I like to give advice from time to time, when I have advice worth giving of course. Something, I'm sure many guys are aware of but still need reminding, is that the girlfriend is always right. Now in actuality us guys are usually right but that never works out in our favor. No matter what you are fighting about it's not worth it to be right. You just have to swallow your pride, bite the bullet and say five little words: "Honey you're right, I'm sorry." Girls, you're welcome. Maybe I just averted a few unnecessary fights.
Guys you have to pick your battles. In the long run there is no advantage to being right. Even if you are right, in her eyes you are still wrong and she is still mad at you. Now what do both sides really want? For the fight to be over so you can have some good make-up sex. Really the only reason to put in your two cents is if she cheated on you or something of that nature. But even then being right is still a bad thing.
Stop having stupid fights over meaningless shit. Who cares who is right, it is not worth the agony. As a guy this is really hard to do but we want to make our ladies happy and it's going to involve some sacrifice. Next time you are about to have a fight think about what you really gain for being right....... nothing!!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Joke with a twist
Joke: What do you put in a toaster?
Seems easy enough, right? You are probably thinking toast, well that is wrong. The answer is bread. Toast is what comes out of a toaster. It seemed so easy and then you blew it. Now you are probably going to use this joke on your significant other or little brother. Most people get it wrong unless they actually think for a second. Be sure to call someone a dumbass when they answer with toast. Have fun and don't forget where you got this lame joke.
Seems easy enough, right? You are probably thinking toast, well that is wrong. The answer is bread. Toast is what comes out of a toaster. It seemed so easy and then you blew it. Now you are probably going to use this joke on your significant other or little brother. Most people get it wrong unless they actually think for a second. Be sure to call someone a dumbass when they answer with toast. Have fun and don't forget where you got this lame joke.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saw VI review
I have been waiting for this installment of the Saw movies since the last one disappointed me a little. This one was a tad in a half better than Saw V. The original Saw still trumps them all. Ever since they changed the policy on student discounts for the weekend I now go to the theater either on Sundays or Mondays. I don't have the same urge to go because I think everybody has seen the movie already and now my reviews are going to be written a few days later then I want them to be. Enough with my feelings on ticket prices, you started reading this for some sort of review. And we're off....
Saw VI basically starts off where the last one ends. If you still haven't seen the last one I will try not to ruin it for you. I think that Tobin Bell has some contract with the Saw films. Even though he died in the third one he still manages to make appearances with full dialogue, same for his helper chick (the girl from the show Becker.)
More and more pieces of the puzzle come together and loose ends are tied up. Remember the mystery chest from Saw V that Jigsaw's wife opened but we didn't get to see what was inside? Well they finally reveal the juicy secrets. The contents of the chest revealed that ................... yeah I'm going to be a douche and ruin the movie right here, what do you take me for anyway?
I'd have to say that this one didn't have as much gore as it's predecessors but maybe I'm just getting used to this gruesome shit. The main character is faced with more life altering decisions. The merry-go-shotgun was pretty screwed up, the one from the tv trailers. This review is going nowhere fast and I haven't even told you that much about the movie. Maybe that's what I meant to do so I don't spoil anything, yeah I'm gonna go with that reasoning. They are reviews you can't use, what did you expect?
It's definitely a fucked up movie. Who thinks of this crazy shit anyway? They must consult some serial murderers or they have some seriously disturbed writers on hand. I enjoyed this flick. 3.8/5 stars, don't ask me where I come up with my rating, it just happens.
Oh yeah, there might be a Saw VII.
Saw VI basically starts off where the last one ends. If you still haven't seen the last one I will try not to ruin it for you. I think that Tobin Bell has some contract with the Saw films. Even though he died in the third one he still manages to make appearances with full dialogue, same for his helper chick (the girl from the show Becker.)
More and more pieces of the puzzle come together and loose ends are tied up. Remember the mystery chest from Saw V that Jigsaw's wife opened but we didn't get to see what was inside? Well they finally reveal the juicy secrets. The contents of the chest revealed that ................... yeah I'm going to be a douche and ruin the movie right here, what do you take me for anyway?
I'd have to say that this one didn't have as much gore as it's predecessors but maybe I'm just getting used to this gruesome shit. The main character is faced with more life altering decisions. The merry-go-shotgun was pretty screwed up, the one from the tv trailers. This review is going nowhere fast and I haven't even told you that much about the movie. Maybe that's what I meant to do so I don't spoil anything, yeah I'm gonna go with that reasoning. They are reviews you can't use, what did you expect?
It's definitely a fucked up movie. Who thinks of this crazy shit anyway? They must consult some serial murderers or they have some seriously disturbed writers on hand. I enjoyed this flick. 3.8/5 stars, don't ask me where I come up with my rating, it just happens.
Oh yeah, there might be a Saw VII.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Nostalgia at it's best
Does everybody remember Celebrity Deathmatch? That show was awesome!! What ever happened to it anyway? I caught a marathon on MTV2 last night. In one of the fights Stone Cold Steve Austin killed Vince McMahon with a tombstone after of course he put him out with a stone cold stunner.
