No Respect!!

Damn people don’t have any respect nowadays. Nicole and I saw Halloween II on Friday night and apparently a lot of other people attended the theater just to piss me off. I don’t know about the rest of you but I go to the movies to actually see the movie not to fucking talk and joke around the whole time. I can understand whispering something to the person next to you because I do that on occasion but having a loud conversation is just plain rude.

There was a bunch of people hootin’ and hollerin’ during the movie like they were at a Slipknot concert. They were laughing hysterically at parts of the movie, it was a horror not a comedy, there wasn’t anything funny about it. I don’t understand why someone would pay $10 to ruin someone else’s night and not pay attention to the movie. A lot of them just kept getting up in groups and leaving and coming back for no reason. It’s always a group of freakin’ crackheads that don’t have anything better to do than act like a bunch of morons. If you are one of these people stop going to the movies and stay the fuck home or else next time I’m going to stab you in the face.

Finally, another review....."Inglourious Basterds"

I saw Inglourious Basterds last Friday the 21st and I didn’t think to write a review right away. I must be slipping in my old age. I’ve been waiting for another Tarantino flick since his involvement in the Grindhouse double feature. I’ve seen almost all of his work except for Planet Terror which is on my Netflix queue. Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs are my favorites. Enough about me let’s get to the reviewing.

I didn’t know what to expect going into this film, the trailers only showed only so much which I prefer because sometimes they put to much in them and it ruins the movie. Inglourious Basterds was excellent and fun for the whole family, okay maybe not for the little ones, it is about a posse of Jews savagely killing Nazis. I give the movie 4 ½ stars, I would of gave it 5 stars but I thought there were a few too many subtitles and I don’t go to the movies to read that’s what your sister’s diary is for.

It was two and a half hours of pure Tarantino genius. It didn’t feel like a long movie though, the storyline flowed like a beer keg at a frat house. Brad Pitt was the only big named star besides two voice overs by Samuel L. Jackson and Harvey Keitel which didn’t surprise me. This masterpiece didn’t need big named actors in it. Pitt’s character was the leader of the Basterds and surprisingly he was pretty comical, didn’t expect humor in a movie about killin’ Nazis.
Even Nicole liked this movie and she doesn’t usually like the same movies I do. I asked her to write a review but she wanted some money for it, this is a non-profit blog, we work for free here. We are actually going to see Halloween II tonight, maybe I can persuade her to write something about Rob Zombie and Michael Myers.
Go see Inglourious Basterds, it’s worth the $10 and first born child. Don’t take my word for it though, I only watch movies as a hobby. If you see it and don’t particularly enjoy the movie, write down your complaint on a clean sheet of paper, fold it up, put it in a stamped envelope and then shove it up your ass.

Sorry folks I went to visit my grandma in Cape Cod. I will be back blogging on monday. I have some good stuff planned so don't worry about it.

TOUCHDOWN!!

Football season is finally upon us. I'm a huge Giants fan, I've been following them since the mid to late 90's. I still haven't been to a game though, anyone got tickets? I used to follow the Raiders too but since their last Super Bowl appearance they have been heading downhill. I try to follow all the NFL news, I watch NFL network when I get the chance. First Giants game is September 13th, I'm psyched for another season. If you're an Eagles fan you can go to hell.

Food for Thought

This is one of my favorite shirts. I got it at spencer's in the JV mall for like $7 before they closed. It speaks very loudly about my personality. I'm a simple person.

Random Joke at 4am

At a four way stop sign Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, God and Barack Obama arrive at the same time from different directions.
Who has the right of way?


Answer: Barack Obama, the others aren't real.

Death by Roller Coaster

I spent all day at 6 Flags yesterday, mostly at Hurricane Harbor but I did go on some of the rides in the park. I went twice last summer and this is my second time this summer. I'm not going to bore you with details of the whole day so I will get right to the juicy parts. First off prices are always ridiculous in amusement parks like $3.50 for a bottle of water and everybody is a sucker because what else are you suppose to do? That isn't the worst of it. It was getting about that time to eat something so we decided to get some pizza at the Papa John's they have in there. You figure since it's in Six Flags that the prices would be slightly inflated like maybe $4 or even $5 for a slice of pizza. Well for one slice of pizza hut tasting pizza it was $7.50!!!!! What the hell is this world coming to when you have to take out a small loan to buy some pizza?

That is just one grievance I have with the park but I digress. Whining about food prices wasn't my original point to this post. I almost died on The Great American Scream Machine!! For some reason there was no line for this coaster so Nicole and I got on fairly quickly. I don't know why there was no line, it's a pretty good coaster. After our first trip around we decided to go on it again since we didn't have to wait, big mistake on our part. Almost at the end of the train's run it stops on a platform to then go down a small incline and around the last loop. Well for some reason it wasn't building enough momentum and it barely made it around the last loop. The movie Final Destination flashed through my head, the one where some of them die on the roller coaster. It was some scary shit, everyone freaked out after we stopped to get out.

The eerie part of it all was that Nicole had a funny feeling about going on again. Next time share that feeling with your boyfriend so we both don't have to shit our pants.

