Monday, April 6, 2020

Famous sayings: 1st draft


Failed versions of famous sayings.


You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him brush his teeth.

Laughter is the best medicine for Herpes.

An apple a day keeps fruit flies in the house.

Blood is thicker than water but not ice.

Don't cry over spilled milk, instead grab a straw.

The early bird catches the flu.

People that live in glass houses should put up some blinds.

The way to a man's heart is through his Playstation.

At first you don't succeed, give up cuz you suck.

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and he will smell like fish for life.

Beggars can't be choosers unless you have a gluten allergy.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you know what you are going to get, it is right there on the underside of the lid.

The grass is always greener on the other side because your neighbor can afford a landscaper.

Give me liberty or give me death. Wait, no, I changed my mind. Give me liberty.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, sexually.


15 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I can see the one about success as a real slogan.
And hopefully those in glass houses are not doing onto others in those houses...

L. Diane Wolfe said...

And a banana a day doubles those fruit flies.

Birgit said...

The people living in glass houses love to be on display. Oh now these are funny especially the heroes one. I guess I’m a sick puppy...not the covid19 kind

Janie Junebug said...

I like those. I gave you five stars.

Love,
Janie

Liz A. said...

I think I like those better.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Ha. He'll smell like a fish for life. Good one. It's a good thing I can't teach fishing.
Cheers.

sheneanna said...

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DEZMOND said...

The early bird yawns all day.

Adam said...

Wise proverbs.

Ananka said...

All very funny, favourite is the gluten one - made me laugh my socks off :-D

Joanne said...

very funny, clever, and thought provoking. I've been trying to think of something to contribute -
how about "A bird in hand is worth two in a bush, unless that's a clump of poison ivy" ??

I tried.

Darla M Sands said...

These are awesome. Looking at my resting pet, I came up with one I hope you enjoy.

Let sleeping cats lie, lest you lose an eye.

ROBERT ALEXANDER said...

I am really happy that i have been cured from (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of Dr OSAGIE , i have been suffering from this disease for the past 3 years and 4 mouth without solution until i came across the email of this doctor who have cure so many people with his herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follow his instructions for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 1 week and 5days which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this doctor who is ready to help anytime any day. To all the readers and viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this doctor if you really have one and see if he will not actually help you. i am not a stupid woman that i will come out to the public and start saying what someone have not done for me and i know that there are some people out there who are really suffering and hurting their family just because of these diseases so you can to mail him on drosagiesolutiontemple@gmail.com OR
DROSAGIESOULTIONTEMPLE@YAHOO.COM or WHATSAPP +2347030465649 he also told me that he has cure for these diseases listed below .
HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS.
.DIABETES .
CANCER
.HEPATITIS
.HIV/AIDS
. STD CURE
Thank you for your time

ROBERT ALEXANDER said...

I am really happy that i have been cured from (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of Dr OSAGIE , i have been suffering from this disease for the past 3 years and 4 mouth without solution until i came across the email of this doctor who have cure so many people with his herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follow his instructions for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 1 week and 5days which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this doctor who is ready to help anytime any day. To all the readers and viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this doctor if you really have one and see if he will not actually help you. i am not a stupid woman that i will come out to the public and start saying what someone have not done for me and i know that there are some people out there who are really suffering and hurting their family just because of these diseases so you can to mail him on drosagiesolutiontemple@gmail.com OR
DROSAGIESOULTIONTEMPLE@YAHOO.COM or WHATSAPP +2347030465649 he also told me that he has cure for these diseases listed below .
HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS.
.DIABETES .
CANCER
.HEPATITIS
.HIV/AIDS
. STD CURE
Thank you for your time

faith gilmore said...

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