It would be cool if Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond were real people, they would make awesome hosts in real life. I thought that the show would make a good video game and I found it for PlayStation 2 but it kinda sucked. There were only a handful of characters and I never understood the controls. It was fun for a day then it got boring. I think I sold it on ebay. I love finding old tv shows. Good times, great oldies.
It would be cool if Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond were real people, they would make awesome hosts in real life. I thought that the show would make a good video game and I found it for PlayStation 2 but it kinda sucked. There were only a handful of characters and I never understood the controls. It was fun for a day then it got boring. I think I sold it on ebay. I love finding old tv shows. Good times, great oldies.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sidewalk Etiquette
Society needs to adopt the laws of the sidewalk. People should learn some sidewalk etiquette. Here in America not only do we drive on the right side of the road but we also walk on the right side in general. I'm tired of walking at the mall or in an amusement park on the correct side and have people walking on the same side directly into me. They never move out of the way either. They end up bumping into you or you have to quickly go around them.
What I hate more is groups of people walking side by side with each other taking up the whole walkway. It's like they are the kick return wedge in a football game and I'm the kicker.
This happened to me last night at school when I was walking on the sidewalk along side of school. A mother and her 2 kids were walking towards me taking up the whole sidewalk, they didn't even move and I was forced onto the grass. Damn people have no respect these days.
If you find yourself in one of these situations, you have my permission to tackle somebody.
What I hate more is groups of people walking side by side with each other taking up the whole walkway. It's like they are the kick return wedge in a football game and I'm the kicker.
This happened to me last night at school when I was walking on the sidewalk along side of school. A mother and her 2 kids were walking towards me taking up the whole sidewalk, they didn't even move and I was forced onto the grass. Damn people have no respect these days.
If you find yourself in one of these situations, you have my permission to tackle somebody.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Who doesn't like a good Riddle?
You enter a cold, dark room holding one match. There is a candle, a gas lantern and a wood burning fireplace in the room. What do you light first?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
OCD much
One of my biggest pet peeves is when a chair or table I'm sitting at/on is wobbly. This is extremely annoying and if you are like me it bothers you to the bitter end. I am always finding myself shimming said chair or table to stop the wobbling. I learned about what shims are in construction. Normally they are a slender piece of wood that is used to make something level or flush.
I never have an actual shim handy so I use whatever is around me. In math class last night I folded up a piece of paper and stuck it under one of the legs of my desk to make it level. I had been sitting at this desk since the beginning of the semester and I couldn't stand it anymore. Problem solved for now, I just hope the paper shim is still there next class. So far; Jamie: one, desk: zero.
I never have an actual shim handy so I use whatever is around me. In math class last night I folded up a piece of paper and stuck it under one of the legs of my desk to make it level. I had been sitting at this desk since the beginning of the semester and I couldn't stand it anymore. Problem solved for now, I just hope the paper shim is still there next class. So far; Jamie: one, desk: zero.
Just another Grievance
Blogging should be about your own ideas and thoughts. I have seen numerous blogs that just post a lot of youtube and music videos. I have a problem with these posts. It's lazy and unoriginal. People take the time to make their own video and certain bloggers are stealing their idea just to have people look at their blog. Anybody can just copy a link and post it. It takes some effort and creativity to make something worthwhile for others to read and comment on. You can't expect people to comment on your blog if you are just stealing other people's work. Now if you are posting your own youtube video then good for you and great promoting idea.
I am guilty of this myself but I think I have only one youtube video clip on my blog and it's a Jim Gaffigan stand up bit. I was just stealing someone else's stolen idea from Gaffigan but I didn't know where else to find the bit.
I take time and effort in coming up with my original posts. These are my ideas and thoughts. If you are going to post someone else's idea then at least write something about it. Tell us why you chose that video and give us some comments on it. There are too many lazy bloggers out there that are just looking for attention. You are ruining it for the rest of us. If you don't have any ideas for a few days then don't post some stupid crap just to post something.
Now there is a difference in posting just a random video with your own catchy title and posting a video because you want to discuss it. I respect people that want to write about something they found and are just using the video as visual evidence.
I know the point of blogging is to write about whatever you want but people need to be more original. I would hate to see blogging turn into just a different form of youtube. How do you feel about this subject?
I am guilty of this myself but I think I have only one youtube video clip on my blog and it's a Jim Gaffigan stand up bit. I was just stealing someone else's stolen idea from Gaffigan but I didn't know where else to find the bit.
I take time and effort in coming up with my original posts. These are my ideas and thoughts. If you are going to post someone else's idea then at least write something about it. Tell us why you chose that video and give us some comments on it. There are too many lazy bloggers out there that are just looking for attention. You are ruining it for the rest of us. If you don't have any ideas for a few days then don't post some stupid crap just to post something.
Now there is a difference in posting just a random video with your own catchy title and posting a video because you want to discuss it. I respect people that want to write about something they found and are just using the video as visual evidence.
