Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Conclusion of Alan & Jack Sparrow

A month ago I did a post on what would happen if Alan from The Hangover crossed paths with Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. I ended it with 'to be continued'. If you didn't read that post you should probably do so before reading this one. Go HERE before you continue on.

So the story left off with Alan being throw overboard. Let's see what happens next.

Alan: Wow that looks like real water and those look like real sharks
Jack: You do realize we are out in the middle of the ocean?
Alan: You mean we aren't in some sort of pirate play?
Jack: Are you really this dumb?
Alan: Ok, I surrender, just don't throw me overboard. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't have my floaties.
Jack: Put him down and untie him.
Alan: Do you have any lotion? Your crew gave me some rope burns.
Jack: What kind of man are you? 
Alan: I'm very sensitive. My dad says that I was breast fed for too long.
Jack: I still don't understand how you got aboard The Black Pearl.
Alan: Did Phil and Stu put you up to this? Classic Phil.
Jack: I don't know who this Phil and Stu you keep talking about are.
Alan: So you're going to play it that way are you? They are probably on here somewhere. I'll find them. 
Jack: You will do no such thing. You will tell me what the hell is going on or I will re-consider throwing you overboard!!
Alan: So you don't know where Phil is?
Jack: If you mention the name Phil one more time I will cut off your balls with my sword.
Alan: You have a sword? Cool, can I play with it?
Jack: Did you hear what I said? I am going to castrate you.
Alan: Hey man, where is your parrot? Aren't pirates suppose to have parrots?
Jack: Shut up!! Shut up!! Shut up!! You have to be the most annoying idiot that I have ever met. I can't take another second of you. Jack jumps overboard
Alan turns around to face the rest of the crew
Alan: Have any of you seen Phil?
The rest of the crew jump overboard
Alan: (To himself) I must be out of range. I'm not getting a signal on my pager.
The End


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'd jump too.

Anonymous said...

Went back to the original link, read and then ran back (or the equivalent of running on the internet) to see what happened. Hilarity. I'm not going to lie...I love Alan from those movies (and Jack drives me a bit batty in any Pirates movie but the first) but I'd freaking jump too.

When he asked about his pager I almost died laughing.

Anonymous said...

Classic! The pager was a very nice touch.

Hart Johnson said...

Alan seems like a big baby, so I volunteer myself to be Captain Jack's prisoner in his place.

TS Hendrik said...

I like how much crazier Alan contrasts against Jack. he kind of makes me think of an animaniac.

NightlySun said...

Wonderful! Fantastic! :D

Ms. A said...

Hate to admit, but I'm not too familiar with Jack or Alan.

dirtycowgirl said...

Ms A kinda said what I was going to say.

I'll come back later when you write a post I understand.

Toyin O. said...

That was really good:)

Shockgrubz said...

Good bit of fan fiction there! I wish Alan would have had his lightsaber.

Unknown said...

Please don't hate me but I've not seen either of these. Now I could have just not left a comment but my honesty should as least get me forgiven!!! haha.

Chuck said...

No signal on my pager...ha ha ha ha, a classic!

LoneIslander said...

Pretty cool bro

M Pax said...

lol You really nailed the characters. Great job.

Baby Sister said...

I'm with Jack.

Kenneth Tso said...

Lol @ the pager

Pat Tillett said...

Really good! Jack Sparrow is a demi-god...