Thursday, April 29, 2010

Chili's review

First off, by a show of hands, who hasn't been to Chili's? Really, that many of you? It's like an Applebee's but better. Nicole and I dine at Chili's about once a month, it's our favorite place to eat. They have tasty food, reasonable prices and it's only a short 10/15 minute drive over to the giant red pepper.

One of the tastiest menu items are the Texas Cheese Fries which have been named the worst fries in America, not worst tasting but worst in health. These bad boys contain 1,920 calories, 147 grams of fat, and 3,580 mg of sodium but I don't care because they make my tummy monster happy and I don't want him to be angry. Even a half order has 1400 calories.

They are always running some great deals. A few months ago they had 2 for $20 which included one appetizer, two entrees and one dessert. Recently they had one appetizer and one entree for $9.99 which is similar to 2 for $20 except you swap a dessert for an appetizer. I thought 2 for $20 was the shit when they were advertising it. The only real catch is that the apps and entrees are limited to only certain menu selections but beggars can't be choosers (or another cliche/saying that fits).

One of my favorite underrated food item is the honey mustard. I use this as my dipping sauce instead of ketchup when I go out and I love the honey mustard at Chili's especially with fries. I would dip my shoes in honey mustard if those were the only 2 things I had to eat. The problem is that you can't get honey mustard in the supermarkets like they have in restaurants and diners. I don't know who is behind this mystery but I want some answers!!

Waiter's Thoughts:

I've got a turtle head poking out and I don't know if I can make it to the bathroom in time.

Why are these horses talking gibberish? I shouldn't of dropped acid on my break.

I wonder if they can tell that part of their Texas Cheese Fries order is missing? Do I have a piece of bacon on my lip?

I hope that chick I nailed last night didn't have crabs, I am so itchy.

Shit! Did he just catch me looking down her shirt?

If I don't get a good tip, I swear I will karate chop him in the neck.

I wonder what Spongebob is up to today?

I probably should be writing down their order instead of scratching my ass.

If only they knew what is really in the honey mustard.

"Life is like a hurricane, Here in Duckburg, Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, It's a Duck-blur, Might solve a mystery, Or rewrite history, DuckTales, oooh ooooh......"


My favorite baby back rib song sung by Fat Bastard.

8 comments:

TS Hendrik said...

LOL, I too wonder what Spongbob is up to.

I've never been to a Chilis. I've had food brought back from one, but I've never been.

Angie said...

There isn't a Chili's near here... in fact I'm not sure there are any in Canada, which is upsetting because we get the delicious looking commercials but can't get no satisfaction.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I could have bought a new Coach purse for the $$$ I have spent buying different honey mustard in supermarkets!!!

Applebees had the best and then they changed and now I love Friday's mustard.

And then Outback has amazing loaded fries as well, with this Ranch dip that I drool over.

Hey, maybe I eat out just for the condiments?

Bossy Betty said...

Get to the bottom of that honey mustard thing! No, no, not the container! The mystery!

Ally said...

Chain restaurants are the devil, so don't tell anyone that I go to them, okay? We like Chili's the best too. So bad, but so good :)

adrienzgirl said...

I like Chili's. We don't go there often, but I do enjoy it when we go! :D

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

I like Chili's too.... I haven't been since we moved to our new apartment, but they're chicken tenders are great!

Did Nicole add the waiters thoughts again?

Sara said...

I agree about the honey mustard thing. I think restaurants add little stray kittens to the mix to add flavor. That's why we can't find it in the supermarkets!

Damn secret recipes.

Btw, if I could, I would dip everything in taziki sauce.