I know the point of blogging is to write about whatever you want but people need to be more original. I would hate to see blogging turn into just a different form of youtube. How do you feel about this subject?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Email Correction
Some fellow blogger recently informed me that my email was improperly stated. My email was listed as reviewyoucantuse@gmail.com when it's actually reviewsyoucantuse@gmail.com. I somehow forgot to put the "s" in reviews. The correct change has been made. I'm sorry for any inconvience this has caused to you, my readers. Please feel free to email me whenver you like. Thank you and have a pleasant and fun filled day.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Cutting hurts everyone
For some reason a cut version of Paranormal Activity has been released and is playing instead of the original. The cut version is missing a lot of scenes and it is way too short. I'm hearing from people that the cut version sucks. Why the hell would they do this? The movie was fine the way it was. Was it too scary? Were people actually shitting their pants? This is an outrage!! Well actually I don't care as much because I already saw the movie but it blows for everybody else that had their little heart set on seeing it. Try to find a theater that is still showing the original otherwise wait for a bootleg copy to fall into your hands.
Law Abiding Citizen
Law Abiding Citizen is a cinematic masterpiece. Okay I don't know if it is actually that but it is pretty awesome. My expectations weren't that high going into this flick because IMDB only had it as a 7.5 out of 10. I checked out the votes and some people actually gave it a 1 out of 10, freaking morons!! I would give it 5 out of 5 stars. It blew me away. Usually I can find something about a movie that I didn't like but not this one.
It has a phenomenal storyline and cast. Gerard Butler is really becoming a superb actor. I found myself rooting for him even though he turned out to be the bad guy. Jamie Foxx wasn't too shabby himself as he was trying to figure out Butler's mind games. The death scenes in this movie are crazy, shocking and a little gruesome. You are probably wondering how he continues to kill while he in locked up in prison. Well I would suggest getting to the theater as soon as possible before your friends ruin it for you. There is always that one dick of a friend that tells you the ending. Don't be that friend.
This movie really breaks down our justice system and how it's structure is corrupt and criminals aren't rightly prosecuted. Butler takes matters into his own hands as he takes revenge on his family's murderers and the people that didn't serve them justice. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see who Butler would kill next and how he would accomplish it. F. Gary Gray directs an action packed thrill ride of excitement. F. Gary Gray has another film coming out soon called Armored that looks pretty cool too. Don't wait for the dvd, go see it in the theater. My opinion matters.
It has a phenomenal storyline and cast. Gerard Butler is really becoming a superb actor. I found myself rooting for him even though he turned out to be the bad guy. Jamie Foxx wasn't too shabby himself as he was trying to figure out Butler's mind games. The death scenes in this movie are crazy, shocking and a little gruesome. You are probably wondering how he continues to kill while he in locked up in prison. Well I would suggest getting to the theater as soon as possible before your friends ruin it for you. There is always that one dick of a friend that tells you the ending. Don't be that friend.
This movie really breaks down our justice system and how it's structure is corrupt and criminals aren't rightly prosecuted. Butler takes matters into his own hands as he takes revenge on his family's murderers and the people that didn't serve them justice. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see who Butler would kill next and how he would accomplish it. F. Gary Gray directs an action packed thrill ride of excitement. F. Gary Gray has another film coming out soon called Armored that looks pretty cool too. Don't wait for the dvd, go see it in the theater. My opinion matters.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Fancy Toilet
For some reason I was watching The Tyra Show and some woman was on talking about the new innovations in toilets. What could they add to a toilet that it doesn't already have, internet access? Well apparently there are some high tech toilets out there that make your porcelain bowl look like a shit bucket. In Japan they care a lot about their toilets. This woman from Toto Toilets was demonstrating the features of this high tech toilet. It had a motion sensor seat, night light and was even heated for those cold winter nights. To operate this bad boy there was a giant control panel that I guess would be installed on your wall. A control panel, really, for a toilet?
That's not all folks. Now the next feature is mostly for the ladies however it could work for guys. After you are done doing your business, with a push of a button a spraying wand comes out from under you to clean your private areas. Then after that a blow dryer to dry you off, no more wasting time with toilet paper.
Are we getting that lazy and spoiled as a society that we need fully automated toilets? Don't get me wrong I thought it was pretty cool but get this, it comes with a $5200 price tag. I'll spend 2 or 3 grand on a t.v. but not 5 grand on something that I shit in. Other features included music and sounds for more privacy to cover up when you're dropping a deuce.
I understand the concept, it's more sanitary because you are not actually touching the toilet with your hands and it's more convenient. I don't know about you but the toilet is the last thing I'm worrying about in my house. As long as it flushes, I'm good, if not I'm taking my business in the woods.
That's not all folks. Now the next feature is mostly for the ladies however it could work for guys. After you are done doing your business, with a push of a button a spraying wand comes out from under you to clean your private areas. Then after that a blow dryer to dry you off, no more wasting time with toilet paper.
Are we getting that lazy and spoiled as a society that we need fully automated toilets? Don't get me wrong I thought it was pretty cool but get this, it comes with a $5200 price tag. I'll spend 2 or 3 grand on a t.v. but not 5 grand on something that I shit in. Other features included music and sounds for more privacy to cover up when you're dropping a deuce.
