Monday, February 18, 2013

Battle of the Fast Food Mascots: Round 3

As I am typing this post, the last round is still not over. I know that you are on the edge of your seat about it. I will come back and add in the winner when the poll is over. Now that we got that out of the way let's see who is in the next round. Please there is no flash photography, water color painting or sculpting allowed during the match. Chick-Fil-A Cow versus Taco Bell Chihuahua. I'm going to let the mascots that didn't make it into the battle (Jack-in-the-Box Jack, Bob's Big Boy, Carl's Jr. Star and Long John Silver Pirate) to interview....


Jack: So Cow, how do you feel that Taco Bell uses your friends and family in their food?
The Cow: I've eaten at Taco Bell, it's pretty good. My friends and family would of wanted it that way. Good thing I am protected under the Fast Food Mascot Act.
Jack: I forgot that act existed. So what did you do before you landed the Chick-Fil-A gig?
Big Boy: Is it my turn to ask questions yet?
Jack: Sit down and wait your turn and for Pete's sake get your thumb out of your mouth. Sorry Cow, go on.
The Cow: Well I tried out to be the Ben & Jerry's cow but they said that my udders were too big. Other than that I've been in some Spanish Soap Operas and a few commercials for a Japanese butter company.
Jack: Now it's your turn Big Boy.
Big Boy: Yay! Um, uh, err, duhhh, I can make a sound like a cow, "quack, quack, quack".
The Cow: Sweetie, that is what a duck sounds like. A cow goes "moooo".
Big Boy: Oh, like a horsie. I got it.
The Cow: Yeah sure like a horsie. Are you going to ask me a question?
Big Boy: Why does Jack tell me that I can't eat the blue cakes in the bathroom?
The Cow: I don't understand.
PTM: I think he is talking about the urinal cakes.
The Cow: Oh, well because they are covered in pee.
Big Boy: I thought they tasted funny.
PTM: Ok, Cow your interview ran a little long. Go get ready for the match. You are up Chihuahua.

Carl's Jr. Star: I heard a rumor that you aren't Mexican. Is that true?
Chihuahua: I am as Mexican as Taco Bell.
Carl's Jr. Star: Are you currently seeing someone?
Chihuahua: She probably won't confirm it but Betty White and I have been doing some licking.
Carl's Jr. Star: That is a disturbing image. I am going to pretend I didn't hear that. Have you seen those Beverly Hills Chihuahua movies?
Chihuahua: Other than the hot ass in those flicks they were the worst things I have ever seen. I only saw them to get with this hot guinea pig.
LJS Pirate: Have you seen that Star before?
Chihuahua: I have no idea who he was. He said he works for a chain called Carl's Jr. which is sometimes called Hardees.
LJS Pirate: I think I've eaten there while drunk once. I remember they had nice bathrooms.
Chihuahua: Speaking of bathrooms, I have to drop a big deuce. Are we almost done here?
LSJ Pirate: I haven't even asked you any of my questions.
Chihuahua: Ok how about this, meet me in the bathroom and you can do the rest of the interview in there.
LJS Pirate: Kind of weird but what the hell. Let's go.
PTM: Due to privacy laws we couldn't bring the camera crew into the restroom. I will have to interview the Chihuahua another time.

Please cast your vote on the poll located to the top left of the blog. The Cow and Chihuahua need your support.

This just in, the last round between Col. Sanders and Little Caesar's Pizza Pizza Guy ended in a tie 9-9. To be fair and unbiased I flipped a coin for the tie breaker. Going on to the next round is Little Caesar's 'Pizza, Pizza' Guy!!


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Think the Chihuahua's interview was your best yet. Still can't vote for a dog that freezes even in the summer though.

Birgit said...

Love the Chihuahua and he gets my vote because at least he knows to go to the bathroom for a dump and doesn't lay one right there...worse would be if he ate it

Mark said...

Ahh it's a shame Colonel lost but now we have a wildcard and the little guys have a representative. We're almost an underdog movie now. I have to vote for the cow, his homophobia will give him strength and he clearly has the size advantage.

Baby Sister said...

Go Pizza Pizza guy!! I say the Cow, all the way. Those ads are HILARIOUS!!

Al Penwasser said...

Go Cow! I'm not really sure what kind of meat is in those Taco Bell things.

Crystal Collier said...

Totally Cow. I'm sorry--the Cow produces the milk for cheese, so how could I vote any other way?

Keetha Broyles said...

Having voted for Little Caesar I believe your coin toss was kismet.

Vapid Vixen said...

The cow can't spell worth a crap. He's gotta win so he can use the prize money to go back to school. There IS prize money, right?

Cheryl said...

I am on the Cow Team as well. Love his willingness to stand around with those signs. As for the nervous little dog, he hasn't been totally honest about what exactly the kind of "meat" is being used in those tacos. said...

The Chihuahua and Betty White have been licking each other? Poor doggy. He gets my vote.


Unknown said...

LOL!!! ~ Very funny. =)

Shaharizan Perez said...

I voted for the chihuahua. I used to have one and they can be vicious. Hilarious post! For little dogs, they do poop big. :D

Pat Tillett said...

I going for the chihuahua because although I like the cow mascot, I don't like the restaurant. They owners need to shut up and stay out of current events...