Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Soda: Cola vs. Root Beer

You would expect Coca Cola versus Pepsi Cola but that is too mainstream and here at 'Just the Cheese' I like to do things a little differently.

Root Beer

Pros

* Have you heard of the Root Beer Float? enough said

* Has the word 'beer' in it's name

* Loves kittens

* Married to a supermodel

* Tastes like a birch tree

* Recycles himself all the time

* Has won 4 Olympic gold medals

Cons

* Rots your teeth

* Twice has stolen money from church collection plate

* Leaves you wanting more

* Pees in public swimming pools

* Doesn't come in cherry or lime flavors

* Stains your clothes

* Accused of owning child pornography

Cola

Pros

* Is one of Jack Daniels closest friends

* Good sugar high

* Has a PhD in Micro Paleontology

* Tastes great with pizza

* Volunteers at the local soup kitchen

* Used to have cocaine as an ingredient

* Can speak 7 languages including Braille

Cons

* Gave Wilfred Brimley Diabetes

* Rots your teeth

* Keeps grandma up past her bedtime

* Use to have cocaine as an ingredient

* Too carbonated

* Once killed a homeless pirate over a sandwich

* Had an affair with Root Beer's wife

* Against gay marriage

In general I prefer root beer over cola. Who is the winner from the pros and cons list? You be the judge.

3 comments:

Lisa Marie said...

hahahaha! "Cola once killed a pirate over a sandwhich."
I do think it is interesting that it once contained cocaine and was used as a treatment for headaches rather than an everyday beverage. Of course back then doctors prescribed heroine, cigarettes and even masturbation as treatments!

TS Hendrik said...

"Accused" of having child pornography, not proven. Can't hang root beer, for some smear campaign cola threw its way.

Love the comparison. I say though for me it depends on the brand. If we're talking Barq's, then root beer all the way.

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Cola is the new Chuck Norris!

I want to see Grape vs. Orange vs. Strawberry soda next!