Thursday, August 23, 2012
Medical Jargon
New definitions used in medical reports
Negative patient care outcome ............ the patient died
Mental activity at the margins ......... insanity
Therapeutic misadventure ................ medical malpractice
Hematophagous arthropod vectors ............................. fleas
Spontaneous bowel contraction..................................... shit your pants
Engorged cellular depositing...................................... fat ass
Misfiring synaptic responses....................................... stupid
Underdeveloped phallic response................................ can't get an erection
Aggravated bovine ejection .............. being bucked off of a bull
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12 comments:
I suffer greatly from misfiring synaptic responses.
... and engorged cellular depositing!
The last one sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is. I can see these passing in to common usage really too.
Last one is funny!
Suburban Media Information Conduit - Paperboy.
Next time someone stupid pisses me off, I'm just going to call them an engorged cellular deposit. It's fun to insult someone when they have no idea what you're saying.
Catastrophic O-Ring Malfunction......diarrhea.
Are there T-shirts to go along with these statements?
I think I win...that last one is NOT a medical term right???
Engorged cellular depositing is by far the most hilarious.
Misfiring synaptic responses - hehe, Q should have used that one on Star Trek!
I usually try to avoid spontaneous bowel contractions. Well, in public anyway...
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