Wednesday, July 20, 2011

'Are you smarter than The Situation?'

Welcome to ‘Are you smarter than The Situation?’ The game show that determines if you are smarter than The Situation from the Jersey Shore. Our contestant today is Sandy the Squirrel from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants.

PTM: The game is simple; I will ask both of you the same questions and you will write down your answers. You will read off your answers when you are prompted to. The questions range from all different categories. Correct answers will get you 10 pts and incorrect answers will result in a loss of 5 points. Let’s get started.

PTM: The first question is: How many stars are on the American Flag?
The Situation: That's an easy one. There is one star for each state we have so there are 53 stars.
Sandy: There’s only one star I care about and that’s the one on the Texas flag. I mean, Texas is its own country after all.

PTM: Who discovered electricity?
The Situation: I know it's Ben something ...... I got it, Ben Stein.
Sandy: Well me of course. Everyone says it’s that Ben Franklin fella…but he totally stole the idea from me.

PTM: What was Sylvester Stallone’s character name in Rocky?
 The Situation: This is a trick question. Sly wasn't in the Rocky & Bullwinkle movie.
Sandy: Aw shucks. It’s Rocky a-course.

PTM: What is a baby kangaroo called?
The Situation: Doesn't that depend on what the mother kangaroo names it?
Sandy: A joey, duh. Y’all shoulda known that one. Did you know the female kangaroo is called a flyer? And a papa is called a boomer? Ain’t I so smart?

PTM: What do the letters stand for in Alf’s name?
The Situation: Umm, errr.... Abs, Lollipops and Fur?
Sandy: Alien Life Form, but everyone knows there ain’t no such thing as aliens. I think it really stands for Aluminum Flouride which has the same initials. 

PTM: Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of what?
The Situation: Fear of triscuits.
Sandy: A fear of ducks. *shudder* I suffer from that.

PTM: What kind of animal is Ronald Mcdonald’s friend Grimace?
The Situation: He looks like what I shit out after a night of drinking and tacos
Sandy: That ain’t no animal I never seen. That there be a big purple grape.

PTM: What is Superman’s weakness?
The Situation: Boobs.
Sandy: Kryptonite of course. But I think his real weakness is me. Hai-yah!! 

PTM: What is the middle name of Stewie on Family Guy?
The Situation: Is he the dog? I'm going to guess Alabastor
Sandy: I don’t bother myself with such trivial things. I ain’t never seen the show. But I have it on good authority that it be Gilligan.

PTM: Who plays Kirk Cameron’s parents on Growing Pains? 10 pts for real names and 10 pts for character names.
The Situation: Katey Segal and Ed O'Neill played Al and Peg Bundy.
Sandy: Everyone knows it’s a pain to grow up. I ain’t never subjected myself to watching that. I already know what it’s like.

PTM: I was keeping score until I realized The Situation is a complete dumbass. Wait, what's that? I can't call the contestants names even if they are a moron? My producer says I need to apologize to The Situation. Sorry for calling you a dumbass.
The Situation: That's okay, I hear it from my mom and dad all the time.
PTM: I can't imagine why. The winner of today's show is Sandy the Squirrel. You win an all expenses paid trip to Saudi Arabia. Bring your sun screen. That's it for today. Tune in next time when Mr. T clashes wits with The Situation.

I want to thank Baby Sister over at La Esquina de la Estrellita for playing the part of Sandy the Squirrel. Go give her some blog love and tell her I sent you over.


Anonymous said...

I was so incredibly shocked at the outcome of this game! I mean, The Situation has a book out. How can you be stupid and write a book? It was full on tanning tips, how to avoid grenades (I didn't realize he'd been to war), and how to make your hair hurricane proof. He sounds genius. I demand a recount!

*There is an incredible need for a sarcasm font!*

Unknown said...

Jewels - say it ain't so??? A BOOK!?

What the mother-f is this world coming to when we can't get published and he can!?

Tony Van Helsing said...

You might as well have asked Patrick from Spongebob, he'd still have won.

Oilfield Trash said...

That guy is so stupid aborted kids routinely score higher on the SAT's than he does.

Bossy Betty said...

I am still not canceling my date with him.

Unknown said...

Some folks are just plain stupid. He can't help it! Maybe he was hit in the head as a child.

Ms. A said...

I'm out of the loop on this one.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I don't think you're sorry for calling the Situation a dumbass.

Jess said...

Abs lollipops and fur?! You made soda come out of my nose, so thanks for that.
I would like my singing telegram from The Biebs, tell Drescher to stay home.

The Empress said...

I always assumed the Situation was dumber than a box of rocks but wow, you certainly helped clarify the true extent of his stupidity. Very entertaining post!

Anonymous said...

Tricia-I only wish I was making this up. Sadly it is totally true! *Shakes head* said...

I don't know the Situation either. Thank goodness. Good job, BabySis.

Chuck said...

I have a situation and could use the help of a dumbass...perfect match!

Cheeseboy said...

Yeah, I bet The Situation has never been called dumbass before.

Hilarity at its best. You done well again.

Baby Sister said...

Saudi Arabia?? Lucky me!! :) It's pretty easy to win again him though...

Pat Tillett said...

that was a great one! that dufus truly gives the human race a bad name (or at least a stupid one). Good job you two!