Thursday, February 25, 2010

Weird Laws: Part Uno

Here is the first installment of "Weird Laws of the U.S." We will start at the beginning of the alphabet and work our way through. I hope you enjoy the odd and zany laws.

ALABAMA


In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. Beating your wife with a large stick would be crazy. They only want you to bruise your wife not break any bones.

It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday. God frowns upon games played with square tiles.

It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. God also has a poor sense of humor. What if your real mustache causes laughter, do you have to shave it off? And what if you are playing Jesus in a play?

Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. Good thing I was only peppering the tracks, I'd be in big trouble.

ALASKA


In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. Some of those moose are in Alcoholics Anonymous. You don't want to ruin their sobriety streak.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping bears for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
How else am I going to get that picture with Yogi and Boo Boo? It's bad enough the ranger is always hassling me about it.

ARIZONA


In Tuscon, it is illegal for women to wear pants. What could be the reasoning behind this one? Make it easier to have all the babies?

In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American. I would think it would be hard to play cards with anyone in the street regardless of their ethnicity or nationality. Maybe the Native American needs to be incorporated as a casino first.

In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse. I wonder how their parking lots are set up?

In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders. One of them finally makes sense! Suspenders should be illegal, they are hideous and for some reason only out-of-shape nerds wear them.

ARKANSAS

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. I think someone from Alabama helped them out with this law. You better make that beating a good one, you have to wait until next month if you're not satisfied. Can I beat my wife on the 31st of January and then again the next day on February 1st?

Schoolteachers who bob their hair may forfeit thier pay raises. The librarian look is out, get with the new style.

Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. "Dude I wasn't flirting, I was just trying to pick up this hooker."

4 comments:

Lisa Marie said...

Lots of wife beatin' laws... I am glad there are no laws restricting how I choose to beat my husband

TS Hendrik said...

Awesome. I love reading weird laws. I have to wonder about that playing cards with a native American, as I'm a quarter Native, does that mean I couldn't play solitaire?

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

So in Tucson, women aren't allowed to wear pants, but I can get arrested for running around and telling women to take their pants off....