One of my friends also told me that a few years ago she was on King Da Ka and the train didn't make it over the hill and it went backwards down the track. Instead of letting people off they tried again and this time it made it over. People should be required to wear some depends on King Da Ka. As a side note the new Bizarro coaster is pretty cool, it took the place of Medusa which I miss but what can I do?

I had an random thought while enjoying the day. Do dwarfs or little people get upset that they can't go on roller coasters because of their stature? Someone should build an amusement park just for the vertically challenged and it should discriminate against tall people. All the rides should be made to only accommodate little people (I want to say midgets but I know that's not politically correct nowadays.) I doubt someone will build one but it's a funny idea. If you do build it please credit me with the idea.

Mortality

After the Nicole's grandfathers' burial it got me thinking about death and what we do with our deceased. First off I never really understood why we as a people bury our loved ones in the ground in a giant wooden box that’s lined with pillows inside. I’m not sure if coffins are still made out of wood nowadays but it seems like a waste of a good tree. Especially nowadays with our recycling and saving the rain forest and what not. It’s not like we can recycle caskets, that would be a little disturbing. Next, why is the casket lined with pillows and soft material inside? It seems very trivial to me, I don’t care if my body is comfortable when I’m dead.

We need to stop burying people, cemetaries are getting crowded and it is taking up a lot of space and land. I understand that it’s tradition in people’s families to have a plot and be buried but soon there will be nowhere to put our deceased. I, for one want to be cremated like my father was. For one, it’s less of a burden on my family to waste all that money on a casket and funeral. Secondly I don’t want to take up space in the ground, I’d rather my ashes be scattered somewhere special. I know a lot of people would disagree with what I’m saying because of religious beliefs and all but this is how I feel. The one thing I do like about a cemetary is that you can go visit your loved ones and pay your respects when you need to.

I probably mostly feel this way because I don’t believe in God nor in Heaven or Hell. If Heaven is such a great place then what are we doing on this Planet? When people die I think we just end up as part of the Earth, our remains turn get reincarnated into a tree or a plant.
Death does scare me, I think about it every once in while. Such as when I die the world will go on forever without me, 1000 years down the line what will I become? I can’t fathom not being able to just think, what is it like to be dead?

News Update....we have a winner!!

CONGRATULATIONS to Marisa Murdock and Nicole Palladino for being the only two people so far to get the answer to the Math Riddle. They will be handsomely rewarded with prizes and coupons to subway. Seems like these girls are the only intelligent people that read my blog.

Guest Writer Plug

As you may probably already know I had a guest writer recently that wrote a review about G.I. Joe. I have yet to see the movie but I'll take his word on what he had to say. He was a little tardy on getting the review to me but he was working for free so I won't hold it against him. He currently has his own blog now, I guess this craze is really catching on. His new blog is called Crazy Penguin Ramblings and you can check it out at http://crazypenguinramblings.blogspot.com/. You can also find him in the author section of my blog as Nippy the Penguin. He is just getting his flippers wet so he only has a few posts but he is on to something already.

In memory of....

I haven't written anything in the past couple of days because I was attending a wake and a funeral. On Monday the 17th Nicole's grandfather passed away, he was a good man. The wake I attended was on Thursday and the funeral was on Friday. I paid my respects to the family and the deceased. I felt sorrow for Nicole's grandmother who now lives alone in the bronx. They were married 60 years. Rest in Peace Howard Palladino

Math Riddle

There is a bus, on this bus there are 7 kids,
each kid has 7 backpacks,
each backpack has 7 cats,
each cat has 7 kittens.
How many legs are on the bus?

This is not a trick question, there is no bus driver, the bus in not moving. There is an actual answer. Let's see how good your math skills are...

Post your answer as a comment or email me at bluetorpedo84@yahoo.com

Start Your Engines

There was a car cruise at Mcdonald's in the Cortlandt town center on May 30th. I didn't feel like taking pictures because I get bored of it very fast so Nicole took these. I was wondering what I was going to do with these pics on my phone. I have been changing my wallpaper to the cars I liked, now you can enjoy them.

Random Joke of the Day

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked..
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

Seeing Red...

Movies are one of my biggest hobbies. They suck me into the story and I have a really good feeling after watching a great movie. I think I'm almost obsessed with movies to the point where it's all I think about sometimes. I have a pretty big DVD collection, about 140, and my Netflix queue has about 350. Sometimes I watch so many movies I forget what I just watched and I tend to rent it again by accident. I love movie trivia and movie board games like Scene-It. I'm also pretty unstoppable in the six degrees of Kevin Bacon game. I usually can do it in 3 or 4 moves. I have thought about becoming a director or something like that but I probably like watching the movie more than being involved in the making of it.

One of my favorite times of the day is when I see that red envelope in the mailbox. Netflix is one of the best ideas of my time. I get my movies within two days of shipping them back and it's relatively cheap, I get 3 movies at a time for $16.99. It's a hell of a lot better than renting them from Blockbuster or Hollywood Video, who the hell does that anymore? (The answer is morons.) I've had Netflix on and off since 2004. I just did it for the free trial but I got hooked and have never looked back. I can't get enough movies that I also rent some from the public library at 3 at a time for free. They actually have a big selection there, a few years ago they only had like 20 dvd's but they have added a whole bunch. It is getting to the point where there isn't much I haven't seen at the library and I am just taking out random movies nowadays.

