Monday, August 19, 2019

Disney Princess Jobs

Have you ever wondered what a princess would do if they had to get a real job? Now you don't have to think. I figured out which job each Disney Princess would have if she couldn't be a princess anymore.

I did Google Disney Princesses because I couldn't remember them all. A few sites claim that there are 14. I know that Mulan isn't technically a princess but just go with me here.

Ariel (The Little Mermaid) - Aquarium Tour Guide and moonlights as a Stripper. Her costume is mermaid themed. Who wouldn't love to see an authentic clam shell bra?

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) - Zookeeper. For her love of animals.

Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) - Aide at an old folk's home. She has already worked and lived with a bunch of old men.

Cinderella (Cinderella)- I know you are probably thinking maid but I am going with Fashion Designer. She designs the clothes and her animal labor makes them.

Rapunzel (Rapunzel) - She would make a great Interior Decorator. How many times do you think she rearranged her room being locked in that tower for so long?

Jasmine (Aladdin) - Lion Tamer at the circus. I know she had a pet tiger but I figure a big cat is a big car.

Mulan (Mulan) - Some will argue that she is not a princess but when I Googled Disney princesses her name came up. She would be a fantastic Secret Agent.

Moana (Moana) - Cruise Ship Captain. Maybe she would start off as Activities Director and work her way up.

Belle (Beauty and the Beast)- Librarian. She loves books, not much else needs to be said.

Pocohontas (Pocohontas) - Campground Manager. She is very outdoorsy.

Tiana (Princes and the Frog) - Restaurant owner. She wanted to own a restaurant. Now she can.

Merida (Brave)- Owner of a chain of shooting ranges specializing in archery.

Elsa (Frozen)- Ice Sculptress  for weddings or Zamboni Driver

Anna (Frozen)- Elsa's Booking Agent.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Poor Anna never gets a break.

Birgit said...

Well, they all have pretty good jobs except for slutty Ariel who loves showing her fins. Do t you know, Snow White opens up her own brothel? Cinderella or, as her original name was, Cinderslut( I’m not kidding) worked the corner of Pumpkin and footmen st. Elsa did end up working the Zamboni machine. Jasmine sold oriental rugs and Aurora keeps getting fired for sleeping on the job. Belle is a Librarian but a bitter one who kicks out anyone who starts singing Be Our Guest whereas Pochantas is now a kitchen helper because no one could get past all her tattoos. Mulan is a secret agent getting it on with Bond...James Bond and Moana is a cruise director but has taken The Love Boat’s Julie’s path and is addicted to coke. Anna is dead...found in a freezer with that dumb ass snowman hugging her. Tiana is a restaurant owner but has married Sweeney Todd and now they only seem to offer frog legs on the menu. As for Rapunzel? She is a Walmart greeter because she was just too dumb. Anyone who was told not to say anything about the prince coming to get some and then blabs to her captor how much heavier the witch is than the horny prince can only get-sad jobs.

nashvillecats2 said...

What a lot of thought and imagination has gone into this post, Well done really enjoyed reading.


Adam said...

I'm going to the shooting range cosplaying as Katniss Everdeen now. I will get attention.

Mary Kirkland said...

I agree, Belle would have been a librarian.

Geo. said...

If you ever decide to start an employment agency I will send all the princesses I know your way. Excellent post!

DEZMOND said...

Cinderella definitely has her sweatshop made of rats and mice and birds... such an entrepreneur!

Pat Hatt said...

Cinderella may suffer the wrath of the SJWs or the SPCA.

Always the red heads that get frisky. Bet she's not a fish out of water.

Shammickite said...

You are obviously a lot more familiar with Disney princesses than I am. Elsa for Zamboni driver definitely!

Jax said...

I giggled at Elsa as a zomboni driver. What a perfect job for the ice queen!! Ariel is definitely my favorite Disney princess so I refuse to believe she'd take off her bikini top. Maybe she could be a Rockette instead?

Sandra Cox said...

OMG. I loved this. Too funny.

Liz A. said...

I think Disney considers any of its heroines princesses, so that's the logic behind including Mulan. By that logic, though, Lilo should qualify as well.


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