Monday, May 18, 2015

Thoughts of the grocery store cashier

Why do I always get the old lady with the check book?

K-Y Jelly and two bunches of bananas. What is this lady up to?

Please don't ask for paper

Who is this line would I have sex with?

Fuck you lady and your 87 coupons!!!

I hate my job, I hate my job, Doo da doo da doo doo do, I hate my job

I will pay you $20 to kill me with this watermelon

I don't even know this guy but I hate him soooo much

Let's see what today's tally is: 12 assholes, 3 pedophiles, 5 bitches, 9 morons, 2 visible boners, 10 women showing too much cleavage, 6 farts and one nose picker

Great idea bringing your 3 annoying kids grocery shopping

Who needs 11 jars of olives? 

This lady has 'punch me in the baby maker' written all over her face

Let's see 6 peaches with no produce label, thanks ya jerk

9 comments: said...

The men with the boners and the woman with bananas and KY Jelly should take their "business" to QuikMart.

I miss you! Thanks for dropping by. So good to see you again. I almost forgot what you looked like, but you're crusty as always.

Ms. A said...

How's that baby doing? She must be half grown by now!

Birgit said...

Now it's so nice to see you here. Your baby must be over 1 yr now? Too scary to see an old lady getting anything like that. At least she was not dressed like the people from Wal-Mart

Mark said...

I don't work in grocery but I am a cashier. I can confirm this is generally in line with some of the things I Find myself thinking.

A Beer for the Shower said...

My mom did this for 20 years, and... yes. To all of it.

"Please yell at me some more about not enough lines being open. I'm glad you know that it was totally my decision to not have more people working today. I definitely make those kinds of calls."

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Well, obviously no one took you up on that twenty dollar offer....

Adam said...

My mom used to do it for a few years. She missed it somewhat, but not her old managers.

Al Penwasser said...

And that Self-Scan machine which tells me to have a nice day. It makes me want to scream, "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!!"

Baby Sister said...

Welcome back!

I'm pretty impressed, as a cashier I can admit to having thought some of these things.