Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I just saw The Dark Knight Rises twice and it was awesome. I first saw it at the drive-in but the picture quality wasn't that great so I decided to see it in a regular theater a few days later. Much better visually the second time around. I know a friend of a friend of a cousin of a guy that cuts Christopher Nolan's mother's hair and he scored me a copy of The Dark Knight Rises script. I read through it and noticed there were a few scenes that they didn't use. I figured since you are not going to see them in the movie, you might as well read them on my blog. Here is a short scene between Bruce Wayne and Alfred.
Bruce Wayne comes home to the mansion after a bite to eat. He walks into the main hall. Alfred is cleaning and wearing the bat suit.
Bruce Wayne: Alfred, what are you doing?
Alfred: Oh sir, you startled me. I thought you went out for Taco Bell?
Bruce Wayne: I came back for my wallet, I left it on my dresser. Why are you wearing the bat suit?
Alfred: Well, uh, it's hard to explain.
Bruce Wayne: Try me.
Alfred: Well, you see, I'm an old man with needs. You wouldn't think to look at me but I am a bit kinky. I tried on the bat suit for fun one day while you were out. I can't tell you how good it feels against my bare skin. You can't tell but my willy is fully erect right now.
Bruce Wayne: What the fuck Alfred!! I go out for some food and I come back to find you getting off in my batman suit. How can I fight crime in that now?
Alfred: I always make sure I thoroughly clean it each time.
Bruce Wayne: Each time? How long as this been going on?
Alfred: Don't know exactly. I would guess 4 months, at least.
Bruce Wayne: 4 months?!?!? Holy shit. I am going to have to burn that one and make another. Please don't tell me you released your little Alfreds inside the suit.
Alfred: I would be lying if I said that didn't happen a few times.
Bruce Wayne: That is disgusting. Why did I have to forget my wallet?!?
Alfred: If you are going to get rid of the suit anyway, can I keep it? I promise not to put it on in front of you.
Bruce Wayne: Ok, I am going to get my wallet and leave now. We will pretend that this never happened. I don't want to know any more secrets.
Alfred: Can you get me a Doritos Locos Taco?
Bruce Wayne: Fine. Bye.
I personally think they should of left that scene in there. Would of added some humor.
Posted by Powdered Toast Man at 8:00 AM