Friday, June 18, 2010

Missed Connections

Have you ever wondered if the 'Missed Connections' on Craigslist ever get a response? Here are some real missed connections with responses that may or may not be real.

Girl on bike near sloss- m4w- Why were you wearing so much clothing?

Dear stranger,

I am self conscience because I am covered with nipples.


Our talk of fishing left me hooked - m4w
- Okay, you blew my mind. Here is this gorgeous woman standing before me looking so breathtaking, in every way. I would have never guessed you had just come from a sleepless night of fishing. I hope I wasn't being too forward, but hope I was enough that you know I am more than a little impressed by you. I want to get to know you more, is that possible? I meant what I offered you. I know I shouldn't jump so fast after only a few meets and a couple of conversations, but I have a very strong feeling about you. After learning this other side of you today, I am left trying to find a way to express that being it is at your work. Would you strongly consider my offer? It would be a great opportunity for us both. See you soon gorgeous.

Dear Has-too-much-time-on-his-hands-thinking-up-clever-titles,

Dear Wears-too-much-cologne,

I did not think about your offer. I don't know why you would think I would want to add to your booger and ear wax collections. I lied about going fishing. I got really drunk and tried to swim with the dolphins.


Pizza delivery guy 67th ave Bell - w4m- You work at that pizza place on 67th ave and Bell. You come to my work almost all the time for drinks. You're very sweet and good looking. I was flirting with you today hoping you'd ask for my number. You waved bye to me when you drove off. If you read this lets talk you probably think you dont have a chance but your wrong ;)

Dear Girl that thinks she's hot,

I only keep coming back because you keep giving me free drinks and who is going to pass up free cosmos? That was flirting? I thought you were doing your impression of Elmer Fudd. BTW I wasn't waving goodbye to you, I was waving at myself in the window, I am so hot.


HOT police officer working at the WH graduation - w4m
- you were working at the WH graduation at the PB convention center. i could not take my eyes off of you. we met in the hallway and spoke. thought you were so cute, but couldnt tell if you had on a wedding band. Would love to know more. email me and tell me what you were wearing so i know its you.

Dear Moron,

Let's see, since I am a police officer, I wonder what I could have been wearing that day when we met? I'm going to say a nurse's uniform but I know I'm wrong. BTW I am not married but I should warn you about something before you get too interested. I have a tail.


Debbie said...

Craigslist is a never ending source of entertainment!
I have to admit that the second one made me feel sorry for the girl.

TS Hendrik said...

'May or may not be real'
Those are some pretty harsh, albeit funny responses.

The Invisible Seductress said...

I have a tail too OMG!!! I wonder if he'd settle...

Steve G. said...

Every time I read the ones left by women on there, I think to myself, "She is either 400 pounds or has 30 cats." And the ones left by men are even worse. I picture men collecting their own fingernails in their basement level-sad.

Chuck said...

How pathetic do you have to be to even open yourself up to responses like that? If I ever logged on that site they would find me dead at my keyboard because I could never stop creating my own funny/insulting/humiliating/sick responses for the world to enjoy.

I must go now.

Bossy Betty said...

You've convinced me to stay off Craigslist. Now where am I going to get my sociological/psychological needs met?

Ally said...

I'm sorry but I'm addicted to reading those. I love it. I've posted a few just to see what would happen. I actually got a friend a date on there but he turned out to be TOTALLY insane.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Good job, PTM. Craigslist is some scary sh*t. I love the response to the cop about attire.

The Queen said...

I may have just spilled $40 worth of gin on my laugh while I was laughing.. warn a girl next time.. this was great!!!!

The Queen said...

*lap.. see I'm laughing so hard I can't type...

Pat Tillett said...

Those are great. I love them!
I figure if somebody posts something like that on CL, then they are wide open for funny responses, appropriate or otherwise!
keep 'em coming...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Looking forward to your Movie Dirty Dozen on Monday!

Sarah said...

Haha like Robyn, I loved the last add/response of the cop..too funny!

Mr. Stupid said...

That's one reason why I would love to stay away from Craigslist. These were very funny.