Zombie

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: I want to thank you for being here today and I also want to apologize for the restraints. I hope you understand. You are our guest but you simply can't be trusted.

Zombie: I totally understand. My first instinct when I saw you was to bite into your leg.

PTM: Then I am really glad we strapped you down. For your cooperation and understanding there are a few chickens, a deer and a koala bear in your dressing room.
Zombie: Ooooh, a koala bear. I've never had one of those. How fancy!


PTM: You star as one the zombies on the AMC series The Walking Dead. That must be exciting.
Zombie: I am one of the few real zombies on the show. Most of the zombies are actual actors. There isn't much work for a real zombie. I'm lucky to have gotten the job.


PTM: I was under the impression and I'm sure everyone else was too that zombies couldn't talk.
Zombie: That's what the producers and directors want you to think. For one, zombies are scarier when they don't talk. Second, when they do speak they sound as intelligent as Snooki or Paris Hilton.


PTM: That makes sense. A question I have always wondered: Do zombies poop?
Zombie: Very infrequent. My metabolism is extremely slow so I take a shit maybe once a month.


PTM: If you could eat any celebrity, who and why?
Zombie: John Goodman. Not only would it be a filling meal but I also loved the sitcom Roseanne and the film The Big Lebowski.


PTM: I thought you would of picked someone that you hated. I've always wondered is eating another dude kind of gay?
Zombie: At first it's weird but you get used to it. I save the genital and rectum for last.


PTM: I hope I can get that image out of my head. I just stop thinking about Rosie O'donnell eating twinkies.
Zombie: Do you think a zombie will ever be elected President?


PTM: It would be the shortest presidency. Some gun nut would assassinate that zombie leader real quick like.
Zombie: What if
gunshot echoes through studio and the zombie's head explodes


PTM: Oh shit!! I said shoot him in he gets out of his restraints!!
Terry (the producer): Sorry, he was creeping me out.

PTM: Dammit!! He was my in to get to be an extra on The Walking Dead. No I will never accomplish my dream. Man, the cleaning guy is going to be so pissed tonight.

Yakko

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: What are you doing with your life since the Animaniacs?

Yakko: I have been a writer for Conan O'brien.

PTM: That sounds awesome. I love Conan.

Yakko: He is pretty likable.

PTM: What can you tell us about Conan that we wouldn't know?

Yakko: When he isn't on camera, he has a German accent.

PTM: Really? That's weird. I always thought he was Irish, go figure. How are Wakko and Dot?

Yakko: Wakko works for a traveling circus, I don't see or talk to him much anymore. Dot is a single mom with 13 kids living in Ohio.

PTM: That sounds pretty rough. Can I ask who the father of the 13 kids are or is it more than one?

Yakko: All from that asshole Kevin Federline.

PTM: What a douche. I hope he pays child support.

Yakko: Dot and Britney Spears fight over who should get more child support.

PTM: Do you have any kids?

Yakko: No kids for me. I was castrated at a young age.

PTM: Umm, okay? Why did that happen?

Yakko: After Wakko was born my mom didn't want anything similar to him in the world.

 PTM: That does make sense. What is the capital of Alabama?

Yakko: That's easy, Yo mama!

PTM: Well that is all the time we have today. Come back tomorrow as we wrap up with this A to Z thingamajig.

X-Men

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

A list of not-so-well-known things about the X-men

Wolverine - Likes to write poetry

Cyclops - Has an extensive stamp collection

Jean-Grey - Has a tattoo of Charles Xavier on her back

Beast - Practices Buddhism

Storm - Cheats at board games

Professor X - Plays with rubber duckies in the tub

Gambit - Has seen the Sex and the City movies 24 times

Iceman - Drinks only Evian water

Colossus- Crochets scarfs for his friends

Rogue - Poops her pants when tickled

Magneto - Is allergic to bubblegum

Wilford Brimley

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: You are probably all wondering the same thing, "PTM if your theme is fictional characters, why do you have Wilford Brimley on the show today? He is a real person." I will let Wilford answer that question.

Wilford: I am not Wilford Brimley. The real Wilford Brimley died in 2009. I am a an advanced robot created by the Liberty Medical company. 

PTM: Let me guess, he died from Diabetic related issues?
Wilford: Nope, truth is he never had Diabetes. He died while skydiving, both his lungs exploded during the fall.

PTM: That's terrible. Do you know if other companies use robots to sponsor their products?
Wilford: I am not at liberty to say. I could be terminated from giving that information out.

PTM: Come on robot Wilford, just give us one company and one other robot.
Wilford: Ok, Colonial Penn Life Insurance uses a robot of Alex Trebek. He is still alive but he is always so busy that they needed a robot in order to use his likeness.

PTM: See, that wasn't so bad. No harm, no foul. Trebek needs to grow back his mustache.
Wilford: I concur.
Beep Beep Beep 'Self destruct mode activated, Warning, Warning!'

