Thursday, September 9, 2010

Missed Connections

Have you ever wondered if the 'Missed Connections' on Craigslist ever get a response? Here are some real missed connections with responses that may or may not be real.

Beautiful woman at the Labor Day Parade - m4w (Bienville Square/Mobile)

I saw you today and was just in aww! You were wearing khaki capri pants, white blouse and had blonde hair. It was you, your daughter and apparently your mom and dad accompanying you. Your dad was wearing a orange magellan shirt. You and your mom were pushing your daughter around in a fisher price red wagon. Your smile was extremely attractive and I found myself staring while you were playing with your daughter . I wanted to approach you but couldn't find the courage to do so. I can kick myself now for not doing so, I hate missing out on such things. Anyway, if anyone knows this lovely lady I would love to talk with her... You never know, we may just hit it off.


Dear Attention-to-detail,

I would love to meet up with you and talk about my smile. Is it okay that I have a penis? Respond back ASAP.


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Hottie working at Ruby Tuesday's sunday night - m4w - 26 (Fairhope, Alabama)

This is to the gorgeous blonde working sunday night at Ruby Tuesday's in Fairhope. I thought you were beautiful and couldn't take my eyes off you. We made eye contact several times, but I never had the opportunity to talk to you. Seeing that I just moved to Fairhope and don't know anyone yet, it would've been nice had we been able to talk and maybe hang out sometime. But, the stars did not align tonight, hopefully another time. If you see this, I was the guy sitting by myself by the bar, near where you entered the kitchen. Here's hoping you see this or it gets to you somehow.


Dear Desperate-for-Affection,


I wasn't trying to make eye contact with you. I was just really curious to know why you were wearing that helicopter hat at the bar. I kept looking over to see if I knew you. I would say come back and talk to me but you were also wearing galoshes and it wasn't raining. That's number 17 on the turn-offs list. Sorry.

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Dawes/Cottage Hill Walmart - w4m - 23 (West Mobile)

hate walmart with a passion, but had to stop in for an item or two (which turned into more like 8 or so items.)

I was in line behind you at checkout number 09 around 7:20pm, and you noticed I was holding my few items. You allowed me to go ahead of you.

While this was just a simple kind gesture, it meant a lot to me, and I was sincere in my thank yous. I wanted to talk to you while we waited, but unfortunately could think of nothing remotely interesting to say, even with the added help of your company logo on your workshirt.

You had a kind smile, and wnated you to know that you made a great, lasting impression. (You also made the dreaded Walmart trip much more pleasant than normal.)

I don't know if you are single (though I didn't see a ring) or if you even care at all, but I do hope to run into you again if I am forced to go to walmart against my will, haha!

If you do happen to see this and can tell me your workplace or why I said it was probably better for me to wait in line, I'd love to talk to you again.


Dear Walmart Hater
,

I have to confess some things to you. I don't work at Chippendales, I stole the shirt from a novelty store. Also, I am homeless. I actually live in the Walmart, the manager is cool and lets me crash there until I can get back on my feet again. I'm lonely so I usually just wait in line and let people ahead of me so I can talk with them. Last night I masturbated to an image of you running around the store in just a Walmart apron. I hope all this doesn't affect our future. I will be here everyday for awhile. I hope you come back and see me.


16 comments:

Summer Ross said...

LOL, wow- "is it okay if I have a penis" LOL great post

Guilty of Gossip said...

I didn't even know this was a legit section of CL- but i love it now!
'Is it okay I have a penis?' bahahhahha great.

TS Hendrik said...

HAHA! Good stuff man. Though that last one disturbed more than a little.

Baby Sister said...

Lol!! That is just hilarious!!

Sherri said...

Hi
I have often wondered about those things. I've read them before. lol
Great stuff here.
Now following you

Sherri

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Safe to say most of those people aren't going to connect...

Hart Johnson said...

So, being a married recluse and all, I have a question. Is m4w man looking for woman? married for whipping? Mated for waxing?

Great responses to these fruitcakes... I mean... I'm sure people send these to me all the time, but as I didn't KNOW about it... *shifty*

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

A perfect response to the Walmart Hater, PTM. I was thinking that she probably has big jugs, else he wouldn't have wanted to reconnect.
Cheers,
xoRobyn

Shannon said...

All of these are incredibly well structured and succinct - is it safe to assume that you've edited and spell checked every last one?

margg. said...

you're hilarious.

but, i must admit.
i have replied to some of these before, in the same humorous manner.

the things you do when you're bored!

Marlene said...

LOL!!! Your answers are classical!

passionofthemom said...

LMAO Classic PTM...;) Definitely something interesting to end my FUBAR day on, so thank you!

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! That is too great. I hope that woman at the parade was not my wife. Great responses.

Pat Tillett said...

HILARIOUS!!!
I needed that...

Debbie said...

These are great! And yes, that "I have a penis" one is a bit freaky.

Momma Fargo said...

Great post! Made me laugh my ass off.