Pros & Cons: Bacon

BACON

Pros

Has a PhD in deliciousness 

Has improved salads by 155%

It single handedly stopped the Cold War

Has greatly improved the image of the turkey

Helped Bill Clinton become president

Turned the economy around after The Great Depression

Along with ketchup helped hamburger kick it's coke habit

Chili's Triple Thick Bacon

Always lifts the toilet seat up

It's bacon

Cons

Clogs the arteries

Gives you the meat sweats

Introduced Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky

Shrinks when you cook it

Not toaster friendly

Has a prostitution addiction

Taught Lindsay Lohan how to drive

You can never get enough

Doesn't wear a condom

Watches Jersey Shore

Pros & Cons: Cinnamon

Pros and Cons of Cinnamon


Pros

•  Tastes great
• Fantastic fairy dust substitution
•  Keeps away tigers
•  Great name for a girl
•  Wash into hair to get rid of lice
•  Very faithful to sugar
•  Can get you into the best clubs
• Keeps your feet dry and smelling fresh

Cons

• Not a good food to snort
•  Attracts zombies
•  In stick form gets mistaken for candy
•  Tastes terrible with whiskey
•  Has a long standing grudge against oregano
•  Causes a rash in the armpits
•  Was arrested once for imitating brown sugar
•  Likes Justin Bieber

Pros & Cons: Turkey Baster

Pros

• Great for basting other foods like chicken, ham or french toast
•  Can be used when you're air guitar breaks
• Fun to use in the bath tub
• Makes it easier to feed Grandma
•  Comes with easy to read step-by-step directions
• Shaq's personal eye dropper
• Midget walking stick
• Fill with favorite liquor and enjoy

Cons

• Does not taste good filled with cannoli cream
• Melts if left in the oven
• Mashed potatoes get stuck in there
• Hard to carry in your pocket
• Does not replace dildo
• Makes a poor baseball bat, ping pong paddle and pool stick
• Do not give as anniversary present
• Airport security asks too many questions

Mr. Peanut vs Mr. Monopoly

It's about time we decide which lovable character looks better in a cane and top hat. I list some pros and cons about each of them and then you decide who is better based on whatever criteria you want to use.

MR. PEANUT

Pros

•  Is the mascot for an entire company
• Uses his cane to rescue kittens from trees
• Knows how to rock a monocle
• Can speak 11 different languages
• Has never cheated on a test
• Was once the mayor of Fargo, North Dakota
• He tastes delicious

Cons

• He has high blood pressure from all the salt
• Carries around pornography under his hat
• Never learned how to ride a bike
• Sexual harasses women, men, plants and goldfish, especially at work
• Can't grow facial hair
• Has battled with bulimia most of his life
• He doesn't actually need the cane, he is not handicapped, only pretending to be

MR. MONOPOLY

Pros

• Sports a sexy mustache
• Can recite the alphabet backwards while gargling milk
• Owns the rights to the best selling board game
• Still has all his own teeth
• Had sex with Marilyn Monroe before JFK
• He is the 14th richest man in the world
• Gives blood every month

Cons

• Never washes his hands after using the bathroom
• He beat up Wilfred Brimley for no good reason
• He smells like pickles and burnt toast
• Gave Marilyn Monroe an STD
• Hasn't made monopoly 3D yet
• Trips people with his cane for fun
• Has never seen the movie E.T. the Extra Terrestrial

Time to vote for your favorite cane-wielding-top-hat-wearing character. All the votes will be counted 3 times for accuracy. Absentee ballots for those of you in space are not being accepted at this time.

Repost: Marshmallow Fluff

This was my first pros and cons post back when nobody was following me. It is one of my faves. Nippy actually helped me with this one. We were brainstorming pros and cons at work one night. For some reason the spacing and font size is all wacky and I can't seem to fix it. Oh well, enjoy it anyway.

