around in a fisher price red wagon. Your smile was extremely attractive and I found myself staring while you were playing with your daughter . I wanted to approach you but couldn't find the courage to do so. I can kick myself now for not doing so, I hate missing out on such things. Anyway, if anyone knows this lovely lady I would love to talk with her... You never know, we may just hit it off.


Dear Attention-to-detail,

I would love to meet up with you and talk about my smile. Is it okay that I have a penis? Respond back ASAP.


---------------------------------------

Hottie working at Ruby Tuesday's sunday night - m4w - 26 (Fairhope, Alabama)

This is to the gorgeous blonde working sunday night at Ruby Tuesday's in Fairhope. I thought you were beautiful and couldn't take my eyes off you. We made eye contact several times, but I never had the opportunity to talk to you. Seeing that I just moved to Fairhope and don't know anyone yet, it would've been nice had we been able to talk and maybe hang out sometime. But, the stars did not align tonight, hopefully another time. If you see this, I was the guy sitting by myself by the bar, near where you entered the kitchen. Here's hoping you see this or it gets to you somehow.


Dear Desperate-for-Affection,


I wasn't trying to make eye contact with you. I was just really curious to know why you were wearing that helicopter hat at the bar. I kept looking over to see if I knew you. I would say come back and talk to me but you were also wearing galoshes and it wasn't raining. That's number 17 on the turn-offs list. Sorry.

----------------

Dawes/Cottage Hill Walmart - w4m - 23 (West Mobile)

hate walmart with a passion, but had to stop in for an item or two (which turned into more like 8 or so items.)

I was in line behind you at checkout number 09 around 7:20pm, and you noticed I was holding my few items. You allowed me to go ahead of you.

While this was just a simple kind gesture, it meant a lot to me, and I was sincere in my thank yous. I wanted to talk to you while we waited, but unfortunately could think of nothing remotely interesting to say, even with the added help of your company logo on your workshirt.

You had a kind smile, and wnated you to know that you made a great, lasting impression. (You also made the dreaded Walmart trip much more pleasant than normal.)

I don't know if you are single (though I didn't see a ring) or if you even care at all, but I do hope to run into you again if I am forced to go to walmart against my will, haha!

If you do happen to see this and can tell me your workplace or why I said it was probably better for me to wait in line, I'd love to talk to you again.


Dear Walmart Hater
,

I have to confess some things to you. I don't work at Chippendales, I stole the shirt from a novelty store. Also, I am homeless. I actually live in the Walmart, the manager is cool and lets me crash there until I can get back on my feet again. I'm lonely so I usually just wait in line and let people ahead of me so I can talk with them. Last night I masturbated to an image of you running around the store in just a Walmart apron. I hope all this doesn't affect our future. I will be here everyday for awhile. I hope you come back and see me.


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Trivia Corner #8 Answers

Before you read this, make sure you vote on yesterday's cereal mascot battle. Scroll down a post.

Congrats to Pat, Geof and Baygirl for getting perfect scores this round. Pat was the only one to get the extra credit so he gets 3 extra points.

1) How long, in pages, are the British Standards Institution's specifications for preparing a proper cup of tea? (1 point)

a) 6
b) 25
c) 2
d) 13
e) 9


2)In Renaissance days, what were the doppio, the canary, the galliard, and the tordion? (2 points)

Dances

3) What's the name of the legendary monster that some people believe lurks beneath the surface of Lake Tahoe, on the California-Nevada border? (3 points)

Tahoe Tessie or Tessie

4) What legendary country singer released a double-disc album entitled The IRS Tapes: Who'll Buy My Memories? to help pay the millions in back taxes he owed Uncle Sam? (4 points)

Willie Nelson

5) What movie was such a favorite of reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes that he watched it repeatedly, 150 times, in his declining years? (5 points)

Ice Station Zebra


Extra Credit: Answer question #1 in number of words. (closest person will get 3 points)

5,000 words

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Battle of the Cereal Mascots: Semi Finals: Round 2


Holy potatoes Batman, last week's battle was freakin' lopsided. I figured that Snap, Crackle & Pop would roast that bird but I was dead wrong. With what is being called as the upset of 2010, Toucan Sam laid those boys out. With something like 11 votes to 2, Toucan Sam is without a doubt headed to the final battle.

