Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Not about lesbian mud wrestling.....or is it?

Well I had a hell of a weekend. Nicole has been wanting to go to the drive-in up in Dutchess County so we went on Friday. I hadn't been to a drive-in in years and it is a different experience. 500 Days of Summer and The Final Destination were playing, I had no real interest in seeing either one but it's only $7 for both of them. 500 Days of Summer was a romantic comedy and was pretty good but The Final Destination was a crapfest, cool death scenes but not a good movie.

Did you know that penguins only live in the southern hemisphere and polar bears only live in the northern hemisphere? I learned that tidbit at the Maritime Aquarium in Norwalk on Saturday. I also learned that not all penguins need to be in cold weather, there are African penguins too which is what I went to see at the aquarium. The exhibit was called "penguins on the loose" but it should of been called "penguin on the loose," they only had one waddling around. Their reason for this was that they don't force the penguins, they want them to be comfortable and they also don't teach them any tricks.....fiddlesticks!! His name was Stump and was very cute, check him out in a video: penguins.

There were 9 other penguins in a habitat outside that were pretty cool. I think Wayne Newton has a pet penguin and has a special refrigerated room for it. That would be awesome to have a pet penguin, I'm trying to save enough money to get a giraffe. Not sure how I'm going to pull that one off, the shipping cost from Africa is going to be outrageous.

On Sunday I spent the whole day in Brooklyn at Nicole's family reunion/BBQ. Man, those Latinos really know how to have some fun. I don't know what the joke was but everybody was laughing the whole day. I believe I was one of 3 white guys at this shindig, now I know what it feels like to be a minority. There was tons of food at the bbq, no way I was going hungry. This was no backyard bbq at your grandmas with just hamburgers and hot dogs. There was seafood salad, shrimp kabobs, shish kabobs, macaroni salad, potato salad, seafood rice and grilled corn on the cob which is the best corn I have ever eaten. It seems pretty simple to make, you leave it in the husk, soak it with water and grill it up to perfection.

I organized a touch football game against the family next to us. I think organized is the wrong word, I got bored so i was punting the football up to myself and people just wandered over asking to have a catch and it eventually turned into a game. First play I ended up on the asphalt walkway, don't worry I only got a small cut, I stayed in the game. Now I work out, exercise and stuff but I am very sore all over and I have muscles that hurt that I didn't even know that I had. I don't even understand why I'm so sore, we weren't playing tackle football. Time to get a real massage.

After we left the park we hung out at ummm... somebody's house, some relative I think of Nicole's. The night consisted of all of us sitting in a big circle on the patio looking at dirty pics and jokes on her uncles' cell phones. I didn't know her family was so dirty, I shared a few pics I had but I usually delete texts I get, I never think to save them for future reference. Anyway I got some good jokes to post in the next week. Here is a taste: A man dyes his chest hair grey so him and his wife can collect social security. His wife says, "why don't you go show them your dick so we can collect disability!"

Finally Monday I went and hung out with my buddy Dustin at his grandparents house in Amenia......redneck city. They were having a bbq, the typical kind with burgers and hot dogs and strippers.....never mind about the strippers, they didn't show. Now it wouldn't be a redneck bbq without some horseshoes. I have to admit I do like playing horseshoes, I'm surprised it's not a sport, I mean bowling is and that's for lazy people. Nothing really excited happened except for Dustin's great grandfather hitting on his lady friend, he is a very dirty old man. Talking about getting hookers in Japan back during the war for a pack of cigarettes. A carton cost 80 cents back in the day, that could buy you a lot of ladies.
I used the bathroom a few times and noticed that they were using a cement mixing tub as a kitty litter box, now that's a redneck invention. How big are the fucking cats in that house? There must be small lions living there.

I haven't done that much stuff over the weekend in awhile. I am tired and sore but it was a lot of fun. I need to start taking pics of my adventures. My camera sucks on my phone though....time to get a new phone. Any suggestions???

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