Pros

• Very tasty snack
  

• Made of marshmallow
  

• Can fix a leaky sink
  

• Can be used as whiteout
  

• The Fluffernutter would not exist without it
  

• Good sugar high
  

• Great name for a snack food
  

• Instant Santa Claus beard
  

• Used as a good prank food like whipped cream
  

• Hide other food underneath the table with it
  

• Acts as a Nair replacement
  

• Caulk around the bathtub with it
  

• Give grandma a facial
  

• Style your hair

Cons

• A bit too sweet
  
• Way too sticky
  
• Actually I just tried and it cannot fix a leaky sink
  
• Your high friends might mistake your homework for a snack after using it as whiteout
  
• Extremely difficult to get out of the jar
  
• Might have to explain to your coworkers why it looks like you have dried semen around your mouth
  
• Terrible name for a kid
  
• Very difficult to roast over the campfire
  
• After a few days, having to deal with the smell coming from underneath the table
  
• Girlfriend kills you after using Marshmallow Nair
  
• Lots of insects in your bathtub

Baloo vs Yogi Bear

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For a Friday post I thought we could have some fun by pitting two famous bears against each other. Fighting in today's battle is Baloo from TaleSpin and Yogi Bear from The Yogi Bear Show.

BALOO

PROS

* Can fly a plane without thumbs

* He's a bear and has a job as a pilot

* Once donated his entire paycheck to the starving munchkins of The Wizard of Oz

* Has a sidekick

* Can easily fight off air pirates

* He knows who killed JFK

CONS

* People have heard rumors about what goes on in the plane with Kit

* Crashes a lot

* Got expelled from school for downloading porn in the library

* Doesn't wear pants (which doesn't help the rumors)

* Thinks Paris Hilton is a good person

* Doesn't know how to read

YOGI BEAR

PROS

* Has a knack for stealing picnic baskets

* Has a sidekick

* Saved a litter of kittens from a burning hospital

* Snappy dresser

* Invented meat loaf

* Is tight with Yogi Berra

CONS

* Hangs out with a young bear, kinda creepy

* Goes #2 in the geyser holes in the park

* Gave the ranger an STD

* Doesn't have a steady job

* Doesn't pay child support to Kanga from Winnie the Pooh

* Has a severe gambling problem

My vote is for Baloo. I loved TaleSpin. Anybody play the NES game? Who do you think is the better bear?

Little Caesar vs. Noid

Here we go, I'm pitting 2 famous pizza chain icons against each other today. We have the Pizza!Pizza! dude from Little Caesar's dueling against the Domino's Noid. There can be only one victor, who will it be. Vote for who you think it the champion.


LITTLE CAESAR


PROS

* Has the Pizza!Pizza! deal, two pies for the price of one

* He is Julius Caesar's great-great-great-great-great-great grandson

* Can wear the shit out of a toga

* Dated Jessica Rabbit before Roger got to her

* Is part of the 4th largest pizza chain

* Adopts abandoned kittens and gives them away with the order of 3 large pies

CONS



* Doesn't know any English except for pizza

* Has been arrested for wielding that spear in public

* Doesn't do many commercials anymore

* Has two illegitimate children; one with Aunt Jemima and another with the Land O' Lakes Native American woman

* Has lost most of his teeth due to poor dental hygiene

* He is addicted to Viagra and autoerotic asphyxiation

NOID


PROS

* Was the spokesman for Domino's Pizza

* Once teamed up with Superman to fight Lex Luthor

* Has his own video game (Yo! Noid)

* Was behind the free delivery idea

* Gives half his paycheck to his Grandmother for groceries

* He can recite the Pledge of Allegiance backwards in Spanish

CONS

* Has struggled with bulimia for most of his life

* His red jumpsuit is permanently fused to his skin

* Got the shit kicked out of him by Mayor Adam West on Family Guy

* Is the prime suspect in 3 ongoing hit and run investigations

* Is always trying to ruin someone's pizza

* Has actually stolen candy from a baby


I have always liked the Noid. I love the video game for NES, I have never beaten it. I play it every once in awhile and get a little further. I have never actually eaten Little Caesar's pizza, I don't see commercials for it anymore. Cast your vote for the winner. Also I would love to hear your ideas for the next Vs. match-up.

Trix Rabbit vs. Energizer Bunny

Here is another battle. The Trix Rabbit and Energizer Bunny have hated each other for years. Something about Trix Rabbit sleeping with the Energizer Bunny's girlfriend when they were in High School, nobody really knows the truth. Who will be the victor? You decide...


