PTM: Welcome fellas, glad to have you in the studio today.
Henry: No problem PTM.
Henry: Dude, stop calling me that. That was my character's name. It's been 28 years already, it's played out. Enough is enough.
PTM: I see that there is so animosity between you two.
Henry: Sorry but he is still living in the past. I know that E.T. was a great movie but I have done a lot of other things since 1982.
E.T.: Points glowing finger at Henry.
Henry: Do not touch me with that thing. I don't know where it has been. I'm pretty sure you have alien finger herpes.
PTM: Don't you think you are being a little hard on him?
Henry: No, he does this all the time. I can't go anywhere without him acting like this.
PTM: You two are still close?
Henry: Unfortunately yes. I ran into him on the street one day, he was homeless so I did the humane thing and let him stay with me until he got back on his feet. That was three years ago.
PTM: So E.T., why haven't you been able to get back on your feet yet?
E.T.: E.T. phone home.
PTM: Do you need to make a call? We are in the middle of our interview.
Henry: Don't play into his mind games. He likes to annoy me by slipping into his E.T. character.
PTM: Do either of you keep in touch with Drew Barrymore?
Henry: We get together a few times a year to catch up on old times and what's new. Drew has a restraining order against bozo here. He's not allowed within 250 feet of her. He got a little too touchy-feely during a cast reunion 5 years ago. It's sad really.
PTM: I never heard about any of this. They must have kept in under wraps.
Henry: Yeah, Steven Spielberg didn't want the press to catch wind of it and have his movie tarnished at all. Frankly I don't give a shit anymore. I'm tired of this bum.
PTM: E.T., do you have anything to say to Henry? He seems to have a real problem with you.
E.T.: FUCK YOU HENRY!!
Henry: Fuck me? Why don't you go probe yourself, you piece of shit.
PTM: Whoa, watch the language, this is a family show
Henry jumps out of his chair and dropkicks E.T. to the floor.
PTM: Well that is all the time we have for our show. Tune in next time to see who we will have next.