NEW MEXICO
In Carrizozo it is forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public. There must be a lot of streaking going on in that town.
In Deming persons may not spit on the steps of the opera house. Vomiting, urinating and defecating are perfectly okay.
In Deming hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. Take your zombie hunting to another cemetery.
NEW YORK
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. Dammit, I thought my topless car wash idea was genius.
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. What is the fine for dressing up your penis as Abraham Lincoln and walking around naked?
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. What if I'm just dong it out of boredom?
NORTH CAROLINA
The mere possession of a lottery ticket is illegal and may result in a $2,000 fine. If I'm a winner do I still get to keep the money?
It is against the law to sing off key. Britney Spears better stay our of NC.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. Just imagine how much they could fertilize the fields as they plow.
NORTH DAKOTA
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. So you are saying I need to sleep standing up if I want to keep my shoes on?
Beer and pretzels may not be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant. Beer and pretzels are like coke and pop rocks to them.
It is illegal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. This law only applies if you are playing the game Oregon Trail.
Showing posts with label laws. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laws. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, August 22, 2011
Weird Laws: Part 14
Another installment of weird laws of the U.S.
MONTANA
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail. No husband wants her wife finding out that he has fallen in love with a gay cowboy.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime. I didn't even know felonious was a word.
In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. How am I suppose compete in a death race?
NEVADA
In Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than him at any one period during the day. Who is keeping track of everyone's drink? Is that a high paying job?
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. It's because they can't reach the minimum speed of 40 mph.
In Eureka, men who wear mustaches are forbidden from kissing women. I found wear homosexuality got started.
NEW HAMPSHIRE
It is illegal to sell the clothes one is wearing to pay off a gambling debt. Dirty underwear has a low resale value.
It is illegal to check into a hotel under an assumed name. How else is a politician going to get way with cheating on his wife with a hooker?
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach. That is the lifeguard's job when he isn't gawking at young girls in bikinis.
NEW JERSEY
It is against the law to frown at a police officer. Frowning is the police officer's kryptonite, not many people know that.
In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6 pm unless the customer has a note from his/her doctor. Who? Dr. Pepper?
It is illegal to slurp soup. No note from your dentist is going to get you out of this one.
MONTANA
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail. No husband wants her wife finding out that he has fallen in love with a gay cowboy.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime. I didn't even know felonious was a word.
In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. How am I suppose compete in a death race?
NEVADA
In Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than him at any one period during the day. Who is keeping track of everyone's drink? Is that a high paying job?
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway. It's because they can't reach the minimum speed of 40 mph.
In Eureka, men who wear mustaches are forbidden from kissing women. I found wear homosexuality got started.
NEW HAMPSHIRE
It is illegal to sell the clothes one is wearing to pay off a gambling debt. Dirty underwear has a low resale value.
It is illegal to check into a hotel under an assumed name. How else is a politician going to get way with cheating on his wife with a hooker?
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach. That is the lifeguard's job when he isn't gawking at young girls in bikinis.
NEW JERSEY
It is against the law to frown at a police officer. Frowning is the police officer's kryptonite, not many people know that.
In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6 pm unless the customer has a note from his/her doctor. Who? Dr. Pepper?
It is illegal to slurp soup. No note from your dentist is going to get you out of this one.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Weird Laws: Part 13
If you came here expecting my movie review post, it has been moved to next week. Here are the next set of weird laws of the U.S.
MAINE
In Biddeford it is illegal to gamble at an airport. There was a problem with a guy guessing too many planes going down in flames.
In Freeport it is illegal to sell mercury thermometers. Too many kids think it's candy and cut their tongue on the thermometer trying to get to it.
MARYLAND
In Rockville it is illegal to swim in public fountains. Probably because so many people pee in those things.
In Cumberland it is illegal to swear on a playground. How am I suppose to express myself when I want to use the slide?
MASSACHUSETTS
It is illegal to serve beer to hospital patients. Are they talking about in the hospital or at the bar? Cuz unless they are wearing their gown at the bar, I wouldn't know if they were a hospital patient.
It is against the law for shooting ranges to have targets that look like humans. I will just post my exes face on a target of a bear then.
MICHIGAN
It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. All car sales people work part time as pastors and altar boys.