TRIX RABBIT


Pros

* He is very determined, never gives up trying to get that cereal.

* Promotes a pretty tasty cereal.

* Won the National Spelling Bee 3 years in a row.

* Helped Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh overcome his OCD.

* Never tells a lie.

* Has been around since 1954

Cons

* Has changed the shape of the cereal from balls to fruit back to balls.

* Due to Megan's Law he is not allowed near schools and is required to go door-to-door when he moves.

* Is a huge failure (how hard is it to get a bowl of cereal from a kid?)

* Has become so obsessed with getting the cereal that his wife divorced him; his kids don't talk to him and he lost his house to the bank. He now lives in an empty Trix box.

* The only job he can get is filling in for the Easter Bunny when he's sick.

* Got the shit kicked out of him by the Cadbury Bunny.


ENERGIZER BUNNY


Pros

* He keeps going and going....

* Stands behind a great product.

* Is very close friends with Bugs and Babs.

* Broke the World Record for continuous days staying awake.

* Reads to the blind.

* Saved a school bus full of children from veering off a cliff.

Cons

* Has battle a long addiction to speed.

* Only knows one f*cking song on that god damn drum!

* Still lives with his mom at age 40.

* His batteries are too expensive.

* Due to the noise, he has the neighbor's dogs barking all night long.

* Kicked out of college for cheating on final exams.


Submit your answer in the form of a delicious comment. It is a tough call. I am going to have to let the people decide this one.

Mega Man vs. Earthworm Jim

Today's pros and cons post is brought to you by my buddy Nippy the Penguin from Crazy Penguin Ramblings. He just started writing on his blog again and I wanted to give him a nice plug. He is still kind of new to blogging but we won't hold that against him. So after you read his guest post, go check out his cool blog. If you folks like him, I will have him back to write more stuff. BTW I love Mega Man. Enjoy!

We all Have our preferences when it comes to our beloved video game characters, so today I decided to take two of my favorite characters and pit them against one another in a Pro Vs. Con Match up to determine the Ultimate winner.

First up we have Mega Man also known as the Blue Bomber or Rockman in Japan.

Mega Man

Pros

*First off he has a friggin' laser cannon for a hand!! How cool would that be to have? And you can charge it up for those extra large jobs.

*He absorbs the abilities of his fallen foes taking in their strengths to take down others.

*Never has to age and deal with those achy joints or someone trying to sell him some damned age defying creams.

*Has a robot dog named Rush as a faithful sidekick. Imagine if he were trained like Chopper from Stand By Me, that's one helluva clamp that junkyard dog would have. Oh yeah did I mention the dog enabled you to fly?

Cons

* Cute female lead in your game is your sister and although the Japanese are freaky they aren't like our southern Hill Billies. Sorry Mega Man no robo booty for you. No amount of enemy power absorption is gonna get rid of that blue!

*Forever stuck as a child which brings us to our next con.

* Dr. Light seems to get an awful lot of joy from popping open his chassis and taking him for a spin, that poor little robo boy.

Earthworm Jim

Pros

* He has a super suit that makes him really strong , and a really big ray gun ....... sorry got caught going off into his cartoon theme song.

* Can totally use himself as a whip which has worked well in his current career as an Asexual Dominatrix.

*Has a loyal side kick named Peter Puppy and let's face it, chicks dig cute puppies.

* His suit also works as a huge storage compartment for all his gear which he currently rents out to a large group of interstellar illegal aliens. Gotta make some extra cash with no game revenue coming in.

Cons

* That cute adorable puppy we spoke of earlier goes into random roid rages on Jim whenever he gets slightly hurt, making for some interesting hospital visits especially after Jim had watched the movie Road Trip.

* Princess Whats-her-face will forever be beyond Jim's grasp. After all he is still just an earthworm but hey some chicks might be into that.

* Only 2 major games of note and no current games in development that I am aware of, which is unfortunate.

It was a long and arduous decision but I would have to go ahead and declare Mega Man the Winner. Besides where else can you find a boss character named Boomer Kawanger? This is Nippy the Penguin signing off. Until next time my fine feathered friends keep on sliding along the icy shores of life!