PTM: What the hell is that?
Wilford: Liberty Medical must be monitoring me. They must not like me being here talking about this stuff. They have initiated my self destruct mode. In 30 seconds I will explode.
PTM: OH SHIT!! EVERY ONE TAKE COVER!!!

Wilford: Goodbye cruel world.
Wilford self destructs. Robot parts everywhere.
PTM: Ok, the coast is clear. Wow, the janitor is going to have fun cleaning this mess up. I'm sure Liberty Medical has a whole warehouse of Wilford Brimleys. Let's end the show here before I self destruct. Bye.

Victim

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

Terry (the producer): I am sorry to inform you that Powdered Toast Man has been kidnapped by Snooki and Justin Bieber. Apparently they found out that PTM had a sniper following them around so he could take them out with just a phone call. Don't worry, Snooki and Bieber aren't that intelligent, we will find PTM later today and he will be back hosting the show tomorrow. I am just going to call Snooki pretending to be Barack Obama and find out where they are hiding PTM. If you see Bieber today, kick him in the head.

Underdog

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: Thanks for being here today. Did you fly or drive here?

Underdog: My mom actually drove me. She doesn't like me flying to places I haven't been before.

PTM: So you still live with your mom?

Underdog: I like to see it as she lives with me.

PTM: Who has the master bedroom?

Underdog: She does (sighing)

PTM: Then you still live with her, momma's boy. So how many capes do you own?

Underdog: One for every day of the week plus three alternates. How many do you have?

PTM: I consider myself a cape connoisseur, I own 365 but they are more for show now. I have a few that I wear including a bathrobe cape and a towel cape. Who is your nemesis nowadays?

Underdog: Mr. Bigglesworth from the Austin Powers franchise.

PTM: What a coincidence, I had him on last week. He seemed harmless.

Underdog: That's what he wants you to think. Now that your guard is down he could easily cut your throat. You are brave for being in the same room with that mad cat.

PTM: (snickering) I will be on the look out for him and I will beef up my security. Do you eat dog food and biscuits or human food?

Underdog: Well, I don't make much money as a superhero so I can only afford dog food. Once in a blue moon I will splurge and get a Big Mac or some beef jerky.

PTM: Well as a token of our gratitude and appreciation for all your heroic efforts we present you with a $25 Chili's gift card. Don't tell your mom about it.

Underdog: Thank you so much. I have heard good things about the molten lava cake.

PTM: You're welcome. And now that you have been here hopefully your mom will let you fly next time you visit. 

Underdog: Would you like to meet her?

PTM: And look at that, we are out of time. That's our show for today. See you next time.

Taco Bell Chihuahua: Where is she now?

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

Taco Bell used the Chihuahua in their advertisements from 1997 to 2001. You might have wondered why they stopped if every one loved that dog. I am hear to give you the inside scoop. If you have researched it on your own, you might have read it was due to some lawsuit. Well that is what the corporate big wigs want you to think. I have the truth behind the disappearance of the dog in the commercials.

Gidget is her real name. One day she went for a walk back in 2001 and some old lady snatched her up thinking she was one of her missing cats. After her disappearance the Taco Bell people got worried. They searched for her for about a week and then gave up. They didn't want to get any bad publicity so they just started running new commercials and didn't explain why. After awhile people forgot about the Taco Bell Chihuahua and the company was in the clear.

Meanwhile Gidget was trapped in this old lady's house. This old lady was convinced that Gidget was one of her missing cats. Gidget was forced to use a litter box and was fed cat food. When Gidget would bark, she was smacked so she had to learn how to meow. The old lady had other small dogs that she treated like cats. The other dogs told Gidget that there was no way out, that they have been there for years. She was held prisoner for 7 years and had convinced herself that she was a cat. In early 2009 the old lady croaked but with no family or friends nobody knew about it for months. Eventually the animals ran out of food and were forced to 'kill or be killed'. During a fight with a Yorkie, Gidget suffered a stroke and died. She will be missed and I hope this gets out and people know the real story.

PTM: I am being interviewed by Hart over at Confessions of a Watery Tart today.

SpongeBob: Random Thoughts & Shit

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: I am pretty sure that most of you folks have either watched SpongeBob on the boob tube or have heard about him. I have him on the show today but instead of doing the typical interview we are going to do something different. We are going to hook him up to a machine and read his thoughts while he watches some episodes of his own show.

Random Thoughts of SpongeBob SquarePants

I bet if I pretended to be gay, Patrick would copy me and be gay too.

I wonder if Mr. Krabs would fire me if he knew how many Krabby patties I dropped on the floor?

What did Sandy mean when she said she was 'going to ride me like a pony'?

How do fires start underwater all the time?

Squidward really needs to get laid, he is so stressed out.

Plankton kind of looks like a penis.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I do, I do!!

Does Gary know where I hide my porn?

I wish I could grow a mustache like Burt Reynolds.

I have such a craving for a Doritos Locos Taco.

Is Mrs. Puff actually a giant potato?

I know we never talk about religion but Mr. Krabs must be Jewish.