It is illegal to be drunk on a train. With a crane, heading to Tulane while eating chicken chow mein.
MINNESOTA
It is illegal to loiter near any structure or vehicle without the consent of the owner.What if I plan on stealing the car, do I need to give them a heads up?
In Minnetonka it is illegal to throw tacks, glass or nails onto a street or sidewalk. Dammit, that is how I celebrate 'step on something sharp day'.
MISSISSIPPI
It is illegal to seduce a woman by lying and promising to marry her. Mississippi must be filled with a lot of lesbians.
It is illegal to teach someone what polygamy is. Is that when you have sex with shapes?
MISSOURI
In Perryville it is illegal to injure any bird within city limits. Big Bird better stay the fuck of of Perryville if he knows what's good for him.
It is illegal for a bar owner to let people drink on his premises between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. That makes sense, that's when the vampires go to the bar and drink.
MAINE
In Biddeford it is illegal to gamble at an airport. There was a problem with a guy guessing too many planes going down in flames.
In Freeport it is illegal to sell mercury thermometers. Too many kids think it's candy and cut their tongue on the thermometer trying to get to it.
MARYLAND
In Rockville it is illegal to swim in public fountains. Probably because so many people pee in those things.
In Cumberland it is illegal to swear on a playground. How am I suppose to express myself when I want to use the slide?
MASSACHUSETTS
It is illegal to serve beer to hospital patients. Are they talking about in the hospital or at the bar? Cuz unless they are wearing their gown at the bar, I wouldn't know if they were a hospital patient.
It is against the law for shooting ranges to have targets that look like humans. I will just post my exes face on a target of a bear then.
MICHIGAN
It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. All car sales people work part time as pastors and altar boys.
It is illegal to be drunk on a train. With a crane, heading to Tulane while eating chicken chow mein.
MINNESOTA
It is illegal to loiter near any structure or vehicle without the consent of the owner.What if I plan on stealing the car, do I need to give them a heads up?
In Minnetonka it is illegal to throw tacks, glass or nails onto a street or sidewalk. Dammit, that is how I celebrate 'step on something sharp day'.
MISSISSIPPI
It is illegal to seduce a woman by lying and promising to marry her. Mississippi must be filled with a lot of lesbians.
It is illegal to teach someone what polygamy is. Is that when you have sex with shapes?
MISSOURI
In Perryville it is illegal to injure any bird within city limits. Big Bird better stay the fuck of of Perryville if he knows what's good for him.
It is illegal for a bar owner to let people drink on his premises between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. That makes sense, that's when the vampires go to the bar and drink.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Weird Laws: Part XII
The next installment of U.S. weird laws.
ILLINOIS
In Galesburg it is illegal to maintain an animal that disturbs others with it's odor or noise. Fran Drescher is banned from this town.
In Galesburg it is illegal for a bicycler to practice any acrobatic or fancy riding on any street. Is riding with no hands considered fancy?
INDIANA
It is illegal to inhale glue fumes. What will the elementary school kids do at recess?
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell candy. Good thing I get my liquor at the candy store.
IOWA
Tanning salons are required to post warnings about sunburns. I am going to recommend that these warning signs be posted at the beach. People are unaware of sunburns.
In Cedar Rapids it is illegal to tell fortunes. I was wondering why I never saw any gypsies there.
KANSAS
In Derby it is illegal to damage vending machines. I don't care about the law. If that machine takes my dollar I am opening up a can of whoop-ass on it.
In Overland Park it is illegal to picket funerals. I guess they will have to stick to picketing weddings, birthdays and hide 'n' seek.
KENTUCKY
Any person who interferes with a public speech can be fine up to $500. That goes for crying babies as well.
It is illegal to sell dyed chicks unless you are selling more than 6 of them. It's because you have to have all the colors of the rainbow.
LOUISIANA
Fake boxing or wrestling matches are against the law. Hulk Hogan isn't going to like this.
It is illegal to make insulting remarks to a contestant at a boxing match. If he punches like a girl he is going to hear it from my megaphone.
ILLINOIS
In Galesburg it is illegal to maintain an animal that disturbs others with it's odor or noise. Fran Drescher is banned from this town.