I understand the concept, it's more sanitary because you are not actually touching the toilet with your hands and it's more convenient. I don't know about you but the toilet is the last thing I'm worrying about in my house. As long as it flushes, I'm good, if not I'm taking my business in the woods.
Who wants movie advice?
I created a movie advice column over a month ago thinking it would be fun to share my opinions with people. I wanted people to email a movie they wanted to see and I would give them my review on it. My review would be humorous, random and probably not as helpful as a real review but it would be entertaining. Unfortunately no one has bothered to shoot me an email. On the side bar of my blog on the left it shows my email address and short description of my advice idea.
I guess other people aren't into movies as much as I am. This blog was mainly going to be about movies but it contains mostly random ideas and thoughts instead. Do I have any movie buffs that read my blog? Be the first one to receive a zany, entertaining review from Powdered Toast Man. Someone needs to get the ball rolling. There might be a prize incentive involved.........
I guess other people aren't into movies as much as I am. This blog was mainly going to be about movies but it contains mostly random ideas and thoughts instead. Do I have any movie buffs that read my blog? Be the first one to receive a zany, entertaining review from Powdered Toast Man. Someone needs to get the ball rolling. There might be a prize incentive involved.........
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Ooooo that smell, can't you smell that smell?
If you smelled really bad would you want someone to tell you? There is a new guy at work, let's call him Burt and he reeks of something fowl. I'm not sure if he doesn't believe in deodorant or he is coming from another job that requires him to bathe in fecal matter but he needs to take a long shower pronto. I had to work next to this man the other night and I could not stand his stench. I stayed as far away from him after I felt the nausea kick in. I can't pinpoint the smell but it kind of smells like really bad B.O. If by some miracle he reads this post I hope he gets my subtle hints.
On another unrelated note, do they make adult footsie pajamas? Remember the days when you sported the zip-up cloth body suit? I was told by somebody that they do make footsie pajamas for adults. Who is wearing these things? They cannot be fashionable although I would wear them around the house cause I'm always misplacing my slippers. I love slippers. They make boot slippers now. Need to get me a pair of those.
I have a somewhat good idea. The feet should be removable by like a zipper, snaps or velcro. I haven't figured out what would work the best though. I believe the zipper would be difficult and annoying and the velcro might lose it's stickiness after too many times through the wash. I think snaps would be the best option. I know my feet would probably get all hot and sweaty so I would need to give them some air by taking off the feet for a second. You can go and steal this idea if you want, I don't think it will actually catch on but if it does I get some of the profits.
These are things I think of when I'm at work to pass the time. My head is full of zany ideas. Let's make footsie pajamas happen for adults. To the drawing board!!
On another unrelated note, do they make adult footsie pajamas? Remember the days when you sported the zip-up cloth body suit? I was told by somebody that they do make footsie pajamas for adults. Who is wearing these things? They cannot be fashionable although I would wear them around the house cause I'm always misplacing my slippers. I love slippers. They make boot slippers now. Need to get me a pair of those.
I have a somewhat good idea. The feet should be removable by like a zipper, snaps or velcro. I haven't figured out what would work the best though. I believe the zipper would be difficult and annoying and the velcro might lose it's stickiness after too many times through the wash. I think snaps would be the best option. I know my feet would probably get all hot and sweaty so I would need to give them some air by taking off the feet for a second. You can go and steal this idea if you want, I don't think it will actually catch on but if it does I get some of the profits.
These are things I think of when I'm at work to pass the time. My head is full of zany ideas. Let's make footsie pajamas happen for adults. To the drawing board!!
Here's a Joke
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Mr. Rabbit do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replies, "No I don't, Mr. Bear." So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.
Paranormal Activity
Holy crap!! That movie gave me the heebie jeebies. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I went to see Paranormal Activity last night. I didn't know anything about it, my girlfriend Nicole wanted to see this flick. The closest theater it was playing in was at the Poughkeepsie Galleria, so we took the road trip up route 9. First we stopped off at Chili's across the street for my some dinner. We took advantage of the new 3 courses for $20 deal. Well worth it, I got the Cajun chicken pasta, which was delicious and Nicole got the buffalo chicken ranch sandwich, also delicious. Always a good time at Chili's (Chili's plug, I want a free dinner now.)
The movie had a Blair Witch feel to it. It was shot on a handheld camera by this dude Micah, weird name, I thought so too. The movie was basically a random series of paranormal events over a span of 2-3 weeks that happened to this couple Katie and Micah. She was being stalked her whole life by this spirit or haunting and he wanted to have proof on tape. Half of me thinks it could be true and the other half thinks it's Hollywood bullshit.
It was set up to be a true events type story. It scared the hell out of me. I can't stop thinking about what took place in that movie. The scenes just keep flashing through my mind. I checked the backseat of my car before I got in it and once again before I started driving. I got the Ghostbusters on speed dial if anything should go down.
I didn't believe in demons and ghosts before but I think I do now. I want to talk about a scene or two but I don't want to ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it yet. I'd be pissed if someone spoiled the movie for me, I won't be a hypocrite.....this time.