Rainbow Brite Interview

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: Welcome Rainbow Brite, I'm glad you could join us. What are you doing with your time nowadays?

Rainbow Brite: Since kids stopped giving a shit about me I decided  to become frienamies with the Evil Princess. She’s really not so bad so long as you keep bringing her gems and gifts. It’s pretty convenient actually since the Sprites just mine the jewels and give them to me all the time, suckers.

PTM: Do you still keep in touch with Starlite and Twink?

Rainbow Brite: Of course. Starlight is my boy! Do you know how expensive gas is in my land? You think you have it bad, you don’t. I can’t give up a free method of transportation…plus it’s badass showing up on a flying horse. As for Twinkle, he’s pretty busy overseeing the other Sprites but we text every now and then.

PTM: Do you feel that you are still relevant?

Rainbow Brite: Not that the shit kids of today would know it, but of course I am! You like color in your world right? Well, you think it just magically appears!? I have to lug around this scepter, belt, and fly all over the place creating color and happiness and what thanks do I get!?  None, but I’m not bitter at

all…no, I just love working to help people who never say thank you. 

PTM: Is it true that G.I. Joe asked you out back in the day but you turned him down?

Rainbow Brite: That guy! Psssh, Yeah, he made a pass at me once but he stood no chance. I tried letting him down easy but you’d be amazed how handsy he could get. Eventually I sent Krys after him. He moved on to She-Ra after that but I hear that didn’t go over so well for him either.

PTM: My sister is a big fan of yours. Any chance you could make a house call and surprise her for her birthday?

Rainbow Brite: I’d love to! My fans mean the world to me. There are some loyal fans out there that are a tad creepy (grown men really shouldn’t be requesting I stop by their house and hang out) but since you’ve been so nice to me I’m sure your sister will be a gem. Email me the details.

PTM: Do you have a blog?

Rainbow Brite: I had one for a little while when everyone and their mother was getting a blog but found that I just didn’t have the time to keep up with it. I’m a busy woman, you know? It was fun while it lasted though. 

PTM: Now that you're older it isn't weird that I fantasize about you. Your breasts have filled in quite nicely. Maybe after the show, we go for a drink?

Rainbow Brite: Wow, so that whole you’ve been nice to me thing…yeah. Uh…that’s really sweet of you. I mean, I work hard to stay in shape and always appreciate when that’s noticed but I’m kinda with somebody. After spending all that time together Brian finally made a move and well, we’re an item now. Sorry.

PTM: Have you and Barbie resolved your difference or do you still think she is a bitch?

Rainbow Brite: If I can be friends with the Princess I can be friends with Barbie. Well, at least on the surface. I mean honestly, pick a fucking job! You can’t shop, lounge in Malibu, and get your hair done all day AND still be a doctor, astronaut, Veterinarian, Secretary, CEO, ballerina, news anchor…the list goes on and on. She’s just so wishy washy.

PTM: Wilfred Brimley, Pee-Wee Herman and Oz from the Wizard of Oz: Marry, fuck, kill. Go.

Rainbow Brite: You’re an asshole! This isn’t even fair! Alright, I’m going to marry Wilfred (he won’t last long with the diabetes and all), I’ll fuck the Wizard (dude’s gotta know some tricks) and I’m killing that sick fuck Pee-Wee (I don’t like the way he looks at my kid friends).

PTM: I would like to thank Jewels over at According to Jewels for playing the part of Rainbow Brite. Give the woman some blog love.

Quailman

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: If you watched Doug on Nickelodeon then you know who Quailman is. If you didn't then you might be wondering who this guy is. I am positive you will still enjoy the interview.

Quailman: I'm pretty sure everybody knows who I am PTM.

PTM: I hope they do or our ratings are going to plummet after today. Let's get this interview rolling, I have a massage appointment in the next hour.

Quailman: I can massage you right now if you want?

PTM: That is a little weird, I just met you and you are wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants.

Quailman: This is my superhero outfit.

PTM: So kind of like Superman?

Quailman: Whose he?

PTM: You don't know who Superman is? You call yourself a superhero and you don't know who the Man of Steel is?
Quailman: I have never heard of a guy made entirely of steel. I know Batman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man, Aqua Man and many others.

PTM: No, he's not made of steel, he is strong like steel. This is going to bother me the whole time. How can anyone not know who Superman is? That is like never hearing of Santa Claus or Jesus Christ.
Quailman: Just get over it man, it's not a big deal. Can you ask me some questions already.

PTM: Fine but it is still going to bother me. What are your super abilities and what is your ultimate weakness?
Quailman: I can play a trash can like a drum and I am good at math. My weakness is doing the dishes.

PTM: No wonder you could never get into Patty Mayonnaise's pants.
Quailman: Don't you talk bad about Patty!!

PTM: Or what? You are going to whip me with that belt that you have wrapped around your head?
Quailman: Did you just bring me on to make fun of me?

