Monday, December 17, 2012

Party Like Slim Dyson

If you are not familiar with the blog A Beer for the Shower than this post might not make sense. You can quickly go HERE to read a little back story to this post. You didn't click the link did you? I knew you wouldn't. You lazy bastard. Now this post will just be random and it will have no context to you. I don't care anyway, do what you want.

Okay fine, here is some background: Book release; party; Slim Dyson; homeless writer; creativity.

The party takes place on the #9 Loop Bus at around 5 o'clock pm. I promise the driver a signed copy of Slim's book so he will make some unscheduled stops and drive us around for a little while. He picks up Slim and some of his homeless buddies up at the shelter. I run in and steal as many saltines as I can. We pick up some ketchup packets and assorted dipping sauces at a fast food place. As we dine, I ask the driver to take a detour through the fancy neighborhood. For some reason Shoeless Pete starts singing Happy Birthday to Slim and the rest of the passengers on the bus join in. I explain to the passengers that we are honoring Slim, many of them ask questions on why they sang Happy Birthday. I ignore their questions and ask if anyone has an ipod to put it on speaker so we can have some party music. I get 4 or 5 people playing their ipods at the same time. They fight over which song should be played and I give up on music.

 I slip the driver a $5 so he will look the other way as I rummage through the lost & found box for a nice present for Slim. He receives one red baby shoe, a pair of sunglasses with one of the lenses popped out, a DVD of Big Momma's House 2, ipod ear bud covers, the top to a thermos, and a naked barbie with her head missing. I keep the other $5 that I was given to throw this party and no one is the wiser. Slim signs some autographs even though none of the passengers knows who he is and the party is over at 5:27 pm.

If you are interested in buying Slim's book go HERE. I think it might be written by the guys at A Beer for the Shower but I am only 78.46% sure on that.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You don't let people linger at parties, do you?

A Beer for the Shower said...

What a coincidence, we're only 78.46% sure we wrote it too! The rest was outsourced to India, so hopefully the book makes sense.

Also, I love what you did for Slim, but I have a major concern. If he has Big Momma's House 2, someone's going to have to explain the plot of Big Momma's House 1 to him, otherwise he's going to be very lost.

cleemckenzie said...

Okay, so I didn't click on your links, so I'm lost. However, being partial to anyone named Slim, I did go to the buy link.

Mark said...

Well I didn't click the link but that was really because I didn't need any background. A pretty good tale there though. I wasn't aware they kept lost and found boxes on the bus, it would be fun to rummage through one and I wonder if they are basically goldmines to the homeless.

Workingdan said...

Saltines and ketchup packets...the finest meal that money can't buy!

Elsie Amata said...

I'm new here and I wrote a Slim story too and if I may say dear sir, you story just kicked my story's butt! It was fantastic! I love the quick wit. Who am I kidding? I'm glad I found this blog.

(Wow, that was a really needy comment)

Chuck said...

I just want to know who's the real Slim Shady???

Shockgrubz said...

I wish I would have voted for you, but I went with Elsie. You're a shoe in for the next contest I see you enter, though.

Blue Grumpster said...

No one ever starts singing when I enter a bus. They usually hold on to their wallets. Don't know why that is. It must be my color ;)

Blue Grumpster said...

That's right, I'm blue. said...

I recently joined their blog. Those guys are hilarious.

Hey, link up now. I just posted our TMI holiday shocker. It was a last-minute decision. Sorry for no warning.

xoRobyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl said...

I love how you wrapped the party up so quick and easy. Clever...really clever.

Chiz said...

You had me at saltines. I love saltines. I can even eat them without the ketchup.

And, what kind of wizard are you to know that I passed over the link?! said...

The last time I was just dropping by to tell you about our post. Now I came by to read this one. I'm glad I did because I see that I mistakenly posted the same comment twice. So I deleted the second comment and am leaving a new second comment. This post is really wrong and really hilarious. I think I have to vote for you.


Baby Sister said...

Yep. I'm lazy. At least I can admit it. Even without knowing anything about anything going into your post, it was still very amusing. Well done.

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