Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I asked a bunch of celebrities what they wanted to finally do in 2013. Here are their answers.
Lindsay Lohan - "I want to finally get my driver's license."
Tom Cruise - "I want to ask out that cute waiter at Applebees."
Arnold Schwarzenegger - "I want to pick things up and put them down."
Charlie Sheen - "I need to be more of an asshole."
Wilfred Brimley - "To tell the truth and reveal that I don't have the Diabeetus."
Rachel Ray - "Stop stealing recipes from Guy Fieri."
Trix Rabbit - "Stop chasing kids around and just buy a box of Trix at the grocery store."
Bob Barker - "Hire that hitman to kill Drew Carey."
Lorenzo - "Travel back in time and get Snooki an abortion."
Eddie Murphy - "Learn how to be funny again."
Bill Clinton - "Talk to Bob Barker about putting a hit on Hilary."
Justin Bieber - "To wear that dress in public and finally come out of the closet."
Matthew McConaughey - "Make a movie people want to watch."
Oprah Winfrey - "Lay around in my bathrobe everyday, I'm Oprah rich, bitch."
Posted by Powdered Toast Man at 7:30 AM