PTM: No but that's where it seems to be going.
Quailman: No one respects me. Starts to sob

PTM: Gee, I wonder why? You have to be tough to be a superhero. Once you stop being a pussy then maybe people will start respecting you.
Quailman: You really think so? Talking through his tears

PTM: I know so. Now man up!! Go toughen yourself up. Hit the gym, watch some Stallone movies and get a new outfit. In a couple of months I will have you back on and we will see what progress you have made.
Quailman: I'm gonna do!! Thanks PTM. I'm ready to be a real man.
PTM: Now get the hell out of here. I'm going to be late for my massage.

Powdered Toast Man

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: You are probably thinking "is he going to interview himself? He has finally gone crazy." No, I haven't gone that crazy yet. Today I am going to share my pros and cons list about myself. And who better to do that than me? Before I start I just want to point out how sexy I look in that picture. I know what you are thinking ladies and the answer is yes.

Pros

I have a killer physique

I have a great sense of humor

I know the Muffin Man

My penis has it's own blog

LL Cool J asks me for advice on the ladies

I can fart cinnamon sugar on command

My great-great grandfather knew the guy that invented ketchup

With just a phone call I have the ability to take out Justin Bieber or Snooki if need be

I am still close friends with Ren & Stimpy

I am fertile, my wife is pregnant

Cons

I'm married, sorry ladies

My head attracts a lot of hungry birds

I am known to start fights with random homeless people at soup kitchens

I have never seen Game of Thrones

I know longer receive royalty checks for being on Ren & Stimpy

I was drunk on election day in 2004 and voted for Bush

I am allergic to small boobs

I get teased when people don't recognize me

I have recurring zombie nightmares

I am addicted to sniffing jelly beans

Optimus Prime

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: How awesome would it be to have Optimus Prime on the show today? I know, pretty awesome. Unfortunately we forgot that he is the size of a semi truck and can't fit inside the studio. We then had the idea to have him on via skype but he doesn't know how to even though he is a technologically advanced robot. So I did the last thing I could think of and sent him out a questionnaire. Here is how he responded.

Questionnaire

1) What is your favorite movie? - I know it is kind of cliche and selfish but I love the Transformers movie. Michael Bay did an awesome job.

2) What is your favorite food? - I don't have any digestive organs.

3) Who is your favorite actor? - You are probably expecting me to write Shia Lebeouf. He is my 3rd favorite. I am a huge fan of Jeff Bridges. Who doesn't love The Big Lebowski?

4) Why does Megatron hate you so much? - We actually used to be best friends up until middle school. I became cool and he didn't and he has resented me ever since. 

5) Do you think Megan Fox is as attractive as every one says she is? - If I had a penis, I'd hit that.

6) A lot of people were disappointed with the last two Transformers movies. Do you think Michael Bay can make it up in the next sequel? - I don't know, go ask Bumble Bee that question.

7) When you switch into a semi truck, do you need gas to move? - Yes, I hate waiting in line at the gas station, so many of them don't have diesel.

8) What is your favorite band/singer? - Justin Beiber, no just kidding, imagine? I like hard stuff like Korn, Tool, Slipknot and Iron Maiden.

9) If you could change your name, what would you change it to? - I have an awesome name but if I had to change it, I would go by Tackle Box.

10) What is your favorite cartoon? - Tiny Toon Adventures.

Ninja Turtles: Teenage Mutant Variety

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: We have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the studio today. Instead of our normal interview we are going to play a game show. It is sort of like Jeopardy but I can't call it that or Alex Trebek will sue me again. The rules are simple, I will ask a total of 5 questions (because we have limited time) and any one of the turtles can answer. Correct answer gets you one point, incorrect answers make you look stupid. Winner gets some frozen pizzas. Michelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo and Raphael, you ready?

Turtles: Yeah!

PTM: What is Shredder's favorite food?

Michelangelo: Pizza!!

PTM: Wrong, idiot. Any one else want to guess?

Raphael: Sushi.

PTM: Good guess but still incorrect.

Donatello and Leonardo shrug their shoulders.

PTM: The correct answer is turtle soup. Next question, What is Splinter's favorite color?

Leonardo: Green!

PTM: Nope.

Donatello: Red?

PTM: Wrong again. Fellas?

Michelangelo and Raphael look at each other puzzled.

PTM: It was actually a trick question. Splinter is color blind. Let's move on. Which animal is known for it's unusually long neck?

Michelangelo: A turkey.

PTM: Mike you need to stop guessing, that's incorrect.

Donatello: A giraffe.

PTM: Nope. Wait, that is the right answer. Good job Don, you are in the lead. Who is noted as being the Father of Soul Music?

Leonardo: O.J. Simpson.

PTM: That is just wrong dude.

Raphael: Don King.

PTM: Very funny Raph. Ray Charles is the Father of Soul. Read a book once in awhile. Last question, finish this sentence: Where in the world is...?

Michelangelo: Waldo!

PTM: Wrong as usual.

Leonardo: The Muffin Man.

PTM: Nope. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego. And the winner with one question right is Donatello. Here is a coupon to get yourself 3 Celeste frozen pizzas. 