It's not playing in all theaters so you might have to do some research. I definitely recommend this one if you want to almost shit your pants. Nicole had a ninja death grip of my arm because she was so frightened. I'm not going to sleep anytime soon............fucking demon ghosts!!
The movie had a Blair Witch feel to it. It was shot on a handheld camera by this dude Micah, weird name, I thought so too. The movie was basically a random series of paranormal events over a span of 2-3 weeks that happened to this couple Katie and Micah. She was being stalked her whole life by this spirit or haunting and he wanted to have proof on tape. Half of me thinks it could be true and the other half thinks it's Hollywood bullshit.
It was set up to be a true events type story. It scared the hell out of me. I can't stop thinking about what took place in that movie. The scenes just keep flashing through my mind. I checked the backseat of my car before I got in it and once again before I started driving. I got the Ghostbusters on speed dial if anything should go down.
I didn't believe in demons and ghosts before but I think I do now. I want to talk about a scene or two but I don't want to ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it yet. I'd be pissed if someone spoiled the movie for me, I won't be a hypocrite.....this time.
It's not playing in all theaters so you might have to do some research. I definitely recommend this one if you want to almost shit your pants. Nicole had a ninja death grip of my arm because she was so frightened. I'm not going to sleep anytime soon............fucking demon ghosts!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Riddle me this
There is a hole that is 3 feet wide, 4 feet long and
7 feet deep.
How much dirt is in the hole?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Wet & Shiny
I recently took a trip up to Fishkill to get my car washed at the Foam & Wash. It's a pretty sweet set up there if you haven't been. It's totally automated, no employees to annoy you. You just put in your cash like a vending machine or swipe your plastic and enter the bay at your own risk. There aren't even any stupid tracks you have to drive onto. Just some red and green lights to tell you when to halt or proceed. After the wash it's time to vacuum and shampoo the inside of your car. FANC-Y!
There are also 4 or 5 other bays with all the necessary equipment in case you want to manually wash your car. Lots of doodads and gizmos to play with, I used the foaming wheel and tire brush along with the high pressure water wand. Got the Monte Carlo all shined up and no place to go.
One thing I thought was kinda odd is that it's a 24 hour car wash. Tell me who is washing their car at 3 in the morning? Drug dealers that are also neat freaks? Out of all the things that could be open 24 hours a day, I don't think a car wash makes that list. Rarely do I get the urge to get my car wet at the late hours of the night, usually there is only one thing I urge to get wet........ if you catch my drift. Hell maybe that's the new hangout spot where all the cool kids go to smoke and freestyle. Did they get kicked out of the Shell station again?
I want to go up there at 2 or 3 am to see who is actually washing their car. I will interview them and make it the follow up to this post. Will hilarity ensue? Find out next time: same bat time, same bat channel.
There are also 4 or 5 other bays with all the necessary equipment in case you want to manually wash your car. Lots of doodads and gizmos to play with, I used the foaming wheel and tire brush along with the high pressure water wand. Got the Monte Carlo all shined up and no place to go.
One thing I thought was kinda odd is that it's a 24 hour car wash. Tell me who is washing their car at 3 in the morning? Drug dealers that are also neat freaks? Out of all the things that could be open 24 hours a day, I don't think a car wash makes that list. Rarely do I get the urge to get my car wet at the late hours of the night, usually there is only one thing I urge to get wet........ if you catch my drift. Hell maybe that's the new hangout spot where all the cool kids go to smoke and freestyle. Did they get kicked out of the Shell station again?
I want to go up there at 2 or 3 am to see who is actually washing their car. I will interview them and make it the follow up to this post. Will hilarity ensue? Find out next time: same bat time, same bat channel.
Will the real Chuck Norris please stand up
For fun, type Find Chuck Norris into Google and click on "I'm feeling lucky."
And if for some reason you have been living in a cave for the past few years you should check out: ChuckNorrisFacts
Did Chuck Norris approve this stuff? If he did than he is more awesome than Walker Texas Ranger. Wait, Chuck didn't approve this post, will he find out about it? I'm kind of scared.............he's everywhere!!
And if for some reason you have been living in a cave for the past few years you should check out: ChuckNorrisFacts
Did Chuck Norris approve this stuff? If he did than he is more awesome than Walker Texas Ranger. Wait, Chuck didn't approve this post, will he find out about it? I'm kind of scared.............he's everywhere!!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Don't put it off, procrastinate now
Ever find yourself wanting to accomplish something and you end up polishing off a bag of Doritos in your pajamas watching reruns of Seinfeld? It happens to the best and the worst of us, you know who you are. The easiest thing to do to fix this side affect is to create a 'to do' list. I know what you are thinking but you would be surprised how much you actually accomplish by using a 'to do' list.
I started using one when I had a sales job and I still use it. The worse thing you can do is compile your list in your head and not write anything down. Have you ever thought about what you need to do the next day before you go to bed and then you wake up and forget half of it? I highly recommend writing it down so it's there when you wake up. I use a white board so I can easily keep it updated. For awhile it was working and then I kept forgetting to look at it and I turned into a couch potato. Why is it called a couch potato? Is the potato the laziest vegetable? Why not couch asparagus or couch carrot? Does anyone know?
