Monday, June 20, 2011

Battle of Sesame Street: Round 2

The next round of the Sesame Street Battle is upon us. Oscar must be invincible to super Grover because he wiped the floor with that blue freak. If you forgot to vote on the last round make sure you get it in for this one.

The Count

PTM: For a change of pace, I’m going to let the combatants ask me some questions. First up is The Count. Whatever you want to ask me Count, go ahead.

The Count: Can I take a little bite of your neck? I could use some blood.

PTM: You can try but you are going to get maple syrup instead of blood. You are better off biting my camera man.

The Count: I’ll take a nibble after the interview. Do you have a fear of toasters?

PTM: I was when I was a kid but I’m much more afraid of Abe Vigoda.

The Count: I don’t think he has any blood left, I think he is just skin. PTM, what is your favorite number?

PTM: My favorite number is 43,689. It’s the amount of times I got laid in college.

The Count fist bumps PTM

The Count: Do you know the best way to get rid of crabs? I’m itching like crazy down there.

PTM: First you want to bleach your whole groin area then add some lighter fluid and put a match to it. It’s going to burn pretty bad at first but that just means its working. Let it burn for about 2 to 3 minutes then throw some baby powder and vinegar on it to put it out. That should clear you up.

The Count: I will try that tomorrow. That is all the questions I have, now where is that cameraman?

PTM: Ok, Elmo, your turn to ask me some questions.

Elmo: Elmo excited to ask questions. How come Grover touches Elmo’s butt and then tells Elmo not to tell anyone?

PTM: Well Elmo, Grover is what we call a pedophile. He wants to do naughty things to you and he doesn’t want anyone to know about it because it’s illegal. Just let him do what he wants and eventually he will get bored and stop.
Elmo: Ok, PTM, if you think that’s best. Can I touch your abs?

PTM: Normally I don’t let anyone touch my abs but I can’t resist that cute face.

Elmo swipes his hand across PTMs’ abs.

Elmo: Ooooo, I could grate cheese over them. PTM, how can I get abs like yours?

PTM: Lots of steroids and a little plastic surgery.

Elmo: Thanks. How come you haven’t accepted my friend request on Myspace?

PTM: People still use that shit? I just assumed that Tom hung himself and the site was deleted. You can follow me on Twitter @ just_the_cheese (so can you as the reader, hint, hint).

Elmo: Elmo excited to follow Powdered Toast Man. That was my last question. I’m ready to battle The Count now.

You heard him folks, it is time for battle. Please either cast your vote for The Count or Elmo. You cannot vote for me, this goes for you Reputation@Stake. The polls will close on Friday the 24th at 11:59 PM. The next battle will happen on Monday the 27th. See you then (if not sooner).


Hart Johnson said...

The COUNT!!!! One, One, One fabulous Count. HA HA HA HA HA!

Baby Sister said...

Oh definitely Elmo!!

Anonymous said...

Two! Two votes for The Count! AH AH AH AH AH!

Bossy Betty said...

Gotta go with the count on this one...

Stace said...

The Count all the way!!!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Definitely the Count!

Reputation@Stake said...

The Count, because with him around I don't have to take off my shoes to count to twenty.

Pat Tillett said...

The Count!
Elmo's voice drives me nuts...

Ms. A said...

Not voting for either, I'm stickin' with Oscar!

M Pax said...

The Count! He has pointy teeth and a great accent. Plus, he has the power of numbers.

The Empress said...

I'm still cracking up over your cure for crabs! ...I think I will have to give my vote to Elmo. The Count will definitely be out of commission for an indefinite period of time after treating his itchy bits! said...

What a raunchy interview. Loved it.
I "knew" the Count in college, if you know what I mean. He said I was his #37452, so I'm voting for Elmo.

Toyin O. said...

Very funny.

The Reckmonster said...

I'm voting for Elmo based solely on the fact that I have a beef with a person from a former Eastern Block Nation at the present time, and quite frankly, the Count reminds me of him. GO ELMO!

Nippy The Penguin said...

The count gets my vote.