Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Battle of Sesame Street: Round 4

Big Bird didn't have a chance in the last round versus Cookie Monster. By the end of the battle there were yellow feathers everywhere. I hope those things grow back. Congrats to Cookie Monster for moving on to the next set of rounds. This is the last of the first round matches. Let's see who is duking it out today.



Bert
vs
Ernie



While Bert and Ernie were getting ready for the battle I got a hold of their personal diaries. I am going to randomly share some entries with you for your entertainment. Shhh, don't tell them I shared their diaries.

Ernie's Diary

2/24/11 - I had a dream about Bert again. We were living in the country with 3 kids, 2 dogs and running our own pudding business. He looked so handsome. The kiss felt so real this time.

3/16/11 - It was so sad. I had a dream that Rubber Duckie drowned in the tub. We were at his funeral. All the Sesame Street characters were there except for Big Bird, they didn't get along for some reason. Alf, Optimus Prime and Rainbow Brite also came to pay their respects. 

4/12/11 - I enjoy watching Bert sleep. I hope he doesn't find out that I have been cupping his balls at night.

4/25/11 - Bert caught me today using his toothbrush. I use it sometimes just so I can taste his saliva. I played if off today like I picked up the wrong one.

6/02/11 - I should kill Big Bird. No one likes that douche anyway. Why doesn't he like Rubber Duckie? What an asshole. 

Bert's Diary

3/15/11 - Ernie is starting to act really creepy lately. He keeps leering at me with a weird look on his face. I'm thinking about moving out.

4/20/11 - I'm missing like three pairs of my underwear. I think Ernie might be taking them but I can't prove it.

5/17/11 - I had a really strange dream that Ernie was watching me in my sleep and cupping my balls. At least I think it was a dream.

6/09/11 - If I hear that rubber duckie song again I am going to stick a broom handle up Ernie's ass.

6/19/11 -  I will never masturbate with baby oil again. I'm really raw down there now. I need to buy some lotion.


After laughing and peeing your pants, don't forget to vote for either Bert or Ernie. Polls will close on Friday at 11:59 pm and the next set of rounds will begin next week.

























18 comments:

Bouncin' Barb said...

Hi, came by from your guest post at Mynx's place. That was freakin' hilarious. Read this one post here and hit follow! Love it. Can't wait to read more. Bouncin' Barb

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Usually in a couple, it's the dominant of the two that wins in fights.

I picture Bert as the top and Ernie as the bottom. E is Bert's bitch, and so it goes in this battle.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I vote for Ernie. I like his 4/12 entry. I always thought Bert was too uptight. This proves it.
xoRobyn

Joshua said...

I'm going with Ernie. He just seems scrappy, with a screw loose, which makes him dangerous.

Tricia said...

I SO needed that laugh this morning. Grazie, my friend.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Can I vote for the rubber duck? No? Okay, Ernie then.

Reputation@Stake said...

I've never said this to anyone before (so as not to ruin his plans), but I think that Ernie has been secretly plotting Bert's murder all these years. He's been slowly gaining the support of every monster living on Sesame Street, and hatching an elaborate plan. I believe the time has now come for Ernie to act, and therefore we will definitely see him take Bert down!

Stace said...

This was a tough one but I have to vote for Ernie because Bert is mean.

Tony Van Helsing said...

The broom handle up the arse would be a mistake as I think Ernie would enjoy it.

Cheeseboy said...

Bert is a douche. Ernie all the way. Hope I didn't just cause a rife in their relationship.

ERNIE!

Baby Sister said...

Definitely Ernie. Most definitely.

The Empress said...

Good on Ernie for going after what he wants but I think I will have to go with Bert. Ernie is sounding a bit stalkerish, especially with the underwear nabbing.

Kal said...

Bert would eat Ernie's lunch...literally. Then he would kick his rubber duck loving ass. Ernie is not tough enough to fight his way to the top. Bert however is a souless maniac.

Marlene said...

Ernie. Bert is scary looking. I don't care for his unibrow.

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

I would like to vote for Bert because we all know he is tougher then Ernie but I do not like Bert he acts like he has a broom stuck up his arse....
So my vote goes to Ernie who is so cute and weird yes I know I said weird but come on he is weird but there is nothing wrong wit being weird, weird can be good....although he is weird in the serial killer way so maybe that is not good........

Oilfield Trash said...

Ernie all the fucking way.

Mynx said...

I vote Ernie. Something about his cute fuzzy hair that just makes me melt. Plus we used to have a "sing and snore" Ernie doll when my kids were little.

Thanks Toastman for guesting on my blog. It was a heap of fun.


Dribble...


Secret Pleasures

Pat Tillett said...

I'm thinking Ernie! So, Ernie then...