Street Fighter II: Meeting with Human Resources

Ken from the Street Fighter II video game gets called down to Human Resources for a meeting. Here is how that meeting went.



 Human Resources Supervisor Glenn: Ken, thank you for meeting with me today. I will get straight to the point. We have had several complaints about you. E. Honda claims you have been clogging up his toilet. Guile said you keep prank calling him. Blanka said something but I can never understand what that dude is saying. I'm here to see if  all these allegations are true. I decided to review your file. I found out that you possess the same abilities as Ryu. He has the Hadoken, Shoryuken and Hurricane Kick and so do you. Are you just copying all of his moves?

Ken: Well, yeah, he said it was okay.

Glenn: Oh, well then that clears up everything.

Ken: Phew! Can I go then?

Glenn: Not just yet. Let me just call Ryu to confirm what you said. Picks up the phone. Hello, Ryu. It is Glenn from HR. I just have one question for you. Did you say it was okay for Ken to copy all of your moves? Oh, I see. Is that right? Very interesting. Thank you for your help. Enjoy your lunch. Well, Ken, according to Ryu he didn't give you any such permission. He said he has asked you repeatedly to stop stealing his moves. Anything you care to say?

Ken: Ryu is a fucking liar! He just knows I can perform those moves better than him.  Who are you going to believe?

Glenn: Please resist the use of profanity when you are in my office. Ryu has been with us for years and we have never had any issues. You joined us only two months ago and already there are several issues. That call to Ryu was just a formality. I already knew the answer, I just wanted to see your reaction. I did some digging on you. I found out that no one actually hired you. How did you get to be on the Street Fighter team?

Ken: What are you talking about? Steve hired me.

Glenn: We do not have any one named Steve that works here.

Ken: Did I say Steve, I meant Sal.

Glenn: Ummm, who?

Ken: Sally, it was Sally.

Glenn: Is this a joke? I'm not amused.

Ken: Just stares blankly with mouth agape.

Glenn: Well, explain yourself!!

Ken: Starts to cry. I'm a fraud. I don't belong here. I have been hiding from my girlfriend Barbie. She's crazy. I only meant to stay for a couple of days but it is so cool here. Starts sobbing uncontrollably.

Glenn: Hold it together man. Show some dignity.

Ken: Sorry, sorry,  I'm so ashamed of myself.

Glenn: So why are you hiding from your girlfriend?

Ken: I slept with her sister Skipper.

Glenn: That is fucked up. Was she at least hot?

Ken: Ohh yeah. But she is crazy too. I can't go back. Can I stay? Pleeeeeease?

Glenn: Fine, just stop crying. You are embarrassing yourself. You can stay but you have to come up with your own moves and you have to apologize to E. Honda, Guile, Blanka and especially Ryu. You better get on your hand and knees for that one.

Ken: Thank you, thank you. You won't regret it.

Glenn. I am already regretting it. Do you have anything else to add before you leave?

Ken: Yeah, what is Chun- Li's story?