Back to my point....
To try and change my ways I kept erasing what I wrote and writing in different colors thinking this will make me look at it. It did work for awhile until I forgot about it again. I recently thought of a clever, simple solution. I put a check box next to all my 'to do' list items. When I accomplished something I could check it off instead of erasing it like I was doing. Seeing what I accomplished helped a lot and gave me a sense of satisfaction.
If you don't have a white board you can use index cards or one piece of paper that you carry everywhere. Don't use several scraps of paper, that's just stupid.Do your most unpleasant tasks first thing. Otherwise, they will occupy your mind most of the day and you won't be productive. I know this from experience, you end up putting it off and you tell yourself 'I'll do it tomorrow.' This brilliant idea never works out.
Create your 'to do' list today, it could change your life. That sounded cheesy. How about stop fucking procrastinating and just do something productive already, you lazy bastard!! Too harsh? Hmmmm....... Do whatever you want, I don't care what you do. That works.
I started using one when I had a sales job and I still use it. The worse thing you can do is compile your list in your head and not write anything down. Have you ever thought about what you need to do the next day before you go to bed and then you wake up and forget half of it? I highly recommend writing it down so it's there when you wake up. I use a white board so I can easily keep it updated. For awhile it was working and then I kept forgetting to look at it and I turned into a couch potato. Why is it called a couch potato? Is the potato the laziest vegetable? Why not couch asparagus or couch carrot? Does anyone know?
Back to my point....
To try and change my ways I kept erasing what I wrote and writing in different colors thinking this will make me look at it. It did work for awhile until I forgot about it again. I recently thought of a clever, simple solution. I put a check box next to all my 'to do' list items. When I accomplished something I could check it off instead of erasing it like I was doing. Seeing what I accomplished helped a lot and gave me a sense of satisfaction.
If you don't have a white board you can use index cards or one piece of paper that you carry everywhere. Don't use several scraps of paper, that's just stupid.Do your most unpleasant tasks first thing. Otherwise, they will occupy your mind most of the day and you won't be productive. I know this from experience, you end up putting it off and you tell yourself 'I'll do it tomorrow.' This brilliant idea never works out.
Create your 'to do' list today, it could change your life. That sounded cheesy. How about stop fucking procrastinating and just do something productive already, you lazy bastard!! Too harsh? Hmmmm....... Do whatever you want, I don't care what you do. That works.
WTF!!
Okay readers I'm going to be honest, I'm a little frustrated. I figured after 80 or so posts and over 400 visitors I would have more than 6 comments. Does anybody have any thoughts after they read my blog? Frankly I don't care if you think it sucks, I still want to hear about it. "You suck" comments are more entertaining but don't be a dick. I spend a decent amount of time coming up with interesting things to write about and I'm entitled to some feedback.
The whole point of this blog is for me to share my thoughts and ideas and for you as the reader to tell me what you honestly think, good or bad. Most of my comments are from my girlfriend and she doesn't even like that I have a blog. What do I need to write about to get some kind of reaction? I've read other blogs and I have seen numerous comments, so what gives?
Should I offer some prizes? Do you want to be entered in a raffle? I can't read your minds!! Even if for some reason you are pressed for time at least vote on the poll. I thought that would be an easier. lazier idea to get some feedback but apparently no one cares. Any ideas?
If you leave a comment I will send you some cookies.
The whole point of this blog is for me to share my thoughts and ideas and for you as the reader to tell me what you honestly think, good or bad. Most of my comments are from my girlfriend and she doesn't even like that I have a blog. What do I need to write about to get some kind of reaction? I've read other blogs and I have seen numerous comments, so what gives?
Should I offer some prizes? Do you want to be entered in a raffle? I can't read your minds!! Even if for some reason you are pressed for time at least vote on the poll. I thought that would be an easier. lazier idea to get some feedback but apparently no one cares. Any ideas?
If you leave a comment I will send you some cookies.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Joke of the Week
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through
the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts."
The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot!
You're sitting on the mop bucket!!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Is it Bologna or Boloney?
I have never understood the English language entirely. For instance who the hell decided on the spelling of words? Was it one guy or like a board meeting type of situation where everybody gives their idea and then it's voted on? One word I never understood especially when I was younger is "colonel." What happened to the "R?" Other words like bologna, knife, phlegm and cough. Why do we need silent letters in the first place, do they help us at all in school when we are learning how to read?
Okay Timmy spell the word 'knife.' Timmy sounds it out and says N-I-F-E. No Timmy I'm sorry but there is a 'K' at the beginning. What the fuck you talking about 'K' at the beginning? It's not KA-NIFE, who put that 'K' there? You're telling me the 'K' is silent? Oh like KFUCK YOU!!
How come we don't have silent letters in our names? I'm going to add a 'Z' in my name so it's JAMZIE now, don't forget that the 'Z' is silent. I have actually thought about this before but I forgot about it until I saw a Katt Williams stand up where he does an entertaining skit involving the pronunciation of words. I kind of stole it from him but I'm sure he won't sue, I'm not getting paid like he is. Also Jim Gaffigan does a small bit about it. I love Jim Gaffigan, I think he's hilarious, he talks about the most simplest things and makes them funny like hot pockets and bacon.