I'm not sure what my goals or intentions are with all of this movie watching. I guess I'll be better at trivia and if someone needs to know about an actor from a certain movie. It's going to come in handy at some point, hopefully on a game show where I win big. I highly recommend joining Netflix ® Official Site if you are not already a member. We can be friends!!!

Marshmallow Fluff

Pros

• Very tasty snack
  

• Made of marshmallow
  

• Can fix a leaky sink
  

• Can be used as whiteout
  

• The Fluffernutter would not exist without it
  

• Good sugar high
  

• Great name for a snack food
  

• Instant Santa Claus beard
  

• Used as a good prank food like whipped cream
  

• Hide other food underneath the table with it
  

• Acts as a Nair replacement
  

• Caulk around the bathtub with it
  

• Give grandma a facial
  

• Style your hair

Cons

• A bit too sweet
  
• Way too sticky
  
• Actually I just tried and it cannot fix a leaky sink
  
• Your high friends might mistake your homework for a snack after using it as whiteout
  
• Extremely difficult to get out of the jar
  
• Might have to explain to your coworkers why it looks like you have dried semen around your mouth
  
• Terrible name for a kid
  
• Very difficult to roast over the campfire
  
• After a few days, having to deal with the smell coming from underneath the table
  
• Girlfriend kills you after using Marshmallow Nair
  
• Lots of insects in your bathtub

Late night snack

I love the edible arrangements chocolate. It is like an orgasm in your mouth. I don’t know when the first time I had it but I know I had it at Nicole’s house. It was some holiday to promote sweets like Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day. The chocolate covered strawberries are my favorite. The chocolate covered pineapple and banana are pretty scrumptious as well. Also there is a caramel crunch coated apple thing that is worth tasting. I could eat 50 of those strawberries in one sitting then have to poop immediately afterwards. Well Nicole bought me some edible arrangements chocolate for my birthday this year (July 14th if anyone was wondering.) It was a great present because I love food (hint for Christmas.) I have used it on strawberries, blueberries, Carvel cake and a cookie or two, it is very messy.

I had a little bit left and I was hungry tonight and a light bulb went on in my head, instead of covering the strawberries with the chocolate I’ll put the chocolate in the strawberries. So I got out my trusty Cutco paring knife and cut off the tops and inside of the berries to create a home for my chocolate. It worked to perfection, the only problem was I only had enough chocolate for 6 berries. Right now, as I type the chocolate is hardening inside of them in the fridge. I can’t wait to eat them, I can almost taste the orgasm.

G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra Review

First let me start off by saying Hi to all of Powdered Toast Man's avid readers , now that's outta the way we can get on to the review. Now I went into the theater skeptical about this particular movie , I had a feeling Hollywood had raped a part of my childhood with all the rumors I had heard about GI Joe. That said I was pleasantly surprised to find that the movie was actually a very good action flick with a nice new spin on the characters from my youth. Some of the purists may hate parts of the movie for not sticking to established lore and mythos of the characters, but I felt they did the best they could considering just about everyone's back story originated in the Vietnam War in the original series and there is no way that could hold true in a modern day retelling. The Characters are well written even Marlon Wayans was tolerable in this movie although I did find myself rooting for Cobra when it seemed there was a chance his character could be killed off. I would highly recomend going to see this movie especially if you grew up in the 80's watching the cartoon or reading the comics its a great homage to the past with only a few cringe worthy changes to characters , but overall should not ruin the experience.

There are already talks of a sequel going forward after the films first week hopefully that means more characters the fans want to see and not more of Marlon Im here to make you laugh by making an ass of myself Wayans, Characters like Beachhead, Stalker, Shipwreck, Dusty and Gung Ho or perhaps even Road Block. Until next time this is Nippy the Penguin saying go see this flick cuz its actually good , and now you know and knowing is half the Battle! YO JOE!

Random Joke at 230am

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?

- Donuts (doughnuts)

Ice cream anyone?

In my marketing class back last semester we were talking about how companies come up with new ideas and how to brainstorm. My teacher told us to think of some new ice cream flavors, they didn’t have to be good just whatever pops into our heads. Some were good and others were peculiar, some one came up with chicken….mmm chicken ice cream. Some of the good flavors were champagne, martini, and pb&j. Now my idea was brilliant and everyone in class was crazy jealous. I’m not going to tell you the flavor I thought of because you might steal it and make millions. Yeah you probably think it’s stupid for me to talk about my idea if I’m not going to tell you what it actually is, well tough sh*t.

I thought about actually patenting the idea or copyrighting or whatever the correct terminology is for it. What sucks is doing something like that costs big bucks. Now what if I don’t have any money and want to invent something new, how am I suppose to make it happen? I have actually thought of a few good ideas for a new product or board game. I don’t know what to do with all these ideas. I’m worried if I wait too long someone is going to invent these things before I do. Some of them seem stupid but I’m sure most products were thought to be stupid at some point. If I had my own lawyer I would list some of my great ideas but you people would probably steal them from me cause you’re greedy bastards!!

