Wednesday, July 25, 2012

So Batty

I just saw The Dark Knight Rises twice and it was awesome. I first saw it at the drive-in but the picture quality wasn't that great so I decided to see it in a regular theater a few days later. Much better visually the second time around. I know a friend of a friend of a cousin of a guy that cuts Christopher Nolan's mother's hair and he scored me a copy of The Dark Knight Rises script. I read through it and noticed there were a few scenes that they didn't use. I figured since you are not going to see them in the movie, you might as well read them on my blog. Here is a short scene between Bruce Wayne and Alfred.

Bruce Wayne comes home to the mansion after a bite to eat. He walks into the main hall. Alfred is cleaning and wearing the bat suit.

Bruce Wayne: Alfred, what are you doing?

Alfred: Oh sir, you startled me. I thought you went out for Taco Bell?

Bruce Wayne: I came back for my wallet, I left it on my dresser. Why are you wearing the bat suit?

Alfred: Well, uh, it's hard to explain.

Bruce Wayne: Try me.

Alfred: Well, you see, I'm an old man with needs. You wouldn't think to look at me but I am a bit kinky. I tried on the bat suit for fun one day while you were out. I can't tell you how good it feels against my bare skin. You can't tell but my willy is fully erect right now.

Bruce Wayne: What the fuck Alfred!! I go out for some food and I come back to find you getting off in my batman suit. How can I fight crime in that now?

Alfred: I always make sure I thoroughly clean it each time.

Bruce Wayne: Each time? How long as this been going on?

Alfred: Don't know exactly. I would guess 4 months, at least.

Bruce Wayne: 4 months?!?!? Holy shit. I am going to have to burn that one and make another.  Please don't tell me you released your little Alfreds inside the suit.

Alfred: I would be lying if I said that didn't happen a few times.

Bruce Wayne: That is disgusting. Why did I have to forget my wallet?!?

Alfred: If you are going to get rid of the suit anyway, can I keep it? I promise not to put it on in front of you.

Bruce Wayne: Ok, I am going to get my wallet and leave now. We will pretend that this never happened. I don't want to know any more secrets.

Alfred: Can you get me a Doritos Locos Taco?

Bruce Wayne: Fine. Bye.

I personally think they should of left that scene in there. Would of added some humor.


Al Penwasser said...

Well, it IS black leather.

Mark said...

This left me horrified and disturbed. Which makes it awesome.

Dwrek said...

Ya it lived up to the hype for sure.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Batman has no room to talk. I bet he's released a few Bruce's in there himself.

Birgit said...

Batman is just secretly longing for Robin....that is the real reason for the leather bat suit. Seeing Alfred in his own Batsuit just stirred up memories. I am glad he is letting Alfie keep the suit

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Would've added a whole new dimension to the story...

Pat Tillett said...

Where's Robin when you need him?

Ms. A said...

Drive-in??? They still have those?

Chuck said...

Might have had to give the movie a different rating if that scene and possibly others got in...oh wait, really didn't get the script. Dang, I was believin'