The battle between Bert and Ernie lasted for hours. Neither one wanted to throw in the towel. Ernie’s rubber duckie tried to distract Bert but I put a stop to that. There will be no cheating in my ring. The ultimate victor was Ernie. He moves on to the next set of rounds. We have two rounds left before the final match. Battling today, we have….
Oscar the grouch
PTM: I want the combatants to express how they feel about each other before they duke it out. I want you both to say three things you like and three things you dislike about your opponent. Can be anything you want. Count, you go first.
The Count: I will say what I like about Oscar first. I like that he is a ladies man and can get all the tail he wants. I like that he has a don’t-give-a-shit kind of attitude. I like that he always has ketchup when I run out.
Oscar: Thanks Count. Before you tell me what you don’t like about me, I want to say what I like about you. I like that The Count can rock the cape; I know I couldn’t pull off wearing a cape. I like that he is close to his grandmother. I like that he can score Viagra like nobody’s business.
The Count: Thanks Oscar. Now, to tell you why you are a douche. You are a complete slob and you should clean around your garbage can once in awhile. You won’t stop hitting on my grandma; she is 87 for Pete’s sake!! You don’t support your 3 illegitimate kids. Stop knocking up hoes and they won’t come after you for child support.
Oscar: For the record, your grandma is hot for 87. I hate that you are constantly telling people that you want to suck their blood. We get it, you’re a vampire. Now shut the fuck up about it. You need to brush your teeth man; you have blood stains all over them. Stop inviting me to play Mafia Wars and Farmville, it is getting annoying.
The Count: You know how hard it is to get rid of blood stains?
PTM: I love the brutal truth. Thanks for sharing fellas.
It’s that time again. Cast your vote for Oscar or The Count. If you don’t then Snuffleupagus will find you and sit on you. Polls close on Friday at 11:59 PM. We will have the next battle on Monday.