There is a website for patenting and copyrighting if you are interested, legalzoom.com. I should pitch my ice cream flavor to Ben and Jerry, I could make millions!! I’m a one man think tank. I should really start writing down my ideas so I don’t forget them. If I only could trust you people with my soon to be money makers. Who else out there has thought up an idea for something but doesn’t know how to get the ball rolling? Well I don’t know either so don’t ask my advice. I feel like I have all these great ideas and can’t do anything with them.

I don't remember what the point of all this rambling was, I just needed to vent about it. You probably want the last few minutes of your life back, well invent the flux capacitor and travel back in time or to the future. First ask Christopher Lloyd if he still has his before you waste your time on yours.

Random Joke at 5am

What did the gay man say when he walked into the church?

- Ahhh, men (Amen)

I have a dream....

So it’s about four in the morning, I’m kind of tired but I don’t want to go to bed and I’m bored. I usually stay up until 6am watching movies because that’s what I do. I can’t even blog this correctly because the internet is not working so I’m writing this on Mircrosoft Word. What’s even funnier is that we still have dial-up, I know who still uses that, it’s like having a pager (unless you’re a doctor) and believe me it’s a freaking pain the ass. Unfortunately I live in east bumblefuck where apparently internet companies scarcely install good connections, so dial-up is the best we can do. I would do some channel surfing but I’m currently recording Blindness and the tv doesn’t let you change the channel, it has to stay on the channel you are recording. I hope the movie is worth my boredom.

Any who I wanted to give some advice or share my thoughts or some crap like that. I have something called a Dream Book sort of like a journal/diary I guess where I write down….well my dreams. I jot down things I want to accomplish in my life and stuff I would like to do or to learn. For example my last entry dated 8/04/09 was “go on a game show”, I’ve always had a dream to be on The Price is Right, Bob Barker is my hero. Not so much now though since Drew Carey took over, it’s not the same without Bob. Anyway I don’t know if I’m ever going to be on a game show but It’s fun to think about.
I picked up this idea at my last sales job back in 2006 and it helps keep my thoughts down on paper. I have serious stuff in there like owning my own home and silly stuff like having enough extra cash to buy a pony. I don’t even know what the hell I would do with a pony if I actually got one, I guess just to say that I have one. I read all my entries all over again every so often to keep me on track with my goals. If I actually accomplish a goal I go back to that entry and write down the date and mark it as done. Come to think of it there aren’t a lot of things I have accomplished in that thing, I should probably get off my ass, stop blogging and do something productive……..naaahhhh.

The last thing I sort of succeeded in doing was learning how to juggle, you never know when you need to entertain a 7 year old. I haven’t mastered it yet but I got the gist of it. I saw a juggling kit at the mall last year for $8 and I had just wrote it in my book so I was like what the hell. I practiced here and there until I could do it consistently, I believe my record is 28 consecutive balls in the air….. I’m still working on it. I put my application in with Barnum and Bailey, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Believe it or not a lot of stuff you think of to do and you don’t put on paper, you forget. I’ve read my book over several times and there is always something that I forgot I put in there. Now if you don’t have any goals or aspirations in life then this probably is useless to you and you should probably throw yourself out a window for being a waste of life. To make it more fun I cut out pictures out of magazines and glue them in for visual effect. Some of them I forgot to date and was like when in the hell did I write this? It’s tough to reach your goals if you are not always looking at them. It’s not truly a goal unless you put it in ink because then you can always change it to meet what you are doing. It’s okay if you don’t reach your goal but it’s bad if you don’t have one to reach at all. It kind of sounds like I know what I’m talking about, I’m just as surprised as you are. I’d write a book but I’m just stealing ideas other people have taught me.

The point of all this is you need to be working towards something or do you really want to being working at Walmart the rest of your life? I love Walmart but I don’t want to work there (sorry if you do, my bad.) Life is too short to waste it on pointless shit, get out there and make things happen for yourself. Stop surfing the internet for free porn and do something with your life and put your pants on for pete’s sake!! Well if you learned anything from my ranting that’s good enough for me and if anyone knows Bob Barker tell him to call me so we can talk about dropping the restraining order.

.

Nicole is the Best

This past August 5th marked the 1 ¾ year mark for Nicole and I. Time has gone by pretty fast. Well they do say that time flies when you are having fun. It has been loads of fun spending time with my squishy. “I will call you squishy and you will be mine, you will be my squishy. Here squishy, squishy. Come here, ow! That’s a bad squishy, baaad squishy!” Our pet nickname for each other is squishy from the movie Finding Nemo If you haven’t seen it then you probably should, it’s a great movie. I love Ellen Degeneres in that film, she is very funny. She isn’t in a lot of movies but she does have her own talk show, well at least I think she still does. What was I talking about….?

