Friday, April 30, 2010

Missed Connections

Have you ever wondered if the 'Missed Connections' on Craigslist ever get a response? Here are some real missed connections with responses that may or may not be real.

Neon at the hot dog stand. - m4w
I see you from time to time at the hot dog stand on __ near the 4 corners in _______. I hadn't seen you there in a few days and then saw you there again on Monday or Tuesday. I wish I had the nerve to stop and talk to you, but you seem to know the owner of the stand very well judging by how often you are there, and do not want to create an awkward moment if he is your significant other.. You drive a Neon and you have blond in your hair (I can't quite make out the other hair color). I just wanted to say I think you are very beautiful, and would love to get to know you. If you are the girl I am speaking of (which I hope you are), please do write me back and tell me what color your Neon is so I know it's you.

To creepy guy that probably has a hot dog fetish,
I have seen you staring at me from across the street. You're the guy wearing the Star Wars shirt holstering a red light saber. I wouldn't mind you looking at me every time I get a hot dog but the binoculars are a bit creepy. The owner of the stand is not my significant other, he is just my baby daddy and my half brother. I get free hot dogs, that is why I'm there so often. I am going to have to tell him to relocate his stand now. If I see you staring at me again I'm going to have to call my boyfriend/cousin to kick your ass.

I have watched you for a while - m4w
You are beautiful and brilliant. We spoke a few times but you are always in a hurry. I think you are older than i am but you don't look it. U drive a white beemer with special plates. Write back and tell me what your plate says.

To cute young guy,
My plate says ILVPSSY (I love pussy). Sorry if I led you on. What does your mom look like?


you: really short, blue shirt, awesome tits - m4w
you are a little tiny short girl. you had on a blue shirt that showed off your amazingly hot cleavage. we talked for a few minutes today and i was staring at your rack the whole time. would love to get a better look sometime, maybe we can take the blue shirt off so i can see them better. i have something you can see too ;-)
where were we? what did we talk about?

To fat guy with bad acne,
I don't remember us actually talking. You were talking to me while spitting your corn dog all over me. The only stayed there to wait in line. I know I have awesome tits, my husband tells me that all the time. I didn't have to look at your eyes to know you were staring at them, the roll of dimes in your pocket gave it away. I'm sure you would love to get a better look but that is never going to happen. I'd rather try to swim in a pool full of extra chunky peanut butter and possibly drown. And what do you have to show me besides your beer gut and 3 spare tires? Do you want to introduce me to your inflatable doll? Go in the woods and play hide and go fuck yourself.

Old Man, it's Amber - w4m
I saw you today.
I was driving on Route 9 and you had just gotten to work--same parking space, as always. You were standing next to the car, jeans and dress shoes, ready to start your day.
I miss you. I don't miss you--I miss having someone. I miss you.
All I do is think about you. I wish my brain would quiet down. Our time has come and gone.
onion rings and bacon and cream cheese

To desperate Amber,
How do you know what I had for lunch? Are you stalking me? You look 17, I'm 58. I am not a child molester. I am not going to fall for your trap so you can pretend to get raped and press charges. That may have worked for you sister but you are not going to trick me. And stop stealing my bacon!!

Tell me what you think. Maybe I will do this more often.

The Movie Game Answers

There were a lot of other answers this time around besides mine. I want to give a shout out to Nippy @ Crazy Penguin Ramblings, Kelly @ Guilty of Gossip and Jerry @ My Thoughts Brought To The Light for getting all four movie links.

Easy - Link: Shawshank Redemption & Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Se7en (Morgan Freeman & Brad Pitt) or Wanted (Morgan Freeman & Angelina Jolie)

Medium - Link: Clueless & The Dukes of Hazzard
Roles Models (Paul Rudd & Seann William Scott) or Road Trip (Breckin Meyer & Seann William Scott)

Hard - Link: Legends of the Fall & Lake Placid
Benny & Joon (Aidan Quinn & Oliver Platt) or Troy (Brad Pitt & Brendan Gleeson) or Beuwolf (Anthony Hopkins & Brendan Gleeson)

Challenge - Link: Boiler Room & The Silence of the Lambs & Varsity Blues
The Fast and the Furious (Vin Diesel, Ted Levine & Paul Walker)

There are probably other answers that I missed but if you made a correct connection then you earned yourself some points. Don't forget to check the standings and come back next Wednesday for another round of The Movie Game.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Chili's review

First off, by a show of hands, who hasn't been to Chili's? Really, that many of you? It's like an Applebee's but better. Nicole and I dine at Chili's about once a month, it's our favorite place to eat. They have tasty food, reasonable prices and it's only a short 10/15 minute drive over to the giant red pepper.

One of the tastiest menu items are the Texas Cheese Fries which have been named the worst fries in America, not worst tasting but worst in health. These bad boys contain 1,920 calories, 147 grams of fat, and 3,580 mg of sodium but I don't care because they make my tummy monster happy and I don't want him to be angry. Even a half order has 1400 calories.

They are always running some great deals. A few months ago they had 2 for $20 which included one appetizer, two entrees and one dessert. Recently they had one appetizer and one entree for $9.99 which is similar to 2 for $20 except you swap a dessert for an appetizer. I thought 2 for $20 was the shit when they were advertising it. The only real catch is that the apps and entrees are limited to only certain menu selections but beggars can't be choosers (or another cliche/saying that fits).

One of my favorite underrated food item is the honey mustard. I use this as my dipping sauce instead of ketchup when I go out and I love the honey mustard at Chili's especially with fries. I would dip my shoes in honey mustard if those were the only 2 things I had to eat. The problem is that you can't get honey mustard in the supermarkets like they have in restaurants and diners. I don't know who is behind this mystery but I want some answers!!

Waiter's Thoughts:

I've got a turtle head poking out and I don't know if I can make it to the bathroom in time.

Why are these horses talking gibberish? I shouldn't of dropped acid on my break.

I wonder if they can tell that part of their Texas Cheese Fries order is missing? Do I have a piece of bacon on my lip?

I hope that chick I nailed last night didn't have crabs, I am so itchy.

Shit! Did he just catch me looking down her shirt?

If I don't get a good tip, I swear I will karate chop him in the neck.

I wonder what Spongebob is up to today?

I probably should be writing down their order instead of scratching my ass.

If only they knew what is really in the honey mustard.

"Life is like a hurricane, Here in Duckburg, Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, It's a Duck-blur, Might solve a mystery, Or rewrite history, DuckTales, oooh ooooh......"


My favorite baby back rib song sung by Fat Bastard.

Thinking About Our Future

I recently watched Couples Retreat and it made me think about my relationship with Nicole. Seeing the married couples in the film got me pondering our future, only good things mind you, nothing bad. It got me all warm and fuzzy thinking about getting married and having kids. Because of the movie (which I finished at 5 am) a rush of feelings came over me and I texted Nicole 'I love you.' I wish I had watched it with her, it's one of those movies that makes you want to cuddle and be affectionate but it's not a chick flick.

