Friday, August 23, 2019

Thoughts of Michael Myers


Halloween is almost around the corner. so I thought I would have a pre-holiday post. I wrote this post up last year but never published it. If you don't know who Michael Myers is then you should rent any of the Halloween films and come back ASAP. Here are the Thoughts of Michael Myers while hiding in a closet waiting to kill someone.

  • I shouldn't have eaten two bean burritos for lunch.


  • 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion....'

  • Where the fuck is this bitch? I've been in here for 20 minutes.

  • Was it Bill Paxton or Bill Pullman in Twister?

  • I think I forgot to brush my teeth this morning.

  • I should have peed before I came in here.

  • I don't care what everybody is saying, I think Trump is doing the best he can.

  • Freddy vs. Jason, that was bullshit, my agent sucks.

  • Shit, I left my knife in the bathroom.

  • I should really kill the Kardashians now, it's time.

  • The license plate that I saw read 'VMAQ2PLB.' Now what does that mean?

  • Is the McRib out now? I finally need to try one of those things.

  • Do I need milk? Dammit, I always forget to check.

23 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I can imagine the 'I should've peed' came up often.
And what's up with license plates that spell something that only the person behind the wheel understands? What's the point? Besides someone dumb enough to spend a bunch of money on a plate no one can read...

anne marie in philly said...

YES, kill the kartrashians NOW! sick to death of those vapid whores!

Sandra Cox said...

Even though I don't watch slashers, this was hilarious.

Janie Junebug said...

When I had to wait on the side of the interstate for a tow truck that took about two and a half hours to arrive, I needed to pee the entire time. I understand the peeing thing.

Love,
Janie

Adam said...

groovy baby











wrong one, oops

Liz A. said...

Wow, he was in that closet a long time...

DEZMOND said...

He should really come out of the closet!

Pat Hatt said...

Too bad he couldn't get in on the Freddy vs Jason action. Must have one super bladder too. Bet a thought these days would be, "which timeline am I in again?"

Jax said...

I agree with Dez... just come out of the closet!! That being said, how does one forget to brush their teeth in the morning? Asking for a friend. :)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Funny stuff! As an indication of my sophisticated sense of humor, I liked the one about eating too many bean burritos best. :) Matter of fact, I've written whole posts about flatulence...

Al Penwasser said...

I'm thinking the bean burrito thing would enhance the horror factor.

Mary Kirkland said...

I can imagine anyone waiting in a closet to be thinking most of those. It's almost Halloween month which means watching all the horror movies I can find.

JACKIESUE said...

oh I love this so much..would love to add your blog to my list of reads..I enjoyed it..

Denise Covey said...

Ah, nice prelude to Halloween!

Elephant's Child said...

I don't do Halloween, or movies. However on a v difficult day this has made me smile broadly. Many, many thanks.

Sandra Cox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandra Cox said...

Hope you're having a fun, creative Sunday. Looking forward to the next installment of smiles.

Jemi Fraser said...

That was fun! Myers is a smart comedian!

The Angry Lurker said...

Bill Paxton!

Pat Hatt said...

Oh, and also..."How many times do I have to kill this Strode ***ch. She comes back more than I do."

The Blog Fodder said...

I do have to watch one of those movies. Love Mike Myers.
And thanks for the massage vibes. Gave me a good feeling all over.

Joanne said...

how about while looking at his phone, "One bar...seriously?"

bookworm said...

Did I leave the iron on? Did I lock my front door? Oh wow, I think the registration on my car expires tonight....Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com