Battle of Sesame Street: Final Round

Ernie was Cookie Monster's bitch in that last round. He smacked Ernie around like he was a red-headed stepchild. I thought it would be a closer match but Ernie didn't bring anything to the ring. Now that the semi0finals are out of the way, it is time for the big kahuna. The final round of the Sesame Street battle in on. I'm predicting this one is going to be a slobber knocker. So sit back, relax and grab a brew.

The Count

vs

Cookie Monster

Bio:

Favorite Movie: You probably think it's Dracula but it's actually Bambi

Favorite Actor/Actress: Gary Busey

Favorite Food: Pussy

Biggest Fear: Impotence

Favorite Quote: I did not have sexual relations with that woman

Celebrity Crush: Michelle Obama

Mcdonald's, Wendy's or Burger King: Taco Bell

Some  Tough Questions:

What did you want to be when you were a kid? Phlebotomist

One thing you would change about yourself? Smaller testicles

Would you have sex with Hilary Clinton for $100,000? I'd rather sleep with Bill

How do you feel about turkey bacon? Why isn't there chicken bacon?

What would be your death bed confession? My fangs aren't real

 

Bio:

Favorite Movie: Cool Runnings

Favorite Actor/Actress: Cher

Favorite Food: Chocolate Pizza

Biggest Fear: Being allergic to cookie dough

Favorite Quote: It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again

Celebrity Crush: Willy Wonka

Mcdonald's, Wendy's or Burger King: I'm unsure of the question so I will say the Burger King beats up Wendy and Ronald Mcdonald

Some  Tough Questions:

What did you want to be when you were a kid? Lion Tamer

One thing you would change about yourself? Less fur in my ass

Would you have sex with Hilary Clinton for $100,000? I'd do it for $500

How do you feel about turkey bacon? Goes great with pudding

What would be your death bed confession? I did some gay porn when I was addicted to coke

Now comes the tough decision on who to vote for. I would tell you who I would vote for but it is against the by-laws and would result in castration. Polls will close on Friday at 11:59 PM, get in your vote by then. Next week I will announce the winner.