Anytime I watch a movie or tv show with a family I start thinking about my future family. I really want to be a husband and a great dad. I love seeing adorable little kids in movies and shows, it makes me want to have one of my own right away. I have never thought about this stuff in prior relationships and that's one of the reasons I know that Nicole and I are meant to be together. I love these new feelings about marriage and kids. Of course Nicole wants like 16 and I want 3 so there is going to be much discussion on the subject when it comes time to start makin' the babies. I think that I will make a kick-ass dad, I'm still a big kid inside. Put some baby toys in front of me and I will gladly entertain myself. I think I might go play with some Legos after this post, I believe I still have mine from when I was a wee lad.

If you remember from last week's post, Nicole and I checked out our first wedding hall. This place was gorgeous. It was right on the Hudson River. The view is beautiful no matter where you are inside, there are windows surrounding the hall. There is a stone walkway in the water leading to a rock formation where pictures are taken for the wedding. I wish I had some pics to show you. The menu is to die for, so much food!! Anything you can think of, they have it. Their chef has been with them for 22 years and they are renowned for their food. We were so excited about this place until she told us the price per plate. Depending on what month and day the wedding is, the price ranges from $140-$180 a plate. This may be out of our price range. Nicole wasn't as shocked by the price like I was (mostly because I'm cheap). They have food tasting every 6-8 weeks so we are going to hit that up. We can bring 6 people total and the food is free and we get to meet the vendors. I love free food. This place might be too good to be true but it is only the first place we have looked at and we are in no rush to make any decisions. I bet house hunting is going to be similar to this.

I want to end on a good note. The other night we had another 'sleep kissing' episode. It was another deep and passionate kiss like the last time except for that it felt like a 'first kiss' kiss. In my half daze I mumbled something about a first kiss, I was probably still dreaming. It was definitely another memorable kiss and I hope this becomes a trend in our future slumber.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Movie Game

Time for everybody's favorite blog game. As per the rules, please EMAIL me your answers. You are welcome to leave comments but don't spoil it for everybody else by posting answers there. Let's have fun out there!

If you have never played before or need a refresher, well read ahead...

I present you with two movies, for example: Independence Day and U.S. Marshalls. The object of the game is to link them together using another movie by connecting the actors/actresses. The link in this case is Men In Black using Will Smith from Independence Day and Tommy Lee Jones from U.S. Marshalls. Now they all aren't this easy and sometimes there are multiple answers. The questions range from easy to hard and sometimes I like to throw in a challenging one to test those true movie buffs. You earn points for correct answers and I keep track of every one's points on the side of my blog. There is going to be a prize awarded to the winner. GOOD LUCK!!

Easy - Link: Shawshank Redemption & Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Medium - Link: Clueless & The Dukes of Hazzard

Hard - Link: Legends of the Fall & Lake Placid

Challenge - Link: Boiler Room & The Silence of the Lambs & Varsity Blues

Email answers to reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com
There are going to be 4 more Movie Game posts then I am declaring a winner and restarting everyone at zero. So put on those thinking caps and really concentrate. Answers will be posted on Friday at 7 am.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Battle of the Game Show Hosts: 2nd Round


Man, that 1st round was a doozy. It literally came down to the last vote right before the polls ended. Bob got the first 2 votes but then Richard was on a role and kickin' Bob's ass all over the ring. Half way through the fight it seemed like Dawson had it all won but somehow Barker got his 2nd wind and ended up tying it on Saturday. I thought I would have to be the tie-breaker vote which I didn't want to do but then Geof from ETMC came by right before the polls closed and made Bob Barker the victor. I have to get a hold of myself, there was so much excitement. Deep breaths, gooooosefraba, gooooosefraba. I had do dump a bottle of water over my head but I'm okay now.

The next fight is about to begin. I am letting Jeff Foxworthy be the guest referee for this one. I hope that I can trust him to be fair. That mustache always seemed suspicious to me. I promised Larry the Cable Guy that he can referee the next round but I lied just so he would stop saying "I'll git 'er done for you." Luckily he won't find out because he can't read. I have to stop talking now, the fight is underway.

ALAN THICKE vs. MARC SUMMERS





Hostings: First Impressions (1970's), Pictionary (1997) & All New 3's a Crowd (2000's)
Favorite Video Game: Mario Kart for N64
Most Hated Shape: Pentagon, broke his heart at 17
Most Loved Cartoon: Fraggle Rock
Most Embarrassing Story: Had a wet dream about Kirk Cameron
Biggest Accomplishment: Winning his 5th grade spelling bee with the word 'Grundle'
Beef with Marc Summers: Would always harass Alan with the question: What would you do?



Hostings:Double Dare (1986-88), Couch Potatoes (1989), What Would You Do? (1991-93), History IQ (2000), WinTuition (2002-04)
Favorite Video Game: Conker's Bad Fur Day for N64
Most Hated Shape: Tetrahedron, he knows what he did
Most Loved Cartoon: Care Bears
Most Embarrassing Story: Proposed to Summer Sanders but got rejected because she didn't want to be known as Summer Summers.
Biggest Accomplishment: Can tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue, blindfolded while skydiving
Beef with Alan Thicke: Alan has never watched an episode of Double Dare


Cast your vote now. Marc is willing to bribe anyone with DVD's of What Would You Do? Dubbed in German. Polls with close on Sunday at 11:59 pm. The next round will commence next Tuesday.


Trivia Corner Reboot #2 Answers

Here are your answers folks. I stumped you all on that second question.

1.) What are kernels of popcorn that don't pop called?
(worth 1 point)

a.) Lazy Dogs
b.) Old Maids
c.) Abe Vigodas
d.) Un-laid Eggs
e.) Late Bloomers

2.) What Hall of Fame hurler issued a record 11 walks while pitching a complete shutout? (worth 3 points)

Lefty Gomez, for the New York Yankees in 1941. Mel Stottlemyre came close to duplicating the feat for the Yankees in 1970 when he gave up 11 walks in 8 1/2 innings, but reliever Steve Hamilton got the last two outs.

Go check out the updated standings, did you make the cut? Come back next Monday for some more random trivia to text your noodle.

Monday Minute Link up

Monday Minute


1 - What drugs have you done in your life?


No drugs except for some legal steroids to help my eyes and the occasional alcoholic beverage. I'm straight edge, sounds lame.

2 - A/S/L?

25 & 3/4 / M / NY, what chat room you gonna be in?

3 - Do you pick your nose?

How else am I suppose to mine for nose gold?

4 - What's your favorite childhood cartoon

It's a tie between Ducktales and TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the non nerds in the room)

5 - List the URL, of what you believe to be the best blog post you've ever done

That would have to be my IHOP review

Monday, April 26, 2010

Obama-Rama

No, this post is not about Barack Obama. It's about our mutual blogger buddy Asblackasobama or Asblack as I like to call him. Cheesy title, right? That's what I thought when I typed it in there but do remember the title of this blog.......duh! (I bet Cheeseboy liked it's cheesiness) The reason for this sole blog post about Asblack is because (if you have been following for the past week) he won the last Trivia Corner contest and he's an all around swell guy but mostly because he won the contest. Maybe he will get some Spam after all if it's in the budget by the end of this post.

