In Carrizozo it is forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public. There must be a lot of streaking going on in that town.
In Deming persons may not spit on the steps of the opera house. Vomiting, urinating and defecating are perfectly okay.
In Deming hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. Take your zombie hunting to another cemetery.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. Dammit, I thought my topless car wash idea was genius.
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. What is the fine for dressing up your penis as Abraham Lincoln and walking around naked?
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. What if I'm just dong it out of boredom?
The mere possession of a lottery ticket is illegal and may result in a $2,000 fine. If I'm a winner do I still get to keep the money?
It is against the law to sing off key. Britney Spears better stay our of NC.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. Just imagine how much they could fertilize the fields as they plow.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. So you are saying I need to sleep standing up if I want to keep my shoes on?
Beer and pretzels may not be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant. Beer and pretzels are like coke and pop rocks to them.
It is illegal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. This law only applies if you are playing the game Oregon Trail.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
I have taken six 2-word phrases traditionally found on those little candy hearts and changed one letter in each word in each phrase, but kept the order of the letters and the order of the words the same. Can you figure out all the original sayings?
1) BY MILE
2) TREE DOVE
3) SLEET TALE
4) CREAM GILL
5) BEAN HOG
6) FOUL GATE
ANSWERS (Right click and highlight with mouse to reveal answers)
1) BE MINE
2) TRUE LOVE
3) SWEET TALK
4) DREAM GIRL
5) BEAR HUG
6) SOUL MATE
Posted by Powdered Toast Man at 7:00 AM
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I thought up this idea mid December but never got around to writing it. Better late than never. If a Christmas Tree and a Hanukkah Menorah ever crossed paths. Things a Christmas Tree might say to a Hanukkah Menorah
Do these ornaments make me look gay?
Every year I tell them no tinsel, but do they listen to me?
If I had the ability to urinate, I would take a leak on all these presents.
At least at the end of you holiday you get to be blown.
You know my cousin Sal was the tree in Rockefellar Center last year, no joke.
Do you know where I can get one of those hats your people wear?
If I hear those damn kids sing that Jingle Bells song again I will burn this mother down.
Are you giving me the finger?
Oh no!! I'm losing all my needles. I knew this day would come.
So do you know the deal behind the Easter Bunny and hiding eggs?
Have you seen Passion of the Christ yet? Man, they really gave it to that Jesus dude.
I can't hear them but I know all those trees out there are laughing at me.
I don't like the way that cat is looking at me.
Posted by Powdered Toast Man at 10:37 PM