As Nicole would say “Nicole is the best.” I do agree with her statement but only when she isn’t being a butt. It’s hard to write something emotional without being side tracked by humor or sarcasm, cause that’s my natural instinct. I love Nicole Ashley Palladino or NAP for short which we love to do together. Naptime is my favorite time of the day or night, it ranks up there with sexytime and cuddletime. This might sound all mushy and lame to you but this is how I feel. There is no better feeling then when she lays her head on my chest before we cuddle or take a nap. It just feels right like we are two interlocking pieces of a puzzle. She makes me smile inside and out when she looks up at me with those big beautiful eyes telling me she wants kisses.

I wish we could fall asleep in the same bed and wake up together. Unfortunately we do not live together yet. I am trying to get a better job to make this happen but this economy isn’t making that easy for me. I hate to see her go so late at night, it worries me her driving half asleep back to her house. I do get that text later to tell me she made it home without hitting manbearpig (he’s real, just ask Al Gore.)

Sometimes when I’m feeling sad or lonely I just pop open my phone and look at one of the pics I have of Nicole, I do have a bunch (especially some naughty ones that you can’t see.) I wish we had more pictures of both of us but no one is ever around to take it for us. Where are the papparazzi when you actually need them? I guess it would help if we were celebrities of some sort. She probably doesn’t think I care about this kind of stuff but I do. I just don’t have the vagina in the relationship so I don’t talk about it all the time.

I am a big fan of boobs and Nicole is very equipped in that area, if you know what I mean. I could go on about this subject but I will just leave it to the imagination. Nicole is very cute and adorable. I catch myself looking at her when she isn't looking, studying her face and looking into her eyes. She doesn't realize how pretty she really is, but I do. I don't know if she believes me but she looks better with her hair up away from her face. For some reason she looks much better when she is showing off her ears.... yeah I don't get it either. She also looks very sexy with her hair wavy wearing big hoop earrings (again it's probably just me.) The point is I love everything about her and I hope she knows that.

I love spending the day with Nicole and just cuddling on the couch or laughing about nothing. I never know how much I really miss her until I see her again. We went on vacation to Virginia Beach in June (which is another story) and I figured that after a week of spending time with her that I would need a little break. Well after we got back and she went to her house I felt strange like something was missing, it was her, I had to call her just to talk. I could go on and on with things to say about her but this isn't the novel yet. I'll write that some other day.

Most of you reading this probably don't really care but it's really not for you, it's for Nicole. Don't worry, I will write about other crap soon. I needed to show my emotions and the sensitive side of me for once. Maybe you ladies that read this thought it was cute, whatever. So love the one you're with and tell them how much you mean to them even if they already know.

3 years down the drain...

Now I’m against this whole blogging craze that has overcome my boyfriend, but he is suggesting that I let out my pent up rage. I should get it out of my system, or in this case write it out of my system. Not because I want to write about things that go on in my daily life, but because I need to get stuff off my chest. So I’m going to give it a try, just this once!…Who knows, maybe I will get hooked too, I hope not.

I graduated high school summer of 2006 at the age of 17. Behind me, I had left 12 years of softball games, drama club, chorus, C-student grades, a certificate to become a nurses aide, and a dream to make something of myself. For as long as I could remember, I had dreams of becoming a Registered Nurse. I never thought of doing anything else; nothing else appealed to me. I went to BOCES

(a technical school) my junior and senior year of high school. Junior year I spent completing the certified nurses aide program and after that, I was able to work in nursing homes, rehabs, and hospitals helping people with their daily needs. Senior year, I took a class that allowed me to shadow health care professionals in Northern Westchester Hospital in Mt Kisco, NY. That, was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. If there was any hint of doubt in my mind about going into health care, that class totally dismissed it. Even after following surgeons, respiratory therapists, physical and occupational therapist, radiologists, and more, nursing was still for me.

Before I graduated, I got a job at a hospital as a patient care technician. That job allows me to care for patients, assisting them with washing, cleaning, feeding, dressing…basically everything that they need. I thought that would be a good step, getting me acquainted more with the field in which I wished to make a career. I have been there for three years now.

As the college applications were sent in (knowing nursing is a competitive field), I awaited that letter. I sent to several schools my plea to let me into their programs, however, only one replied…and that one was Pace University. Their exact words were “ I wanted to be the first to let you know: the answer is YES! You have been admitted as a freshmen for the fall of 2006. Welcome to Pace” ( I know this because I still have that letter). Well here I go…I’m now officially a college student…yes!! I was so excited. I was going into a RN program, and a very well known and good one at that. I actually almost couldn’t afford to go there because Pace is a private school and in return is very expensive. In a nutshell, that worked out and I got to go there.

I went to Pace for 3 school years. I met some cool people, attended all my classes, (never failed one), participated in school events, and even joined a nursing club. However, it wasn’t all bliss for me. Pace gave me diddly squat for financial aid. I received $200 a semester from a school that cost over $15,000 for one semester. That was one, pretty major problem right there. That problem alone almost made me have to drop out pretty much every semester I was there.
On top of that, they didn’t let me into the nursing program right away, I had to wait until my 5th semester there until they finally let me into the first round of nursing classes. Before this I had taken all my prerequisites, and then some. I basically had nothing else left to take there besides those nursing classes. This wasn’t my fault however, because as I already mentioned, I never failed one class, so it wasn’t me being lazy. It was incompetent guidance counselors that didn’t know their ass from their elbow. For example, one semester, my counselor advised me to register for my first round of nursing classes. Me, being a naive, first child in the family to go to college chick, did as she said, of course, why would I question it? After all, this counselor had been working there for a very long time, so she knew the ins and outs…or so I thought. At this point, I hadn’t completed the appropriate science classes to be able to get into these nursing classes (which I registered for in April). I didn’t know that when I registered however, I trusted my advisor. That summer, I took a study abroad trip to Rome, Italy for 3 weeks (the best time of my life, but that’s another story if I decided to write about it).

