Thursday, June 9, 2011

Another IHOP Adventure

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 I feel that every IHOP should be open 24 hours because who hasn’t gotten the craving for pancakes at 3 in the morning. And since pancakes are so difficult to make I’m relieved that I can purchase them from an “International” affiliated institute.

Nicole and I went to dine at IHOP before we saw The Hangover Part 2 (which was very funny and worth seeing if you are at all wondering, maybe I will do a review of it, don’t hold me to it). If I didn't mention it in the last IHOP post, you have to try the cinnamon roll french toast or pancakes. They are delectable. Never mind if you are on a diet, use IHOP as your cheat day. Tell them Powdered Toast Man sent you, they will give you their best seat and an extra strip of bacon. There was only one waitress working at the time and these are her thoughts during the night.
Waitress' Thoughts
“I guess he can’t taste the spit in his coffee. That is 37 in a row without being caught”
“I love bacon, someone should make a bacon drink, I would buy that”
“I wonder if that woman’s boobs are real. Would she be offended if I asked?”
 “Why is it called International House of Pancakes? Are there IHOPs in other countries? Do they ship the pancake batter in from Europe?”

“If that guy doesn’t stop staring at my ass I am going to stab him in the eye with a fork”
“I should of had an abortion”
“Shovel down another sausage link you fat piece of shit”
“I’m going to put a warning in the menu that says ‘May cause diabetes’ with a picture of Wilfred Brimley’s face”

“I can’t believe I have a master’s degree and I’m serving people scrambled eggs and coffee for a living”

“I should have taken that job to do amateur porn”
“Is Bob Barker still alive?”
“All employees must wash hands before returning to work…….except me”

11 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That would be my last venture into that dining establishment! However, I've had similar thoughts while watching people gorge themselves on fat.

Ms. A said...

Your IHOP isn't open 24 hours? Ours is.

Pat Tillett said...

I used to eat at IHOP, then a place called the "Original Pancake House" opened up close by. Now I think the waitresses just wait on each other...The OPH only serves breakfast and closes at 2:00 PM. It is ALWAYS packed, even on week days. Now the local IHOP is like the local Denny's. You go there only when nothing else is open...
Great post and funny (as usual). Good one!

Oilfield Trash said...

The ones here are open 24 hours.

Jack of Diamonds said...

^ same here

Shell said...

Somehow, even with the chance I could have a waitress like that, I'm still craving IHOP. Stuffed French Toast is awesome.

Georgina Dollface said...

We don't have many IHOPS here in the city, only out in the burbs. Denny's is now selling all you can eat pancakes (plain) for $4.00! I've been tempted to get dressed in the middle of the night and go have some, but then I remember how, in my youth, my friends and I used to go to Denny's after a night of pub crawling (and act like asses). Yeah, I wouldn't want to meet "myself" 20 years later at a Denny's at 3am. What a bunch of obnoxious goofs we were. - G

Mrs. Pickle said...

Do they still have the all you can eat pancakes at I HOP? That was so great! It is even better at 1 in the morning.

Baby Sister said...

Oh she sounds like a winner. I love IHOP!

Bushman said...

We had an IHOP down the street from where I worked once and those fuckers wouldn't serve me any pancakes. I threw a fit and walked out only to pass the sign a little closer and it actually said International House of Prayer!
No wonder I missed the rapture!

Anna Gray said...

Is Bob Barker still alive? I kind of want to know...