Monday, July 11, 2011

Battle of Sesame Street: Semi Finals Round One

The battle between Bert and Ernie lasted for hours. Neither one wanted to throw in the towel. Ernie’s rubber duckie tried to distract Bert but I put a stop to that. There will be no cheating in my ring. The ultimate victor was Ernie. He moves on to the next set of rounds. We have two rounds left before the final match. Battling today, we have….




The Count
vs
Oscar the grouch



PTM: I want the combatants to express how they feel about each other before they duke it out. I want you both to say three things you like and three things you dislike about your opponent. Can be anything you want. Count, you go first.

The Count: I will say what I like about Oscar first. I like that he is a ladies man and can get all the tail he wants. I like that he has a don’t-give-a-shit kind of attitude. I like that he always has ketchup when I run out.

Oscar: Thanks Count. Before you tell me what you don’t like about me, I want to say what I like about you. I like that The Count can rock the cape; I know I couldn’t pull off wearing a cape. I like that he is close to his grandmother. I like that he can score Viagra like nobody’s business.

The Count: Thanks Oscar. Now, to tell you why you are a douche. You are a complete slob and you should clean around your garbage can once in awhile. You won’t stop hitting on my grandma; she is 87 for Pete’s sake!! You don’t support your 3 illegitimate kids. Stop knocking up hoes and they won’t come after you for child support.

Oscar: For the record, your grandma is hot for 87.  I hate that you are constantly telling people that you want to suck their blood. We get it, you’re a vampire. Now shut the fuck up about it. You need to brush your teeth man; you have blood stains all over them. Stop inviting me to play Mafia Wars and Farmville, it is getting annoying.

The Count: You know how hard it is to get rid of blood stains?

PTM: I love the brutal truth. Thanks for sharing fellas.

It’s that time again. Cast your vote for Oscar or The Count. If you don’t then Snuffleupagus will find you and sit on you.  Polls close on Friday at 11:59 PM. We will have the next battle on Monday.

14 comments:

The Empress said...

I was totally leaning towards voting for the Count until Oscar mentioned that he doesn't brush his teeth and plays Farmville.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

I'm voting for the count, just because he's a sadistic lil pup. He will kick your ass one time! Two! Two times! (ah ah ah...) Three!

Hart Johnson said...

I am tempted by Oscars slovenly ways--a kindred spirit anallat... but Oscar has a mean streak. The Count, for all his threats to drink blood, is always charming about it. My vote goes to the Count.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

This one is tough. Think I'm voting for the Count as well.

Oilfield Trash said...

This is a very tough one as I like both, but I have to vote for the pimp. Yes I said it, The Count is a pimp (well only pimps and super heroes wear capes) and my vote goes to him.

Baby Sister said...

Dang...I'm going to have to go for the Count as well. Ah ah ah!!

Stace said...

I vote for the count!!

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

I have to be the odd one out here...voting for Oscar. He may be a douche, but he knows it, and he owns it.

Joshua said...

The Count because he won't have to fight, just put a glamour on Oscar and be done with it.

Bouncin' Barb said...

Oscar was a favorite when my son (30) was a kid and also when his daughters were watching it. So I gotta go with Oscar. Who doesn't love a green monster who lives in a garbage can?

Tony Van Helsing said...

I'm backing the Count, if only for his evil laugh.

Ms. A said...

I think you know who gets my vote! In case you don't... OSCAR!

Reputation@Stake said...

What better protection is there than armor that covers you on every side, and disguises itself as a trashcan? Plus, when the announcer says, "The fight will begin on the count of three..." the Count will get so distracted that Oscar will have time to land multiple blows right off the bat (no pun intended ... okay, a little pun intended).

So just from a fighting standpoint. Oscar would dominate, which pleases me, because he's also my favorite. Go Grouch!

Pat Tillett said...

I'm gonna go with Oscar. The color, the cute face and the aroma do it for me...