I was suppose to have a special guest today but they were kidnapped by Booberry and Frankenberry. I was told in a ransom note that they will return my special guest before next week's post if I promise never to eat or purchase Count Chocula again. Sorry Count but I have to get my special guest back for next week. Who you may ask is the special guest? I'd tell ya but I would have to kill your grandma or pet hamster, whichever you're closest too.

Today's fight determines who goes up against Toucan Sam in the final round. Make your votes count. As a added treat both the combatant's mothers decided to join us today. They were both eager to step into an interview. Who am I to pass up some hot moms?

Here today we have Tony the Tiger's mom Claudia and Trix Rabbit's mom Simone.



PTM: Was Tony a trouble maker when he was younger?

Claudia Tiger: My Tony? Not even close. Tony was a real big pussy when he was younger. He cried all the time over the littlest things. This one time his favorite bandana got shrunk in the wash and he threw the biggest hissy fit. He cried himself to sleep that night.

PTM: What were his first words?

Claudia Tiger: You're expecting me to say "they're grrreat", it was actually '' what's a scrotum?'.

PTM: Was he always a whiz with catch phrases?

Claudia Tiger: He got addicted to game shows at a young age and he used to imitate all the hosts. He aspired to replace Vanna White.


PTM: This may be out of line but how old are you?

Claudia Tiger: Old enough to kick your scrawny ass.

PTM: Sorry I asked, moving on. Is there still a Mr. Tiger in the picture?

Claudia Tiger: Not since last year. He's in prison now, I still don't know why he agreed to help O.J. rob that house.


PTM: How often do you visit 'Just the Cheese'?

Claudia Tiger: Is that the new cheese museum in Wisconsin?

PTM: Nevermind. Do you have any odd piercings or tattoos?

Claudia Tiger: I pierced our pet goldfish once, does that count? I also have a tattoo of some stripes on my back.

PTM: Wait, aren't you a tiger? Nevermind..... I love hot pockets and bacon.

Claudia Tiger: I love lean pockets and bacon bits, how weird.

PTM: How often did Tony dress up in your clothes?

Claudia Tiger: How does everyone know that? It was just a phase when he was 7 until he was 22.

PTM: Ok last question. What are your feelings about Tigger?

Claudia Tiger: If was 18 I would do things to him that you only see in hardcore pornos.

-------------

PTM: How many other children do you have?

Simone Rabbit: I have lost count over the years but I'm going to guess 58.

PTM: Are any of your other children famous?

Simone Rabbit: Not yet but Randy, Paul, Henry, Bernard and Icabod started a band that's really taken off. It's a mix of Justin Bieber and Vanilla Ice.

PTM: I'm not sure why you are wearing that negligee but you look damn good in it.

Simone Rabbit: Why thank you, you really know how to sweet talk a lady. Is that chapstick in your pocket or are you just looking at my boobs?

PTM: Both. You look so young, you must of been only 13 when you had Trix. Was he planned?

Simone Rabbit: Are you flirting with me? Cuz I like it. I was actually 9 when I had him. They don't make condoms for rabbits yet.

PTM: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

Simone Rabbit: I only watched tv to catch an Energizer Bunny commercial. That guy gives me hot flashes but in a good way.

PTM: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Simone Rabbit: Meet me in the bathroom after the interview and bring some peanut butter.

PTM: Do you have anything against Claudia Tiger?

Simone Rabbit: I hear she eats small animals.

PTM: Well she is a Tiger..... Was Trix popular in High School?

Simone Rabbit: He was after he got caught masturbating in the nurse's office.

PTM: Do you think you could beat The Invisible Seductress in a beauty contest?