My first interaction with Asblack was back in mid October of 2009. He commented on a post titled WTF!!, which was oddly enough about people not commenting on my blog. I think it was meant to be. He says that I commented on his blog first but I think he commented on mine first I'm not sure of the true story but that doesn't matter. He was one of my first real followers, my other followers included Nicole, my brother-in-law and a friend from work, he made #4 (I think, don't quote me on that one). Since then he has commented on about 90% of my posts and always with something different to say. His following opened the flood gates to other great bloggers that now follow and comment on 'Just the Cheese.'

I had almost given up hope before Asblack came to my blog. I didn't think anyone was reading it and I was rarely getting comments until he showed up. He is a true blogger buddy. I wish he didn't live on the other side of the U.S. so we could be friends in real life. He seems like a cool dude.

I am sure all of you reading this already follow his blog but on the chance that you don't, go visit I Think it's Interesting after you are done reading this post. I love his blog, I too think it's interesting. He is always finding cool things on the net and in the real world to show us. I am still thinking about that awesome birthday candle that he found. My sister's b-day is tomorrow and I thought about getting that candle for her cake, she will be 27 but I think anyone would love that candle. I also love his theme song game on Friday's even though I usually miss guessing before the answers are revealed and most of the time I don't know the theme.

If he is busy and can't comment on my posts he goes back and tries to read and comment on almost all of what he missed. He is definitely a team player. I don't know how many blogs he follows but he make me feel like he is only following my blog sometimes. He always has great comments too. He has also guest posted for "Just the Cheese' about his love/hate relationship for the Raiders. Thank you Asblackasobama for all that you do in the blogosphere. We all think that you are awesome and we all love your blog. Keep doing what you are doing.

As a side note, I had posted some cool facts about 2 weeks ago and one of them was that Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words-- none of them with the letter E. Asblack sort of challenged me to write a post without using the letter E which is more difficult than it sounds. I have been thinking about what to write and how to write it. Look for that post by the end of this week, I hope. If you have any ideas for that post, let me know in your comment. Asblack suggested something about my wedding plans. What is your idea?

Trivia Corner Reboot #2

I just realized that in last week's trivia corner I put my blog URL instead of my email, no wonder only a few people participated. I am such a dumbass!!

Today I am presenting 2 questions. One of them is multiple choice, I am trying this out for a change to see what happens. Remember, there is going to be a prize for the winner at the end, only 8 more after this one. Answers will be posted Tuesday at 6 am.

RULES: I will only accept EMAILS, do not post your answers in a comment. Let everyone have a fair shot at guessing the answer. You are welcome to leave comments as long as you don't write any answers in there. Email answers to Reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com No cheating!! Using the Internet takes the fun out of the game. Have fun!

1.) What are kernels of popcorn that don't pop called?
(worth 1 point)

a.) Lazy Dogs
b.) Old Maids
c.) Abe Vigodas
d.) Un-laid Eggs
e.) Late Bloomers

2.) What Hall of Fame hurler issued a record 11 walks while pitching a complete shutout? (worth 3 points)

The standings are displayed on the left side of this blog for the world to see. The winner gets a prize at the end of the contest. Will it be you?

Friday, April 23, 2010

A Kiss to Remember

First I want to update everyone on my wedding plans. As you may know the date is set for October, 20 2012 (you may or may not be invited, talk to Nicole). We have an appointment to go check out a banquet hall for our wedding reception. It's called Beckwithe Pointe located in New Rochelle, NY. It's right on the Hudson River so the view is really beautiful (from what I can see from the wedding pics on their website). I'm very excited, this is one of our first big steps in the whole wedding planning scenario besides setting the date. I will keep everyone up to date if this place seems like a good option.

Next I want to present you with a phenomenon I like to call 'sleep kissing.' It has happened on numerous occasions between Nicole and I. We will both be fast asleep and then out of nowhere I wake up and start kissing her like we planned it or something. Then like it never happened we both stop and fall back to sleep. It's kind of like sleepwalking but nobody gets hurt and it's sort of romantic. After we wake up, I kind of remember it happening but it happens so fast that it almost seems like part of my dream.

This past week we had the most vivid sleep kissing episode. It was so passionate and romantic that I wish we knew what we were doing so we could of kept kissing for awhile and let things go where they might. It was definitely a memorable kissing moment. I am going to keep that memory just in the back of my mind so when I'm feeling down I can reach back for it to cheer me up. I wish we had more sleep kissing episodes like the one we had this week. I hope the next step is sleep sex.

We have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years (we will hit that mark on May 5th) and our relationship always feels new and fresh. We haven't gotten bored of each other. I still feel like it's the beginning of the relationship. I am going to stop here, I want to continue this in another post in the near future. I have a lot to say on this subject and I don't want to just squeeze it in here at the end of this one.

The Movie Game Answers

Congrats to Guilty of Gossip and Nippy the Penguin for correctly guessing all 4 movies this week, they both earned 11 points. Here are the answers.

Easy - Link: Contact & Hannibal
Silence of the Lambs (Jodie Foster & Anthony Hopkins)

Medium - Link: Air Force One & Mr. Deeds
Dracula (Gary Oldman & Winona Ryder)

Hard - Link: Iron Man & Kingpin
A Scanner Darkly (Robert Downey Jr. & Woody Harrelson)

Challenge - Link: Brokeback Mountain & Smart People & From Hell
The Day After Tomorrow (Jake Gyllenhaal, Dennis Quaid & Ian Holm)

There are two other answers to Hard, Natural Born Killers (Downey & Harrelson) and The Royal Tenenbaums (Paltrow & Murray). Thanks for playing.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Weird Laws: Part 5

Here is the next installment of Weird Laws of the United States.

MAINE

In Biddeford it is illegal to gamble at an airport. Hey I bet you $500 that the 2 o'clock to St. Louis crashes in Nebraska.

In Freeport it is illegal to sell mercury thermometers. Where can I buy mercury if I wanted to make my own thermometer?

MARYLAND

In Rockville it is illegal to swim in public fountains. But bathing in them is okay, right?

In Cumberland it is illegal to swear on a playground. I drop so many F-bombs when I'm on the swings.

MASSACHUSETTS

It is illegal to serve beer to hospital patients. The children's wing parties to hard.

It is against the law for shooting ranges to have targets that look like humans. What am I going to do with all these 8 x 10's I have of George Bush?

MICHIGAN

It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. Too many people weren't attending church so the priests, ministers and rabbis were picketing at General Motors.

It is illegal to be drunk on a train. That's the only way I will ride the trains.

MINNESOTA

It is illegal to loiter near any structure or vehicle without the consent of the owner. Hey dude, is it okay if I chill suspiciously around your car for like 2 hours?

