More Failed Slogans

Product slogans that didn't last that long. You probably don't even remember seeing them.

Heinz - "For the record, it's fucking pronounced KETCHUP not Catsup"

Netflix - "Going to the movies sucks, watch one at home"

Craftsman - "Don't let a woman touch these tools"

Hanes - "If only walking around in your underwear in public was acceptable"

Pizza Hut - "Made with 70% imitation cheese"

Maybelline - "If you are already ugly, our products won't help you"

Dannon - "We put the fruit on the bottom because we are lazy just like you"

Apple - "We could promote a cardboard phone and you would buy it"

Toyota - "Eli Manning is our sponsor because Peyton and Archie declined our offers"

Colgate - "For whiter teeth, go to the dentist"

Simple & Fun Question Monday

Q: What is your biggest goal in life?

Stay Tuned

I finally got my Internet installed this week. Been busy moving in and stuff. 'Just the Cheese' will be back to it's regularly scheduled program next week. Be careful if you plan to be on the edge of your seat.

They Can Suck It

Nicole and I just moved this past weekend. Yay for us!! Unfortunately the cable company screwed me over with my installation date and I won't have internet access until next week. I had it scheduled for yesterday and somebody dropped the ball and entered the wrong date. Sons of bitches. I ordered them to not charge me for installation, we will see how that goes when I get the bill. I am writing this post from the library. I didn't have a library card so I flashed the clerk and she let me use the computer for an hour. What I am trying to say is no posts this week nor will I be able to read your blogs that I love so much. I will miss you all.

P.S. All the neighbors have their internet password protected if that is what you were thinking. I already tried that.

Celebrity Tombstones

Haven't you always wanted to know what current living celebrities would put on their tombstones? Well I interviewed a whole bunch of them recently and most of them told me what they were going to write.


Tom Cruise - "I wasn't gay, seriously"

Richard Dreyfuss - "I never watched Jaws"

Kirk Cameron - "That born again Christian crap worked like a charm"

Dennis Rodman - "Was I buried in a dress?"

Tony Danza - "I'm the boss, bitch"

Ron Howard - "I deeply apologize for putting my ugly brother in my movies"

Bob Barker - "Fuck you, Drew Carey"

Bill Clinton - "Fat chicks need lovin' too"

Snooki - "I knew I would get skin cancer from all that tanning"

Oprah Winfrey - "I still think Tom Cruise is gay"

Jeff Bridges - "Dude"

Tara Reid - "That fourth boob job was a bad idea"

Conan O'brien - "Jay Leno can suck it"

Matt Leblanc - "Stop calling me Joey"

Brad Pitt - "I had sex with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie"

Simple & Fun Question Monday

What is the difference between mocha flavored coffee and mocha flavored chocolate? I don't know the answer to this one, you have to give me your opinion.

Medical Jargon

New definitions used in medical reports

Negative patient care outcome ............ the patient died

Mental activity at the margins ......... insanity

Therapeutic misadventure ................ medical malpractice

Hematophagous arthropod vectors ............................. fleas

Spontaneous bowel contraction..................................... shit your pants

Engorged cellular depositing...................................... fat ass

Misfiring synaptic responses....................................... stupid

Underdeveloped phallic response................................ can't get an erection

Aggravated bovine ejection .............. being bucked off of a bull