Simone Rabbit: Maybe if I was 20 years younger and my breasts didn't sag as much. Who could beat the Seductress?

PTM: Okay last question. Chocolate, vanilla or ramen noodle?

Simone Rabbit: I don't understand the question.


Okay, time to cast your vote: Tony the Tiger or Trix Rabbit? Polls will close on Sunday at 11:58 pm. The final battle will be Tuesday.


If you are looking for trivia answers I'm extending Trivia Corner until Wednesday.






Monday, September 6, 2010

Monday Minute and Stuff

I have a quick announcement before you read my Monday Minute. I start school this week. I am taking 5 classes/14 credits and I also work overnights. I am going to have to cut back on my blogging. I will probably only post 3 days a week instead of my normal 5. I will probably be commenting less on all the great blogs out there. I just won't have the same amount of time as I did. I am not looking forward to all the homework. I have been only going part time up until now. I was only taking two classes per semester, that was easy. I needed to kick it up a notch. Don't forget about me folks, I'm still here, just not as much.

There was a mis-communication between Passionofthemom and myself and I never received the answers to her movie game guest post. So if you are looking for them, she posted them on her blog, you can see them here.

Enough serious talk let's get silly.





This week our guest host is Evonne from Jules Out Loud

1. If you could interview any famous person, dead or alive, who would it be? What would you ask?


I would interview whoever invented the hot pocket, those things are so tasty. My one question would be: Which Friends star is your favorite?


2. You have to give up one thing for a month. What would it be - car, guilty pleasure (ie. food, drink, fav. tv show), or sex?

Does sex with a cantelope warmed up in the microwave still count as sex?



3. Is there a word/phrase you say that you are made fun of for? If so, what is it?

I get teased when I say 'refrigerator' because I pronounce it 'barracuda'.


4. Which is a stronger emotion: Anger or Love?

I will have to quote Miss Tina Turner on this one:

Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken


5. Where was your first job?

I worked in a lab and I was in charge of manually masturbating the frogs for artificial insemination. I got fired because I broke off too many frog willies.

There will be another special guest helping me out with tomorrow's cereal mascot battle, don't miss it.





Trivia Corner #8

The person who scores highest today will receive a lifetime supply of light butter.

There will be 2 winners this series. The first place winner will get to choose whether they would like to guest post here on 'Just the Cheese' or have me write a post just about them and their blog. The second place winner will receive what the first place winner doesn't pick.

RULES: The rules are very simple. Try not to use the Internet, these questions are to test your knowledge of useless information. Please DO NOT leave your answers in a comment. Let everyone playing have a fair shot at answering them. I WILL ONLY accept answers in the form of an email. Email your answers to reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com. Let's have some fun out there.

1) How long, in pages, are the British Standards Institution's specifications for preparing a proper cup of tea? (1 point)

a) 6
b) 25
c) 2
d) 13
e) 9


2)In Renaissance days, what were the doppio, the canary, the galliard, and the tordion? (2 points)

3) What's the name of the legendary monster that some people believe lurks beneath the surface of Lake Tahoe, on the California-Nevada border? (3 points)

4) What legendary country singer released a double-disc album entitled The IRS Tapes: Who'll Buy My Memories? to help pay the millions in back taxes he owed Uncle Sam? (4 points)

5) What movie was such a favorite of reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes that he watched it repeatedly, 150 times, in his declining years? (5 points)

Extra Credit: Answer question #1 in number of words. (closest person will get 3 points)

Answers will post tomorrow morning.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Where Are They Now?

I'm starting up a new segment where I discuss the whereabouts of random characters, celebrities or things. And of course I'm going to add a humorous twist to it. I thought up this idea back in March and just never got around to do anything with it. I'm trying to clean out my draft folder, I have too much crap in there. I hope that this is different than The Non-Review's Non-Oblits, I don't want to end up copying T.S.

Today I have a commercial celebrity. You might not recognize his name but I'm pretty sure you will recognize his face and character. Michael Vale, aka Fred the Baker from the Dunkin' Donuts commercials.

