Monday, June 13, 2011

Battle of the......

 
The time has come for a fresh, new, shiny battle. I am going to pit eight Sesame Street characters against each other for your amusement (and a little for my amusement). There will be four 1st round elimination matches leaving 4 characters to duel in the 2nd round. After the 2nd round, there will be only 2 remaining characters left to fight for the crown of Sesame Street Top Dog (or Cat). The combatants will be chosen at random from the eight characters I have already chosen. Enough chit-chat, let’s get the 1st match underway.



OSCAR THE GROUCH
vs
GROVER



 



PTM: I asked the studio audience to write down some questions for our combatants to answer before their battle. I will pick them randomly from this sombrero.

PTM: I will start with you Grover. And the first question says: Which of Jim Henson’s Muppets is your favorite?

Grover: That’s an easy one, Leonardo.

PTM: No, Grover, that is the name of one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The question was about the Muppets, you know, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Gonzo. Those guys.

Grover: Oh, I always mix those two up. I’m a big fan of Beaker. He’s so easy to understand.

PTM: Moving on, next question is, what is your favorite topping to put on a pizza?

Grover: Fruit Loops and a little honey mustard.

PTM: You’re a weird guy. Here’s another one, are you mad that you weren’t  made anatomically correct? You know, not having a penis and all.

Grover: What’s a penis?

PTM: You should ask your mother that question. One more question for you Grover, then we move on to Oscar. Who is your celebrity crush?

Grover: Penny from the Inspector Gadget cartoon. She was cute.

PTM: Ok Grover, you can go back to the locker room to get ready for the battle. Oscar, I’m going to ask you four questions from the audience now. You had a guest appearance on the sitcom Scrubs, that must have been exciting for you?

Oscar: It was but Zach Braff kept leering at me and licking his lips. I’m not sure if he wanted to eat me or bang me.

PTM: Thanks for sharing that with us. Next question, have you ever thought about upgrading to a bigger garbage can, like a 2 bedroom?

Oscar: Like I never heard that question before. How very original of whatever dumbass wrote that one up. That’s like asking Big Bird if he is self conscious about his height. Let’s hope the next question isn’t from a moron.

PTM: I was going to say that was a little harsh but then I remembered you were Oscar the Grouch. Do you have any STD’s?

Grover: Now there’s a ballsy question. Let’s see, I have herpes, had gonorrhea twice and I think I just contracted syphilis from the slut from last night but I won’t know until I go to the doctor. I’m immune to the HIV so I don’t have to worry about that.

PTM: I don’t think you can be immune to HIV.

Oscar: I know a guy that gave me some pills to block it. He’s legit.

PTM: All righty then. Last question, you would look sexy with a tattoo, how come you don’t have one?

Oscar: It’s this damn hair; it’s all over my body. If I shave it, it just grows back in a day. I actually have 3 tattoos but you can’t see them because of all this hair. If you want you can come over and shave me if you want to see them. Just meet me after the battle.

PTM: Thank you Oscar. You can go back to the locker room and be back out to battle in 20 minutes.

Now this is where you as the reader get to vote on who you want to win the battle. Do you like Grover or Oscar the Grouch? Please leave your pick in a comment. Polls will close on Friday June 17th at 11:59 PM. Ballots will be tallied and a new battle will commence on Monday.


23 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Never a big fan of Grover, but Fruit Loops on pizza wins for me!

Oilfield Trash said...

I loved this post.

Oscar all the way!!!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I vote for Oscar, such a cute grouch.
xoRobyn

Baby Sister said...

Definitely Grover.

M Pax said...

LOl Cute. Oscar should be mopping the floor with Grover. Oh wait, Oscar doesn't mop. Does he?

Ms. A said...

Oscar!

Marlene said...

Oscar all the way! He's such a dirty little bugger.

Reputation@Stake said...

I vote for the character whose name ends in "R" ...

... and who also has an "O" in their name ...

... and who is furry.

Reputation@Stake said...

I'm thinking that I might not have been clear enough in my last comment. My vote goes to the poor sap who doesn't have a nose. (Henson can be cruel.)

allison said...

Though Grover's pizza sounds delish, Oscar has always cracked me up with his sarcasm and shiny outlook on life.

Nippy The Penguin said...

Oscar all the way here.

The Angry Lurker said...

The sammich man sent me over and Oscar all the way.

The Simple Dude said...

I've always dug Oscar, and this post confirms it!

SD
The Simple Dude

Joshua said...

Oscar's scrappy. Grover's just spastic. And even though spastic can sometimes equal insane, Oscar still has the edge because of the trash can lid.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Oscar. Badass. Lmao at the HIV stuff. And your Google ads are totally selling HIV tests!
New follower, sent from OT. He's a helluva pimp.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

All the oscar voters are forgetting. If grover turns into SUPER GROVER, he's gonna fly up into the air, and CRASH into anything he can.

Can, get it? Oscar's home is gonna get dive-bombed.

Go Grover Go!

KLZ said...

Oscar would totally win this. I hear Grover is afraid of monsters. Even though he IS one.

Pat Tillett said...

gotta be the "O" man...

good stuff!

Bushman said...

So much rooting for Oscar but have you forgot about the fact that Grover is a near.....far expert. He moves like the wind and have you ever seen OTG out of his can? Kind of a hinderence. I'm going with Grover!

Justlittlecajunme said...

Grover! I stopped by via suggestion of Oilfield Trash. Great site..

www.justlittlecajunme.blogspot.com

Mynx said...

love a bad boy so it has to be that delicious green monster Oscar.

Oh and OT sent me :)

The Reckmonster said...

You're totally gonna owe O.T. your left nut - he pimped you out big time. It's like you're hangin' with the popular kid now! whoo! hoo!

Anyway...I like Grover. He has the ability to drive people mad with his lunacy. He's a weird little fucker. I like weird. Although, I'm probably a lot more like Oscar myself...

Stace said...

Oscar hands down!!