Thursday, April 18, 2013

Powdered Toast Man



I can't believe I am actually participating in this challenge. I hope I can make it all the way through. I'm going to need lots of Red Bull. My theme for this challenge is fictional characters including but not limited to cartoons, tv shows, video games, movies, books, etc. Now let's have some fun.

I, PTM, have commandeered the show Inside the Actor's Studio hosted by James Lipton for the A to Z challenge. James is safely being held prisoner until May. He will get plenty of food and water, no need to call the cops. For the month of April, I am renaming his show to Inside the Fictional Character's Studio.




PTM: You are probably thinking "is he going to interview himself? He has finally gone crazy." No, I haven't gone that crazy yet. Today I am going to share my pros and cons list about myself. And who better to do that than me? Before I start I just want to point out how sexy I look in that picture. I know what you are thinking ladies and the answer is yes.


Pros

I have a killer physique

I have a great sense of humor

I know the Muffin Man

My penis has it's own blog

LL Cool J asks me for advice on the ladies

I can fart cinnamon sugar on command

My great-great grandfather knew the guy that invented ketchup

With just a phone call I have the ability to take out Justin Bieber or Snooki if need be

I am still close friends with Ren & Stimpy

I am fertile, my wife is pregnant

Cons

I'm married, sorry ladies

My head attracts a lot of hungry birds

I am known to start fights with random homeless people at soup kitchens

I have never seen Game of Thrones

I know longer receive royalty checks for being on Ren & Stimpy

I was drunk on election day in 2004 and voted for Bush

I am allergic to small boobs

I get teased when people don't recognize me

I have recurring zombie nightmares

I am addicted to sniffing jelly beans









9 comments:

Birgit said...

Your wife married you because you smelled so much like cinnamon right? BTW my dog loves Toast so better not come near or the dog will lick his chops. I heard Snooki was at a soup kitchen-can you run(like the he-toast you are) over there and do your thing?

Cperz said...

Impressive that LL Cool J asks you for advice on the ladies. What exactly does he need to know? His wife might have some answers.

When you say "take out" Bieber and/or Snooki. What do you mean? I sincerely hope you don't mean like on a date. No one should be that desperate. I am assuming that is not the context you meant it.

Mark said...

Dude if you have the power to make that call then you need to make it. Not making it is just another con on the list. Although some of those aren't really negatives I think.

A Beer for the Shower said...

And why have you not made this call yet? Are you enjoying watching us all suffer?

Oh, and congratulations on being fertile!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Make the call! Make the call!!

Sheena-kay Graham said...

What about hungry pigeons? That must be a con.

Andrea said...

Congrats on that bun in the oven!!

Jay Noel said...

This is utterly fantastic!

And you were on Ren & Stimpy???

Baby Sister said...

Could you by chance make that phone call please?

I didn't know you guys were going to have a baby. Congrats!!