Donatello: Seriously?

PTM: We don't have a big budget on this show. Be glad you are getting anything. That coupon comes out of my paycheck. Thanks for coming to play the game Turtles. I hope Michael Bay doesn't ruin the remake.

Mr.....

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: So I was suppose to have Mr. Ed on the program today. I figured having a talking horse would be pretty awesome. My producers have informed me that Mr. Ed couldn't actually talk, that he was voiced by Allan Lane. I decided if I couldn't have a talking horse why not have the man behind the horse? 

Terry (my producer): Umm PTM, Mr. Ed and Allan Lane died over 40 years ago.

PTM: What?!? How did I not know this? Who am I suppose to have on as a guest now?

Terry (my producer): Give me15 minutes, I will see who is available last minute.

PTM: I guess we will wait. If you have to use the bathroom or need a snack, I would take advantage of the break.

Jeopardy music plays

............................

...................

............

.......

....

..

.

Terry: We got someone!!

PTM: Who?

Terry: Mr. Bigglesworth from the Austin Powers franchise. He is actually only a few minutes away.

PTM: I guess a talking cat is just as good as a talking horse. Bring him aboard.

more waiting

.......

.....

...

..

.

A man holding Mr. Bigglesworth enters. Places him in the interview chair.

PTM: Thank you for joining us on such short notice.

Mr. Bigglesworth: He starts licking himself.

PTM: Do you live close by?

Mr. Bigglesworth: Meows and starts to claw the chair.

PTM: Are you purposely ignoring me? Do you not want to be here?

Mr. Bigglesworth: Looks at PTM and goes back to licking himself.

PTM: Ok, is this a joke or something? Terry, are you behind this?

Terry: I spoke to a gentleman on the phone and he said he was bringing Mr. Bigglesworth.

Man that carried in Mr. B: You spoke to me. What's the problem?

PTM: Why isn't he talking?

Man: He's just a cat. He doesn't talk.

PTM: Terry, why did you tell me that this cat talked?

Terry: I thought he did.

PTM: And you, whatever your name is, weren't you at all curious about why we would want to interview a cat?

Man: I was told I would get $150 for bringing him here.

Mr. B. starts to cough up a hairball.

PTM: Well you have been lied to. Take that cat and get off my stage!!

Man storms off with Mr B. who is still coughing.

PTM: Well this day has gone no where. Sorry for the confusion folks. Hopefully the next guest we have will be alive and able to speak.

Lara Croft: Pros & Cons

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

Lara Croft is the main character from the video game Tomb Raider.

Pros

Has big boobs

Knows how to handle a gun

Makes a mean bacon, egg & cheese sandwich

Is involved with training Navy SEALS

Had Angelina Jolie play her in two movies

Helped President Jimmy Carter kick his silly putty addiction

President of The Walking Dead fan club

Has big boobs

Cons

Even though she is hot, she is just a video game character

Has taken candy from a baby on numerous occasions

Can't pee standing up

Has five over due library books

Is addicted to watching Teen Mom

Is waiting until marriage to lose her virginity

Allergic to small penises

Afraid of the dark

Kanga

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: I have brought in Kanga from the Hundred Acre Wood. She is a huge gossip and knows all the dirty little secrets about all of her friends including Winnie the Pooh. Okay Kanga I am just going to mention someone and you tell us what juicy info that you know about them.

Kanga: I have so much stuff to tell you!!

PTM: Eeyore.

Kanga: Let's just say that his tail isn't the only things he likes to nail into his behind.

PTM: Rabbit.

Kanga: Massive speed freak. Why else do you think he is so tidy?

PTM: Owl.

Kanga: Has been to jail several times on 'Peeping Tom" charges. One more strike and it is off to the big house.

PTM: Piglet.

Kanga: Has been in 10 hardcore pornos as a dominatrix. I haven't seen any yet.

PTM: Tigger.

Kanga: Was in and out of Foster Homes as a child. Spent some time in Juvenile Halls too.

PTM: Roo.

Kanga: I know he is my son but I have to dish. He has a collage of Eeyore pictures and several albums of just Eeyore. It is kind of creepy.

PTM: Christopher Robin.

Kanga: Gets off on torturing squirrels and chipmunks.

PTM: Winnie the Pooh.

Kanga: This one is probably the most shocking. Winnie the Pooh is actually allergic to honey. What you see him eat is some weird substitute that looks like honey.

PTM: Now that you revealed everyone's secrets, it is time to tell everyone what you have been hiding.

Kanga: I don't have any secrets. You don't have anything on me.

PTM: According to a trusted source who shall remain anonymous, Kanga used to be Kango. He had a sex change operation about 22 years ago. He is actually Roo's father. Roo's real mother died during childbirth. What do you have to say about that?

Kanga: It's true, it's all true. Just don't tell Roo. He isn't ready to know yet.
PTM: You heard it hear first folks, Kanga is actually a dude.