While I was in a whole other time zone half way around the world enjoying the Statue of David, the Coliseum, and being able to drink without being asked for an I.D, the school decided to send a letter home telling me of the problem and that I had to drop all my classes; this was the end of June. So, I had to drop everything and take the leftover classes that were left open when I got back home (by now it was the beginning of July), that was a waste of time….

Pretty much every semester after that I had encountered a problem. There was not one that went smoothly. My final semester there I was finally in the classes I needed to be and I did great. I went on my clinical through maternity, and even my clinical instructor mentioned how good I was doing. She even could tell I was comfortable with the patients (being that I work in a hospital) and that I knew what I was doing….I was pretty much a zombie that semester (Jamie knows.) I would wake up for class around 6am, drive to school, be in class from 7am to 3pm on a early day, some days went from 7am to 6pm, go and study until 230am at my friends house, drive home 45 minutes, go to sleep by 3am and wake up at 6am to do it all over again. Oh yeah, and throw in some work evenings too from 3-1130. Believe me, I’m not complaining. I loved my classes and I did very well, never failed a test or assignment or any of that.

I had to take a required math test to get into the next level of nursing classes. For this exam, you had to get a 90 or better (when the year before it was an 85 or better) and you only get two tries (when the year before it was three tries). The first test I got a 85 (questions were 5 pts. a piece). The question I got wrong I actually didn’t, it was in the wrong form (I had it in decimal and they wanted it in fraction, which wasn’t in the directions nor was it taught to us that way in class)…of course I had to take it over. The test was given the week before class was supposed to start. I got an 80. I found that out two days before classes were beginning. This meant I couldn’t take the next level of classes and I had to drop everything yet again. This would mean another round of ridiculous classes that I didn’t need. I had to make the decision to leave Pace that day in just a couple hours time because I found out the info at 12 in the afternoon and the offices closed at 3. That was last December…

So here I am, almost one year later. Still not in school; cant find a school to take me. I even tried to go back to BOCES to go into the LPN program (licensed practical nurse) and they turned me down. I am pretty lost, pretty stressed, and pretty damn fed up with everything. I now have over $30.000 in student loans and 54 credits that mean nothing. I can’t believe its been almost one year. This whole experience even made me question nursing. When thinking about coming up with some other career for myself…I come up with nothing…nothing else appeals to me. What I really need is some guidance, someone to tell me what I should do. But with all my friends moving on with their professional lives, and graduating now, I don’t have anyone around to guide me….I have cried, kicked, and screamed over this for too long; its time to move on. Seriously, any advice would greatly be appreciated.

Congrats to Nicole for popping her blog cherry. She is my first guest writer on my blog. I think it's a great subject and well written. Hit her up with some comments people!!

All polar bears are left handed...

How many people actually read something while in the bathroom? Well I usually don't except for this comical trivia book I have that I think I got for Christmas one year. It is packed full of useless trivia and information that is very surprising and humorous. It is The Bathroom Trivia Book, you can find it on The Bathroom Library website.
Ever wonder if rats can vomit? Well they can't, how would someone find that out anyway. I'm guessing taking them to a bar and getting them hammered.

Here are a few facts I thought were worth sharing:

Jaquars are scared of dogs

How many times can a woodpecker peck? 20 times a second

At 90 degrees (F) below zero your breath will freeze and fall to the ground.

The female praying mantis devours her male partner while mating

Bees flag their wings 300 times a second

John Wayne had an 18 inch neck

Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite

An elephant is not afraid of a mouse

A giraffe's tongue is black and 17 inches long

The worlds's biggest clam weighs five hundred pounds

The strongest muscle in your body is your tongue

An adult has 206 bones. A newborn infant has 300

Two out of three americans have hemorrhoids

Giraffes can't swim

Cat's can't taste sweet things

All polar bears are left handed

A spider has transparent blood

Baboons cannot throw overhand

An electric eel will short circuit itself if put into salt water

Western Europe is sinking at the rate of one inch every ten years

The average office chair on wheels travels about 8 miles per year

A newborn panda is smaller than a mouse

An adult moth never eats

Your hearing isn't as sharp on a full stomach

In Wilbur, Washington it's illegal to ride an ugly horse

A Lexington, Kentucky law says that you are not permitted to carry ice cream cones in your pocket

There are over 100 pages of these facts. Some are pretty ridiculous. How can I use this knowledge now....?