Maybe 'colonel' is spelled that way because we already have 'kernel' and nobody wants to be a 'kernel' in the armed forces.
Why can't words just be spelled the way they sound? I would really like to find out the back story on the spelling of these ridiculous words. The ironic thing is that I'm a stickler for spelling words correctly. I used to edit my texts so they the words were spelled right and it would bother me if I didn't do it. I'm better now but I'm still a little anal about it. You know what is bullshit, my Microsoft Word is screwed up and I can't use spell check on it. It sucks for doing school work, I have to email it to myself and spell check it at the library or Nicole's house.
Okay I have wandered away from the subject once again but that's what makes it interesting or something along those lines. Wherever I was going with this is now gone. I might write a follow up piece if I can remember what I was talking about. "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."
Okay Timmy spell the word 'knife.' Timmy sounds it out and says N-I-F-E. No Timmy I'm sorry but there is a 'K' at the beginning. What the fuck you talking about 'K' at the beginning? It's not KA-NIFE, who put that 'K' there? You're telling me the 'K' is silent? Oh like KFUCK YOU!!
How come we don't have silent letters in our names? I'm going to add a 'Z' in my name so it's JAMZIE now, don't forget that the 'Z' is silent. I have actually thought about this before but I forgot about it until I saw a Katt Williams stand up where he does an entertaining skit involving the pronunciation of words. I kind of stole it from him but I'm sure he won't sue, I'm not getting paid like he is. Also Jim Gaffigan does a small bit about it. I love Jim Gaffigan, I think he's hilarious, he talks about the most simplest things and makes them funny like hot pockets and bacon.
Maybe 'colonel' is spelled that way because we already have 'kernel' and nobody wants to be a 'kernel' in the armed forces.
Why can't words just be spelled the way they sound? I would really like to find out the back story on the spelling of these ridiculous words. The ironic thing is that I'm a stickler for spelling words correctly. I used to edit my texts so they the words were spelled right and it would bother me if I didn't do it. I'm better now but I'm still a little anal about it. You know what is bullshit, my Microsoft Word is screwed up and I can't use spell check on it. It sucks for doing school work, I have to email it to myself and spell check it at the library or Nicole's house.
Okay I have wandered away from the subject once again but that's what makes it interesting or something along those lines. Wherever I was going with this is now gone. I might write a follow up piece if I can remember what I was talking about. "And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego."
NASCAR BEEF part deux
I decided to post my NASCAR beef post on this auto racing/nascar discussion site to see if I could ruffle a few feathers. And it worked, I got a few negative comments about my post from NASCAR fans and I am currently in a debate with this one dude. Here is the link: http://groups.google.com/group/rec.autos.sport.nascar/browse_thread/thread/3e36e00040acece7/c2fc632758bfed79?hl=en&lnk=raot#c2fc632758bfed79
I know, long name but amazing results. He has made a few good points but I think I one upped him on my last remark. I love messing with people, they get so emotional and into it like you are making fun of their child. I wonder how long I can keep fucking with this guy. I think I do make a good point with my NASCAR beef post. I'm not sure why I keep bothering to CAPS LOCK nascar, it's not that important.
What I don't get is that nascar is the most followed sport by a fan.....even bigger than football. People check on stats of the drivers and buy all the stupid nascar shit, what gives, what is wrong with this world? Am I offending anybody sporting a mullet yet? I hope Obama doesn't like nascar, my position on the subject would be futile. I guess I will wrap this up before it becomes a short story. Click on the link and read up if you haven't yet, it's good times.
I know, long name but amazing results. He has made a few good points but I think I one upped him on my last remark. I love messing with people, they get so emotional and into it like you are making fun of their child. I wonder how long I can keep fucking with this guy. I think I do make a good point with my NASCAR beef post. I'm not sure why I keep bothering to CAPS LOCK nascar, it's not that important.
What I don't get is that nascar is the most followed sport by a fan.....even bigger than football. People check on stats of the drivers and buy all the stupid nascar shit, what gives, what is wrong with this world? Am I offending anybody sporting a mullet yet? I hope Obama doesn't like nascar, my position on the subject would be futile. I guess I will wrap this up before it becomes a short story. Click on the link and read up if you haven't yet, it's good times.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Who would of thunk it?
It's official, I've had over 200 visitors to my blog since I started it back in the beginning of August. It's exciting to know that people like what I have to talk about. Although I really don't know that for sure because no one wants to comment on anything I write. What do I have to do to get some love? I have a theory that people will only express what they have to say if the subject is controversial. I don't really write stuff that is sketchy at all, maybe I need to start talking shit. My subject matter is comical, random nonsense that I come up with spontaneously while taking a shower.