In Galesburg it is illegal for a bicycler to practice any acrobatic or fancy riding on any street. Is riding with no hands considered fancy?
INDIANA
It is illegal to inhale glue fumes. What will the elementary school kids do at recess?
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell candy. Good thing I get my liquor at the candy store.
IOWA
Tanning salons are required to post warnings about sunburns. I am going to recommend that these warning signs be posted at the beach. People are unaware of sunburns.
In Cedar Rapids it is illegal to tell fortunes. I was wondering why I never saw any gypsies there.
KANSAS
In Derby it is illegal to damage vending machines. I don't care about the law. If that machine takes my dollar I am opening up a can of whoop-ass on it.
In Overland Park it is illegal to picket funerals. I guess they will have to stick to picketing weddings, birthdays and hide 'n' seek.
KENTUCKY
Any person who interferes with a public speech can be fine up to $500. That goes for crying babies as well.
It is illegal to sell dyed chicks unless you are selling more than 6 of them. It's because you have to have all the colors of the rainbow.
LOUISIANA
Fake boxing or wrestling matches are against the law. Hulk Hogan isn't going to like this.
It is illegal to make insulting remarks to a contestant at a boxing match. If he punches like a girl he is going to hear it from my megaphone.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Weird Laws: Part X
Well I've gone through all the U.S. States once. How about I start from the beginning of the alphabet with some new laws, well not new but ones I haven't posted yet.
ALABAMA
It is illegal to pretend to be a clergyman. Even for Halloween? but that's the best costume.
It is illegal to injure yourself in order to escape duty. That's a little vague. Jury duty? Military duty? Dog duty?
ALASKA
In Anchorage, it is illegal to carry an animal on the outside of a vehicle. But my moose looks so good strapped to the front of my car.
In Haines, it is illegal to carry a concealed slingshot unless properly licensed. Damn, that's how I killed the moose.
ARIZONA
It is illegal to hunt camels. Are they just loose running around the desert?
It is illegal to manufacture or distribute any imitation controlled substance. They would rather you sell real cocaine and heroin.
ARKANSAS
In Little Rock it is illegal to honk your car's horn at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 p.m. WTF?!?!
In Little Rock, it is illegal to suddenly start or stop your car at any drive-in restaurant. I guess you have to throw your car in neutral and push it first.
CALIFORNIA
In Chico, it is illegal to play baseball on any street, sidewalk, lane or alley. This is how stick ball was invented.
In Cathedral City it is illegal to sleep in any parked car. You can't tell me what to do Cathedral City.
COLORADO
In Alamosa it is illegal to urinate or defecate in public. This one actually makes sense, why is this one weird? Unless public restrooms are illegal too.
It is illegal to mutilate, deface, disfigure or injure any rocks, trees, shrubbery or wild flowers in a state park. How does one mutilate or disfigure a rock?
ALABAMA
It is illegal to pretend to be a clergyman. Even for Halloween? but that's the best costume.
It is illegal to injure yourself in order to escape duty. That's a little vague. Jury duty? Military duty? Dog duty?
ALASKA
In Anchorage, it is illegal to carry an animal on the outside of a vehicle. But my moose looks so good strapped to the front of my car.
In Haines, it is illegal to carry a concealed slingshot unless properly licensed. Damn, that's how I killed the moose.
ARIZONA
It is illegal to hunt camels. Are they just loose running around the desert?
It is illegal to manufacture or distribute any imitation controlled substance. They would rather you sell real cocaine and heroin.
ARKANSAS
In Little Rock it is illegal to honk your car's horn at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 p.m. WTF?!?!
In Little Rock, it is illegal to suddenly start or stop your car at any drive-in restaurant. I guess you have to throw your car in neutral and push it first.
CALIFORNIA
In Chico, it is illegal to play baseball on any street, sidewalk, lane or alley. This is how stick ball was invented.
In Cathedral City it is illegal to sleep in any parked car. You can't tell me what to do Cathedral City.
COLORADO
In Alamosa it is illegal to urinate or defecate in public. This one actually makes sense, why is this one weird? Unless public restrooms are illegal too.
It is illegal to mutilate, deface, disfigure or injure any rocks, trees, shrubbery or wild flowers in a state park. How does one mutilate or disfigure a rock?
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