Clint eastwood is my new hero

I am a big fan of Clint Eastwood nowadays. I never really knew much about him except that he was Dirty Harry and usually played a badass. I love Clint as a director, I think he does great work. He is also almost 80 flippin' years old. You got to respect that shit. He has directed 18 movies in the past 20 years and some of those years he directed more than one in the same year. Most big directors only come out with a movie every few years but Clint keeps plugging away.

I recently saw Changeling which was an excellent movie starring Angelina Jolie and John Malkovich which was directed by Clint and I didn't even know that until I saw the movie. Not only does he direct award winning films he also stars in most of them which has to be tough at his age. His past few movies he directed are amongst my favorites; Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River. I'm still waiting to see Blood Work, it's in my Netflix queue somewhere. Clint has a new movie coming out in December it's called Invictus (2009) where he teams up with Morgan Freeman once again. Invictus is about the life of Nelson Mandela after apartheid in South Africa. Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela and he has been waiting on this role for awhile. I love Morgan Freeman too, he's in everything but that's for another day. Matt Damon also stars in it as Francois Pienaar. I'm excited about it, it should be pretty good.

I just started to get into older movies that Clint directed and/or acted in. I recently watched In the Line of Fire and I have a few others sitting in my netflix queue. I love Clint Eastwood (mostly in a platonic and professional way) and I wish he wasn't reaching his 80's, he's making his best stuff now. Hopefully he will keep plugging away at what he does best before he kicks the bucket. If you like movies I highly recommend seeing some stuff by Clint Eastwood, it's pretty awesome.

Cl----------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

I used to write as a guest writer for
kneesinthewind.blogspot.com

I WAS FIRED!!!

Well it seems that I have my own blog now. For some reason I wasn't good enough to write for Brian's blog anymore. I feel that he was threatened by my creativity and wanted the spotlight all to himself. Whatever, it's his loss anyway. I can't give a list of movies coming out in the next few years but he can write about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I guess it is for the best, he was changing my work anyway to what he thought it should say. Nothing is ever good enough. Well at least i have a job, it might not be a good one but I am employed. Don't get me wrong I think Brian is very creative and I do enjoy his work. I'm not trying to bash him, I'm just expressing my feelings about our short lived blog relationship.

Well that's enough bitching out of me for right now, let's talk about something else. So you might be wondering what the title of my blog is all about "Just the cheese...," I stole it from a Dane Cook stand up bit. If you know it great but I don't have time to sit here and type the whole joke out, well i do have time but I don't feel like it. I will try to find a clip of it to post but I'm not promising anything.

This blog will probably be comprised of a lot of movie references and reviews and whatnot. I love movies, it's my biggest hobby so I am going to want to talk about it. If you love movies too then that is awesome. If not then maybe you will be enlightened and educated with what I have to write. It will also have just random crap that I think of every week. You can also expect a lot of humor and sarcasm as you might already be aware of from reading my few posts. I highly encourage your feedback in the form of comments and emails. If you think I suck then tell me, if you enjoy what you read tell your friends.

I told my girlfriend last night that I have my own blog now and she wasn't too fond of the idea. She thinks I'm going to spend countless hours blogging like Brian does. Well she is probably right, it is very addicting. Nicole if you are reading this I will try not to become obsessed with writing blogs. Nicole is the best but that is a story for another post, sorry squish. I probably should be doing something more productive, now what could that be.....?

MORE Reviews you cant use

So I was surfin' the net last night at like 3 am, cause I'm always up at that hour anyway. I decided to google upcoming movies and sequels. I came across this site with thousands of upcoming releases and some TBA releases. I thought I would share some that I thought were worth waiting for and some that are just interesting. So here they are with release dates for your viewing pleasure.

2009

August
14 - District 9
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
21 - Inglourious Basterds
28 - Halloween II

September
4 - Gamer
11 - 9
18 - The Informant!
23 - Astroboy
25 - Surrogates

October
2 - Toy Story in 3D (re-release)
9 - Couples Retreat
16 - Where the Wilds Things Are
23 - Saw VI

November
6 - The Box
13 - 2012
The Fantastic Mr. Fox

December
11 - Invictus
18 - Avatar
25 - Sherlock Holmes

2010

March 5 - Alice in Wonderland

April 30 - Nightmare on Elm Street

May
7 - Ironman 2
14 - Robin Hood
21 - Shrek Forever After

June
11 - The A-Team
18 - Toy Story 3

July
2 - The Last Airbender
9 - The Green Hornet

Sept. 17 - Resident Evil: Afterlife

Dec. 17 - Smurfs

2011

April 15 - Stretch Armstrong

May 6 - Spider-man 4

June
3 - Kung Fu Panda 2
17 - The Green Lantern

July
1 - Transformers 3
22 - Captain America

Car 54, where are you?

Ever wonder if you could buy an ambulance? Well you sure can, I have witnessed it first hand. I live with someone that decided it would be a good investment to get a '93 Ford...errr...well ambulance. Why you ask, well to have some sort of a mobile shed. That's always been my dream. Now owning an ambulance might have been cool when you were like 5 but at 50 it's kinda sad. Also when you buy a used ambulance they disconnect the lights and sirens, who the hell wants that? Now to actually own one of these beauts you first have to be a redneck or at least have a little redneck blood pumpin' through your veins.