Joker

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: Some of these guests are tough to get on the show. First they agree to come and then they cancel last minute because their evil plans get in the way. Any who, I was suppose to have Joker (the villain of Batman) on the show today. Even thought he couldn't make it down he did fill out a questionairre about himself. This part of the Joker's Bucket List.

1) Adopt a kitten

2) Try on the Batsuit

3) Have tea with the Queen

4) Finish a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle

5) Run for the Mayor of Gotham City

6) Start a Blog

7) Participate in the A to Z Challenge

8) Apologize to all the Rodeo Clowns I have insulted

9) Meet Snooki and punch her baby

10) Get my motorcycle license

11) Be a contestant on Wheel of Fortune

12) See Mila Kunis naked

13) Learn to speak two other languages (not French)

14) Play one on one basketball with Shaq

Invisible Man

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: The Invisible Man was nice enough to bring us pictures of all the people he met and all the places he visited in his lifetime. Surprisingly he was able to get into every picture. Unfortunately he couldn't stay for an interview. He said his invisible dog got loose and it takes him forever to find it. Enjoy the snap shots.



Here he is standing next to the Washington Monument


Having a moment with the President


In front of the Berlin Wall


At the bar with Fred and Barney


Taking a moon walk with an astronaut


Having some grub with Jesus


Chillin' with Kiss


Bowling with Peg and Al Bundy


Got to be an extra in Pirates of the Caribbean


Here he is at the Super Bowl


Hanging out with the cast of The Jersey Shore


Got to be a guest on Conan

PTM: Those are all the pictures he brought this time. He is looking good for his age, don't you think? I hope he finds his dog and brings us more pictures next time he stops by. Maybe then I can actually get a real interview with him.

Hamburglar from Prison & Special Guest

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

PTM: We have taken the show on the road today. We are here at the prison where the infamous Hamburglar is serving out his days. This is my first time inside a prison. I hope I don't get raped. Thank you Hamburglar for letting us come and interview you. Here with me today to translate for Hamburglar is Hart Johnson from Confessions of a Watery Tart. Hamburglar, do you get many visitors?
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart (acting as translator): First, Mr. Burglar wants to thank you for visiting him today. He gets visits,but not by the variety of people he really hopes for. And this is his first visit from a super hero. Ronald McDonald visits him every Tuesday, but clowns creep him out, so he filed an injunction to keep him out.
PTM: Clowns creep me out too. How long have you been in here and howmuch longer do you have?
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart: He’s actually only been back here three months, but he’s here this time under the three strikes
law, so he’s in a good long time this time.
PTM: Did Mcdonald's train you to steal hamburgers or did you already have that skill?
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart: It was a rogue PR agent who found him and set up the first theft, but *turning back to Hamburglar.
Hamburglar: Robble robble.
Tart: Are you sure you want to say that?
Hamburglar: Robble robble.
Tart: He says he’s pretty sure the French fries have crack in them. The burgers are for show—to fit the
name, but he’s addicted to the fries.
PTM: Good thing I am already addicted to crack or I would be worried. What did you do with all the burgers? You couldn't of eaten all of them.
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart: He built an igloo that he lives in when he's not in prison. He speaks highly of the quality of them as
building material.
PTM: That's awesome. I want an igloo made of burgers. What the fuck IS Grimace? Nobody can tell me.
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart: He’s shocked you don’t see the resemblance in appearance and intelligence. He’s Rush Limbaugh’s
twin brother. Obviously Rush is the evil twin.
PTM: That makes more sense. I just thought he was a screwed up chicken nugget. Have you "dropped the soap" yet?
Hamburglar: *squeal * Robble.
Tart: Erm.
PTM: I will take that as a yes. What is the first thing you are going to do when you get out?
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble *stands and starts to hip swivel*
Tart: Dance club, he says. He’s learned the Macarena in here.
PTM: I can do a mean funky chicken. I heard your wife has been shacking up with Captain Crunch. How does that make you feel?
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart: He says payback is only fair. The good Captain has spent a lot of time at sea over the years,
if you know what I mean. He said that, not me—the if you know what I mean.
PTM: Have you seen The Avengers yet? That movie is awesome.
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble.
Tart: He says the prison only shows animated movies with no violence, but he speaks highly of Finding
Nemo.
Hamburglar: *puts hands over heart*
PTM: Finding Nemo is one of my favorite movies. Did you know they are coming out with a sequel in 2015 called Finding Dory? Last question. My cat has been meowing a lot even after I feed him and change his kitty litter. What do you think he wants?
Hamburglar: Robble robble robble robble?
Tart: Yeah, what he said.
PTM: I am now being told that visiting hours are over. I am also just realizing that I left the cake with a file in it in the car. I want to thank Hart Johnson for translating for me since I don't speak Hamburglar and I don't think many people do. 

Gumby: Diary Entries

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

The Gumby Show aired from 1957 to 1968. I remember watching Gumby as a kid and I was born in 1984. I guess they were still airing reruns on one of the stations. During Gumby's time on the show he kept a private journal that hardly anybody knew about. I called in some favors and did some favors that I'm not really proud of to get my hands on that journal/diary. I will randomly select some entries and share them with you to judge.

