Wednesday, December 29, 2010

He Told Me To Do It

I downloaded a Chuck Norris Facts app on my phone. I should do a review of my new phone, it's the Droid 2. I will work on that another day. This post is about Chuck Norris. He might get angry that I started a post about him and didn't finish. I wanted to share some of the crazy facts on this app. I found them funny. Tell me what you think of them.

Disclaimer: Some of you might have heard them already and some of you don't give a crap about Chuck Norris. To this I say, I don't care, read them anyway.

Chuck Norris counted to infinite twice.

Chuck Norris wipes his add with duct tape.

If you look under China it says 'Made by Chuck Norris'.

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly it affects the economy.

Chuck Norris' beard can grow a mustache.

Chuck Norris beat angry birds on a rotary telephone.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his own two hands.

Chuck Norris rhymes with orange.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag the ladies, he potato sacks them.

Michael Jordan wears Air Chucks.

Chuck Norris gargles with peanut butter.

Chuck Norris planted the idea for the movie Inception.

Chuck Norris once smoked a cigarette. The cigarette got cancer.

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris receives mail on Sundays.

Chuck Norris had sex in a semi truck. Some of his semen got infused with the seat. The truck is know known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris is the only man that can give a girl a boner.

Chuck Norris can rape you during phone sex.

As a side note, I will be starting up Trivia Corner again next week. So get those thinking caps on real tight.


Innocent Delight said...

Frigin hysterical

Pat Tillett said...

Chuck Norris made me comment and said "it better be good!"

Bossy Betty said...

Chuck Norris rules.

Oilfield Trash said...

That is freaking awesome.

Andrew said...

It's good to know there's an app for that!

Baby Sister said...

I'm going to have to look for this app. Those are awesome. Gurgling peanut butter and the Waldo one are my favorites.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

I love the Chuck Norris humor.

Did you know the Black Eyed Peas used to be called just The Peas? Then they met Chuck Norris! LMBO

Cheeseboy said...

Chuck Norris makes his own condom from chunks of his underarm skin.

Just made that one up.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Those are great! I bet Norris caused the fall of the Roman Empire as well.

Chuck said...

I moved to Dallas cuz Chuck Norris was here to protect me. Don't look into the eyes of the'll blind you for life!

Hart Johnson said...

*snicker* I never cared one way or the other, but my son's best friend is a Chuck Norris fan and has a shirt: the dozen expressions of Chuck Norris... all that exact same serious face *snort* said...

He lost his virginity before his dad did. LOL. These are very funny, PTM.

Sylvia Plathypus said...

RTTFLMFAO The one about The Black Eyed Peas in the comments nearly caused a very unladylike accident on my part...xD

LOVE this!!!!

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...but he has never cried. ;)

m. said...

Oh, Chuck.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to the whole Chuck Norris humour thing, but afer reading this, I think I get it! It will be awhile though before I have the confidence to spit out my own CN zingers! Maybe I shoud get this app? - G

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