Now my girlfriend Nicole makes a very valid point about this subject. She wonders how many people died in that thing and what diseases and germs are still floating around in there? I hope whoever sold it (I'm guessing a hospital and not another redneck before him) soaked that shit in some bleach. There might be some sort of new super virus growing in that thing, like a mix of SARS and swine flu with a trace of the plague, yeah that's still going around.

I know what you're thinking, that having an ambulance might be cool. It is actually a huge eye sore like having a giant naked statue of yourself in your yard, nobody wants to see that everyday. This thing is also attracts all the ladies, i heard someone installed a pussy magnet in it. "Now if i buy this Hummer you will install pussy magnet...." Now who doesn't love a good Borat joke. I love that movie, i still haven't seen Bruno yet but i heard it's pretty funny but that's for another entry. What was I talking about...? Oh yeah having your own mobile shed. The only time it is acceptable to have your own ambulance is if you are one of the Ghostbusters or Jay Leno (I'm sure he has one.)

I found one on Ebay if anybody is intrigued after reading this, only $1800 for an '88. I just put down a deposit on a '97 firetruck. I'm expecting to get it by Christmas.

Party trick to get you laid

Okay here is a cool coin trick or riddle or whatever you want to call it First I have to say that this probably won't get you laid but don't knock your chances. Grab some coins, you are going to need 1 quarter, 1 nickel and 1 dime. It would help if you had a table or desk or something flat to put them on. Arrange these coins in a row, quarter, nickel then dime.

Now here are the rules and stipulations:

1. The object is to get the quarter between the nickel and dime.

2. You can move and touch the quarter.

3. You can touch the nickel but you CANNOT MOVE IT. (this includes moving it with any body parts or another object or the quarter.)

4. You can move the dime but you CANNOT TOUCH IT. (this includes touching it with any body part or another object or the quarter.)

Have fun trying to figure this out. If you get the answer feel free to post the answer as a comment. If you go completely crazy trying to figure it out and almost kill yourself then email me at bluetorpedo84@yahoo.com

----------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

If I had a nickle...

... for everytime someone thought that my tattoo was “spider-man”, I would have enough money to get another tattoo under it that says “this is not spider-man, do not ask if it is.” Well I guess I can’t be surprised about it, the general population is uneducated on superhero/comic book symbols and knowledge. I’m seriously considering getting a tattoo on my other arm of the spider-man spider just so I can have visual evidence of the differences between them all the time.

My ink is the logo from the band COLD, unfortunately they have broken up. I didn’t do it for the band, I’m not a die hard fan (If you're thinking Bruce Willis, I love the movie). I got the tattoo because I liked the spider and figured not many people knew of the band. Also in 20 years when no one remembers the band it will just be a kick ass arachnid.
In truth my favorite band is Green Day but I wouldn’t get a tattoo of them for that reason, that’s dumb. I get pretty peeved when people such as u, probably, think my tat is Tobey Maguire’s secret identity. I’d compare it to asking a fat woman if she is pregnant, you never get a good reaction out of that question.
So for all of u folks that haven’t seen the movie, read the comics or watched the cartoon, it’s time to learn some useless knowledge. I mean right now or the next time someone is gonna get punched in the baby maker.

Reviews You Can't Use

Judd Apatow's best movie thus far. Funny people is hillarious. It's also a little dark because Adam Sandler is very ill and the cure lies in Seth Rogen's pants.
Don't listen to your moronic friends who saw it and said it wasn't good, they probably have the I.Q. of a hamster. Let them sit through that gerbil movie. It's a great comedy with some dark drama so let's call it a dramady. Now it might be a tad too long, but it still has an excellent story.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Adam Sandler's character is secretly gay because he is always jonesing to see Seth Rogen's thick, meaty cock. Jonah Hill plays Seth Rogen's friend in this film. Jonah is outstanding in this role and he kinda looks like Harry Potter that ate a few too many hobbits. (I know I'm referencing Harry Potter with LOTR but i don't care what u think, it's my review!) As a side note Apatow's wife stars in this film as well (she was Paul Rudd's wife in knocked up) and she is hot.
There is also an outrageous cameo by a very popular and well known rapper, however I won't disclose his name, legal reasons and all but i won't go into that. Both Sandler and Rogen both perform...... no not oral sex..... stand up comedy which Rogen hasn't done since he was 17 and said he will never do it again. Jason Schwartzman plays Rogen's wet douche of a roommate. The whole time you wish Rogen or Hill would just mushroom tattoo his face to put him in his place, maybe they do but u won't know until u see the movie.
Oh so you probably want to know the plot, well I guess I could squeeze that in here.
Adam Sandler's character is very sick and he hires Rogen's character as his personal assistant and joke writer. Leslie Mann stars as Sandler's ex and is married to Eric Bana. Bana does not reprise his role as The Hulk in this film, if he did i might have had to kill a midget. Did you know Bana was Australian? Neither did I!!



Funny people in theaters everywhere or at least i think so, if not you can find it somewhere on your own. I hope this review helped and if it didn't i don't care, you are reading it on a free blog website. If you want a real review go poke Roger Ebert on facebook, moron.