10/19/1958 - I really wish they had made me with a penis. I get so horny sometimes and I can't even jerk off. It drives me crazy!!

8/02/1959 - Sometimes I like to pet Pokey while he is sleeping. He makes funny noises in his sleep. Sometimes he wakes up and I just make him believe that he is dreaming.

6/24/1960 - I am sick of being green. I wish there was a way to change my skin color. If I was black, I would be much happier.

4/11/1962 - After five years, I am still not sure what animal Pokey is suppose to be. Dog? Horse? Donkey? Monkopotamus?

2/14/1963 - It's Valentine's Day, should I finally tell Pokey how I feel about him?

9/10/1963 - I don't know why everyone likes this John F. Kennedy guy. I think he is kind of a douche and I hope something happens to him.

11/23/1963 - Oh, shit!!

5/19/1967 - I need to get stoned real bad.

Frogger: Random Facts

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

If you are old enough, you probably have played the Frogger arcade game. Hopping across roads and logs and eating flies is all that little frog knows how to do. Other than that I bet you didn't know much about him. I am going to change that. Here are some random not-so-known facts about Frogger.

He had a short stint as the drummer for Styx in the spring of 1976.

He tried out to be the mascot for Corn Flakes.

He was married to Miss Piggy for about a week before it was annulled.

His mother refers to him as Da' Frawg and he hates it.

He prefers turkey bacon to real bacon.

There was a script written for a Frogger movie in the 90's but it was never made.

He owns the 3rd largest collection of Pokemon cards.

Was born with a full functional third kidney.

Has a reoccurring nightmare about being hit by a semi-truck.

Has a phobia of chickens.

Had a twin sister that died at birth.

Elmer Fudd: Where are they now?

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

I put out a crack pot investigative team to find out what Elmer Fudd has been up to for the past few years. They scoured the globe interviewing people and collecting information, at least that is what they told me, for all I know they could have been at Six Flags for the past few weeks.

This is what they found out:

After Elmer Fudd's pathetic attempt at rabbit hunting, he traveled the world hunting almost every other animal that was legal to hunt. Again, the animals outsmarted him and he wasn't successful in killing any of them. Frustrated with his failed hunting escapades, he began drinking heavily at bars. He became addicted to Big Buck Hunter Arcade games. Elmer would go to random bars, get very drunk and play Buck Hunter until he was kicked out of the bar. His addiction shifted from Big Buck Hunter to games like Modern Warfare and Halo. Elmer spent hours playing violent video games in order to quench his thirst for hunting and killing. But that wasn't enough.

After a short while no video game could satisfy his addiction. We still don't know how or why but Elmer Fudd got mixed up with the wrong individuals and ended up in the jungles of South America hunting people for sport. His exact whereabouts are still unknown, nobody knows if he is alive or dead and little information is known about the people he got mixed up with. If you have any information pertaining to the location of Elmer Fudd please let the FBI and the CIA know. He is wanted for questioning but the authorities won't tell us what crimes he committed. I wouldn't recommend making any vacation plans to South America.

Donkey Kong Interview

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio

PTM: I am a big fan of yours Mr. Kong. I am so excited that you could join us today.

Donkey Kong: Thank you. I love meeting my fans. I never heard of you before but I am glad to get to know you.

PTM: Well Diddy Kong knows me pretty well. He never talks about me?

DK: Nope, I would remember a name like Powdered Toast Man.

PTM: It doesn't matter. So what are you up to nowadays?

DK: I took a little time off from the video game world. I have always had a dream of inventing my own board game, so I have been working on that.

PTM: That's awesome, that is one of my dreams too!! Maybe we can join forces and create a new children's game?

DK: My dream is to make X-rated board games.

PTM: Oh, well that wouldn't work for children.

DK: We can open up a new market for kinky children.

PTM: I'm not sure that would work out too well. Sex and children doesn't sell unless you are in a foreign country. I don't want to be associated with sex board games for kids.

DK: I will take the idea to Germany, I'm sure they have sexy kids there.

PTM: Whatever floats your boat man. I have always wondered something, I know you probably get this all the time but are you related to King Kong at all?

DK: I do get that question a lot but I have learned not to get mad from all the questioning. He is my great Uncle. I never met him and don't know much about him.

PTM: I won't ask any more questions about him then. Do you get recognized a lot when you are out in public?

DK: I am a famous talking Gorilla, what do you think?

PTM: You don't have to be sarcastic. You can just be civil and answer the question.

DK: When it is a stupid question I am allowed to be sarcastic.

PTM: That's it, interview over. No one disrespects me on my own show.

DK: It's not even your show. You just took over James Lipton's show.

PTM: Shut up DK. Security, can you show out this damn dirty ape. That's the last time I interview him.

Cookie Monster Interview

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.


I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio

I have a special guest playing the part of Cookie Monster today.

PTM: I have been trying to sit down with you for almost 2 years. You must be busy nowadays. Any big projects lined up?