In Minnetonka it is illegal to throw tacks, glass or nails onto a street or sidewalk. What about "National throw sharp objects onto the street or sidewalk day?"

MISSISSIPPI

It is illegal to seduce a woman by lying and promising to marry her. Every guy in Mississippi is screwed now.

I is illegal to teach someone what polygamy is. For those of you not familiar with polygamy, it is...... oops, I almost made a big mistake.

Go play The Movie Game if you didn't already. Also go vote on the Battle of the Game Show Hosts! Just scroll down to find them.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Movie Game

Time for everybody's favorite blog game. As per the rules, please EMAIL me your answers. You are welcome to leave comments but don't spoil it for everybody else by posting answers there. Let's have fun out there!

If you have never played before or need a refresher, well read ahead...

I present you with two movies, for example: Independence Day and U.S. Marshalls. The object of the game is to link them together using another movie by connecting the actors/actresses. The link in this case is Men In Black using Will Smith from Independence Day and Tommy Lee Jones from U.S. Marshalls. Now they all aren't this easy and sometimes there are multiple answers. The questions range from easy to hard and sometimes I like to throw in a challenging one to test those true movie buffs. You earn points for correct answers and I keep track of every one's points on the side of my blog. There is going to be a prize awarded to the winner. I haven't said what it is yet or how long the game is running. That will be a surprise. GOOD LUCK!!

Easy - Link: Contact & Hannibal

Medium - Link: Air Force One & Mr. Deeds

Hard - Link: Iron Man & Kingpin

Challenge - Link: Brokeback Mountain & Smart People & From Hell

Email answers to Reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com
Go vote if you haven't voted on the first round of Battle of Game Show Hosts. Just scroll down, it's yesterday's post.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Battle of the Game Show Hosts: !st Round

Okay folks, the polls are closed and the first battle is about to commence. It came down to the wire, there was a five-way tie for the last spot but a final vote by Asblackasobama sealed the deal. I almost had to jump in for a tie breaker and I can't promise that I wouldn't have been bias. So the winners are (drum roll please)...... nope I changed my mind, I want it to be a surprise. I can do that, it's my battle. I can tell you the ultimate losers though. Stuart Scott, Jeff Foxworthy and Summer Sanders did not receive a single vote. Didn't anybody watch Figure it Out on Nickelodeon besides me? Tough break for the losers. Okay, enough with the foreplay, let's get on to the fight.

Bob Barker vs. Richard Dawson





Hostings: Truth or Consequences (1956-74), Family Game (1967), The Price Is Right (1972-2007)
Favorite Board Game: Chutes and Ladders
Favorite Actor: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Favorite Movie Quotes: "Get to the chopper!" (Arnold, Predator) "It's not a tumor" (Arnold, Kindergarten Cop)
Favorite Song: Kangaroo song from Big Daddy
Biggest Accomplishment: Kickin' the shit out of Happy Gilmore
Beef with Richard Dawson: Bob lent Dick $10 back in 1974 while at a strip club and Dick has yet to pay him back



Hostings:
Masquerade Party (1974-75), Family Feud (1976-85 & 1994-95)
Favorite Board Game: Jenga: Truth or Dare
Favorite Actor: Chris Farley
Favorite Movie Quotes: "Tommy likey, Tommy want wingy" (Farley, Tommy Boy) "Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!" (Farley, Black Sheep)
Favorite Song: Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Biggest Accomplishment: Starring in The Running Man with Schwarzenegger
Beef with Bob Barker: One of Barker's beauties gave him an STD

Who will win the first round? That my folks is up to you. Cast your votes now. Polls will close Sunday at 11:59 PM. The next battle will be next Tuesday. Enjoy the videos, I know I did.



Trivia Corner Reboot Answers

Congrats to Tuppence for getting all 4 Oscar-winning Best Pictures. And to Nippy for correctly guessing the right amount of grapes.

1) Which 4 Oscar-winning Best Pictures have animal names in their titles?
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1976); The Deer Hunter (1979); Dances with Wolves (1991); and The Silence of the Lambs (1992)

2) How many pounds of fresh grapes does it take to produce a pound of raisins? (worth 2 points)
4 1/2 Pounds

Tune in next Monday for the nest round of Trivia Corner Reboot.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Trivia Corner Reboot

Before you go and read the trivia question, I have a few things to say. Hey what did I tell you? Read this first, I might mention your name. First off I want to congratulate Asblackasobama for being the ultimate champion of the first Trivia Corner challenge. You are probably all wondering what he has won. Johnny, tell him what he's won..... Johnny is indisposed at the moment (I think he is having a problem with his fly) so I will announce the grand prize. Asblackasobama you have won a lifetime supply of Spam!! Wait, wait, that won't work. I would have to buy all that Spam. What's that Johnny? Write a blog post about him and his blog, well that's a fabulous idea. If Johnny wasn't working pro-bono I would give that man a raise. So it is settled, I will dedicate a whole post to Mr. Asblack. I don't know when it's going to be up but expect it within the week. Okay, enough with the celebration, let's get to the meat and potatoes of this thing.

I am changing the point system for trivia corner. There is going to be no set system. I will assign certain points to each question, this way anybody can catch up. Also there will be no points awarded for creativity nor trying. I found it got too difficult to judge the creativity. There are going to be 10 rounds this time, one post each week on Monday, answers will be posted on Tuesday.

RULES: I will only accept EMAILS, do not post your answers in a comment. Let everyone have a fair shot at guessing the answer. You are welcome to leave comments as long as you don't write any answers in there. Email answers to Reviewsyoucantuse.blogspot.com No cheating!! Using the Internet takes the fun out of the game. Have fun!

1) Which 4 Oscar-winning Best Pictures have animal names in their titles?

I will award 1 point for each correct movie and an extra point if you get all 4 movies for a total of 5 points.

2) How many pounds of fresh grapes does it take to produce a pound of raisins? (worth 2 points)

Answers will post tomorrow morning at 7am.

Friday, April 16, 2010

FYI

I am declaring Asblackasobama the winner of Trivia Corner because he has taken a commanding lead and nobody is going to catch up with him. I am revamping Trivia Corner and I will post the new rules on Monday with a new question. I will also post what Asblackasobama has won for kicking everyone's ass. It might be a pony or it might be a coupon for 50 cents off yoplait yogurt. You will have to come back on Monday to see.


If you haven't voted on the Battle of the Game Show Hosts yet, GO HERE. Every vote counts so get them in now.

Have a nice weekend everyone. I'm going to be writing my English essay and I am not looking forward to it.

How to escape a ticket.....maybe

If you are ever pulled over by a cop, I heard if you can make him/her laugh then you are less likely to get a ticket. Here are a few random situations. Some might work and some might get you arrested.


Cop pulls you over for speeding:


Cop: "Why were you speeding?"
You: "Sir, I had some bad tacos for lunch and I am trying to get to the nearest toilet. Right now, I am just trying not to shit my pants."

Cop: "Why are you in such a hurry?"
You: "I heard the McRib is back."
Cop: "Shit, move over, I'll drive."

Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
You: "No, I can't read the signs. Hooked on Phonics did not work for me."

Cop: "The speed limit here is 45, you were going 85, got any good excuses?"
You: "I just watched Back to the Future and I was trying to get up to 88 MPH because I wanted to go back to the day of my wedding and tell myself not to go through with it."

Cop: "Can you tell me why you were speeding."
You: "Dammit, now I will never catch the Road Runner."

Cop pulls you over for suspicion of driving under the influence:

Cop: "Do I smell marijuana?"
You: "Why, did you want a hit?"

Cop: "Sir, have you been drinking?"
You: "Occifer, I think your twin brother is mocking you, he mouthed what you just said."

Cop pulls you over for whatever else:

Cop: "License and registration, please."
You: "What? My license? You guys took that away from me last month. Now you want me to show you it, make up your minds!"

Cop: "License and registration, please."
You: "I don't know where they are. Let me ask the guy in the trunk, it's his car."

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
You: "Do you like fish sticks?" (this one only works if the cop watches South Park)

Cop: "I pulled you over because you have a broken tail light."
You: "No shit, what else can you tell me Captain Obvious?."

The Movie Game Answers

Congratulations to Jerry, Guilty of Gossip and Geof for getting all four movie game questions and scoring 11 points a piece. Geof was the only one that actually came up with all the answers I had originally thought of but it still counts and you still get points if they are correct answers anyway. So without further ado here are my answers.

Easy - Link: Dirty Dancing & The Color Purple
Ghost (Patrick Swayze & Whoopi Goldberg)

Medium - Link: Cast Away & Thelma & Louise
A League of their Own (Tom Hanks & Geena Davis)

Hard - Link: Forrest Gump & Look Who's Talking
Steel Magnolias (Sally Field & Olympia Dukakis)

Challenge - Link: What's Eating Gilbert Grape & Zoolander & The Holiday
Titanic (Leonardo Dicaprio, Billy Zane & Kate Winslet)

A few other answers would of worked too. For hard there was She's So Lovely and Unbreakable. For the challenge there was also The Aviator. Thanks for playing. Next week, same bat time, same bat channel. Don't forget to check the standings.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Smile Goes A Long Way

The other night Nicole left my house around 2:30 am and after our goodnight kiss she gave me this great big smile (one of her best features). This particular smile made me light up inside, put a big smile on my face and I thought to myself, 'we have a great relationship.'I love when I have moments like these especially since it was from such a simple thing like a smile. I had to tell her right away what her smile did to me and also because I knew it would make her get that feeling as well. I can't search for these events, they just happen on their own at random times.

As I am typing this I am thinking back to another post I wrote about a great kiss we had outside of Subway. I am reliving that kiss right now and it feels good. I wish Nicole was next to me right now so I can give her a nice, big passionate kiss to express myself. It is definitely the little things that count in a relationship. I will remember moments like these and not even recollect the stupid fights we have had, they don't even matter.

Just yesterday at school she did something that was surprising and cute. She stopped by school on her way somewhere and met up with me in the parking lot to say hi and to give me a kiss. I didn't know she was coming and it was very cute what she did, I loved it. If only she had brought me a sandwich too, I'm just joking of course. I love the little things like that in our relationship. Can you remember the little things? Do they put a smile on your face? They do for me.

Nicole is the best and I am so excited about our future together. I can't wait to start a family with her and be a father to our rugrats. Nicole, thanks for everything you do. I love you.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Movie Game

It turns out that my movie game is a little bias because I'm a guy and don't want the same movies that females watch. So today I have a special treat, I am going to try and use movies that I think you ladies have seen. And when I say 'females' that goes for all of you cross-dressers, transsexuals, trans genders, transvestites and hermaphrodites too (I hope I didn't miss anyone). As per the rules, please EMAIL me your answers. You are welcome to leave comments but don't spoil it for everybody else by posting answers there. Let's have fun out there!

If you have never played before or need a refresher, well read ahead...

I present you with two movies, for example: Independence Day and U.S. Marshalls. The object of the game is to link them together using another movie by connecting the actors/actresses. The link in this case is Men In Black using Will Smith from Independence Day and Tommy Lee Jones from U.S. Marshalls.
Now they all aren't this easy and sometimes there are multiple answers. The questions range from easy to hard and sometimes I like to throw in a challenging one to test those true movie buffs. You earn points for correct answers and I keep track of every one's points on the side of my blog. There is going to be a prize awarded to the winner. I haven't said what it is yet or how long the game is running. That will be a surprise. GOOD LUCK!!


Easy - Link: Dirty Dancing & The Color Purple

Medium - Link: Cast Away & Thelma & Louise

Hard - Link: Forrest Gump & Look Who's Talking

Challenge - Link: What's Eating Gilbert Grape & Zoolander & The Holiday

Answers via Email: Reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com ..... and a fun comment. Answers will be posted on Friday. Don't delay, send in your answers now!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Battle of the Game Show Hosts: You Pick

Have you ever wondered who is the most kick-ass game show host out there? Well you get to decide....well, sort of. I am going to start the Battle of the Game Show Hosts, pitting 2 hosts against each other each week and you get to vote on who you think is better in any way you see fit. But first you get to vote on who you want to see in the ring. Below are 25 random game show hosts (okay maybe not random, I picked them myself based on if I ever saw the game show) and their most affiliated game show(s). You must pick only 8 that you want to see duke it out for all the glory. Voting will end Sunday at 11:59 and thr first battle will commence on Tuesday. Make your vote counts. Remember, only pick 8.

Bob Barker - The Price is Right
Alex Trebek - Jeopardy!
Regis Philbin - Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Pat Sajak - Wheel of Fortune
Richard Dawson - Family Feud
Howie Mandel - Deal or No Deal?
Richard Karn - Family Feud
Chuck Woolery - Love Connection & Lingo
Anne Robinson - The Weakest Link
John O'hurley - Family Feud
Dick Clark - The $100,000 Pyramid
Tom Bergeron - Hollywood Squares
Wayne Brady - Don't Forget the Lyrics
Bob Eubanks - The Newlywed Game
Joe Rogan - Fear Factor
Bob Saget - 1 vs. 100
Jeff Foxworthy - Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?
Drew Carey - The Price is Right
Summer Sanders - Figure it Out
Ben Stein - Win Ben Stein's Money
Marc Summers - Double Dare & What Would You Do?
Alan Thicke - Pictionary
Meredith Vieira - Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Stuart Scott - Stump the Schwab
Greg Lee - Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego?


You may put your vote in a comment or via email. The anticipation is killing me!

Trivia Corner #14 - Double Dose Answers

1.) What baseball legend struck out only 369 times in 6,821 at bats during his 13-season major league career?

Yankee great Joe DiMaggio, who hit 361 home runs.


2.) How did "a cup of Joe" become U.S. jargon for a cup of coffee?

It was named for Secretary of the Navy Josephus "Joe" Daniels, who banned "ardent spirits" from the officers' mess in 1914, making coffee the strongest drink offered aboard ship and inspiring the slang reference to coffee as a cup of Joe.

