Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Battle of the Cereal Mascots: Round One

Thank you to everyone that voted on last week's cereal mascot ballot. It is clear who the favorites are in the cereal world. I am saddened to announce that the Waffle Crisp Granny and Mikey from Life cereal did not receive a single vote. To cheer her up (in hope that she doesn't die from depression) I am letting Waffle Crisp Granny be the special guest referee in today's match.

I have used random.org to pick today's combatants. In the red corner we have Snap, Crackle and Pop from Rice Krispies and in the blue corner we have Count Chocula from Count Chocula. "What's that Count, you want a brown corner? I don't pick the colors, that's how these boxing rings are made. And no there are no chocolate breaks. Stop lolly gagging and get in there with those elves!"

To make this a fair fight, Snap, Crackle and Pop are going to tag team. They are not allowed to all fight at once. Doing so will result in immediate disqualification. Let the battle begin!! (Please cast your vote for Snap, Crackle & Pop or Count Chocula)

(Interview in the locker room before the fight)
Powdered Toast Man (PTM): So the world wants to know, are you three brothers?
Snap: No, Crackle is my uncle and Pop is my 3rd cousin twice removed.
PTM: That's weird you all look the same age.
Crackle: Dude we are magical, we don't age. I'm almost 150 years old.
PTM: Speaking of magic, do you guys hang out with the Keebler Elves?
Pop: F@ck no!! Those guys are drug dealers. That cookie tree is just a front for a major coke factory. One time they accidentally baked up some Fudge Stripes with pure coke instead of flour.
PTM: No wonder my Gamma is addicted to those things. And Pop could you watch the language, this is a family show.
Pop: (Flips PTM the bird) Go fart on some toast, douchebag.
PTM: Ouch.

(Interview in the lounge before the fight)
PTM: So how are Frankenberry and Booberry doing these days?
Count: I haven't seen those guys in years. We kind of had a falling out. Something about who was more popular in High School or something stupid like that.
PTM: That's a shame, they seem like nice guys.
Count: They didn't want anyone to know this but I don't care anymore, Frank and Boo were lovers at one point. I was shocked when Boo told me and a little jealous. I always thought Frank was cute.
PTM: Okay then, let's change the subject. Do you have anything against Snap, Crackle and Pop?
Count: I do love their Cocoa Krispies but they kind of freak me out. They are like miniature versions of Hanson.
PTM: Mmm bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dopBa du. Dammit Count!!!

Time to cast your vote. Who is top dog in this round? Only you can prevent forest fires.....er I mean only you can decide. Polls close on Sunday at 11:59 PM. The next round will commence next Tuesday, don't miss it!!


Teachinfourth said...

Wait, is this for who we want to win or lose? In either case I don't like any of the mascots. May it be a total bloodbath.

Nippy The Penguin said...

I am gonna have to give my vote to Snap, Crackle and Pop , The Count will get plenty of other supporters I think.

Guilty of Gossip said...

Snap, Crackle, and Pop for sure-
"F@ck no!! THose guys are drug dealers!"

classssssic snap, crackle, and pop- love those guys.

TS Hendrik said...

That Pop has quite a mouth on him. I have to vote for those crazy Rice Krispies guys. Although, I still think Coco the Monkey should have been an option.

He did have the best jingle of all cereal.

"My name's Coco and I swing from the trees, everybody loves my Cocoa Krispies."

Marlene said...

Snap, Crackle & Pop get my vote....they're too freakin' funny not to!! (Besides, anyone who tells someone to go fart on toast gets my vote!)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Count Chocula! Those wimpy little elves don't stand a chance against the forces of dark chocolate.

Daisygirl said...

haha oh Snap and Crackle hands down....they don't need Pop!

The Invisible Seductress said...

Count Chocula please. He blesses my milk with chocolatey goodness.

Anonymous said...

Of course, it is Snap Crackle and Pop! And if I wasn't on vacation I totally would have voted for Mikey because i remember that commercial and still quote it often!

Pat Tillett said...

Count Chocula...He has a sinister air about him, that no other mascot has. He's the Barnabus Collins of the cereal world...

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I can't believe that Snap, Crackle, and Pop are getting all these sympathy votes. Come on, people. Don't you feel for the Count at losing Frankenberry to Booberry? Frankenberry is kind of cute, afterall. Plus, chocolate is way better than no flavor but lots of senseless noise.
Count Chocula!

Gemma said...

Snap crackle and pop all the way!

Hart Johnson said...

Count Chocula OWNS those mamby pamby little elves! I can't believe they'd slander the Keeblers that way! Everyone knows they are just jealous because THEY wanted the Fudge Stripe gig!

Copyboy said...

Wow! I had heard Pop had the drug problem. Way to deny it elf!!

Sebastian Black said...

Crackle can cause some damage, Pop is mostly a wuss, but Snap will take you down--he's the one to watch out for. So even though the Count brings a considerable bite, I think he'll just end up krispy when its all over. KO'd by the Rice-Guys.

Cheeseboy said...

I vote Count Drackula based on taste of cereal alone. Plus, haven't you heard? Vampires are so in right now.

Kal said...

Of all the monster brand cerials I have endored BOO BERRY in all such competitions so Count Chocula is out of luck.

Now I understand that SNAP, CRACKLE, and POP once had another companion named WOW who they beat with shovels and left in the woods. So for their homicidal tendencies and the fact that they can't make a proper decision to save their lives I vote for neither.

And yes I do understand how that misses the whole point of this competition. Now give me someone worthy like Sugar Bear and I will be getting my vote on, baby.

cleemckenzie said...

Let's hope the tag team plays fair!