Michael acted as Fred the Baker from 1982 til 1997. His famous line was "time to make the donuts." Now what you know is that Dunkin' Donuts retired his character in 1997 and that Michael Vale passed away in 2005, however I know the actual truth. Michael was hiding a dirty little secret that if word got out would shock the world. The real reason Michael woke up early and was excited to make the donuts was that he had a donut fetish. He liked to spend "quality time" with the donuts before anyone else came into the store. He kept this dirty little secret hidden from everybody even his wife and kids.

One day in 1997 the manager decided to come in extra early to the store but Michael didn't know that. The manager caught Michael with his pants down and was utterly shocked. Corporate decided that it would be in the best interest of everyone to say that they were retiring his character. If word got out about his fetish then the company and Michael would suffer ultimate humiliation.

Years later, the story got leaked through employees and family members. A reporter named Shelly heard about it and she wanted to get the scoop from the source. Unfortunate for her, Michael was placed into the witness protection program, nobody knew where he was. Shelly was determined to find him, it would be her biggest story. In 2005 she tracked him down but before she could interview him, a news report of his death was broadcast. Shelly gave up after she heard of his passing.

The truth is that Michael is still alive. Since 1997 he has been seeking help for his obsessive fetish. He has met with all different doctors of foreign lands trying to cure himself. His wife left him because he couldn't keep his problem under control and his kids don't speak with him anymore. His last known whereabouts were somewhere in South America. Michael, it's time to stop making it with the donuts.




If you haven't voted on the most recent Cereal Mascot Battle round, you can do so HERE.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Movie Game with Guest Host Passionofthemom


Today I have a special surprise (well not a surprise cuz I told you about it on Monday). Passionofthemom is guest posting the movie game. She won the movie game so this is her prize. Now she worked hard on creating these questions so even if you don't know them you should still leave a comment for her. You will be emailing her your answers, not me. Email answers to Passionofthemom@gmail.com. Answers will be posted on Friday.

RULES: I present you with two movies, for example: The Matrix and Miss Congeniality. The object of the game is to link them together to another movie by connecting the actors/actresses. The link in this case is Speed using Keanu Reeves from The Matrix and Sandra Bullock from Miss Congeniality. Another example is: Link Top Gun & The Shining. The answer is A Few Good Men, using Tom Cruise from Top Gun and Jack Nicholson from The Shining. Get it?

Now they all aren't this easy and sometimes there are multiple answers. The questions range from easy to hard and sometimes I like to throw in a challenging one to test those true movie buffs. You earn points for correct answers and I keep track of every one's points on the side of my blog. There is going to be a prize awarded to the winner. Try not to use the Internet. This is a game of memory and skill. I ONLY ACCEPT ANSWERS IN THE FORM OF AN EMAIL, DO NOT PUT YOUR ANSWERS IN A COMMENT, LET EVERYONE HAVE A FAIR CHANCE AT PLAYING. EMAIL ANSWERS TO Passionofthemom@gmail.com. GOOD LUCK!!

Easy -- The In-Laws (2003) to EdTV (1 point)

Medium -- Better Off Dead to Beethoven (2 points)

Hard -- Soapdish to Wayne's World (3 points)

Challenge -- The Good Shepherd to Tenacious D in The Pick Of Destiny to Primal Fear (5 points)

Here is the new addition to the game. It's sort of like the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon but instead of using Mr. Bacon I am going to give you 2 random actors/actresses and you have to find the quickest link using movies. For example: Will Smith to Al Pacino. The answer could be: Will Smith in Men in Black with Tommy Lee Jones who is in Batman Forever with Chris O'Donnell who is in Scent of a Woman with Al Pacino. If you finding a quicker link than good for you. The less movies you use, the more points you get.

Link: Anton Yelchin to Justin Bartha

Link: BJ Novak to Kristen Wiig

Points are as follows:
In same movie together: 5 points
Using 2 movies: 4 points
3 movies: 3 points
4 movies: 2 points