Don't forget to check the standings. Did you pass anybody? Are you where you want to be on the board?

Monday Minute sex edition answers

Monday Minute


At what age did you lose your virginity?
19 (I think, I am 90% sure, if not then 18)

Any good sex tips or advice?
Kinky is with a feather but freaky is using the whole chicken.

Lights on or off when you have sex?
I prefer on cuz I am visual but they are usually dimmed.

Have you ever been caught in the act of having sex?
My brother has barged in on me when we used to share a room. His excuse was always lame like he needed a pencil or something.

Ever catch your parents (or kids) having sex?
nope, I think I might have heard things coming from my parents room but I can't be sure.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Retro Review: "Hey Dude"



This was one of my favorite shows growing up on Nickelodeon. It aired on July 14, 1989. Do you know why this is awesome? Because July 14th is my birthday!! (not the 1989 part, I was born in '84) I just found that out while surfing IMDb and that makes this post even more special. The series span from 1989 to 1991 spitting out 65 dusty episodes.

If you have never seen the show, it took place on a ranch called The Bar None. It was run by Mr. Ernst with fellow employees: Ted, Lucy, Brad, Melody, Danny, and son Buddy. The show's premise was that Mr. Ernst was from the country or city (I can't remember which) and knew nothing on how to run a ranch. He also looked like a big dork. The episodes consisted of the daily activities of the ranch and the different zany situations that the employees got into. Go pick Hey Dude on your Netflix or Blockbuster Queue so you can understand what I'm talking about.

Cast:

Benjamin Ernst played by David Brisbin
Most Notable Mentions: Erin Brochovich as Dr. Jaffe, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as Man in Car, Forrest Gump as Newscaster and Seinfeld as Client of puffy shirt.

Ted McGriff played by David Lascher
Most Notable Mentions: Sabrina the Teenage Witch as Josh, Clueless as Josh (TV) and Blossom as Vinnie Bonatardi.

Melody Hanson played by Christine Taylor
Most Notable Mentions: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story as Kate Veatch, Zoolander as Matilda Jeffries, The Wedding Singer as Holly, A Brady Bunch Movie/A Very Brady Sequel as Marcia Brady and Friends as Bonnie.

Danny Lightfoo
t played by Joe Torres
Most Notable Mentions: Hey Dude as Danny Lightfoot......that's it.

Lucy played by Debrah Kalman
Most Notable Mentions: Hey Dude as Lucy.......nothing else.

Brad Taylor
played by Kelly Brown
Most Notable Mentions: Hey Dude as Brad Taylor......all I found. I thought I've seen her in something else but this is all IMDb has on her.

Buddy Ernst played by Josh Tygiel
Most Notable Mentions: Hey Dude as Buddy Ernst.........only thing he did.


My Mom got me all the episodes on some bootleg DVD's for Christmas this past year. The sound quality isn't that great and the episodes are marked wrong but it definitely took me back to my childhood. I was anywhere between 5 & 7 when I used to watch "Hey Dude." It's not quite as entertaining as it once was but it's nice to relive those memories of my youth. I love being nostalgic!

Tidbit of Trivia:
The set is still up, on a Dude Ranch-turned-resort outside Tucson, Arizona called Tanque Verde Guest Ranch.

This is the only episode I could find. Enjoy.



Trivia Corner #14 - Double Dose

Just a friendly reminder, please submit your answers in the form of an email. Don't ruin for everyone else by posting your answer in a comment. Answers will be posted tomorrow morning.

Also don't use the Internet, it takes all the fun out of it. Thanks.

1.) What baseball legend struck out only 369 times in 6,821 at bats during his 13-season major league career?

2.) How did "a cup of Joe" become U.S. jargon for a cup of coffee?

Email answers to: reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com

Friday, April 9, 2010

Cool Facts

Here are some random cool facts from my ipod.


Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles per second and sound waves saunter at 700 miles per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles away than it can be heard at the back of the room in which it originated.

The city of Tokyo was originally called Edo.

Flamingos are able to fly at a speed of approximately 55 kilometers an hour. In one night they can travel about 600 km.

In one day, a human sheds 10 billion skin flakes. This amounts to approximately two kilograms in a year.

The sun's total lifetime as a star capable of maintaining a life-bearing Earth is about 11 billion years. Nearly half that time has passed.

Watermelons can cost up to $100 in Japan.

Celtic warriors sometimes fought their battles naked, their bodies dyed blue from head to toe.

Hummingbirds can weigh less than a penny.

Penguins are not found in the North Pole.

Tipping at a restaurant in Iceland is considered an insult.

Contrary to popular belief, there are no Buddhists in India, nor have there been for about a thousand years.

The deepest underwater penguin dive is 1,772 feet by an Emperor penguin.

In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

To burn off one plain M&M candy, you need to walk the full length of a football field.

Half of the 42 U.S. Presidents are of Irish descent.

A quidnunc is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.

Queen Victoria used marijuana, to help relieve menstrual cramp pain.

Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 -- none of them with the letter E.

A human embryo is smaller than a grain of rice at four weeks old.

20252 is Smokey the Bear's own zip code.

Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps.

The Movie Game Answers

Here are this week's movie game answers. I want to give a shout of to Copyboy for getting his first point. Be proud!

Easy - Link: Doc Hollywood & The Addams Family (movie)
Back to the Future (Part 1, 2 or 3) (Michael J. Fox & Christopher Lloyd)

Medium - Link: Reindeer Games & Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Monster (Charlize Theron & Christina Ricci)

Hard - Link: Full Metal Jacket & Dirty Work
Toy Story (1, 2 or 3) (R. Lee Ermey & Don Rickles)

Challenge - Link: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines & Hulk (2003) & Anaconda
U-turn (Claire Danes, Nick Nolte & Jennifer Lopez/Jon Voight)

If you came up with different answers, I still gave you points if they were right. Someone needs to knock Nippy off his pedestal.

How does everybody feel about The Movie Game? Do you love it? Hate it? Do you find it frustrating? Do you not watch enough movies to play? Is it too hard? I would like some feedback.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Hello?

I am not intentionally a dick. You are probably wondering what I could be talking about. For some odd reason I have a problem with saying hello and goodbye, I would say more so on goodbye than hello. I am a polite person otherwise; I say please and thank you. I am a gentleman. I hold the door open for people. I respect my elders. I write thank you cards. I comment on bloggers that comment on my blog. But for some reason one of my biggest flaws is being rude by not saying hi.

I might have to rephrase that. I do say hi but only if the other person initiates it first, I rarely am the person that says hi first. I also hate the cliche question of "how are you?" Who really tells the truth when asked this question? The norm response is: good, how are you? I know a lot of people like to use "how are you?" to replace hello and I find that a little annoying because I know that a lot of people that ask this question really don't care how I am doing, they are just being polite. I would rather them stick to hello unless they are really interested in my life or well being such as my grandma, I know she actually cares.