Cookie Monster: I have a gig coming up with the Keebler Elves. I guess they’re desperate.

PTM: I'm going to get this question out of the way because I know every one is dying to know. What is your favorite cookie?

Cookie Monster: Actually I am burnt out on cookies! Too damn crumbly. Bagels are the future, man.

PTM: You must go through a ton of shampoo and conditioner per week?

Cookie Monster: None! I bathe in eggs. Keeps the fur shiny.

PTM: I guess that makes sense. Were you able to help out Big Bird with his cocaine problem?

Cookie Monster: That bird is still higher than a kite! He’s determined to fly and thinks coke is his only chance.

PTM: I hope he snaps out of it and gets the help he needs. The blogosphere is centered around Alex J Cavanaugh and his blog. We all love and follow him. What is one thing you don't like about him?

Cookie Monster: He’s too damned nice! I mean really – he likes helping other bloggers? Who is he, Mother Theresa?

PTM: I wasn't aware that Mother Theresa helped a lot of bloggers. What would be your death bed confession?

Cookie Monster: I licked all of the produce in Mr. Hooper’s store.

PTM: That explains why most of the cast was always sick. Has your mom and dad always supported you?

Cookie Monster: My parents are gourmet chefs at a Japanese steak house. They have never understood me.

PTM: Rashida Jones or Jenna Fisher, would would you rather go on a date with?

Cookie Monster: I’d do Jenna Fisher in a heartbeat.

PTM: Me too but I would let Rashida watch. Why do people feel the need to text while at the movie theater during the movie?

Cookie Monster: Because they’re morons with no life.
PTM: I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for stopping by and say hi to Burt and Ernie for me. I would like to thank Alex Cavanaugh for playing the part of Cookie Monster. I definitely don't have to tell you to stop by his blog because you probably already did.

Barney the Dinosaur

Here on Inside the Fictional Character's Studio I find out information about your favorite or least favorite character and share that information publicly. Did you know that Barney, the lovable dinosaur, has tried to quit his job of entertaining children? I, with my plethora of resources, have obtained Barney's resignation letter and the reply from management.

To whom it may concern,

I have been playing the part of Barney the dinosaur for 15 or so odd years. I have hit my breaking point. I cannot do this job anymore. The kids used to be friendly, fun and considerate but now they are mean, annoying and whiny. That damn song is stuck in my head forever. I wake up and it is the first thing thing to pop into my head. I sing it in the shower without realizing it. It is driving me crazy. I have had many thoughts of suicide over the past year. About a month ago I actually sat in my bathtub full of water and was ready to throw the toaster in but I couldn't do it. If I don't leave this job I will end up doing something regrettable. My contract is up. Consider this letter my resignation.

Sincerely
Barney the Dinosaur

To Barney,

We have received and reviewed your resignation letter. Unfortunately we cannot grant what you requested. There is a clause in your contract that allows us to extend your employment without your consent. We reserve the right to deny any resignation request or vacation time without notice. We are extending your contract with the show for another 5 years at a 10% decrease in pay and half the vacation time. If you try to escape this contract, we will take you to court and you will lose. You will then end up being fined $15,000 and serving 2-5 years in prison where you will be molested and raped by disturbed inmates. After you get out you will then have to fulfill your contract. You should of read the find print before you signed the contract. You are stuck with us.

Sincerely,
Management

A to Z Challenge: A is for Adam West

I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.

My first guest is Adam West. I know what you are thinking already: Adam West is a real actor, he isn't fictional. While you are right about that, I am not interviewing Adam West the human, I am interviewing Adam West, the fictional mayor from the tv show Family Guy. Let's get started.

PTM: Thanks you Mayor West for being here today.

Adam West: Where is the fruit salad? You promised there would be fruit salad.

PTM: There was a giant bowl in your dressing room.

Adam West: I get a dressing room?

PTM: Of course you do, every guest has the privilege of using our dressing room as their own. Where did you get dressed and ready?

Adam West: In the bathroom stall like I usually do. I'm not allowed to have a dressing room on Family Guy after what happened last time.

PTM: I know I am going to regret asking this but what happened last time?

Adam West: I tried making 10 lbs of spaghetti in the bathtub and clogged the drain.

PTM: Yup, I regret asking. Well you can use the dressing room here after the interview, just no making any pasta. You have been Mayor for awhile, do you have any future plans to run for President?

Adam West: No but I am going to run for Queen of England in the next election.

PTM: Good luck with that, I hope you win. What is your biggest fear?

Adam West: That Richard Simmons is going to be hiding in my closet when we aren't playing Hide and Seek.

PTM: I would be afraid of that too, now I am going to have nightmares.

Adam West: When do I get to spin the wheel?

PTM: Adam, this isn't a game show. You are on a talk show. We are in the middle of an interview.

Adam West: I'm ready for my nap. (He curls up into a ball on the floor and falls asleep)

PTM: I need to start pre-screening these guests. I guess we are done. Good night folks.