Chili's review

First off, by a show of hands, who hasn't been to Chili's? Really, that many of you? It's like an Applebee's but better. Nicole and I dine at Chili's about once a month, it's our favorite place to eat. They have tasty food, reasonable prices and it's only a short 10/15 minute drive over to the giant red pepper.

One of the tastiest menu items are the Texas Cheese Fries which have been named the worst fries in America, not worst tasting but worst in health. These bad boys contain 1,920 calories, 147 grams of fat, and 3,580 mg of sodium but I don't care because they make my tummy monster happy and I don't want him to be angry. Even a half order has 1400 calories.

They are always running some great deals. A few months ago they had 2 for $20 which included one appetizer, two entrees and one dessert. Recently they had one appetizer and one entree for $9.99 which is similar to 2 for $20 except you swap a dessert for an appetizer. I thought 2 for $20 was the shit when they were advertising it. The only real catch is that the apps and entrees are limited to only certain menu selections but beggars can't be choosers (or another cliche/saying that fits).

One of my favorite underrated food item is the honey mustard. I use this as my dipping sauce instead of ketchup when I go out and I love the honey mustard at Chili's especially with fries. I would dip my shoes in honey mustard if those were the only 2 things I had to eat. The problem is that you can't get honey mustard in the supermarkets like they have in restaurants and diners. I don't know who is behind this mystery but I want some answers!!

Waiter's Thoughts:

I've got a turtle head poking out and I don't know if I can make it to the bathroom in time.

Why are these horses talking gibberish? I shouldn't of dropped acid on my break.

I wonder if they can tell that part of their Texas Cheese Fries order is missing? Do I have a piece of bacon on my lip?

I hope that chick I nailed last night didn't have crabs, I am so itchy.

Shit! Did he just catch me looking down her shirt?

If I don't get a good tip, I swear I will karate chop him in the neck.

I wonder what Spongebob is up to today?

I probably should be writing down their order instead of scratching my ass.

If only they knew what is really in the honey mustard.

"Life is like a hurricane, Here in Duckburg, Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, It's a Duck-blur, Might solve a mystery, Or rewrite history, DuckTales, oooh ooooh......"


My favorite baby back rib song sung by Fat Bastard.