I also thought that putting a poll on my blog would help me find out what people like to read but I only got 6 votes. People apparently like to be anonymous and keep things to themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate people taking the time of their busy lives to check out my blog but it would be nice to get some feedback. I didn't start this post to complain like a bitch but that is what is has turned into for some reason. I just wanted to show some enthusiasm for my 200 visitors. That number is probably peanuts compared to the more reputable blogs but I'm still a rookie and have a lot of catching up to do.
I will probably wait til 500 or 1000 visitors before I declare that I am awesome. So tell your friends about 'Just the Cheese.' Tell strangers on the bus or on the line at Dunkin' Donuts, mention it to your grandma on the phone or to your gynecologist during a pap smear. Spread the word!!!
Okay maybe I'm being a little greedy and I am asking for too much but it's a free blog, I'm not getting paid for this shit.
I also thought that putting a poll on my blog would help me find out what people like to read but I only got 6 votes. People apparently like to be anonymous and keep things to themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate people taking the time of their busy lives to check out my blog but it would be nice to get some feedback. I didn't start this post to complain like a bitch but that is what is has turned into for some reason. I just wanted to show some enthusiasm for my 200 visitors. That number is probably peanuts compared to the more reputable blogs but I'm still a rookie and have a lot of catching up to do.
I will probably wait til 500 or 1000 visitors before I declare that I am awesome. So tell your friends about 'Just the Cheese.' Tell strangers on the bus or on the line at Dunkin' Donuts, mention it to your grandma on the phone or to your gynecologist during a pap smear. Spread the word!!!
Okay maybe I'm being a little greedy and I am asking for too much but it's a free blog, I'm not getting paid for this shit.
Friday, October 2, 2009
For all you Madden fans....
I was down 21-10 at the end of the 3rd quarter. I was playing on All-Madden difficulty, I'm thinking to myself that I'm probably not going to win but I'll give it my best. So I score a touchdown in the first few seconds of the 4th quarter and go for 2; I get it, 21-18. I hold them on defense and get the ball back. I end up on the 2 yard line, 4th and inches with 2:30 left in the game.....do I go for it or kick the field goal? I played it safe and kicked for 3 points. Tie game!!
On the ensuing kickoff they return it for a touchdown, son of a bitch, 28-21 with 2:03 left. I unfortunately turn the ball over on downs with 1:37 left to play. They run the ball twice for 5 yards total and I burn 2 timeouts. It's 3rd and 5, they run and I tackle Willie Parker in the backfield for a loss, yes! but there is a penalty: offsides on one of my linebackers......first down. Three kneel downs and they win the game all thanks to an offsides penalty that was not my fault. I could of came back and tied it up for overtime. My first loss of the season.
I play as the Giants and I was playing the Steelers. I love Madden!!
On the ensuing kickoff they return it for a touchdown, son of a bitch, 28-21 with 2:03 left. I unfortunately turn the ball over on downs with 1:37 left to play. They run the ball twice for 5 yards total and I burn 2 timeouts. It's 3rd and 5, they run and I tackle Willie Parker in the backfield for a loss, yes! but there is a penalty: offsides on one of my linebackers......first down. Three kneel downs and they win the game all thanks to an offsides penalty that was not my fault. I could of came back and tied it up for overtime. My first loss of the season.
I play as the Giants and I was playing the Steelers. I love Madden!!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Don't @%&$ with Veterans
Now normally I don't blog about current events unless I'm involved in them but I heard something on the radio and I thought it was amusing.
A 21 year old dude went down to his local bar for a drink where a lot of the war veterans hang but forgot his ID. The bartender refused to serve him without identification which really pissed off this guy. As some sort of moronic revenge the man cut down the American flag from the VFW flagpole and set it ablaze.
The veterans in the bar at the time were not pleased at all. The veterans tracked this man down a few days later at a soccer game, confronted him and gave him three options: 1) They could turn him into the proper authorities, 2) Kick the crap out of him or 3) Duct tape him to a flagpole for 6 hours and hang a sign from his neck stating his crime. He decided on option number 3. After he served his punishment, the local VFW post commander said that he would never disrespect the flag again.
What a jackass!! I'm not really that patriotic and I would run off to Canada if there was a draft but I would never disgrace the American flag especially near the VFW hall. It would of been more embarrassing if he was taped tot he pole naked or in his briefs. It goes to show you how dumb the average person actually is.
A 21 year old dude went down to his local bar for a drink where a lot of the war veterans hang but forgot his ID. The bartender refused to serve him without identification which really pissed off this guy. As some sort of moronic revenge the man cut down the American flag from the VFW flagpole and set it ablaze.
The veterans in the bar at the time were not pleased at all. The veterans tracked this man down a few days later at a soccer game, confronted him and gave him three options: 1) They could turn him into the proper authorities, 2) Kick the crap out of him or 3) Duct tape him to a flagpole for 6 hours and hang a sign from his neck stating his crime. He decided on option number 3. After he served his punishment, the local VFW post commander said that he would never disrespect the flag again.
What a jackass!! I'm not really that patriotic and I would run off to Canada if there was a draft but I would never disgrace the American flag especially near the VFW hall. It would of been more embarrassing if he was taped tot he pole naked or in his briefs. It goes to show you how dumb the average person actually is.
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