Did you know?

In English counting the letters A, B, C and D do not appear if you spell out the numbers between 1 and 99.

D does not show up until hundred is used.

A does not appear until thousand.

B doesn't show up until billion comes around.

Guess when you see the letter C in the spelling of English counting? Never!!

I bet you started counting to double check? Didn't you?

Cereal mascot rehab

Every cereal mascot has had to go to rehab for something at least once. Here are their addictions.

Froot Loops, Toucan Sam - Snorting Cocaine (obviously)

Frosted Flakes, Tony the Tiger -  Tickling strangers

Cap'n Crunch, Cap'n Crunch - Playing Candy Crush

Lucky Charms, Lucky the Leprechaun - Chronic Masturbation

Honey Smacks, Dig'em Frog - Picking his nose

Cocoa Puffs, Sonny the Cuckoo Bird - Drinking Decaf Coffee

Honey Nut Cheerios, Buzz Bee - Playing Fortnite

Trix, Trix Rabbit -  Eating Twinkies

Count Chocula, Count Chocula - Instagram

Rice Krispies, Snap, Crackle & Pop - Watching the movie Legally Blonde

Life, Mikey - Pornhub, specifically Bukkake

Super Golden Crisp, Sugar Bear - Licking envelopes

Frosted Mini-Wheats, Mini - Sharpening pencils

Raisin Bran, Sunny - Playing Candy Land

Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Crazy Squares - Shoplifting

Product slogans that didn't make it

Folgers: "The best part of waking up is a set of boobs in your face."

Mastercard: "There some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's grand theft auto. "

M&M: "Melts in your mouth, not in your pants."

De Beers: "An STD is forever."

Dunkin' Donuts: "America runs on drugs and reality TV."

State Farm: "Like a good neighbor, we won't fuck your spouse when you're not home."

Maybelline: "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she stole it on her lunch break."

The U.S. Marine Corps: "The Few. The Proud. Not the Navy.

Lay's: "Betcha can't eat a whole bag and not regret it."

Meow Mix: "Tastes so good. Cats will annoy the shit out of you for some more."

Verizon: "Can you hear me now? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?!

Gillette: "The best a man can get for a Father's Day gift."

Skittles: "Taste the Diabetes."

Red Bull: "Red Bull gives you heart palpitations."

Kay Jewelers: "Every kiss begins with an awkward moment."

Famous sayings: 1st draft

Failed versions of famous sayings.


You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him brush his teeth.

Laughter is the best medicine for Herpes.

An apple a day keeps fruit flies in the house.

Blood is thicker than water but not ice.

Don't cry over spilled milk, instead grab a straw.

The early bird catches the flu.

People that live in glass houses should put up some blinds.

The way to a man's heart is through his Playstation.

At first you don't succeed, give up cuz you suck.

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and he will smell like fish for life.

Beggars can't be choosers unless you have a gluten allergy.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you know what you are going to get, it is right there on the underside of the lid.

The grass is always greener on the other side because your neighbor can afford a landscaper.

Give me liberty or give me death. Wait, no, I changed my mind. Give me liberty.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, sexually.

Did you know?

That the Brazilian wandering spider's bite can cause painful 4-hour erections.


Is this how Viagra was invented?

Would You Rather?

Chew a piece of gum you found under a random table or suck on the big toe of a stranger?


Wipe your butt with a pine cone or blow your nose with sandpaper?


Know how you are going to die or your spouse/significant other but you can't let them?


Eat 10 banana peels or 10 orange peels?

Did you know?

During the Civil war more people died of illness and disease than they did during battle. Dysentery and diarrhea ran rampant through the soldiers. It was so bad that there was an honor code amongst soldiers that you did not shoot a man if he was pooping.

That would be a pretty shitty way to die.