Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Battle of the Game Show Hosts: FINAL ROUND

In an amazing turn of events, Chuck Woolery sent Pat Sajak packing. With 85.7% of the votes Chuck wins by a landslide. It turns out that Pat Sajak is actually a mere puppet made of wood and Vanna White has been controlling the strings this whole time. I had a sneaking suspicion that Vanna was the brains behind The Wheel of Fortune but I could never prove it.

After 7 grueling weeks we are now down to our final battle between Bob Barker and Chuck Woolery. They both just had some rice pudding and we are now just waiting for them to wake up from their naps. Hey, a nap sounds pretty good right about now but as the host of this program I am not allowed to participate in a nap, it's in my contract. I can't remember why I agreed to such a preposterous agreement. I think I had to choose between naps and alligator flavored jell-o gelatin. That flavor is pretty tasty. I just realized I could of been in this battle, aren't I a game show host?

You can talk to me after the battle. Our contestants are waking up and ready to go.

BOB BARKER
vs

CHUCK WOOLERY





Born:
December 12, 1923
Retired: October 31, 2006
Estimated Death: June 17, 2089
Cause of Death: Chokes to death on salmon flavored pickle pop
Biggest Fear: Getting an STD from one of the Barker Beauties
Biggest Regret: Letting Drew Carey become the new host of The Price is Right
Favorite Memory: Rigging the Plinko game that one time for that hot piece of ass
What He Misses Most about The Price is Right: One word - BOOBIES
What He Won't Miss: Redneck Grannies and random drug tests
His Beef With Chuck: Eggo Waffles, Chuck knows




Born: March 16, 1941
Will Retire: ?????
Estimated Death: May 14, 2012
Cause of Death: Gets caught in an escalator
Biggest Fear: Bumps into Love Connection contestant on the street
Biggest Regret: Not winning Jay Leno look-a-like contest
Favorite Memory: Seeing Vanna White Naked
What He Misses about Love Connection: Free sandwiches
What He Won't Miss: The smell of a dirty vagina
His Beef With Bob: Won't get over the Eggo Waffle thing


WHO IS THE ULTIMATE GAME SHOW HOST???? VOTE NOW OR REGRET IT FOREVER. IF YOU HAVE YOUR PET SPAYED OR NEUTERED BOB WON'T PEE IN YOUR POOL.


10 comments:

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

I'm voting for Chuck. He's cute and boring.
xoRobyn

TS Hendrik said...

I love the cause of death for Bob. What better way for a guy with an anti whaling boat to go out? Fantastic. lol

I gotta go with Bob. He is the man. Much as I love Chuck, he just can't stand up to Bob.

Nippy The Penguin said...

Barker all the way here!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Bob, come on down! You're the next winner on Just the Cheese!

Cheeseboy said...

Both are kinda creepy old guys. But Chuck is just too cheesy, which is quite ironic for us cheese people.

I vote Bob Barker, B*#@*!

Cotton Blossom said...

Chuck wins. Bob's an idiot. Drew Carey shouldn't host ANYTHING!

Cotton Blossom said...

PS) Remember that club of mine and Rep's that we suckered you into? yeah? Well the club needs ya, buddy. Let me know if we can count on you. yeah...that is as detailed as it gets until you've committed. Sorry about that.

Donda said...

I guess I would vote for Chuck since he is going to kick it first. Bob has plenty of time to keep on winning!

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

If it comes down to these two.... You've got to go with Bob....

Jerry said...

Gotta be Bob