I would say that one of the few times I initiate the hello is at family gatherings such as holidays. If I go to my Aunt's for Easter lets say, I will kiss the women in the family on the cheek and say hi. The guys get a handshake. But on the flip side I feel sort of awkward saying goodbye. I try to do a group goodbye so I don't have to 'do the 'rounds' so-to-speak. I will just say goodbye real loud and do one big wave, it works for me.

Recently someone told me that I was being disrespectful by not saying hi when entering their home. I know I was kind of already being disrespectful but it became more real when somebody actually said it to me. Well, my sister and mother have told me about my 'hi' problem before but when somebody outside of your family tells you the same info, it hits you harder.

So now I am trying to change my ways. Over the past few days I have been initiating the hellos and goodbyes. I have always struggled with this and it's going to take time before it just comes natural to me but I know I can change. There will be a new and improved Powdered Toast Man for the future.

You are just going to have to read it and find out

I am changing things up here on 'Just the Cheese' by doing something never attempted on a blog before (actually I have no idea if this is true but it sounds pretty good as an opening statement). I am going to review.... now what is it called? It's a story composed of different parts in the shape of a paper brick, there are individual sections with words and numbers on it. Wait...it's coming to me....oh yes, a book! I am going to review a book, hey you might learn something or you will just be amused, either way works for me.

I was forced to read 2001: A Space Odyssey at gun point by a crazy masked man wielding a super soaker or it may have been assigned to me by my comp & lit 2 professor. In any case I did not read it voluntarily. However it was probably one of my favorite books that I had to read for school related purposes. I was a little apprehensive because I tried watching the movie a few years ago and could not get past the first 15 minutes. Everybody in class said the movie was crazy and not very good, even the teacher but IMDb reviewers give it an 8.4. Maybe I need to give the movie a second chance now that I know what the story is suppose to be. Stanley Kubrick (the director) is pretty eccentric, I did watch A Clockwork Orange all the way through. Crazy stuff!!

Since the movie was kind of crazy or at least what I saw, I figured the book was going to be tough to follow like Wile Coyote trying to catch Road Runner (I don't know if that analogy works but I'm keeping it there). The novel was an easy read for 300 pages. Do you know why? Because Hooked on Phonics worked for me! Do they still have Hooked on Phonics?

The author, Sir Arthur C. Clarke (yeah he was knighted, take that Prince William) wrote this excellent piece of literature back in the 60's and boy was he way ahead of his time. This book is so futuristic and advanced in technologies. He wasn't that far off with what advancements we would have today, he talks about a vision phone (we had that but it failed back in the late 90's), newspad (which is described like a laptop but to only view newspapers) and a lot of other cool shiznit. However other stuff we don't have yet, like having colonies on the moon, we haven't perfected that yet......or have we?

I loved this book, I stayed up all night reading it because I had to find out what happened next, like any good book. I highly recommend this novel for those of you that do know how to read, unfortunately there are no pictures or pop-ups. The only bad thing about reading this book, is now I have to write an essay, boooooo.

Rate this review. Should I continue in the future with more books reviews? Yay or nay?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Movie Game

I love creating the questions for this game. When I'm at work I think about what movies to use and I am excited when I think of a good one. How long do you all spend on trying to answer these questions, a few minutes or all day? I would spend all day thinking about them to get the answers, I love trivia and games!! Enough about me, on to the rules. Remember please only send your answers in an EMAIL, do not put your answers in a comment, don't ruin it for others playing too.

If you have never played before, well read ahead...

I present you with two movies, for example: Independence Day and U.S. Marshalls. The object of the game is to link them together using another movie by connecting the actors/actresses. The link in this case is Men In Black using Will Smith from Independence Day and Tommy Lee Jones from U.S. Marshalls.
Now they all aren't this easy and sometimes there are multiple answers. The questions range from easy to hard and sometimes I like to throw in a challenging one to test those true movie buffs. You earn points for correct answers and I keep track of every one's points on the side of my blog. There is going to be a prize awarded to the winner. I haven't said what it is yet or how long the game is running. That will be a surprise. GOOD LUCK!!


Easy - Link: Doc Hollywood & The Addams Family (movie)

Medium - Link: Reindeer Games & Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Hard - Link: Full Metal Jacket & Dirty Work

Challenge - Link: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines & Hulk (2003) & Anaconda

Answers will be posted on Friday morning. Screw on those thinking caps.

Email answers to: Reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com

Right Turn Clyde

It has been awhile since I did any sort of crazy rant. Most of my rantings have been about driving and this one isn't any different. Why do people suck at driving? This is the question I pose at you.

Is it because I live in New York and there are more assholish drivers here? Why do people feel the need to ride my ass on some back road where the speed limit is 30 and I'm going 35? Nobody has any patience anymore. Where is every one headed in such a god damn hurry?

And for Pete's sake people, learn how to use a friggin' turn signal. Is it really that hard to flip a bar up or down? Is humanity this lazy or was nobody properly taught how to operate a motor vehicle with respect to others? If you are making a left turn, signaling 1.3 seconds before you do it is not enough time.

I wrote this in another post but there should be a law that requires you to retake your driver's test every 5-10 years or so to cut down on the amount of assholes out there.

It is getting to become a rarity that I come across courteous drivers. People are getting more and more selfish and inconsiderate of every one else. Did we not learn the Golden Rule in elementary school? This rule applies to every aspect of our lives.

Is this just me or does every state have this many dumbass drivers? Speak to me my fellow bloggers (I find it funny that Blogger underlines 'bloggers' as not being a word).

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Trivia Corner #13 Answer

Jumbo the Elephant, of Barnum & Bailey Circus fame. After Jumbo died in a train accident in 1885, showman P.T. Barnum had him stuffed and in 1889 donated him to Tufts, where he became the university mascot. When fire destroyed the mammoth mascot in 1975, his ashes were put in a peanut butter jar and kept for good luck for the university's sports teams, which are known as the Jumbos

Monday, April 5, 2010

Better than the Oscars and Grammys








I received some awards from T.S. at The Non-Review last week. I love awards, they make me so warm and fuzzy inside. I wish they were tangible and I could put them on my mantle for my whole family to see, that would show them I'm talented. I'm not sure if there are rules to these awards but I will pass them on to some blogs nonetheless.

I want to award some blogs that I didn't last time I gave out awards (if I can remember). Here are the winners, maybe they are in some order and maybe they are not (I'm not telling).

1. Ally @ Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

2. Nippy the Penguin @ Crazy Penguin Ramblings

3. Pat @ Patrick Tillett

4. G. Older Man @ Older and Learning

5. Lisa Marie @ The Domestication of a Party Girl

6. Samantha @ Apple Juice and Milk

7. Darrin @ Dads Dish Retro Blog

8. Bendigo @ Bendigo's Rage

9. Geof @ Enter the Man-Cave

Congrats everybody, you are all awesome in your own distinctive way. You can take them both or take one. You can pass them along to others or just accept the award. Do what you wish.

