Friday, June 17, 2011

Weird Laws: Part 13

If you came here expecting my movie review post, it has been moved to next week. Here are the next set of weird laws of the U.S.

MAINE

In Biddeford it is illegal to gamble at an airport. There was a problem with a guy guessing too many planes going down in flames.

In Freeport it is illegal to sell mercury thermometers. Too many kids think it's candy and cut their tongue on the thermometer trying to get to it.

MARYLAND

In Rockville it is illegal to swim in public fountains. Probably because so many people pee in those things.

In Cumberland it is illegal to swear on a playground. How am I suppose to express myself when I want to use the slide?


MASSACHUSETTS

It is illegal to serve beer to hospital patients. Are they talking about in the hospital or at the bar? Cuz unless they are wearing their gown at the bar, I wouldn't know if they were a hospital patient.

It is against the law for shooting ranges to have targets that look like humans. I will just post my exes face on a target of a bear then.

MICHIGAN

It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. All car sales people work part time as pastors and altar boys.

It is illegal to be drunk on a train. With a crane, heading to Tulane while eating chicken chow mein.

MINNESOTA

It is illegal to loiter near any structure or vehicle without the consent of the owner.What if I plan on stealing the car, do I need to give them a heads up?

In Minnetonka it is illegal to throw tacks, glass or nails onto a street or sidewalk. Dammit, that is how I celebrate 'step on something sharp day'.

MISSISSIPPI

It is illegal to seduce a woman by lying and promising to marry her. Mississippi must be filled with a lot of lesbians.

It is illegal to teach someone what polygamy is. Is that when you have sex with shapes?

MISSOURI

In Perryville it is illegal to injure any bird within city limits. Big Bird better stay the fuck of of Perryville if he knows what's good for him.

It is illegal for a bar owner to let people drink on his premises between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. That makes sense, that's when the vampires go to the bar and drink.

16 comments:

Joshua said...

Having gone to undergrad in Michigan, and the fact that we're smartasses, we looked up the old Blue Laws that were still in effect. I'd have to look them all up again, but the one that springs to mind was when a guy snatched a purse and the cops were chasing him, and he screamed "Get the fuck out of the way" and a woman and her kid. When they arrested him, they were able to also charge him with two counts of "swearing in front of a woman" and "swearing in front of a child." Totally cracked me up. Still.

The Empress said...

People pee in public fountains? I'll have to remember this the next time I decide to climb inside one and flash my ta-ta's...

The Ranter's Box

Joshua said...

Umm...Pics or it didn't happen, Empress?

Can I say that, or did I break a law somewhere?

Bushman said...

They have modified the law now....you CAN eat chicken chow mein!

Tricia said...

Damn uppity Minnetonkans - ruining ALL my fun.

Sex'n'Fries said...

No beer in hospitals? That sucks

Oilfield Trash said...

We can't pee in the public fountains? lol

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You outdid yourself today! And does Minnesota really think that law will deter car theft?

Ms. A said...

I always get a kick out of arcane laws. Makes me wonder about the people behind them.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I like the prohibition against beer to hospital patients but I'm sure the patients don't. I wonder if they can enjoy whiskey.
xoRobyn

Baby Sister said...

These posts always make me laugh.

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Now they are funny who would think not allowed to serve beer to hospitial patients wtf........lol

I had more to say but I know have a 3yr old on my shoulders and driving cars through my hair which makes it hard to think.............

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Mynx said...

But I like dancing in fountains with the Empress...

Pat Tillett said...

I love these things. I'm sure that there must have been an individual case that cause the laws to be passed. Right? I mean really, we can't be that stupid can we?

Teachinfourth said...

That's why I stay away from Rockville...