Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Zombie


I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.




PTM: I want to thank you for being here today and I also want to apologize for the restraints. I hope you understand. You are our guest but you simply can't be trusted.
Zombie: I totally understand. My first instinct when I saw you was to bite into your leg.

PTM: Then I am really glad we strapped you down. For your cooperation and understanding there are a few chickens, a deer and a koala bear in your dressing room.
Zombie: Ooooh, a koala bear. I've never had one of those. How fancy!


PTM: You star as one the zombies on the AMC series The Walking Dead. That must be exciting.
Zombie: I am one of the few real zombies on the show. Most of the zombies are actual actors. There isn't much work for a real zombie. I'm lucky to have gotten the job.


PTM: I was under the impression and I'm sure everyone else was too that zombies couldn't talk.
Zombie: That's what the producers and directors want you to think. For one, zombies are scarier when they don't talk. Second, when they do speak they sound as intelligent as Snooki or Paris Hilton.


PTM: That makes sense. A question I have always wondered: Do zombies poop?
Zombie: Very infrequent. My metabolism is extremely slow so I take a shit maybe once a month.


PTM: If you could eat any celebrity, who and why?
Zombie: John Goodman. Not only would it be a filling meal but I also loved the sitcom Roseanne and the film The Big Lebowski.


PTM: I thought you would of picked someone that you hated. I've always wondered is eating another dude kind of gay?
Zombie: At first it's weird but you get used to it. I save the genital and rectum for last.


PTM: I hope I can get that image out of my head. I just stop thinking about Rosie O'donnell eating twinkies.
Zombie: Do you think a zombie will ever be elected President?


PTM: It would be the shortest presidency. Some gun nut would assassinate that zombie leader real quick like.
Zombie: What if
gunshot echoes through studio and the zombie's head explodes


PTM: Oh shit!! I said shoot him in he gets out of his restraints!!
Terry (the producer): Sorry, he was creeping me out.

PTM: Dammit!! He was my in to get to be an extra on The Walking Dead. No I will never accomplish my dream. Man, the cleaning guy is going to be so pissed tonight.










12 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Not to mention that zombie brains stain.
Now koala bear is all yours. You can have koala chips and koala dip.

Birgit said...

hmm leaving the genitals and rectum last...maybe that was good he was blown away. Vim works great to clean up messes by the way

Tony Van Helsing said...

I'd eat Beyonce. She's attractive but at the same time annoying.

Al Diaz said...

How unlucky. You'll have to get another zombie to help you achieve your dream.

Pat Tillett said...

I had no idea that Zombies enjoyed The Big Lebowski! Maybe they aren't so bad after all...

Sandy said...

Nice blood there Mr. Zombie. Sooooo, what's after a-z for you?

From A-Z moving onto May

Gina Gao said...

Really nice post! I never really liked zombies, but still.

www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Woohoo! Congratulations. You finished. Congratulations. You did a nice, weird, silly job.

xoRobyn

Chuck said...

And I thought they only ate brains!!! Genitals and rectum last? Zombie dessert I guess.

The Blue Grumpster said...

I once met a vegetarian zombie. He had issues.

Sheena-kay Graham said...

I was just starting to like that zombie. Awesome post today and congrats on finishing the challenge.

Baby Sister said...

Poor cleaning guy, he's had a lot of cleaning to do lately.

Zombies are disgusting...I don't understand the fascination behind them...