Trivia Corner #13

As always please email me your answers. Don't be an ass and spoil it for the rest of the world by putting your answer in a comment. It's not that difficult to send an email. Email answer to reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com

The remains of what famous animal are kept in a peanut butter jar at Tufts University?


Don't forget that you still get points for trying and creativity!

Friday, April 2, 2010

And you thought your life was rough...

I wish I could take credit for this post but I found it in Maxim. I thought it was pretty funny so I had to share.


A day in the life of Mr. Met. The saddest guy in baseball.




7:05 A.M. Wake up and roll out of bed... and down the steps. Why did I buy a split-level house?

8:00 A.M. Masturbate to Rawlings glove catalog.

8:15 A.M. Play a little MLB 2K9 on the Wii. Pick my favorite team, the Yankees.

9:00 A.M
. Watch the movie Old Yeller to cheer self up after thinking about Mets 2009 season.

11:00 A.M. Put finishing touches on new Mets catch phrase for 2010: "Slightly More Exciting Than the WNBA!"

12:30 P.M. Play rock, paper, scissors with GM Omar Minaya to determine 2010 starting lineup.

1:00 P.M. Encourage Mets to have a teamwide steroids scandal in order to cover the shame of the upcoming season.

1:30 P.M.
Have lunch with Mrs. Met. Ask her about the Phillie Phanatic hairs found on the bed. And on the washing machine. And,oddly, in the chimney flue.

3:15 P.M. Plead with baseball commissioner Bud Selig to let Mets bat with large canoe oars.

4:00 P.M.
Line player uniforms with bubble wrap to help prevent injuries.

4:30 P.M. Visit sick kids and apologize for 2009 season. Get pelted with bedpans. Full bedpans.

5:00 P.M. Call Mrs. Met and ask her about those Billy the Marlin scales found in the backseat of the car. And on the hood. And all over the tire jack.

5:30 P.M.
Ask Citi Field to host hard liquor night to help fans forget.

8:05 P.M. Slip into Snuggie, pour a glass of white wine, and watch the 1986 World Series highlight tape in the fetal position.

11:30 P.M.
Crawl into bed with Mrs. Met...and, surprisingly, Colorado Rockies mascot Dinger, who said he just lost a contact. Though that doesn't explain why he was naked. Oh, well.

The Movie Game Answers

I need to find more specific movie game answers. I picked movies that had multiple answers again. I am awarding extra points for those that got the answers I chose. You will still get points for correct answers regardless if they were mine.


Easy - Link: The Fast and the Furious & Shaft
XXX (Vin Diesel & Samuel L. Jackson)

Medium - Link: Fight Club & Knockaround Guys
25th Hour (Edward Norton & Barry Pepper)

Hard - Link: Stepmom & Home Alone
Igby Goes Down (Susan Sarandon & Kieran Culkin)

Challenge - Link: Donnie Darko & Almost Famous & The Good Son
Saved (Jena Malone, Patrick Fugit & Macaulay Culkin)

Saved could be an answer for the hard question as well using Jena Malone & Macaulay Culkin. Asblackasobama pointed that out. I definitely need to research these answers better. Here are other answers that worked: Burn After Reading, Gone Fishin', Pollock, True Romance and The Pelican Brief. There are probably others as well. Don't forget to check the standings.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Q & A responses

Here are the questions and responses from last week's Q & A. My answers to the questions I received are here too. Thanks to everyone that participated. If you didn't get to play, feel free to answer the questions this time around.


1. Would you rather have 10,000 followers but no one left a comment or only one follower that commented on everything you wrote? And why?

2. Which Muppet baby would you want to be and why?

3. Would you rather be attractive & dumb or ugly & smart?

4. Do you make any money blogging?

5. Ask me a question.



Pat Tillett said...

Damn... I just wrote the answers and the window closed...

1. 10,000. If I had 10,000 followers I think there would be more than one reader. If I just had one follower and he always commented. I'd save us both the trouble and call him everyday.

2. Kermit

3. Smart and dumb. Unfortunately, I'm stuck somewhere in the middle.

4. No, but I'm not opposed to it.

5. Have you made money with your blog?


Nippy The Penguin said...

hmm lets see,

1. 10,000 because its an even number.

2. Animal no doubt about it, ANIMAL! nuff said.

3.Definitely smart and Ugly as I have been that way my whole life and am accustomed to it.

4. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


Copyboy said...

1. First one has me stumped. Followers? Commenters? A toughie.

2. Animal. You need a reason?

3. Eccentric

4. I wish

5. Why do I suck at your movie game?


ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

1. Would that be 10,000 followers who click on ads? I agree with Pat.... If you have 10,000 followers, at least some of them are going to read your stuff. But I do appreciate and love the comments I get on my posts....

2. Fozzie Bear.... Wakka Wakka!

3. Ugly and Smart....

4. Not yet.... In good time sir, in good time....

5. Do you plan on living in New York for the rest of your life?


Powdered Toast Man said....

1. I would rather 10,000 followers. That one commenter might suck.

2. I would be Gonzo, he's weird and funny.

3. Ugly and smart, there's always plastic surgery. You can't fix stupid.

To Pat: No I have not made any money with my blog. I would like to. I think I'm up to like $15 with the Adsense (you don't get paid til $100)

To Nippy: A woodchuck could chuck as much wood as Peter Piper could pick a peck of pickled peppers.

To Copyboy: You suck at my movie game because you are not eating your wheaties.

To Asblackasobama: I like New York but it's ultimately too expensive to live here after I get married and start a family. I don't know where I would move to.

Weird Laws: Part IV

It's time for some amusing laws, with your host, me.

INDIANA

It is illegal to inhale glue fumes. That's no fun. What are the 5-9 year olds going to do during recess?

It is illegal for a liquor store to sell candy. Now the real question is, is a candy store allowed to sell liquor?

IOWA

Tanning salons are required to post warnings about sunburns.
Underneath the warning you can choose from original or extra crispy.

In Cedar Rapids, it is illegal to tell fortunes.
Is that origami game that kids play with the numbers on it that is folded up many times count? You know what I'm talking about, I don't know what that is called.

KANSAS

In Derby it is illegal to damage vending machines.
If I don't get my snickers bar then that vending machine is cruisin' for a bruisin' (who's mom said this to them?).

In Overland Park it is illegal to picket funerals.I'm imagining a crowd with signs marching around the coffin chanting "burn his ass,burn his ass."

KENTUCKY

Any person who interferes with a public speech can be fined up to $500. What if it's a bad speech, can I not throw the tomatoes I brought?

It is illegal to sell dyed chicks unless you are selling more than 6 of them.
Are we talking baby chickens or live women? Either way I can't afford more than 6.

LOUISIANA

Fake boxing or wrestling matches are against the law.
Vince McMahon must hate Louisiana.

It is illegal to make insulting remarks to a contestant at a boxing match.
How else am I going to distract him? I got a lot of money riding on that match. It best not be a fake boxing match they are talking about or someone is in trouble.